Words Unspoken
by blackkisbackk
Summary: I never knew I could want anything this badly, but from the beginning, I knew I wanted him. At first, I wanted him to suffer, but then I wanted something different. He was my professor-he was forbidden-and I'd had my heart broken once before. Nice Rose Weasley had never gotten anywhere, but now she would get exactly what she wanted, and what she wanted was Scorpius Malfoy.
1. Prologue (Present Day I)

_A/N: Howdy, all! So this story has been working its way around my brain for a while now, but I'm finally at a place where I feel good enough to put it out there for all of you._

_You know the drill: read on, let me know what you think, and enjoy!_

_Summary: Rose Weasley is entering her seventh and final year at Hogwarts when things change for her. And it's not the first time things have changed. From a sweet, shy girl, to the meanest girl in school, Rose is not about to let anybody walk all over her. Soon, however, a new professor comes along and rocks Rose's world from top to bottom, making her question everything. __Although at first, it's safe to say that she despises him, everything changes after one misunderstanding. __It starts with a tingle, but it ends with her feeling things she's never felt and craving things she never knew it was possible to crave. He's forbidden. She's forbidden. It's all forbidden, but often the things most out of our reach are the things we need the most. It's a complicated relationship for them, but neither knows if their raw desire for each other can help them through the hardest times._

_Chapter rated K+ for mildly suggestive themes._

* * *

**Chapter 1: Prologue (Present Day I)**

Scorpius always tells me how sexy I look in red lipstick. I can't help but smile to myself at the thought as I drag the shocking red tube across my lips. I hope he likes it. I always hope he likes it.

I stand up straight after I finish the final touches and step back to admire myself in the mirror. The tight, bright blue dress I'm wearing brings out my eyes. Sometimes even I'm amazed at how impossibly blue they are. Scorpius always tells me that he could get lost in my eyes. _"You'd have to send in a search party, baby," _he tells me. _"Because I will get lost in those oceans." __Idiot,_ I think to myself.

Things between Scorpius and I have been rocky lately. Honestly, things between Scorpius and me have always been rocky. It's always been complicated between him and me, but every time we find our way through—every time we know we belong.

We fit.

He loves me so much, and I love him all the more. We fight. For the year and half that we've been together we've been fighting. But it never lasts. After so many fights, he simply sweeps me into his arms and tells me to shut up as he kisses me. And that kiss feels like it did the first time—that first time I got the taste of the forbidden fruit. And I've been addicted to the fruit ever since.

I sigh and roll my head around my neck right before I take one last look in the mirror, grab my bag, and head out the door.

Scorpius and I have been apart for a month—a long, terrible month when he had to go to the States and do a favor for his father. A month long favor. Who's ever heard of such a thing?

The problem is that before he'd left for the U.S., he and I had a big fight. I can't even remember what the fight was about now. All I can think about is how it literally ached when he was away. The pain of being away from someone I love so deeply was almost more than I could bear. There were times when I thought I would just leave. I would put everything on halt and go to America and be with him. Those were the worst days. But after a big glass of wine and some stern talks from my friends and family, I would realize that it was only three more weeks (then two; then eventually one) and then he would be back with me again. And our fight would be forgotten, as they always were.

My heels click clack on the pavement as I walk to my destination—a little tavern several blocks away that became our place after I graduated from Hogwarts. It had become our place when our family and friends didn't want us together, and we told them all that we'd broken up. We'd even contemplated actually breaking up, but then, after we'd decided that maybe it was all for the best, we had somehow both managed to find this tavern—a shabby place that neither of us had ever been to but had happened to walk into on a night when we were both feeling low.

It was in that moment, when I had looked up and seen his eyes staring at me from across the room that I knew Scorpius Malfoy and I were meant to be. He is my destiny.

I begin to feel the familiar twist and turn of butterflies in my stomach as I get closer. I start to feel that familiar tingle. I always feel like this right before I'm about to see him. Even when we weren't together, the thought of being in his presence had always sent me into a tailspin. Before I couldn't pinpoint the feeling, but now I know it's the kind of excitement and anticipation that is only reserved for one person—the person you love.

I take a deep breath as I put my hand on the door of the tavern and push. Immediately, my eyes find him. His grey eyes are so intense as he makes a beeline to me from across the room. It's like the moment five months ago when we'd first seen each other here. He has that same look that says he never wants to be apart from me again. My heart seems to swell at the thought.

He stops abruptly in front of me when he makes it to where I am, still by the door. My heart is beating madly, and I want so badly just to reach out and touch him. I need it. I need to feel the heat of his body, the strength of his muscles, the fire that he lights in me. But I don't touch. I wait.

It seems like a million years before he speaks. His eyes travel all around my face, neck, chest, and body, as if he's trying to take it all in and remember why he can never leave again. There are so many emotions flickering in his eyes that I can't possibly decipher them all.

He takes a shuttering breath and steps closer, causing my breath to hitch.

"God, I missed you," he breathes.

Then the world stops. Our mouths crash together as he pulls me close and I wrap my arms tightly around his neck, holding on for dear life. In that moment, as we say hello, I think back. I can't help but remember what got us to this point.

* * *

_Next chapter:_

_Some time earlier, Rose sees the new professor for the first time._


	2. A New Professor

_Chapter rated T for language and mildly suggestive themes._

* * *

**Chapter 2: A New Professor**

_One year and seven months earlier_

I hated mornings. I hated waking up, I hated rolling out of bed, I hated brushing my hair, and I hated breakfast. I didn't like looking at anyone, and I didn't like talking to anyone.

So when my alarm went off to signal the start of the first day of my last year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, I didn't feel excited and refreshed. I didn't feel ready to take on the day. I felt pissed off.

After laying on my back and staring at the canopy of my four-poster bed for five minutes, I finally rolled my eyes, swung my legs over the bed, stretched, and stood up to go to the bathroom. My eyes were barely open when I put on my rectangular, black-framed glasses and padded to the bathroom. When I got in, I saw one of my dormmates, Ainsley Dale, curling her hair in the mirror with her wand.

"Hey, Rose," she said with a glance at me before she went back to doing her hair.

"Hey," I said groggily as I grabbed my toothbrush.

I wasn't really friends with any of my dormmates. I used to be. But that was before. Ever since the beginning of sixth year, everything had been different. I didn't mind it though. Frankly, I preferred it this way. If we weren't friends, then I didn't have to speak with anyone in the mornings. That made it worth it.

A while later, I was marching through the Great Hall toward the Slytherin table to sit next to Albus who was reading the _Daily Prophet_ and eating a banana.

"Don't let Fergie see you doing that. He'll lose his mind," I said as Albus took a particularly large bite.

Albus laughed. "Fergie can lose whatever he wants," Albus said, leaning over and kissing my cheek before going back to the _Prophet_.

I shrugged and reached forward with my fork to pile food onto my plate. "For the record, I like Fergie," I said as I stabbed two sausages.

"That's saying something because you don't like anyone," Albus said, not looking at me.

"Ha ha," I said sarcastically. "He's better for you than Lysander," I said with a mouth full of scrambled eggs.

Albus glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. "How you eat so much and stay so thin is beyond me."

Again, I shrugged. "I don't care about my fucking figure anyway."

"No, not since…" Albus trailed off. I raised my eyebrows. We never talked about _before_. I tilted my head and looked at him. I knew he was trying to pretend like he hadn't said anything.

"Since when?" I goaded.

Albus shrugged.

"Since Hadley?" I suggested innocently.

"I saw him staring at you last night," Albus said hesitantly after a pause. He took a sip of coffee.

I waited a moment before responding. I took a bite of sausage and stared straight ahead. "Probably because we made out on the train," I said simply.

Albus started choking and spluttering on the coffee he was drinking, and I patted his back with a grin, still not looking at him.

Albus coughed before speaking. "What the bloody hell?" He wiped his mouth and shifted on the bench so he could turn and stare at me. I kept looking ahead, fighting a smug smile and losing the battle. "Rose, you hate—I mean _hate_—Hadley. Why would you…?" He shook his head, trailing off.

I shrugged, trying to feign innocence, and out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Albus narrow his eyes.

"What did you do."

It was more of a statement than a question.

The truth was, that I'd planned the entire thing. At the end of fifth year, Hadley Underwood had broken my heart. I'd found out that he cheated on me with some slag who I won't even name, who may or may not currently reside in my dormitory. This event may or may not also be the reason I distanced myself from my dormmates. What do I care anyway? They were all basically useless. Since the break up, I'd been plotting to get the both of them back. So I put myself in Hadley's way. Since after the Christmas holiday last year, I'd done all that I could to keep myself on his radar. He was a Gryffindor so it was relatively easy. I started wearing lower cut shirts, brushing up against him when I could, and swaying my hips when I knew he was walking behind me. For a while I'd thought it wasn't working, but then I'd seen him on the train yesterday, and it was as if all my months of disgusting hard work had paid off.

I hated Hadley, that was true. He'd cheated and I hated him. I would never, ever get back with him. I'm a fucking Weasley. I would never sink so low. But sabotage certainly wasn't beneath me.

So after I'd seen Hadley walk by my compartment on the Hogwarts Express, I'd immediately left mine, telling Albus I would be back in a minute. ("The loo.") Then I'd slammed the compartment loud enough to make Hadley turn. When he turned around, I just shrugged my shoulders with a small smile and turned in the opposite direction.

It had been an unusually hot summer in London. So on the train, I wore a short, floral, sleeveless sundress. When I turned, I felt him follow me. I walked past the compartment that I knew his girlfriend would be in. The slut he cheated on me with. I made sure that she would see me walk by only to see him walk by seconds later. I looked over my shoulder, saw him following me with an arched eyebrow, and I smiled, bit my lip, and booked it down the hallway of the train.

I heard him running after me. _Fucking idiot_, I'd thought to myself. It was like he wanted his girlfriend to find out.

Just like I did.

As soon as I found an empty compartment, I ducked in, turned, and he was all over me.

"_God, you look so good, Rose,"_ Hadley had said, his hand finding my breast. I shivered in disgust, trying not to physically heave over his touch. I'd felt so gross. The thought of him touching me made me want to hurl all over his stupid fucking trainers that I knew he probably spent a fortune on. It was so strange how much my mind had completely changed about Hadley in such a short time.

But I knew what I had to do. So I let him grope me and whisper into my neck about how much he missed me. I wanted to shake my head and roll my eyes. _Funny_, I wanted to say. _You didn't miss me when I wasn't wearing a short skirt._

Luckily—thankfully, Jesus—it was over quickly, because after about a minute, the compartment door slammed open, and the dumb bitch who stole my boyfriend was standing there, red in the face.

And would you fucking believe it? That slag had the nerve to be outraged that the man _who had cheated on me with her_ would have the nerve to be kissing another girl. Dumb broad.

I relayed the story to Albus with a satisfied look on my face, and after I was finished, he clapped quietly, raising his hands in my direction.

"Why Rose Weasley, you _animal_," he said with a proud smile. "I can't believe you were able to orchestrate this entire thing without me. Months you planned this?"

"Oh, yeah," I said, topping off my glass of pumpkin juice. "He thought I was over it all. Please."

Albus was saying something. He was talking about what I'd done to Hadley and The Bitch, but I'd stopped noticing. I stopped noticing because the sexiest man I had ever seen had just strode through the door that the professors came out of to take their seats for breakfast. He had white blonde hair that was messy in the best way possible, he was tall and thin with broad shoulders, and more than anything I wished that he wasn't wearing his robes so I could see what he looked like underneath. He had high cheekbones, a pointed nose, and beautiful blue—or were they gray?—eyes. My heart rate started to increase as I watched him take his seat, and then suddenly he was staring back at me, and my face was flooding with heat.

Albus, who had noticed my distraction, looked over his shoulder.

"Holy shit," Albus said under his breath. He turned back to me. "Who's the hottie?"

I took a deep breath and looked at Albus, forcing myself to tear my eyes away from the beautiful specimen who I wished more than anything was sitting right next to me. I could feel my fingertips tingling.

"New professor?" I said breathily.

"He's so young," Albus said, glancing over his shoulder again. The man had started reading his paper and eating the food that had magically appeared in front of him.

"Looks familiar," I said. I started staring again, but yanked my eyes away when the man glanced up over his paper at me. _Stop staring, you fucking idiot_, I told myself.

"He wasn't at the feast last night," Albus said. "McGonagall would have introduced him."

As if mentioning her name had summoned her out of thin air, McGonagall had appeared in front of us.

"Ms. Weasley," she said. "Your schedule."

And before I had a chance to ask who the man was, McGongall was walking swiftly to the Gryffindor table to give the rest of the Gryffindors their schedules. Most of the other students had filed in, but I stayed with Albus, choosing not to go over and sit with my fellow Gryffindors. Ever since everything had happened with Hadley and The Bitch, it was weird over there.

_Certainly won't be less weird now,_ I thought with a grin as I remembered what I had done to Hadley and his girlfriend.

"So there's something I have to tell you…" Albus said, interrupting my thoughts. I looked at him with narrowed eyes as he looked at his paper, clearly trying to suppress a grin.

"If you tell me that you and Lysander—"

"No, no," Albus said quickly. "Nothing like that."

"Then what?"

He took a deep breath. "So you know how McGonagall's letting us have that concert in a few weeks?"

"Yeah," I said, picking at a corn muffin. "It's the one fucking cool thing she's let us do in the past seven fucking years at this school," I muttered.

Albus chuckled. "True." He paused briefly before he continued. "I got a letter today," he said. He put it in front of me.

"_Dear Mr. Potter_," I mumbled quickly. "_Thank you for your letter and the recording you sent us. We always appreciate_—blah blah, what the fuck is this, Albus?"

"Keep reading," he said, looking down at his plate.

I huffed and kept reading. "_Fresh young talent… Incredible potential… _blah blah…Okay… _We are sure you are aware of a concert coming up at Hogwarts School… Wear the Wolves…_" I went on hurriedly._ "We would like for you and your band to open for Wear the Wolves on Saturday, September 16 at Hogwarts School. _Albus…" My eyes widened and I whipped my head to him. "Is this for real?"

He looked at me and smiled.

"Albus! OH MY GOD!" I jumped off the bench and leaned over to wrap my arms around him. He laughed as I jumped and held him tightly. "Holy shit…" I pulled away from him and looked back at the letter. "_We think you and your band are the perfect opening act that we have been looking for to open up this concert with your fresh sound and immense skill…" _I read quickly and looked down at Albus. "What the fuck, Albus!" I punched him in the arm.

"Ow," he said, laughing and clutching his arm.

"Why didn't you tell me you sent our track to the label?"

He smiled, looking pleased and mildly stunned. "I thought it was a long shot. I never imagined they would let us open at this concert."

"I can't believe you waited this long to tell me!" I said, plopping back down next to him and rereading the letter.

"I just got it this morning."

"And you let me talk about stupid Hadley and that hot new professor forever before you mentioned this. Oh my god…" I covered my mouth as I read it a third time.

"Ron and Hermione are going to flip," I whispered.

"I know, so are my parents," Albus said with a grin.

"Did you tell Ly and Nate?" I asked.

"I just got it this morning," Albus repeated with a grin and a shake of his head.

"God…" I said as I reread it for a fourth time. "Holy fuck…"

"Mr. Potter."

I jumped and looked over my shoulder, and for a moment I forgot about the letter in my hand and the concert. When I saw who was standing before me, my chest immediately heated up as I looked into the eyes of that hot blonde professor who looking down at me and Albus from behind us.

"I have your schedule," he said. He looked at me with an arched eyebrow before looking back at Al. _Great, now he knows you have a fucking potty mouth. _

_Who cares?_ Another voice responded.

Then a third voice perked up. _Gray._

_What?_

_His eyes. They aren't blue. They're gray._

And then I was staring, trying to understand how someone could have such clear, gray eyes—how that was natural for a human being.

Albus took the paper from the man's hand—mildly shaking me from my reverie—but before he could go, Albus said, "Wait!"

The man turned back. His lips were pursed in a slight pout and his eyes—_gray, beautiful_—were boring into Albus.

"Sorry…" Albus said. "But who are you?"

He chuckled a bit, and I got my first glimpse at that smile that was going to make me weak at the knees for the next year of my life. _Christ, he's gorgeous. That should be illegal—bad for the health of all people. _ "Professor Malfoy. New Potions Master and Head of Slytherin House."

"What?" I finally managed to speak. "Where's Slughorn?"

"Retired."

And without another word, Professor Malfoy turned and walked away.

"How come no one told us about any of this shit?"

"They announced it at the feast last night. About Slughorn."

I turned and looked at one of the members of the Slytherin Quidditch team.

"Shut up, Sam," I said before turning back to Albus. "Did you hear anything last night?"

"Of course not," Albus said with a look like I was an idiot. "I don't ever listen to half the shit McGonagall says."

"Well, I know he wasn't here last night," I said, looking at Malfoy, who was at the other end of the hall. "I would have noticed."

"Same here," Albus said, looking with me.

"You lucky bastard," I said, my eyes still on the new Professor. "He's your new Head of House… Jesus." Then something occurred to me. Something delectable. Something that might be able to get my mind off those gray eyes and that smile. "What do you say we haze the new prof?"

"I would say, as always, that you're an evil genius," Albus said, lowering his voice.

I smiled. Usually my forms of hazing would include what I did to Hadley—something to sabotage their reputations or ruin their lives—but this professor was new; he was innocent. So maybe I would just have a little fun. And the thought of seeing a frown on that beautiful face had me biting my lip in anticipation.

"Well, what did you—?" Albus began.

"'Sup playas?"

I immediately got a disgusted look on my face and rolled my eyes. Lysander was going through a phase where he was trying out new catchphrases. Calling everyone "playas" was his current experiment. I know that most of the time he said it around me just to annoy me, but now all of this stupid bullshit was just inherent in the way he talked. It made me sick.

Lysander Scamander was the drummer in our band. He was a Ravenclaw and his family and our families were old friends. Our parents had all gone to school together, other than Ly's dad, who was by far the strangest man I had ever met—and that was saying something because Arthur Weasley was my granddad. Ly and Albus had a history, but for about the tenth time in that history they were currently broken up. And _this time_, Albus assured me—as he always did—it was for good. I hated the two of them together because their fights and breakups were bad for the band—though to be fair, there probably wouldn't be a band if Albus hadn't discovered that Lysander could play the drums. I also hated them together because of the way Ly treated Albus. And Albus was right about what he said earlier—I don't like anyone. And why should I? _People are dicks._ But there are a few people I like in this world and Albus Potter is one of them. So when someone treats him like shit, why shouldn't he get all my loathing?

Determined to make Lysander pay—over and over—for all the shit he'd put Albus through, and determined to make him pay for souring my mood with his stupid catchphrases, I said:

"We're opening for Wear the Wolves at the concert. Albus just got the letter."

"_Rose_," Albus admonished, frowning at me and giving me a look.

"_What_?" Lysander said at the same time, his eyes going wide.

I just shrugged and got up from my spot at the table, and I left them without saying goodbye.

As I walked through the Great Hall and out into the castle, I couldn't help but notice how people seemed to part for me as I walked by. My lips were pursed, and I had one eyebrow raised as if to challenge anyone who would get in my way. These idiots all feared me, and I liked it like that.

Rumor had it that Rose Weasley was the meanest girl in school. It hadn't always been that way. I used to be the nicest, sweetest girl at the school—at least, that's what Albus told me. But heartbreak will make people do crazy things. I didn't think I was any different; I thought I had just decided not to let any of these assholes walk all over me anymore. So what if my appearance had changed slightly so that the boys at the school let their eyes linger a little too long? So what if girls chased after me wanting my approval only to be shot down and told all their flaws? And so what if I spent months planning my ex-boyfriend's demise? That's what happens when you take advantage of the sweetest girl in school. No one ever expected me to fight back. But I did.

"Rose, hi!" A voice said, snapping me out of my thoughts.

A mousy girl with big teeth and big glasses and red hair appeared in front of me as I walked toward the Dungeons where I had my first lesson of the day.

"Hey, Lucy," I said to my cousin and dormmate. I glanced down and saw the gleaming badge on her chest: _Head Girl_. I rolled my eyes and kept walking.

"I didn't see you this morning," Lucy said, pushing up her glasses and falling in step with me. The last thing I wanted on a Monday morning was to walk all the way to class with my stupid, nerdy cousin. It was particularly annoying because her older sister Molly was actually pretty cool. Why did I have to get stuck with the one who was identical in all things to Uncle Percy? _Gross_.

"Yeah, because I didn't want to talk to any of you," I said.

My harsh words obviously didn't faze her because she just kept talking.

"I saw you at the Slytherin table. You looked excited about something!"

"Yeah, we're opening for Wear the Wolves at the concert," I said casually, even though I was still screaming inside at the thought.

"Oh my god, Rosie, that's great!"

I flinched at the use of my nickname. I fucking hated that nickname.

"Thanks," I said shortly.

Then she launched into something—I didn't know what she was saying. She was talking so fast in her squeaky voice that I instantly blocked it out. Really Lucy was harmless, she just got on my last nerve. Of all the people at the school, there were only a few who were immune to my attitude. Albus and Hugo were immune because they knew me, and I was almost never mean to them—at least not _really_. The rest of my cousins pretended they were immune to it, but I could see in their eyes that I freaked them out. But I didn't care. The only other person who was immune to it was Lucy. And that was because she didn't have the social skills or social awareness to understand what I meant when I said things like _"I didn't want to talk to any of you._" Sometimes it annoyed me that she seemed unfazed by it, but other times I just shook my head in disbelief and mild awe. If only I could go through the world as fucking clueless as Lucy Weasley.

"…broke up, and she wouldn't stop talking about it—"

"What who? Who broke up?" I was suddenly jolted out of my thoughts as I caught the tail end of what Lucy was saying.

"Megaera and Hadley," Lucy said. "I said you were lucky you weren't there this morning because that was all we talked about this morning. Well—not me—I didn't talk about it. I just sat on my bed and—"

"Meg and Hadley broke up?"

"Yes," Lucy said with light exasperation. "That's what I said."

"Did she say why?"

"Apparently he isn't over his cheating streak,"—Lucy was also one of the few people who knew the actual reason why Hadley and I broke up. She'd been the only one around when I had found out, and I'd sobbed into her shoulder for an hour—"She found him making out with some girl on the train."

"_Who_? Did she say?"

"No," Lucy said with a frown. "It seemed like she was intentionally leaving that part out. Like… I don't know—like she was trying to protect the girl or something…"

"More like protect herself…" I mumbled under my breath with a satisfied smirk.

Lucy didn't hear what I said, though, and she just shrugged, clearly considering something as she opened the door to the Potions classroom.

He was already there.

I could have sworn that he had still been in the Great Hall when I left, but there he was, sitting at his desk in the front of the room, scribbling on a piece of parchment, his blonde hair looking beautifully disheveled.

As if he read my thoughts, he ran a hand through his hair and looked up.

"Ms. Weasley—or—Ms. Weas_leys_," he said with a nod at both of us.

_How does he already know who we are_? My fingertips were tingling again—it was the same feeling I'd gotten this morning when I'd first seen him. _Hadley never made my fingertips tingle._

"Good morning, Professor," Lucy said, taking a seat. I deliberately sat in the desk behind her, not wanting her to think for a second that we would be sitting by each other. She didn't say a word about it.

I didn't say anything to Malfoy. It was like I couldn't. I wanted to say something bitchy—something clever that he would be thinking about for the rest of the day. But it was like my tongue was glued to the roof of my mouth. Everything I could think to say sounded stupid and contrived in my head. And I was confused. Why were my fingertips tingling? Why—god, _why_—was my heart fluttering and my stomach clenching with that same feeling I got when someone jumped out from behind a wall and scared me? Or when I was about to speak in public? Or when we were about to go on stage?

And why was Malfoy looking at me like that? Like… like he was trying to figure out what I was thinking? _He's probably trying to figure out why you keep staring at him_. I tried to silence the voice in my head, but I couldn't concentrate on controlling the voice. The only thing I could think was how my arms seemed too long for my body, and when the hell were my fingertips going to stop tingling!

"Something wrong, Ms. Weasley?"

Lucy looked up. _He's talking to me, you fool_. Then Lucy looked back at me.

I opened my mouth, but before I could say anything that was going to make me look like a fucking idiot, a group of people came into the classroom, talking animatedly. I exhaled with relief until I saw that Hadley was one of them, and he was with two other seventh year Gryffindors. When he saw me, he immediately stopped talking, but the two other boys kept going.

For one horrifying second, I thought he would take the seat next to me, but instead he walked to the other side of the classroom and sat at a table alone behind the two other guys. He looked back at me one more time before rejoining their conversation. When I looked away from him, I looked back up at the front and noticed that Malfoy was studying me. I immediately averted my eyes. I felt like he had caught me at something. Like he had—

"Hey," Albus said, plopping down his bag and sitting next to me. Lysander took the seat in front of him next to Lucy. Albus glanced around the room.

"I didn't think Hadley would be in this class," Albus said, not quietly. "I always thought he was dumber than a troll."

"He is," I said, my voice hoarse. I cleared my throat when Al gave me a look.

"What's up?" he said, lowering his voice.

"Nothing," I said too quickly, right as the rest of the class filed in and Malfoy stood up in front of the classroom.

"Everyone take your seats," he said sternly. The firmness in his voice caught me off guard. Who knew?

"I'm Professor Scorpius"—_Scorpius_, I thought—"Malfoy. This is N.E.W.T. Potions. If you didn't mean to be in this class," He paused as his eyes swept over us. "Well, it's too late now." There was a spattering of nervous laughter throughout the room. "Today we will be brewing a complicated blood regenerating potion. Turn to page 562 of Advanced Potion Making," he said as he turned to write on the board.

_Check out that ass_, Albus scribbled onto the parchment in front of me. I covered my mouth to withhold a giggle as I began to take notes.

* * *

_Next chapter:_

_"Of course I planned it, you asshole. How could you possibly think I would want anything to do with you after what you put me through." _


	3. What Goes Around

_Chapter rated T for language and mildly suggestive themes._

* * *

**Chapter 3**: **What Goes Around**

"Rose, wait up."

I turned around and saw Hadley coming toward me. Albus gave me a look as if to say _"should I stay?"_ and I nodded to indicate that he could go on ahead.

I didn't want to talk to Hadley. I didn't want to have to nail it into his thick fucking skull—like I _always_ had to do for _everything_—that yesterday had meant absolutely nothing. That _he_ meant absolutely nothing. That it was all a stupid ploy to make his girlfriend see the real person that he was. Because that was the problem with Hadley. Even after he had cheated on me with her, he had been so goddamn _sweet_. He had apologized and taken the blame and told me how perfect I was and how any guy would be _lucky_ to have me. He had tried to twist everything to make it seem like _really_ he was actually doing me a _favor_. I was better off without him, wasn't I? We were no good together, right? I deserved _better_.

At first I had believed it. I had told myself that Hadley was right. It wasn't really his fault because we weren't compatible—we wanted different things.

It had really only taken seeing him snogging _her_ in the hallway one time to convince me that he was a pathetic, cowardly liar, and that if it was the last thing I did, I would make him pay for what he did to me.

Damn right, I deserved better.

"What do you want, Hadley?" I said without looking at him as he rushed up to walk beside me.

He grabbed my elbow and turned me around, making me gasp at the unexpected contact.

"You, baby," he said in a low voice as he took me by the elbow and pulled me into an empty classroom.

Before I could do anything, his mouth was attached to mine and he had me pinned up against the door of the classroom.

I felt bile rise in my throat. It was odd because I could remember back to fifth year when Hadley doing anything like this to me would have been exciting and stimulating. I would have been giggling and pulling him closer. I remembered how kissing him and inhaling his scent had driven me crazy, and now the only affect it was having on me was a nauseating one.

I pushed him off.

"What's wrong?" he said, trying to bury his face in my neck.

"You," I said moving so that I was no longer pinned against the door. He turned around to face me.

"Are you worried about Meg?"

I gasped. "How dare you—don't ever say her name… in my presence," I hissed. Even after a year, even after what I'd done to them, the acknowledgement that Meg was something—this entity—that existed in between me and Hadley was too much. Seeing her in my dorm was hard enough, but him acknowledging that she mattered—that was too much to bear.

"Sorry—what—I… We broke up."

I arched an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Because I… I miss you… I want to be with you."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "You want what you can't have."

"What—"

"You didn't want me a year ago," I said. I tried to make my voice sound low and dangerous so he knew I was serious. I tried to keep the quiver out of my voice that would betray the fact that that pain was still so prevalent. The pain of being tossed aside like I was nothing. "In fact, you didn't want me so fucking much that you cheated on me with—_her_."

"I—That was different."

I laughed loudly and shrilly. I didn't even recognize the sound coming out of my own mouth. "Oh, now that my tits are more noticeable and I snog you on trains—what—you… you think I'm going to _fuck you_?"

His eyes widened noticeably

"I—"

"Because that was why you broke up with me, right? Because I wouldn't open my fucking legs for you like she would?"

"Rose—"

"I would _never_ be with you again. Ever. Not—not if you were the last fucking prick on earth," I said taking a step closer to him. He was taller than me, so I had to look up. When I spoke again, it sounded eerily like a growl. "The only reason that I—put my mouth anywhere near yours last night was so that that _bitch_ would see—see you for the… lowlife that you are."

Hadley look dumbfounded. _Of course he doesn't get it._ _He would never get it. He would never understand me or anything he had done_. He had made me this way. That was the irony of it all. He had given me the taste for blood, and now he was surprised that I was coming back for more.

He opened his mouth and closed it several times before he managed to speak. "You planned that?" he finally said.

"Of course I planned it, you asshole. How could you possibly think I would want anything to do with you after what you put me through."

Hadley ran a hand through his sandy hair and turned around. I watched him with a tilt of my head. God, this felt even better than I had imagined it would. Watching him squirm, realizing that _this time_ he was the fucking fool. Not me. That _this time_ he wasn't going to have his fucking cake and eat it, too. That _this fucking time_ I wouldn't be the one left with nothing. That this time I had taken control of my destiny. It was honestly laughable that he thought I would ever get back with him. I despised him. Didn't he see that?

"How could you do this?" he said, turning back to me, his eyes frantic. "Fuck, Rose!"

"Oh, fuck you, Hadley," I said angrily. "Don't act so fucking surprised. After the shit you did to me—"

"That was over a year ago!"

"And over a year ago, I did nothing to fight for myself. I—I let you make a fucking fool of me." I took another step toward him so that we were only a foot from each other. "You fucked her and made me feel bad for being a—a _virgin_—and now you have the nerve to be upset because you finally got what you fucking deserved." I scoffed. "That's hilarious."

"You're such a bitch," he said quietly. "Everyone in this school hates you."

"Are you serious?" I said, mocking sadness. "What am I going to do?" I put a mocking hand to my chest. "Oh, geez, everyone hates me because I finally decided to stick up for myself. I'm heartbroken."

"You—"

"Have a nice life, Hadley," I said before walking out of the classroom and slamming the door shut behind me.

I rushed out of the room and down the hall, knowing—at least, hoping—he wouldn't follow me and desperate to _breathe_. _What did I just do?_ I felt giddy as I rushed down that corridor.

"Fuck," I breathed when I was down the hall and around the corner. I leaned against the wall and smiled. My heart was racing and my blood was pounding with adrenaline. _That felt amazing. _I had known it would feel good. I had known I would get incredible satisfaction seeing the look on his face after I revealed that he meant nothing to me… But this… _This_… How was it possible that it felt even better than I had ever imagined? Because I had imagined it feeling pretty fucking good. But this… It was better.

After a few more moments of reveling in what I had just done, I pushed myself off the wall, and walked down the corridor, a smile still on my face. As soon as I turned another corner, I ran straight into a tall, firm mass.

"Fuck—"

"Ms. Weasley."

I could feel my neck and chest heat up at the sound of the voice. "I—oh—sorry, Professor. I—"

"Are you all right?"

_Christ_, he was standing so close that I could smell him. He smelled like soap and coffee and cinnamon, and I had to stop myself from closing my eyes and inhaling. What the hell was my problem? _Stupid fingertips!_

"Fine," I said, my voice a gasp. And with a nod, he walked passed me. I had to stop myself from bending over to clutch my knees and catch my breath. My neck felt so hot, and my blood was still pumping from my encounter with Hadley.

After a few more seconds of leaning against the wall and taking a few deep breaths, I took off down the hall at a run.

* * *

"Albus."

My voice was muffled against his chest as he embraced me.

"Albus…"

He held me tighter and laughed. I could feel the rumble in his chest.

"Albus! You're suffocating me!"

He pulled away, his hands gripping my shoulders as he looked at me with a broad grin. "I'm just so happy." He grabbed me and squeezed me again and I laughed with him this time.

When he pulled away, he sighed. "I just can't believe I'll never get to see the look on that stupid idiot's face when you told him that you planned it all." He laughed giddily and I tried to give him a strange look through my smile. I had never seen Albus like this before.

He exhaled and took my hand, leading me to a spot on the couch near the fire in the Slytherin Common Room. We sat down facing each other. Me cross-legged, and him with one leg bent up on the couch and his arm draped across the back.

"Show me again," Albus said with a grin.

"Albus!"

"Show me what he did, please, Rose. I need another good laugh."

I sighed, smiling. This was the fourth time he was making me reenact how Hadley had reacted. The faces I made changed and got more ridiculous every time. I had to admit I liked it. It felt good making fun of Hadley to Albus instead of crying to Albus about him. And it felt really good that Albus was so happy about Hadley's misfortune. This was why Albus was one of the few people I genuinely liked at Hogwarts. He was always on my side.

After a moment, I made the stupidest face I could muster. My eyes were wide and crossed, my mouth was hanging open, and my chin was jutted out.

"You planned that?" I said in a dopey voice.

Albus roared with laughter.

"Will that ever get old?" he said after he caught his breath.

"Oh, no way," I said, grinning so much that it hurt. "I'm going to be riding this wave for months."

Albus laughed again and put his head in his hands for a second before coming up and smiling.

"I really am really happy for you, Rosie."

I hated when my family called me that. But in this moment, nothing could upset me. I smiled wider.

"I still wish you would have let me beat the shit out of him back in fifth year though."

I rolled my eyes. "I swear, when will you and James and Hugo get over that?"

Albus just laughed and shrugged.

"Oh, speaking of James," Albus said excitedly. "I flooed with him today and guess what he said?" I just shrugged, urging him on. "Did you know that Malfoy was here when we were here?"

I frowned. "Wait—what do you mean?"

"I mean that when we were first years and James was a second year, Scorpius Malfoy was a sixth year."

"Holy shit," I murmured. "I can't believe we didn't recognize him."

"I know," Albus said. "I can't believe I didn't. He was captain of the—er—Slytherin Quidditch team his seventh year." He shook his head. "I knew I should have gone out for the team earlier."

"Yeah, maybe then Slytherin would have stood a chance against Gryffindor."

Albus narrowed his eyes at me. "_Anyway_," he said. "He was in my damn house and I didn't even recognize him. You'd think I would have because my fucking hormones were _raging_ second year."

My eyes widened slightly. "I remember," I muttered.

"So," Albus said, ignoring me. "James told me that Slytherin was crazy that year about Quidditch. He said that Malfoy and the captain of the Gryffindor team got in a fight on the middle of the pitch over practice times getting mixed up—like, they were pummeling each other—even though it turned out Slughorn had double booked by accident—but anyway—James said that Slytherin ended up losing and that Malfoy wasn't seen in the castle for two weeks after that. Said he almost failed all his N.E.W.T.s because of it." I rolled my eyes. _Sore losers_. "So I was _thinking_ our prank on Malfoy should have something to do with that loss."

My eyes widened as a grin spread across my face. "Aw, Al, we might make the poor baby cry," I said with mock sympathy.

"Since when have you ever cared about that?" he responded with a smirk.

"Oh, never," I said with a small shrug. "So, what will we do?"

Albus smiled. "I thought you'd never ask."

* * *

A little over an hour later, I was heading up to my dormitory to grab my ukulele and my violin. We were going to have band practice tonight and prepare our set for the concert in less than two weeks. Albus and I had a pretty good plan for what we were going to do to the new professor, and I couldn't wait. It was a harmless prank compared to some of the other shit I'd pulled in the last year, but it would be enough to haze the new prof.

I took the stairs two at a time up to the dormitory and barged in unceremoniously. As soon as I did, I heard someone gasp and cough, and I looked over to find Megaera Bloodworth, sitting on her four-poster, her face red, wet, and splotchy. She looked like she'd been reading something before I came in. Now she was just staring at me.

I didn't say anything to her. I just walked over to the edge of my bed and started digging in my trunk for my things.

"I bet you feel really good about yourself," Meg's hoarse voice came from across the room.

I tensed. My heart started to race. In that moment, I was recalling two things. I was recalling the day I'd found Meg and Hadley together. They'd been sneaking around for weeks. Someone had sent me a note late one Thursday night that said to go to the old classroom next to the statue of the ghoul on the fourth floor. It was written in Hadley's handwriting, so I'd smiled and snuck off, thinking that we would snog in the classroom for a while. It wasn't until I'd gotten to the classroom when I realized it was a note Hadley had sent to Meg, and that someone had snuck it under my covers so I could catch them.

I'd screamed. I remember nearly blacking out from the anger and pain that I felt. I'd immediately started swinging my fists at Hadley—whose pants were halfway down his ass—and it wasn't until he was able to wrap his arms around me from behind to control the blows that I stopped. Then I'd wrenched myself from his arms and ran. I ran so far and for so long—I ran blindly with no sense of where I was going. When I finally reentered the world, I realized that I had run through the castle and into a secret passageway that led to Hogsmeade. When I climbed out of the entrance and into the Hog's Head, Aberforth Dumbledore had swallowed me into his arms as I continued to sob. He'd guided me into a back room without saying a word. He brought warm butterbeer and stoked the fire while I curled up on his couch and cried and cried, trying to sip butterbeer in between my sobs. Eventually my dad had come—obviously Aberforth had flooed him or something—and he'd thanked Aberforth, lifted me into his arms and apparated me back to our house in Godric's Hollow where we lived down the block from my aunt and uncle.

My dad hadn't said anything as he walked me up the stairs of our house and laid me in my bed. I'd fallen asleep almost instantly, but I'd had a restless sleep—the image of Hadley and _her_ imprinted on my mind.

The second thing I was recalling as I felt Meg's eyes on me was waking up one morning two weeks later back in my four-poster at Hogwarts—my father had brought me back after I'd stayed the weekend—and the resolution I'd come to. I'd cried for two straight weeks. I'd become a zombie. I would wake up, cry, get ready while crying, eat breakfast, cry, go to class, and then go back to my dormitory to cry. Meg always left before I woke up and came back after I went to sleep. But that morning I'd woken up and I decided I wouldn't cry anymore. I decided that no one would ever do to me what Hadley and Meg had done to me again. No one would ever make me feel worthless or pathetic or _used_ ever again.

When Meg said those words to me, I could feel the familiar feeling of the rage I'd felt that day and the cool resolve of that morning weeks later.

Despite the resolution I'd made over a year ago and the person I'd become since then, the rational part of my brain came through and spoke to me. _Don't respond. Nothing good will come._

I'd found my ukulele and my violin but I couldn't find my fucking violin bow. I just needed to get it and get out of this room before something terrible happened—terrible for Meg.

I dug ferociously through my trunk when I heard her speak again.

"I'm talking to you."

I blinked slowly and kept digging as I responded. "You don't want to do this, Meg," I said in a low voice.

"Do _what_, exactly?"

I whipped my head to her. "Compare _fault_," I hissed venomously. "You don't want to talk about who _exactly_ wronged who."

"I—"

"I swear to _god_, Megaera, if you say one more fucking word you will regret it."

Finally—_thankfully_—I found my bow. I grabbed my things and went to leave the room.

"Why did you do it?" Meg asked quietly when my hand was on the doorknob. I felt my hand shaking. I could swear that my heart was going to leap out of my chest it was hammering so hard.

I paused. I contemplated not answering—walking away and letting her fester in her own self doubt the way I had done. But I couldn't. I absolutely couldn't just walk away without saying _something_. She had to know. She had to know that the only person she had to blame was herself—for what she'd done to me, for falling for Hadley's stupid bullshit, for believing in something that wasn't real, was never real—she had to know.

I spoke with slight hesitation. "I wanted to ask you that question every day for months," I said. My voice was a growl.

"I—"

"Meg," I warned. She had no idea the hell I would unleash.

But she just wouldn't shut up. _God,_ she just kept talking, and she had no idea that I was on the edge of a cliff—that if she said one more word, I'd lose it. "I did it because I loved Hadley. I'd loved him for years, but he was with you. Everyone knows that you _hate_ Hadley now… Which means that you _only_ did this to get back at me. You don't have feelings for him, you don't want to be with him—you just hate us both."

"You're damn right I hate both of you," I said suddenly—sharply—the volume of my voice rising. _Rose_, I said to myself. _Don't do this._

"We loved each other—"

_Fuck it_, I thought. She asked for it. "You idiot," I said quickly and breathily. I couldn't hold back. Not anymore. I'd been holding back for a year, and she had to know. "He didn't love you—he wanted to _fuck_ you. He was sixteen-years-old and his girlfriend wouldn't put out, so he turned to the easiest slag that he knew, and everyone knew that that happened to be you." Her mouth fell open. "You're a bloody fool if you think Hadley ever loved you. He was waiting until he thought I would be willing to have sex with him"—I scoffed—"he was ready to drop you like you were nothing the moment he thought I'd open my legs like you so. Willingly. Did."

"Oh, my god," Meg whispered, horrified.

"You can blame me all you want. Because I sure as hell blamed you—and him. But your blame and hatred is completely… _irrelevant_ to me. You put me through hell, and for a year you thought you got away with it. You watched me cry myself sick for weeks, and you couldn't even bring yourself to say sorry—" I was horrified when my voice cracked.

Because it was true. After everything she'd put me through, she'd never felt remorse. She watched me suffer and did nothing. She never even thought to fucking apologize.

"Rose…" Meg tried. Her anger and indignation had changed to… sadness… regret?

"Go to hell, Meg," I said after I cleared my throat. "And feel free to take that bastard with you."

As I slammed the door behind me and rushed from Gryffindor tower toward the Room of Requirement where we had our band practice, I felt an array of emotions. I felt pity for Meg who had to go through the same realizations I went through—that Hadley Underwood was nothing but a bastard who would screw anything with legs—and I felt giddy. I couldn't decide which encounter—Meg or Hadley—had felt more liberating.

"What are you grinning about?" Albus asked me when I got into the room. He was tuning his guitar while Lysander was hitting his drumsticks across his set absently.

"I'll tell you later," I said quickly. "Where's Nate?"

Albus just rolled his eyes as if it wasn't worth his time to respond.

"The kid is perpetually late," Lysander said, stopping with his warm up and regarding me. "You look weird," he said as he narrowed his eyes.

I laughed, adrenaline making it sound strange in my ears. "I'm fine," I said as I tapped my wand to my throat to amplify my voice a bit.

A moment later, Nate came tumbling into the room with his keyboard in his arms and his bass strapped around his back. Nathaniel MacMillan was a strangely handsome guy—tall, with dark wavy hair and trendy, horn-rimmed glasses. His family had also known the rest of ours for a long time—since our parents were in school. He'd grown up in the heart of London and all of the trends had worn off on him. When he wasn't in his school robes, he almost always wore cardigans and blazers and expensive jeans and slacks. Albus and I were also pretty fashionable—we went shopping together every time we were home on holiday (Lysander always wore old t-shirts and jeans)—but Nate's style was just different… casually disheveled… carefree, effortless.

He was a Hufflepuff and was always late to everything we did, and it was almost always because of our cousin Lucy. Even though Lucy had frizzy red hair, an insane number of freckles—which was saying something coming from me because I was fucking _covered_ in freckles—she didn't care at all about her appearance, she looked like her dad instead of her pretty, blonde mom, and she could hardly carry on a normal conversation, Nate was enamored with her. If I wasn't so confused by it, I might find it sweet.

"Sorry," Nate said, out of breath. "Lucy needed help with her homework."

I rolled my eyes as Albus said, "Is that what they call it these days," without looking up from his tuning.

"Gross," I muttered as Lysander started a drum rhythm. "Let's go!" I shouted, and we started to play.

* * *

_Next chapter:_

_Rose runs into someone slightly unexpected in the locker rooms._


	4. Close Encounters

_This chapter is rated T for language and suggestive themes._

_Thanks for the reviews so far-please keep letting me know what you think!_

* * *

**Chapter 4**: **Close Encounters**

The first week of classes went by at a snail's pace. I went to class, I practiced with the guys, and I went about my normal business. Hadley and Meg avoided me at all costs, I noticed. I didn't care, and I made no effort to avoid them. In my eyes, they had no one to blame but themselves. _What goes around comes around_, I kept telling myself. I ignored any potential feelings that crept inside me and made me doubt anything I'd done. Doubt would get me nowhere.

Doubt would get me back where I started.

I spent most of my free time blocking any unwelcome thoughts and daydreaming about Professor Malfoy and performing at the concert the following weekend. I was mad with nervous excitement. No one besides the four of us had heard the band play before. Most people knew we had a band, but still no one knew what we were _about_, as Albus liked to say.

On Monday, Hugo—who was the captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team this year—put up a sign up for trials. When I signed up under the chaser spot—a spot I'd had since fourth year—I saw that Hadley had already signed up as well. I tried not to remember old feelings. I didn't want to remember how we'd kissed after our first game together. I didn't want to remember our pre-game rituals. I ignored that bubbly feeling in my stomach—doubt, anxiety, maybe something else—that feeling (feelings?) was stupid and pointless.

Hugo knew Hadley and I had problems. He didn't know what had happened recently, and all last year we had managed to be on the team together without any problems (other than the few times that I sat in the locker room and cried after practice or after a game—seeing him had so often been unbearable, even after my resolution). I didn't plan on telling Hugo anything because I didn't want it to influence his decision. No matter what I felt about Hadley, the guy was a good fucking chaser. And I couldn't give him the satisfaction of making him think he _meant_ anything to me.

So life went on. I'd walked in on Lucy and Nate snogging right before one of our practices. They'd both jumped away from each other like the other was on fire, but I'd just rolled my eyes and said "at least you're fucking on time for once."

I started to get suspicious about Lysander and Albus. Al assured me they weren't back together, but they always arrived either together or conspicuously right around the same time as the other. Lysander always looked lightly flushed, and Albus looked like he was forcing casual. I could have just been imagining things, but my instincts were almost always right when it came to those two idiots.

Professor Malfoy had assigned a two-foot long essay about the benefits and difficulties of the blood replenishing potion we'd worked on the first day of class, and I'd cursed him the entire time, all the while ignoring my betraying fingertips and plotting the prank with Albus.

"Hey, Rosie," I heard.

"Jesus, Hugo," I said without turning around, recognizing his voice. "You know I fucking hate when you call me that."

Hugo chuckled and ruffled my hair. He had had a growth spurt a few summers ago and now he was a good eight inches taller than me. I jerked my head away.

"And I hate when you fucking do that." I said, slapping his hand away.

He didn't say anything as he plopped down next to me on the couch in front of the fireplace. He propped his feet up on the table in front of us so that his long legs were bent in front of him. I was reading for Charms, my legs crossed under me and a book in my lap, but I could feel his eyes on me.

"What?" I said without looking up from my reading.

"We need to talk."

I closed my book slowly and sighed in annoyance—even though that attitude had no affect on my brother. He was one of the few who were immune.

"What about, Hugo?" I said in exasperation.

He rolled his eyes at what he liked to call my "faux toughness." Then he regarded me for a moment.

"I heard through the grapevine that Hadley and… _her…_" He paused, his eyes on me—studying me. "Broke up."

I wanted to hug him for not saying her name. He knew that even her named burned the pit of my stomach until I wanted to retch. Sometimes he was annoying—and he ruffled my goddamn hair all the goddamn time—but other times he was a really incredible brother.

"Yeah, so?"

He waited a few moments before he spoke, as if considering his words carefully. "Are you going to get back together?"

That actually made me laugh. That was the absolute last thing I had expected my brother to say, and it caught me off guard so much that I _had_ to laugh. I laughed long and loud. "Oh, Hugo," I said through my laughter. "Come on, you know me better than that."

He held up his hands in surrender, smiling at me. "Just checking," he said. "Has he tried anything? I keep catching him staring at you."

I flashed an annoyed look at Hugo. "He's just being stupid," I said.

"Rose…" Hugo said, turning serious. _When did my brother grow up? So serious. Sheesh._ "If you don't want me to put him on the team, just say the word… There are a lot of other chasers."

"Don't be stupid," I said, shaking my head, though feeling my heart swell at my brother's offer. "He's the best chaser we've got—"

"Not better than you."

I rolled my eyes, still trying not to let the affect of all my brother's words show. I was supposed to be cultivating an image. Or something. But dammit if his protectiveness didn't feel like warm hands were cupping my heart, whispering sweet nothings until my heart fell head over heels for those bloody words. "Regardless, we need him if we want to win the Cup. I'll be fine."

"You sure? You can tell me—"

"I'm sure."

"Okay," he said, dropping his feet from the table and leaning forward. "I'm gonna go to dinner," he said. "Wanna come with me?"

"I'll meet you down there in a bit," I said. "I want to finish this."

"Okay," he said, standing up and turning to go. "And Rose?"

"Yeah?"

"You know your faux toughness doesn't fool me, right?" Hugo said with a smirk. "I know you appreciate me having your back. And I know you _love_ me." He said the last part in a gushy voice.

I just rolled my eyes with a smile and went back to my reading. "Whatever."

Hugo was almost out of the common room when he turned back and nearly shouted, "Love you, Rosie!"

I growled and turned quickly, chucking a pillow in his direction. It missed, but I still smiled.

* * *

I was walking through the castle, trying to clear my head so I could come up with some new lyrics for a song the band was working on. This was my routine when I wanted to get the creative juices flowing. I would just walk the castle and simultaneously try to clear my head while trying to flood my brain with images and words and memories that would make a good song. It hadn't failed me yet.

And I needed to clear my head. I kept getting flashes of Hadley—_why? Honestly._—and The Bitch. I kept seeing them on _that_ day—the day that had changed everything. And it frustrated me that even a small fraction of the feelings I felt still remained, whether or not they had been deeply suppressed.

I begged my mind to forget them. I would rather see anything than that day.

It also frustrated me that even the faintest hint of remorse occasionally crept up when I thought about what I'd done. _Fuck_. I was just too damn empathetic. _Don't relate, Rose_, I told myself. _Don't you dare put yourself in her shoes._ Because she sure as hell hadn't paid me the same courtesy.

It was just a hint—just the very slightest little spec of dust in the back of my mind. But it was there.

I was walking through the corridors, trying to forget, and somehow I made it onto the grounds. I was wandering around Hagrid's hut, on the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest—_trying to _forget, trying to garner inspiration—and I wandered my way down to the Quidditch pitch. At that point, I felt like I had the beginnings of a new song swarming in my head. Somehow it had managed to push its way past that spec of dust in the back of my mind. I had the idea, but I was trying to string the words together. I made a lap around the pitch and when I passed the locker rooms, which was when I heard the showers running.

I frowned and walked in. As far as I knew, none of the teams had started trials yet. I walked through the locker room, and I saw a pile of clothes with a broom sitting on top. My frown deepened a bit as I walked toward the shower. If I saw some Ravenclaw or Slytherin getting washed up, I knew what I would do—I would steal his or her clothes and make a run for it. Obviously. That would teach anyone who was trying to get a leg up on Gryffindor.

When I got to the shower, though, the sight before me stopped me in my tracks. My eyes started at the bottom. They trailed up toned legs and a firm behind—_good god_. They went up further and got stuck on the muscles that were flexing in the back and shoulders—_are you kidding me_? The arms were bent over the head, running soap through the hair as water cascaded down… _down_. The hair was blonde, the skin was perfect, the body… _The body_. I bit the inside of my mouth to keep from making any sound as I tried to rip my eyes away.

But before I could duck away, the head turned slowly—as if it felt eyes—and for a brief moment, when our eyes met—gray and blue—time seemed to stand still. I'd been caught—_staring_—but I didn't feel ashamed. I couldn't even bring myself to blush. The gray eyes were locked on me, and for a moment, I thought the mouth might smile. The face went from looking surprised to confused to angry. The change in emotion was so quick it was almost comic.

"Ms. Weasley—"

"I—I'm sorry—I didn't know—" Who was I kidding? I wasn't sorry in the least.

Malfoy yanked the towel from where it was laying on a ledge and wrapped it around his hips.

When he turned around, I tried not to let my eyes wander—not with him looking at me. But it was hard. _The body_. The front was even better than the back. His chest and stomach were toned, and with his arms at his sides, I was able to get a better look. Briefly, I imagined what it would be like to run my hands up his arms and squeeze his biceps—then to let my hands drift over to his firm chest, through the bit of light blonde hair that covered it. _Enough_, I told myself.

"I'll go—" I said quickly, tearing my eyes away.

"You stay right where you are," he snapped as he walked out of the communal shower and back into the locker area. He brushed past me and when his arm touched mine, I shivered.

And the shiver confused me. I had never shivered before from a simple touch like that—if it could even be called a touch. It was nothing. The slightest brush of skin on skin. Nothing. And I felt light headed. I wanted to reach out—to grip something to find a center—a balance—so I could try to feel normal again. Because surely feeling this way by just being in someone's vicinity was not normal.

When I turned around, he was buckling his trousers with his back to me. He then yanked his shirt over his head. He turned to face me and I noticed that since he was still wet, his shirt was clinging to his chest, arms, and torso. I stopped myself from swallowing hard and licking my lips.

"I should give you detention," he said, grabbing his broomstick.

I snapped out of my reverie. The shift was jarring—the fire still burning but _changing_. "This locker room is for _students_," I challenged. "You can't punish me for being here."

He narrowed his eyes.

"What are you doing down here."

I tried to think of a quick lie.

"I'm on the Gryffindor team. I wanted to get some practice in before our trials next week."

He regarded me. "What position do you play?"

"Chaser."

"When did you get on the team?"

"Fourth year."

"Who's the captain?"

"Are you quizzing me to see if I'm lying?"

He arched an eyebrow and I thought I saw the corner of his mouth twitch. "Who's the captain?" he repeated. That answered my question.

"My brother. Hugo."

"Isn't he a fifth year?"

"Yeah," I said, as if daring him to saying anything against Hugo.

"Good for him," he muttered, looking at the floor.

"You play?" I asked.

He looked up at me. "I did."

"Were you practicing?" I nodded toward the broom in his hand.

"Why would I be practicing?" he said as if I was the biggest idiot alive. "I'm not on any _team_."

Anger flared inside me. _Dick_. "Yeah, well, it sounded better than 'were you jerking off with your broom down here?'"

His eyes widened. "Detention," he hissed. "Tonight. In my office. Be there at 8 o'clock." And with that, he stormed from the locker room.

As soon as he was gone, I flopped down onto the nearest bench. That bastard had some nerve—talking to me like that after he was practicing in _our_ locker room. Clearly, he wasn't over his past glory days as captain of the Slytherin team, and he was down here trying to relive it all. It was pathetic.

_But the body_.

_Enough._

A bit later, I was walking quickly back to Gryffindor Tower. I hadn't completed my song—I was too distracted by Malfoy. I just kept going back and forth between hearing him snap at me—_"why would I be practicing?"_—and seeing his bare torso glistening with water and feeling that shiver.

It was all very confusing.

I stomped through the common room and toward the staircase that led to my dorm, but a hand on my elbow stopped me.

"Hey—"

"What—oh," I turned. "Hey, Al."

"What's wrong?" he said. "I was following you through the castle—did you not hear me calling you?"

"How did you get in here?" I said.

"I was _following you_," he repeated more slowly.

"Sorry," I said absently. "I was distracted."

"What happened?" he said, lowering his voice. "Hadley?"

"No, stop," I said, looking around the room. "You can't say his name in here. One of these nosey assholes might hear you and then it will get around that I was talking about him and suddenly it'll be that I'm still in love with him, and then—"

"Okay, okay," Albus said, holding up a hand with a confused smile. "I get it. What happened?"

"I got detention."

"Who?"

"Fucking Malfoy."

"What—why?"

"Well, I walked in on him when he was showering in the Quidditch locker rooms."

"You what? Why was he—wait… did you see him naked?" Albus lowered his voice again.

I bit the corner of my lower lip as I smiled.

"You sa—" Albus gasped out, unable to finish his sentence. He raised an eyebrow. "How was it?"

I closed my eyes and shook my head. "Better than you would fucking believe."

"Holy shit," Albus breathed, breaking into a grin. Then he frowned. "But wait, why would he give you detention for that? It's not your fault he's hanging out in our locker rooms."

"Tell me about it," I said, the image of Malfoy's naked body leaving temporarily. "Well, I may have said something…"

"What?"

I told him about the exchange. Albus rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Bloody typical," he said.

"I don't—"

"So you won't be able to come to practice tonight?"

I shrugged apologetically. "I suppose not."

"Can't you just stay out of trouble for the next few days?"

I pouted. "Yes."

"This is important, Rose."

"Albus, I know."

"Fine, just get your shit, we're going to dinner."

I pouted for the rest of the evening.

* * *

_Next chapter:_

_Detentions, detentions._


	5. A Dream Deferred

_This chapter is rated T for language._

* * *

_What happens to a dream deferred?_

_Does it dry up  
__Like a raisin in the sun?  
__Or fester like a sore—  
__And then run?  
__Does it stink like rotten meat?  
__Or crust and sugar over—  
__Like a syrupy sweet?_

_Maybe it just sags like a heavy load._

_Or does it explode?_

—_Langston Hughes_

* * *

**Chapter 5**: **Dream Deferred**

"Ms. Weasley, sit."

I looked up at Professor Malfoy as I walked into the Potions classroom. He was gesturing toward a table that had several cauldrons set up with a several trays of glass phials lined up in front of them.

"What—"

"The first thing you'll be doing is pouring the contents of all of these cauldrons into these phials. Then you will stopper them, label them, and reshelve them in my stores when you're finished. After that, we'll see how much time we have left."

I fought the urge to roll my eyes. This was going to be the most mundane detention of all time.

I set down my bag and, with a sigh, got to work carefully pouring the potions into the phials while Malfoy sat at the front of the room. Occasionally, I could feel his eyes on me, but I refused to look at him. I was trying to hate him, and it was hard when I got distracted by how good he looked.

We worked in silence for a while. I imagined he was grading essays while I filled the phials one by one. After a while, I got bored with my task so I decided to make conversation.

"What were you doing in the showers anyway?"

He glanced up at me. "Showering," he said simply before going back to his work.

"I mean, what were you doing on the pitch?"

"Some drills," he said.

"Drills? Sounds like practice."

He looked up at me and arched an eyebrow. My fingertips started to tingle. He pointed his quill at the cauldrons. "Worry about that."

"This is boring," I said. "It doesn't require any thinking."

"It's not supposed to be stimulating. It's detention," he said without looking up. A bit of silence passed.

"Why were you running drills?"

He looked up at me again. He set down his quill. My heart rate sped up. "Ms. Weasley, I was running some drills because that is how I stay in shape. It also helps me clear my head. And I enjoy Quidditch. Now if you would kindly go back to filling those phials, I would appreciate it."

"I never stopped filling them," I said under my breath.

"Ms. Weasley," he warned.

I filled up five more phials before I spoke again.

"What made you want to come back and teach at Hogwarts?"

He sighed but did not respond.

"There's no point in just sitting here in silence!" I said in exasperation.

"I'm trying to work."

"On what?" I tried.

"I'm grading some essays from the first years—"

"Oh, that's simple. They're all idiots. Give them all T's and move on."

Malfoy laughed to himself. He looked up at me slowly.

"What would you have done if Slughorn had followed that same rubric when you were a first year?" he asked with a smirk.

"I would have told my mother. I wouldn't stand for it. Neither would she."

He shook his head and went back to his work. After a few moments, he said, "I always wanted to be a professor." I frowned in confusion at first until I realized he was answering my earlier question. I tried not to smile. "I used to hold lectures for my stuffed animals when I was a kid. My father said it was because I liked to talk too much."

I looked up at him and smiled. He glanced up at me with a small smile before going back to his work.

"I want to be a musician," I said. He looked up at me and I shrugged.

"I can't imagine your parents are happy about that."

"Oh, my parents think I want to be a Healer."

Malfoy chuckled. "What do you play?"

"Well, I'm in a band with my cousin and two of our friends. I'm lead vocals and I play ukulele and violin."

He raised his eyebrows. "I'm impressed." And he truly did look impressed, which for some reason made my heart swell. "What are you called?"

"Founders Four," I said. He tilted his head in question. "Each of us is from a different house. I'm Gryffindor, my cousin Albus is Slytherin, our drummer is a Ravenclaw, and our bass and keyboard player is in Hufflepuff."

"Clever," he said with a smile.

I couldn't tell if he was being snide or not, so I chose not to comment. I promised Albus that I wouldn't get into any more trouble for the next few days.

We fell into silence again. I filled what seemed like a million phials. The more I filled, the more it seemed like the number of phials left to fill multiplied exponentially. Malfoy sat in silence, his brow furrowed as he worked on grading the assignments from his first years. I noticed that he kept running his hand through his hair. At one point, it was sticking up in a few different directions, and I giggled.

He looked up. "Something the matter?" I just shook my head and went back to my task.

While I worked, I started thinking about the new song. I felt like the lyrics were close to coming together in my head. I glanced up at Malfoy for a moment so I could watch him. Just for a moment. He really was just so good looking. Then, discreetly, I pulled out a piece of spare parchment from my pocket and a pencil and began to scribble quickly. Before Malfoy could notice what I was doing, I shoved the paper and pencil into the back pocket of my jeans and continued filling.

Finally, I finished filling, and I set to labeling each one and storing them into the cabinets. I felt Malfoy's eyes on me, but I didn't react other than the slight flutter I felt in my chest. I just kept at my work. _That ought to make him happy_.

After what felt like an eternity, the cauldrons were empty and all of the phials were stored. Malfoy looked up at me.

"You may go, Ms. Weasley."

I turned to go and when I was almost out the door he said, "And Ms. Weasley?" I turned back. "In the future, watch your mouth." I grinned, and to my great surprise, he did, too.

As soon as I was out the door, I booked it down the hall. I ran through the castle and when I finally made it up to my dormitory and rushed into the bathroom to get ready for bed, I looked at myself in the mirror and had a shocking revelation.

I had a crush on the new professor.

* * *

The next day, Albus and I were walking to potions together as I regaled him about my detention from the previous night.

"I don't care about this," Albus interrupted me. I punched him in the arm. "Sorry!" He said, rubbing it. "I just care more about what happened when you saw him naked."

I rolled my eyes and pushed my way into the classroom, where Malfoy was already sitting there waiting. When I walked toward my table, I looked up and found that his eyes were on me. I smiled. He gave me the faintest smile in return.

As soon as everyone arrived, Malfoy launched into the lecture about the potion we would be working on this week. We were about to begin brewing when a rattling noise started to come from the area around Malfoy's desk at the front of the room. Malfoy looked over his shoulder. The rattling stopped. He frowned and looked back at us.

"Okay. Now. Let's all—"

The rattling started again. Malfoy looked out at all of us and then went to his desk. He examined it before he pulled open the top drawer. He then pulled out the offending item. The moment Albus and I saw it, we looked at each other frantically—both of us recognizing it.

"Professor—" I tried to warn him but it was too late.

Malfoy was stumbling backward, clutching his eye, as he dropped the telescope that had just punched him in the face. When he moved his hand, a dark purple circle was already beginning to form. I couldn't help it. I giggled.

"Ms. Weasley," Malfoy snapped. I looked at him and he glared at me. "Detention, this Saturday night at 8 o'clock."

Albus grabbed my leg and Lysander whipped his head around, looking terrified.

"Professor, I didn't—the concert is this weekend."

"Looks like you'll be missing it then. Now all of you, get to work!" he shouted before sweeping out of the room and into his office.

"Rose…" Albus whispered.

"You have to do something, Rose."

"I know."

After a moment, I stood up, steeled myself, walked to Malfoy's office door, and knocked.

* * *

It hadn't worked.

No matter what I said, Malfoy wouldn't hear it. He had recognized the punching telescope as a Weasley product, and he was convinced that I had put it there last night before or after my detention. He wouldn't see reason.

"_How—" I urged. "How could I have put it in there?"_

But he didn't listen.

Now, I was sitting in McGonagall's office where I was begging her to make Malfoy reconsider. I'd serve detention any other night. _Any night_ but Saturday night.

"Professor—"

"I don't know what I can do, Weasley."

"_Please_," I begged. "Just talk to him. I didn't put that telescope there. I swear."

"I can't—"

"Professor, you know me. You _know_ that if I had put that there, I would own up to it. When you accuse me of something, do I _ever_ deny it? You know I don't. I'll serve detention any other night—even though I didn't do this, I will serve detention. But just not Saturday. It's the concert, Professor. Our band is opening. Please."

She frowned, considering me.

"All right, Ms. Weasley," she said with a sigh. "I'll talk to him."

"Thank you—_thank you_—"

"But if he says he won't change it, that's the end of it. I respect the authority of my teachers."

"I know. Thank you."

* * *

I was almost catatonic.

I was lying on my back in front of the lake, listening to the giant squid and wishing that class today had been a dream.

This was all I had wanted. All the years of my life after I discovered Quidditch and magic, dragons and werewolves, I still just wanted music above all else. I wanted to be a musician, but Ron and Hermione didn't know. If I could, I would drop out of school, convince the guys to follow suit, and we would hit the road—living out of our suitcases and touring the country. It was my dream. My one, solid, constant dream.

During my darkest days after the break up with Hadley, playing with the band had been the one thing that always got me through. It gave me joy like almost nothing else could.

I remembered that first time I had played after the break up. I'd been a recluse for almost two weeks—hardly going to class, not speaking to anyone, not doing _anything_—not living. But one day, Albus had managed to drag me into the Room of Requirement where Nate and Lysander were waiting for us, and without saying a word, they started to play. For a while, I had just sagged against the door, listening, but not participating, not wanting to be a part of anything ever again. But then… Something had just clicked. Albus had looked at me, something had clicked, and I walked over and started singing. That was when I knew that this band was the best thing that had ever happened to me.

And now it was all in jeopardy.

Malfoy would see—wouldn't he? He _had_ to see that I couldn't be the only person who could have put the Weasley product into his drawer. Weasley products—although _technically_ banned—were very popular at school. He was the new professor; it was only natural that people would want to haze him. It was harmless. Even if I _had_ done it, I would be annoyed to be getting detention, but I hadn't. Albus and I had had something else in mind entirely for the newbie. It had been dumb. We were just going to post pictures of him in his old Slytherin Quidditch uniform around the school. Something silly and harmless.

Now I wished I had put that fucking telescope in his desk.

You know, actually, I wished that it had been _my_ fist punching him in the eye.

I sighed and sat up, staring out at the lake, bending my knees and wrapping my arms around them. I rested my chin on my knee as I watched the giant squid. That stupid fucking squid. So light—so carefree—nothing in the world to concern him except for playing in that stupid lake and harassing those monstrous mermaids.

After a while of watching the squid and trying to clear my head and not think of the worst, I felt an eerie sensation. It started at the base of my spine and tingled its way all the way to the back of my neck. It was a familiar sensation. Like someone was watching me. I turned my head to look over my shoulder, but there was no one around. I frowned and turned back to occupying my focus on the squid.

I never noticed the tall, lean figure with a shock of white blond hair standing a ways off, watching me from a window high up in the castle.

* * *

A few hours later, I was sitting in the Great Hall at the Slytherin table with Albus while we ate dinner together like we often did.

I was quietly singing the tune of my new song to Albus—I'd finished it the night before after my detention—when a voice spoke behind us.

"Ms. Weasley."

"Hi, professor," I said to McGonagall.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Weasley—"

"Professor—"

"You will serve your detention with Professor Malfoy this Saturday in his office at 8 o'clock."

"Professor, _please_—"

"I tried, Ms. Weasley." I could see the pity in her eyes. I clenched my jaw and felt anger course through me.

I glanced up at the staff table. Malfoy was there, but I could tell he was avoiding my gaze.

"Ms. Weasley," McGongall said before she left. "Consider this a lesson. You've been cruel to everyone around you for over a year." I looked up at her, appalled that she was saying this. "Just consider this a lesson."

As she walked away, I gaped at her.

I could hear Albus saying something to me, but I wasn't listening.

They didn't get it. McGonagall and Malfoy—they didn't understand what they had just done.

They had just taken my one shot—the band's _one shot_—away.

They had stolen my dream.

* * *

_Next chapter:_

_"My eyes fluttered down to his mouth, and unconsciously, I licked my lips."_


	6. A Man Named Merlin

_Happy Thursday morning, all! Thanks so much to all that have reviewed so far. Please please please keep letting me know what you think! The next chapter will be short, and it will be up fairly quickly, never fear!_

_This chapter is rated T for language and mildly suggestive themes._

* * *

**Chapter 6**: **A Man Named Merlin**

I still couldn't believe it.

It was the day of the concert. Albus, Lysander, and Nate were practicing in the Room of Requirement. They had insisted that I come and practice with them, but I told them it was pointless. They would need to prepare the songs without me.

So instead of practicing with my band, I was sitting on my four-poster, my legs crossed, staring at the dress that was hanging down from the canopy. I had hung it there last week after my mom had sent it. It was a short, tight, sparkly, black shimmering dress, sleeveless with thick black straps, but the "V" in the front and in the back dipped dangerously low. My mother had insisted that it was too revealing, but I told her it was a concert—everyone would be dressed like this.

In my mind, though, I'd hoped that I would stand out—make people whisper as I walked in the room. I wanted people to look at me and notice me. I wanted people to see me. I'd gone years hiding in the shadows, but no more.

Now, my dress was hanging on my four-poster, looking lonesome and forgotten—it was such a sad, pathetic metaphor for my life.

The worst part was that everyone around me seemed smug. Other than Lucy, Albus, Nate, and Lysander, I could sense that everyone felt like I'd gotten what I deserved. Meg had been more cheerful around the dormitory for the last few days, and every time I saw Hadley, he was laughing hysterically about something. The word had gotten around that I would be missing my band opening for the concert, and I didn't know if I was paranoid or if everyone was pleased about my downfall.

I was sitting on my bed, plotting my revenge against Malfoy, when Lucy walked in.

"Hey," she said.

I didn't say anything.

"Albus is downstairs. He's looking for you."

I checked my watch. They should have still been practicing. Without saying anything to Lucy, I walked down toward the common room, cursing the antiquated spells that stopped men from coming into our rooms. _Albus doesn't even fucking like girls_.

Albus was standing at the foot of the stairs patiently. Wordlessly, I walked passed him and sat on the couch in front of the fire. He came over and sat next to me.

"This sucks," he said.

"I know."

A few moments of silence passed.

"So the guys and I were talking…" Albus started. I looked at him. He seemed fidgety, nervous. "We… we decided not to open for Wear the Wolves."

I whipped my head to face him. "What?"

"We need you, Rose. We—"

"What are you talking about? You—"

"We can't. We—"

"No, you shut the fuck up, Albus. If you guys don't open," I clenched my jaw and spoke through my teeth. "I'll never forgive you."

"Rose, we need you. What are we going to do? We need the uke, and we need your violin, and we need your vocals. We just… We need _you_. This was supposed to be for all of us—our _chance_—"

"And you aren't going to waste that chance just because I'm not there. You'll just have to do the songs that don't require the ukulele or the violin. We have tons of songs, Al. Listen to me." I turned to face him on the couch. "Opportunities like this don't come along often. We get one shot—one _fucking_ shot—and you aren't going to throw it away just because I'm not there. You're going to go out there and play the—the best goddamn set we've ever played. Because—because this shit is—it doesn't just come around. There aren't going to be other chances—other concerts. This is it. You aren't going to toss it away out of some displaced sense of fucking _loyalty_ to me. Fuck that."

Albus looked at me, his jaw clenched. "But who will sing?" he said desperately. "Lysander and Nate—"

"You have to sing, Al."

"I can't. I—"

"You're the only one who can. I know you get scared, but it's our only hope. You have to sing."

"What about your new song? It's so good. You should be singing it."

"I'll have tons of opportunities to sing it."

"None like this."

And he was right. Silence fell over us as we both sat deep in thought, each contemplating the position we were in. There would never be another chance like this—I was certain of that. And I wanted to sing my song—the song I had finished after my detention with Malfoy a few days ago. It didn't matter if it was good—they had to sing it anyway, without me.

"If you don't play this set, I'll never forgive you, Albus," I said quietly, resolved. "And you'll never forgive yourself."

* * *

A few hours later, I was walking into my detention with Malfoy. Of course, he was sitting at his desk—waiting, just waiting for me to come and sit in front of him and serve this undeserved detention while my band got their one shot at actual, real success.

"Ms. Weasley," he said when I walked in. I didn't say anything back. There was nothing to say. "Come this way," he said, gesturing toward the closets that held all the potions materials. I followed wordlessly.

"So for your detention tonight, you'll be reorganizing and restocking the potions cabinets. They're completely abysmal." He glanced at me, expecting me to—what?—agree, commiserate? I ignored him and stared forward at the shelves in front of me. He continued. "I've written out where I want everything on this parchment." He gestured toward a parchment lying on a nearby table. It was an outline of the cabinet with markers for what things he wanted to go where. "You can go off of that. It's fairly straightforward. Any questions?"

I didn't even look at him. I just walked over and grabbed the parchment so I could start working.

I checked my watching. 8:03. The band was supposed to go on at 8:30. Maybe if Malfoy let me out at a decent time, I might be able to catch the tail end of the set. I couldn't get my hopes up for that, though.

I worked mindlessly, fighting back tears. I was livid at Malfoy. Being in the same room with him was making me physically ill—my stomach churning. The hatred I felt for him was overwhelming. It was burning inside me, making my hands shake slightly and my head swim. I tried to blink slowly to clear my head. It didn't work.

He had taken my dream from me—the dream I had confided to him—and he didn't even seem to care, to notice. I should have been with my band—I should have been preparing to go on, and I tried to think of our songs—the songs they would sing tonight—but all I could hear was stupid McGonagall's voice in my head.

"_Consider this a lesson._"

"_You've been cruel to everyone around you for over a year."_

It wasn't cruel. What I had done over the last year hadn't been _cruel_. I just stopped letting everyone treat me like a fucking rug. What kind of lesson was this? For once, I had done nothing wrong, and I was being punished for it. For once, I had decided to stop letting people walk all over me, and now this was some kind of karmic _lesson_.

_Let people treat you like shit, Rose. It's the only way you'll get what you want. That's the only way you'll be happy._ Is that what the universe was trying to tell me?

Who cares if I dyed Brenda Ackerman's hair green and it was stuck like that for a month? Brenda had laughed at me for not paying attention and then getting an answer wrong in Charms. And so what if I put that powder in Harriet Bones's bed that made her break out with disgusting boils. Harry had told people about a poem I had written about Hadley a few weeks previous during our break up. She'd humiliated me. And what does it matter if I got Meg and Hadley back and broke them up? They obviously deserved that.

So what kind of message was the universe sending? You stick up for yourself and you get punished. You do nothing wrong and you get punished?

"_Consider this a lesson."_

My hands were trembling as I worked, and I could feel the backs of my eyes burning. My chin quivered and I took a deep breath.

I couldn't cry. I couldn't think about the fact that the thing I'd been dreaming about for years would happen tonight—my band would be performing as an opening act for a famous band. We had the potential to have our big break and I wouldn't be a part of it. But I wouldn't cry.

But oh, my hands were shaking, and my chest was carrying such a heavy weight like a large stone had settled right on my sternum. I could feel Malfoy's eyes on me as I worked throughout the detention. I sensed him watching my every move, as if I might combust at any minute.

If I did, he would have no one to blame but himself. He was the reason I was on the verge of tears—the tears of missed opportunity. Tears of hatred and anger. He was the reason that I was missing out on the dream I'd had for almost as long as I could remember, and he was the reason that my chest felt like it would collapse under the pressure. But I hated him even more because he was the reason my fingertips had been tingling for weeks. He'd given me inspiration for my new song, and he'd smiled at me. The day he'd given me this detention—_right_ before—he had smiled, and I _hated_ him for that.

I checked my watch. 8:37. They would be on by now. They were probably playing "Magic Woe," which was the song we'd agreed we'd start with. People were probably cheering—screaming—for them. Everyone was probably awed and impressed. No one had heard us before and they would be shocked to find that we actually had talent. I thought of that, and then, for some insane reason, I thought of my little black dress, all alone hanging on my bed.

I couldn't think about any of that. I couldn't think about my lonely dress. I couldn't think about my song.

Minute after minute passed slowly as I continued to reorganize the shelves. I refused to check my watch again—refused to speculate about which song they were playing. But it was so hard. I saw Albus—nervous as hell but singing the songs that he knew so well. I saw Lysander, sweating profusely like he always did when he got too into his drums. I could see Nate up there—looking more stylish than ever. A tan blazer, expensive jeans. Then, for some reason, I imagined Lucy—standing off to the side, looking indifferent and ethereal as she always did because she lacked all social skills. Nate would be playing with so much passion, probably thinking about her when he played the keyboard on our ballads. But Lucy would just be standing there, looking oblivious and sipping punch, smiling weakly.

Then, bizarrely, I smiled. I felt mildly giddy imagining Lucy, and I had no idea why. It was an absurd feeling to have in this moment, but as soon as that feeling was there, it was gone. And I felt the overwhelming urge to cry. I belonged with my people. My hands shook and my heart raced, and suddenly, I heard glass break.

I looked down, snapping out of my trance, and saw shards of glass on the floor. The tears came instantaneously. I bent down to try and sweep up the glass with my hands—not thinking—and I was a little too rough and I cut my hand. I cried out, and suddenly I was sobbing. My hand was bleeding, and I was on my knees in front of one of the supply cabinets, and I was crying. I thought I heard someone saying my name, but I couldn't focus on anything but crying harder than I ever had in my life.

Then, I felt strong arms around my shoulders. In some rational part of my brain, I knew it was Malfoy, but I wasn't feeling rational. I buried my head into his chest and wept for what felt like an eternity.

Eventually, I was able to catch my breath. Eventually, I was able to wipe my tears away and come back to reality. Eventually, there were no more tears left.

That was when I realized that I was being held by Scorpius Malfoy. He smelled good and he was warm. I hiccupped, and looked up at him as he was looking down at me. I noticed a wet spot on his chest and I touched it with my finger, lightly.

"Sorry," I mumbled. He didn't say anything. He was looking at me with so many emotions in his gray eyes. He was on the floor with me, on his knees, holding me closely, looking down at me with concern and confusion and something else. I was looking at him, and my arms were trembling from my shoulder blades down to the tips of my fingers—always, the damn fingertips. He was holding me. And he felt so good. And he smelled like heaven. But I hated him. But _god_ he smelled so good.

His hand moved up so that he was cupping my face, looking down at me. My face burned and tingled where he touched me, and I hiccupped again as I felt a tear begin to escape. He reached up and brushed it away with his thumb.

I wanted to kiss him.

He was my professor and I hated him and I longed to punish him for what he'd done to me in the worst way possible, but I wanted to kiss him. No, I needed to kiss him. His lips looked so soft, and he was being so tender, and he smelled so good, and his arms felt amazing around me. My heart was pounding, and the butterflies were flying so frantically in my stomach that I felt mildly nauseous.

My eyes fluttered down to his mouth, and unconsciously, I licked my lips.

And then he leaned in and time stopped.

I couldn't decide—did he smell better or taste better? Because he tasted like the most amazing thing in the world. It was the sweetest kiss. His lips were gentle but slightly urgent, and he used his hand to tip my head back. I sighed into the kiss, and then his lips were nudging mine apart, and I acquiesced, allowing him to go deeper—wanting it more than anything.

I heard a quiet sound from his throat that was unmistakably a growl. And then everything changed.

My hands dove into his hair and I pulled him closer, and his hands moved to my hips and pulled me up, gripping me tightly and making a quiet noise of approval as he did so. I was straddling him, and his tongue was twining with mine, and I couldn't think. It all felt too good. It was sweet. It was intense. It was forbidden. I whimpered.

It was like that sound had woken him up. He pulled away, glanced down at my swollen lips, and then lightly pushed me off.

I moved back and sat against the cabinet. He leaned back against the table behind him, his knees bent in front of him. I noticed that the glass was gone—he must have vanished it.

I wanted him to say something. I needed him to break the silence because my stupid fucking fingertips were tingling, and if I focused on that or on his lips, I would want to kiss him again. And for some reason, I felt like I shouldn't. _What the hell just happened?_

"I shouldn't have done that," he said after an eternity.

_Fuck_. I didn't say anything. I looked down at my hands that were resting in my lap.

"But I want to do it again."

I looked up at him. He was staring at me. His eyes kept flickering down to my mouth. My breath caught in my throat.

"No one's stopping you," I managed to whisper. I amazed myself with my ability to speak.

"Hmm," he said. "No, that's true." The faintest smile graced his mouth. "But you should go."

"What?"

"To your concert. It's"—he checked his watch—"8:58. You might be able to see the end of your band."

"Really?" My face lit up.

He nodded.

"Oh my god," I scrambled to my feet as he stood up elegantly. "Thank you," I said. I moved toward him. I wanted to embrace him, but after what had just happened, I didn't know if I should. "Thank you," I said again.

He smiled. "Go," he said quietly. And with one last glance at him, I ran from the room.

* * *

"This song is for our bandmate, Rose. She wrote this song this week, but unfortunately, she couldn't be here tonight. So—"

"I'm here!"

I pushed through the crowd and toward the stage. Silence fell over the crowd.

"Rose?" Albus put a hand over his eyes to try and see out into the crowd over the lights. I waved. Albus gaped. "Rose!"

"Hi," I said casually as Nate pulled me on stage. All three of my bandmates looked completely dumbfounded. I grinned and turned around. "Hey everybody!" I waved at the crowd, who all cheered. "Do you all want to hear one more song?" They cheered again, and I felt adrenaline coursing through me and I had a strong urge to giggle. _This is fucking crazy_. I turned to look at my bandmates who were beaming at me. "Let's give them what they want, guys," I said. "One, two, three, four."

_There was a man  
__Called Merlin  
__He was known for his magic  
__But not for his sin  
__People remember  
__That he could make some from none  
__But they forget  
__All he wanted was to run_

_Merlin Merlin  
__Put me up high  
__Merlin Merlin  
__Higher than the stars in the sky  
__Merlin Merlin  
__Make me wonder  
__But oh Merlin  
__Don't drag me under_

_Merlin could do what most of the world  
__Could only dream to do  
__But he was just a man  
__Who only wanted you  
__He dreamed you would come back  
__For so long  
__But then he found another  
__Who made him feel so wrong_

_Merlin Merlin  
__Put me up high  
__Merlin Merlin  
__Higher than the stars in the sky  
__Merlin Merlin  
__Make me wonder  
__But oh Merlin  
__Don't drag me under_

_He found that one  
__Who made him feel so wrong  
__But his fingertips would tingle  
__When that one came along.  
__He found that one  
__Who made him feel so wrong  
__But his fingertips would tingle  
__When that one came along_

_It was like magic  
__It was like magic  
__It was like magic  
__It was magic._

* * *

_Next chapter: Malfoy second guesses the kiss. _


	7. The Magic

_A huge thanks to all those who are reviewing and/or enjoying this story! This is a short chapter, but the next one will be up fairly quickly. Let me know what you think!_

_This chapter is rated T for language and mildly suggestive themes._

* * *

**Chapter 7: The Magic**

I stayed for the rest of the concert. It was incredible. Albus, Lysander, Nate, Lucy, and I all danced to the music together, swaying from side to side, rocking our heads, and enjoying each other's company. In the midst of the concert, I forgot about missing the set; I forgot about how mad at the world I was supposed to be—at Hadley, at Meg, at McGongall, at Malfoy. I was too swept up in everything—the music, the rush of being up there—if only for one song. I forgot about all my woes, but there was one thought that kept creeping up on me.

That kiss.

It had been absolutely fucking perfect. If he hadn't told me to come to the concert, I'm certain I would have launched myself at him, kissed him again, and never stopped.

It was with that thought that I snuck down to the dungeons after the concert. I hadn't really thought about it before I decided to do it, but I knew I had to. I wanted—needed—to see Malfoy again, if only to confirm that what had happened earlier had been real and not in my imagination.

I told Albus I had forgotten something in Malfoy's office, and he didn't question it—he was still giddy and riding the wave from the concert. I didn't blame him. I would probably be riding that wave for months. Years, even. We parted ways when he went to his dorm and I went toward the Potions classroom. I didn't know where the professors normally slept; I just hoped that Malfoy would still be in his office. I checked my watch.

10:47.

There was a chance. A slim one.

I opened the door to the Potions classroom slowly. It was dark and I couldn't see anything. My heart was pounding and of _course_, my fingertips were tingling. I was so incredibly nervous and I wasn't sure why. I didn't know what I expected to happen or what I expected Malfoy would do or say. I had no idea what I _wanted_ or expected to happen. I was doing all of this without thinking, not wanting to let my thoughts or my nerves get the best of me.

I pulled my wand out of my back pocket.

"Lumos," I whispered. The cabinets were all closed—they'd been open when I left. The room looked immaculate. You'd never know that less than two hours ago something… unexpected—forbidden—had happened here.

I walked toward the back of the classroom where Malfoy's office was. If he was in his office, surely he would come out—the pounding of my heart was so loud that he had to hear it—he had to be suspicious. _What's that noise?_ He would think. _What's that pounding racket?_

I got to the back, and to my—relief, terror?—a sliver of light was coming from under the door.

I took a deep breath. I closed my eyes. And before I could talk myself out of it, I reached forward. I paused when my fist was right by the door. Then—_fuck it_—I knocked.

I heard some rustling, and then the door was open.

And there he was. As always, he was looking beautiful. There was a crease of confusion in his beautiful brow that I wanted to run my thumb across, and his eyes were searching as he searched the darkness. Then he recognized me. I extinguished my wand light and looked up at him. Without saying anything, he reached out, put a hand on my wrist, and pulled me inside.

He closed the door to the office behind me. I leaned against it. He was standing so close—there was barely a foot between us. I could smell him. How did he smell so good? I expected him to kiss me. His eyes kept flickering between my mouth and my eyes. It felt like time was going by at a snail's pace, but surely not more than a few seconds had passed. He moved forward a bit, and I tilted my head up—expectant, waiting.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

My breath hitched. I studied him. "I don't know," I confessed.

He took another small step forward. We were almost touching. "How was the concert?" he asked, his voice low.

"Wonderful," I said. I was frustrated at the quiver in my voice. "I made it for the last song of my band's set."

"I know," he said.

"You know?"

"I saw you." My long auburn hair was pulled to one side, and he reached forward and touched a lock of it.

"You saw?"

He nodded.

"Did you like it?" I breathed. He was so close—so dangerously close. When was he just going to fucking kiss me already?

"Yes," he said. He was twirling my hair around his fingers, glancing down at the hair he was fondling. "You wrote that song?"

"Yeah," I said. My voice so ridiculously breathy.

"Who was it about?"

I looked at him. He stared at my hair for a moment longer. Then he looked up and his eyes met mine. They were so intense. They looked like steel in the dim lighting of his office. All he had to do was move an inch—a _fraction_ of an inch—and our bodies would be touching. I could feel the heat radiating off his body. His hand was so close, and for some irrational reason, I found myself jealous of my hair. I wished those fingers were touching me instead of my stupid fucking hair. Silence passed for what felt like an eternity.

"Who was it about?" he repeated.

"You know," I whispered. And then I gasped as his hand moved and cupped the back of my neck. His thumb was making small circles on the skin right below my ear. I felt like I might burst into flame.

"Who?" He said. His eyes were egging me on. They looked urgent, almost desperate in the dark office. _"Just say it_," they were saying, asking, begging.

I stared at him for several long seconds. I leaned into his touch.

"You."

And then his hand on the back of my neck was pulling me forward. I gripped his hips, trying to balance myself, but finding it so hard when my legs were trembling. He stopped me right before our lips touched. I could feel his breath on my face.

"Kiss me," I breathed.

And then his lips crashed against mine. He cupped my neck in between his strong hands, and I grabbed his hips, pulling him against me. His lips were nudging at mine, urging them open, and I obliged, more than willingly. His tongue was tentative at first—gentle, seeking, rolling lightly against mine. And then I whimpered.

With a growl, Malfoy's hands dropped from my neck and moved down to my thighs. They slipped around to the back of my thighs, and suddenly, I was lifted against the door, and I wrapped my legs tightly around his waist. My arms snaked around his neck as I tried to pull him even closer. No kiss had ever made me feel like this. I was on fire from the very tips of my hair follicles to the very ends of my toes.

He moved his mouth from mine and down to my neck. He started sucking lightly on a sensitive spot right below my jaw. I could feel him—against me, hard, pressing into me. He bit at the spot he had just been sucking, and then he licked it with the very tip of his tongue. I moaned.

"Professor…"

He stiffened.

He pulled back and looked at me. I was sure I looked flushed and needy. That's how I felt at least.

A moment later, he was dropping my legs from around his waist and stepping away from me. He wiped his mouth and stared at the floor, a hand covering his mouth and another on his hip. He said something behind his hand.

"What—"

"You have to go."

"Why?" I took a step forward, and he took a step back.

I took a few steps forward and tried to reach out for him.

"You have to go," he snapped loudly. It was like he'd slapped me.

"Prof—Mal—_Scorpius_," I tried.

His head jerked up and he looked at me. His leg twitched as if he wanted to take a step forward, but he restrained himself.

"You have to go," he repeated. "Don't come back here."

"Scorpius—"

"I mean it, _Ms. Weasley_, go."

And with one final look at him, begging him with my eyes, I did as he asked.

* * *

_Next chapter:_

_Rose takes her revenge for Malfoy's rejection._


	8. A Woman Scorned

_A/N: Thanks so much to all who are following this story! I'm getting some really interesting and enlightening feedback, and I'm so excited for you all to see what I have in store for our two lovebirds. Keep letting me know what you think!_

_Chapter rated T for language and suggestive themes._

* * *

"_Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned."_

_-William Congreve_

* * *

**Chapter 8: A Woman Scorned**

I was walking through the Great Hall with purpose. I ignored everyone congratulating me and trying to talk to me about last night. I even ignored the eyes I felt from the staff table at the front of the hall. I had a one-track mind, and I was determined.

When I got to my destination, I straddled the bench and stared expectantly. Albus slowly looked at me.

"Good morning, beautiful," he said with a grin. "How does it feel to be a part of the greatest band of all time?"

"I want to sabotage Malfoy."

"Why, Albus, it feels _great_ that my band did so well, and I'm so _happy_ that I was able to make it for the last song."

I arched an eyebrow and he sighed, his grin only slipping a little. "Is this about the detention? Clearly he saw the error in his ways because he let you out early."

"I don't care," I said. I didn't feel ready to enlighten Albus about everything that had happened—the real reason that my hatred for Malfoy had come back with a vengeance when I'd woken up this morning.

The nighttime had been different. I'd gone back to my dormitory and cried quietly into my pillow until I'd fallen asleep. Then when I woke up, I remembered that I'd cried at least three times in the last week after not having cried for almost a year, and every time, it was because of Malfoy. In that moment of realization, I realized that this was the whole reason I'd changed who I was a year ago. I hated feeling this way.

"I should have been at that whole concert. I didn't put that fucking telescope in his desk."

"Rose—"

"If you're going to be a bitch about it, I don't need your help."

I moved to stand up, but Albus pulled me back down.

"I'll help you," Albus said with a little desperation. "But you gotta help me understand."

"There's nothing to understand," I said, picking a sausage off his plate and taking a bite.

"Hey, good job last night, guys."

I looked up with a small smile while Albus grinned broadly and thanked whoever the person was—I didn't recognize him.

"Why did Malfoy let you out early?" Albus asked quietly after the guy walked away. I shrugged. "Why did you go back to the classroom after the concert?" He narrowed his eyes.

"I left my jacket," I said without hesitation. "I fucking left there so quickly because he said I could go and I was so excited that I wasn't thinking clearly."

Albus regarded me. "What happened during the detention?"

"I don't want to play twenty-fucking-questions," I snapped, holding up a hand. What the hell was he implying? How was he so damn suspicious?

"Okay," he shrugged and went back to his food. "Well, what do you want to do? The Quidditch thing?"

"No," I said. "Something worse."

He slapped my hand when I went to pick more stuff off his plate. He gestured toward the table full of food. I rolled my eyes.

"So what do you want to do?"

I grinned. "I thought you'd never ask."

* * *

I was standing in front of the mirror of the girls' bathroom in the dungeons right before I was supposed to go to Potions. My hair fell in thick waves around my shoulders. I had opened my school robe so that my uniform was showing. I had magically hemmed my skirt so that it was several inches shorter than usual, and the first couple buttons of my white school shirt were undone so that the crease of my cleavage was showing. I'd discovered muggle "push up" bras the previous summer, and that had practically changed my life. Sometimes, muggles were just far better at things than witches and wizards would ever be.

My cheeks had a light dusting of pink blush on them, and I was currently applying mascara to my eyelashes. I stood back and observed my handiwork when I was done. Hopefully people would notice me.

Hopefully one person in particular.

I strode down the hallway to the Potions classroom, and when I opened the door, I plastered a smile on my face and walked over to where Albus, Lysander, and Lucy were all chatting. None of them noticed my appearance. I didn't expect them to. There was really only one person I was hoping would notice.

He was sitting at the front of the classroom as he always was when we came in. I glanced up and found him staring at me. As if I didn't care, I turned to Albus and the others and joined in their conversation.

"Hey, where were you?" Albus asked.

"Bathroom," I said with a shrug. I swept my hair over one shoulder and leaned forward on my elbows on the table. Lysander said something about something the band at the concert had done a few nights previous. The others of us laughed, and I made sure that he heard me. I knew he could because I could still feel eyes on me.

I glanced over and saw that Hadley was staring at me. And knowing full well that Malfoy was watching, I winked at my ex-boyfriend. Hadley arched an eyebrow in response and I went back to my conversation as if it was the most casual thing in the world.

A few minutes later, class started. Malfoy seemed agitated and irritable. Every time someone so much as moved in a way he didn't like, he snapped at them. He'd already taken about 50 points from all the houses combined, and two people already had detention. I knew it was probably because of what had happened Saturday night between us, but it wasn't my fault. He had put his arms around me. He had comforted me. _He_ had leaned in. And after the concert, he had pulled me inside. He had lifted me against the door. He had been hard and unyielding against _me._

I had been stupid, I admitted that to myself that night, and I admitted it now. It wasn't until I had walked through the castle afterward that I realized why he had freaked out. I had been the fucking idiot who had called him "Professor." I hadn't meant to. It had just slipped out. I was used to calling him that. And he freaked because he realized he was my professor and I was his student and my legs were wrapped around his waist as I moaned and whimpered at what he was doing to me.

But those were his fucking hang-ups, not mine.

It was probably for the best anyway. I didn't know how far things were going to go in his office, and more than that—a _relationship_ with someone like a professor could only end badly.

Even though I knew it was probably for the best, that didn't mean I wouldn't be getting my revenge. He had made a fucking fool of me. And I didn't take that shit lightly.

Albus and I were passing notes as we always did in Potions.

_What's up Malfoy's ass? _Albus slid the note over to me. I glanced down at it, and went to writing back immediately.

_**Not sure. I bet you wish it was your dick, though.**_

I slid the note over to Albus, and as soon as he read it, he snorted. He managed to cover it up, though, when Lucy turned around and said, "Bless you."

I bit my bottom lip to control my grin, and Albus kept his head down.

Malfoy glanced at us briefly before he went back to his lecture.

_I can't believe you wrote that. Do you want to make me piss off Malfoy?_

_**Fuck Malfoy.**_

I slid the note back over to Albus, and right when Albus's hand covered it—

"Ms. Weasley."

I looked up to see Malfoy staring at me angrily.

"Yes, professor?" I said sweetly.

"I hope that was help with the notes on this lecture that you passed to Mr. Potter."

I smiled. "I wouldn't want to crush your hopes."

Several people in the class snickered, a few gasped. Malfoy narrowed his eyes at me.

"You must enjoy having detention with me, Ms. Weasley," Malfoy said, his voice a hiss.

My smile slipped a bit before I plastered it on again. "I do," I said. "Unless you consider the fact that _you're_ always there."

This time, people in the class laughed outright. Malfoy clenched his jaw.

"Detention tonight in my office at 8 o'clock," he said. Then he added, "And see me after class."

"Can't wait," I said with a smile.

* * *

At the end of the lecture, I packed up my things slowly. After I said bye to Albus, Lysander, and Lucy, I walked up to the front of the classroom where Malfoy was sitting with his hands folded on the desk in front of him. Wordlessly, he stood up and walked to his office. He left the door open, so I assumed that meant I should follow. My heart rate started to accelerate.

When I got inside, he closed the door behind me. I leaned against the door, and he stood a few feet in front of me. It would have been just like last night except for the distance.

I had removed my robe halfway through his lecture, and when I got into the office, I placed my bag on the floor and the robe on top of it. My shirt was still buttoned very low.

"Something wrong?" I asked. I tried to seem cool, but my chest was heaving slightly.

"Yes," Malfoy growled.

"What's that?" I asked.

He took a step forward.

"I… fuck," he stopped.

He looked agitated, his hair wild, his eyes wide. If I didn't know any better, I would think he might curse me. Nervousness curled in my stomach.

He looked up at me, eyes blazing. "I… I tried to get you out of my head all weekend."

My breath caught in my throat as he spoke. My fingertips started to tingle.

"I had finally managed to get some peace, and then you walk in here looking like…" He trailed off and looked at the floor.

I looked at him, wanting more than anything for him to look at me, _see_ me. "Looking like what?"

When he looked up at me, I was unnerved by the intensity in his eyes. It was like they were pools of gray lava—on fire.

"Looking like you wanted me to rip your clothes off."

I gasped.

I wanted to run to him. I want to wrap my body around his and never let go. I wanted him to fucking kiss me again. I wanted to be pushed against the door again and kissed until I couldn't breathe. I wanted him to touch me. I wanted to feel his hands on my body, making me feel beautiful and helpless.

But I opted for something different.

I exhaled. "Well," I said, trying to control the quiver in my voice. "I'm sorry you felt that way."

His jaw clenched. "Rose…"

"I really have to go," I said. "I wouldn't want to disobey your wishes… Again."

And feeling like the most powerful woman in the world, I grabbed my things and turned and left his office, slamming the door shut behind me.

I almost ran from the Potions classroom. I didn't want to ruin my amazing exit. I felt like a woman from a movie—standing up to the guy who had fucked her over. I felt like that woman who walked away and managed not to look over her shoulder. I felt incredible.

I ducked out of the classroom and headed away from the dungeons. When I turned the first corner, I felt a hand on my wrist. My heart skipped a beat.

"Will you just—"

"Rose."

I turned around.

"Hadley?"

"Hey."

I was confused. "What do you want?"

"To talk."

I rolled my eyes and started to walk away but he grabbed my wrist again. I yanked it away.

"Hadley, there's nothing to talk about!"

"Look," he said, turning me toward him and grabbing both my wrists. "Just let me say this."

I sighed in annoyance and raised my eyebrows.

He smiled, and I almost gagged. "Okay. I… Well, I thought about what happened—like, everything, you know—that happened between us. And I was—I thought of something." I raised my eyebrows further, urging him on. "I think you're still in love with me."

I scoffed and tried to pull my wrists away.

"Wait!" He held my wrists tighter. "I just thought that—I mean, you wouldn't have gone through all that trouble to make me notice you and to make M—… anyone… _find_ us if there wasn't still something between us."

He really was completely delusional—narcissistic, arrogant. Honestly. "Hadley—"

"Just let me finish," he said. "I didn't realize what I had until it was gone. I didn't… I didn't see who you were until I lost you. You see, it's like this…"

As Hadley went on and on, I tuned him out. I thought of something nasty I could say when he finished—something that would shut him up. For good. I looked at him as his mouth moved. He looked so desperate—so urgent. I almost laughed. And just when I was about to say something, I caught something out of the corner of my eye. Something that looked like white blonde hair.

Had Malfoy followed me? He must have. I didn't think I had imagined that flash of hair around the corner. Maybe I had though… I was trying to figure out what to do when something occurred to me—something delicious.

And a moment later, I grabbed Hadley's face in between my hands and pulled him down into a kiss. He seemed shocked at first, but then he grabbed my waist and started to respond eagerly. The nausea wasn't as bad as it had been on the train. Hadley had always been a decent kisser, and at least this time he was doing it because he thought we were still in love, rather than because he was a horny bastard. That made it slightly better, right?

After another few moments, I pulled away. He rested his forehead against mine.

"Babe…" he whispered. "I want to try again."

And hoping against hope that Malfoy really was around the corner, I said, "Okay."

* * *

Later that night, I was sitting in detention with Malfoy. He was sitting at his desk writing something, and I was doing lines, which was different than the last two detentions when I had had to organize all his potions shit.

When I'd come into the classroom, there was a quill, an inkpot, and a piece of parchment sitting on the desk. On the chalkboard, there was one line written: _I will not disrespect my professor. _

I had almost laughed when I'd seen it. _Asshole_.

After I'd sat down, all he had said was, "you'll be doing lines." I'd shrugged and started working, and neither of us had said a word since. I didn't know if he'd seen me and Hadley, but I had a sneaking suspicion that he had, and this was his way of taking it out on me. I didn't try to make conversation like the first detention, and I didn't feel like crying like in my last one. Instead, I felt relaxed. I was taking control of my life again, and I felt good.

_Fuck Malfoy_.

* * *

_Next chapter:_

_"Because everyone else may be fine with watching your downfall but I'm not. Because the thing is... they don't realize that this time when he breaks you… I'll never get you back."_


	9. Hear Ye, Hear Ye

_A/N: Thank you SO much to all those who are reviewing and/or reading this story. I'm so glad people are enjoying it because I'm enjoying writing it! Please keep letting me know what you think!_

_Chapter rated T for language and mildly suggestive themes. _

* * *

**Chapter 9**: **Hear Ye, Hear Ye**

The news that Hadley Underwood and Rose Weasley were dating again spread through the school like wildfire.

Some people congratulated me.

"Hey, Rose! I heard you and Hadley are back together! That's great!"

"Good for you, Rose! I'm happy for you guys!"

I imagined that they only thought it was great because they thought it would be something like _The Taming of the Shrew_. Other people were annoyed.

"You and Hadley?" Lysander had said. "Really?"

"Rose…" Hugo had groaned.

I saw some people who eyed me suspiciously—as if they were waiting for the other shoe to drop. Those people weren't happy for me at all. They didn't want me to be happy because they were afraid of what might happen if I suddenly wasn't.

Then there were two who were downright pissed.

Megaera Bloodworth had practically lost her mind when she'd seen us walking down the hall with his arm around my shoulders and my arm around his waist. She'd shrieked and rushed from the Great Hall when she'd seen him kiss me on the cheek during breakfast. And when she'd walked in on us snogging in the common room—something I'd planned because I knew the time she always came back from the library—she'd burst into tears and run to the dormitory.

I knew how she felt. I had done almost the exact same things when I would see the two of them together over the previous year. But they had had no regard for how I felt—the sound of my shrieks and my tears did nothing to bother them—so I didn't feel the need to watch myself around her either. It annoyed me that Hadley didn't seem to notice or care when she had these fits, though. Because that was how I knew that when I had been reacting the same way, he hadn't even batted an eye.

The other person who was angry with me was Albus. He could barely look at me. We were partners in a lot of our classes, but we had been working in silence for the past several days—ever since the fight we'd had when he had first heard that Hadley and I were back together.

"_What the hell, Rose?" _

"_Good morning to you, too," I said as I walked down the staircase toward the Great Hall._

"_Is it true?"_

_I rolled my eyes. "Is what true, Albus?" I said exasperatedly. But I knew what he was talking about._

_He grabbed my arm and stopped me. We stood on the staircase with him one step above me. _

"_Are you back with him?"_

_I shrugged. "I suppose."_

_Wordlessly, he grabbed my arm and dragged me down the stairs. I didn't try to protest as he dragged me into an empty classroom. He slammed the door shut behind us and pushed me away from him when we stepped inside. I rubbed my arm unconsciously. _

"_What are you playing at?"_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_Don't play stupid, Rose. You fucking hate Hadley. He—"_

"_I know what he did," I said. "And—and I know what he is, but I"—I paused. I didn't know if I could bring myself to say the words without dry heaving—"I miss him. I love him." I clenched my jaw. Albus didn't notice. _

_He gaped at me. "Are you serious?" he nearly shouted, horrified. "Hadley Underwood is a selfish, arrogant prat who takes what he wants and discards what he doesn't. He—he doesn't love you, Rose. And you—god, you're a fucking idiot if you think he does. As soon as you aren't what he wants anymore, he's going to toss you aside just like he did last time."_

_It scared me how right Albus was. It scared me that he'd been holding these feelings in over the last year. These kinds of feelings didn't spring up over night. It scared me that he seemed to see so much. Those were things I told myself constantly about Hadley. Hadley had never cared about anyone but himself, and he probably never would. Right now, he was acting as if he couldn't live without me, but as soon as he realized that I still wasn't going to sleep with him, I knew it would only be a matter of time before he rejected me again. I just had to get what I wanted from him before that happened._

_I wasn't ready to tell Albus that one of the reasons I was doing this was to make Malfoy jealous. It sounded stupid in my head, and I knew it would sound even stupider out loud. I hadn't told Albus about the first kiss or—my heart fluttered—the second. I hadn't told him that Malfoy rejected me and then had the nerve to call me into his office and tell me he wanted to rip my clothes off. I hadn't told him that the whole reason this began was because I thought I saw a flash of white blonde hair before I had pulled Hadley into that kiss. _

_It just… It sounded crazy. _

_I couldn't tell Albus that the other reason was that this was my final act of sabotage to get back at Hadley for what he'd done to me. I couldn't tell him that I had to do this in order to move on completely—to feel that Hadley finally saw the error in his ways. _

_But here was Albus, my best friend in the world, standing here, trying to stop me from making a huge mistake. And even though he didn't know that I wasn't really back with Hadley and that he wouldn't be hurting me again, I loved him for caring. He was one of the few people who really did._

"_Do you have anything to say?"_

_I sighed. "Albus, I know you're upset—"_

"_Upset?" Albus stared at me with wide eyes. "I'm not _upset_, Rose. I'm… _disgusted_."_

_I was horrified. "Albus—" _

"_Do you know that everyone in this school is waiting for you to fall?" Yes, I knew that. "Everyone is waiting—watching—hoping that he breaks you again because they all think you deserve it—or… whatever. They're too—fucking stupid to realize that the reason they… Fuck." He ran a hand through his messy black hair. "The reason they hate and fear you is because of this asshole. They don't realize that you—that you changed because of him—because… he broke you once. And they don't realize how much you _really_ changed... They didn't see you eating less or sleeping all the time. They didn't know that every time you were—mean—to one of them at the beginning, you would hide out and cry for hours after. They didn't know that your heart—fucking, GOD—fucking closed and you lost hope in… fucking everything. They didn't see that." He paused. "But I did."_

"_Albus. Stop." I couldn't bear what he was saying. I should have just told him the truth just to shut him up because I hated what he was saying. I hated seeing what I had become because of Hadley. I was always trying to ignore it. I hated seeing it right in front of me. I hated that Albus saw it._

"_No—no I won't stop. Because everyone else may be fine with watching your downfall but I'm not. Because the thing is…" He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He deflated. "God… They don't realize that this time… When he breaks you… I'll never get you back."_

_I inhaled sharply and stared at my friend. "Albus… What are you—?" _

"_I lost you. When Hadley—the first time, I watched a piece of you go—a piece of your fucking heart. But I got you back. It was a different kind of you, but I knew that the real you was still in there… somewhere… Now… Rose, you won't be able to survive another heartbreak like this. It'll fucking kill you. You'll be… completely lost. And these"—he swung his arm around, gesturing out of the classroom—"fucking _vultures_ don't see—they don't _see_—that when this happens—"_

"_Okay, Albus," I said, my voice shaking. "I get it. I know. You don't want me with Hadley." Was this what he thought? That I was some fragile girl who would lose herself completely if Hadley and I so much as fought again? How long had he been keeping this worry and fear inside? How long had he been waiting, watching, _hoping_ that I didn't crumble? How long had he been scared that he was going to lose me forever? How long had he just been this fucking worried? How long had he cared this much about me?_

_I sighed and stepped forward, reaching out and taking Albus's hand. But he pulled it away and turned around, his back to me and his hands on his hips. _

"_Albus, I'm sorry… I didn't know…" I sighed again. "Look, Al… I'm not going to let him break me. I'm—I'm cautious this time. My guard is up. But listen… I really…" I bit my lip as my chin started to quiver. "I really appreciate that you care—this much about me. No one fucking cares about me like this. No one cared then and no one cares now. But you… I mean, I know that everyone is waiting for me to fall and—" My voice broke. "I know everyone wants me to get what I deserve, and you're the only fucking person who cares about me," I said through my tears. I was shocked. I couldn't believe I was crying. I wiped the tears away. "For the past year, you—you've been there constantly, and… I know it's been hard. I know I haven't been easy…" Albus turned to face me, tears welled in his eyes. "But I fucking love you Albus, and I… I don't know… You just…" I covered my eyes and bent over as the crying took over. _

_Albus stepped forward, pulled me up, and put his arms around me. I cried into his chest. I was just overwhelmed. Because after Hadley had broken up with me at the end of fifth year, I'd been convinced that I was in it alone—that no one understood me, and no one cared. But Albus had. He loved me and he cared. It was—there was really no other word—overwhelming. My feelings were scaring me._

_After a while, I stopped crying and pulled away. I looked up at Albus. "I know you don't want me to be with him, but I really… I really need you, Al. I don't want you to stop being my friend because of this. Please."_

_Albus regarded me for a long time. Finally he sighed. "I can't, Rose…" he said quietly. "I can't… just stand by and watch your downfall like the rest of these vultures. I… I can't."_

And then he'd left the classroom, and we hadn't spoken since.

But I understood that he was upset. He would just have to understand that this was the choice I'd made for now. Soon he would get it.

For my part, being Hadley's girlfriend again was surprisingly easy during the day. I would walk to class with him, sit with him at meals, make out with him in broom cupboards and secluded hallways and empty classrooms and sometimes let him grope me. I would hang all over him in the common room. The nausea wasn't bad. We spent some time alone, but a lot of the time we were with his friends—the other 7th Year Gryffindor men and a few sixth years.

It was easy because really it wasn't me—at least, that's what I told myself to get through it. _I_ wasn't Hadley's girlfriend. _I_ wasn't fawning all over him. It was some other girl—some other version of me. It was like I was an actor. Every morning I woke and I performed my role. I performed it with diligence and professionalism. And at night, I went back to my reality.

At night… That was when it was hard. It was hard when I was laying in my bed thinking about Malfoy. It was hard when I looked at myself in the mirror before bed and saw a hickey that Hadley had left and I shuddered. It was hard when I heard Meg crying herself to sleep. It was hard when I couldn't sleep because all I could think about was what Hadley had done to me, and how he thought he had won. It was hard when I thought of Al.

It was hard when I remembered that I did, in fact, still have a heart.

But right now, it was daylight. Hadley and I were walking to Potions together with our arms around each other. I was excited because it was in Potions when I felt that all of this was worth it. Seeing the look on Malfoy's face could make up for a few sleepless nights.

Right before we turned the corner to the hallway that Potions was in, Hadley dragged me down an empty hallway and attached his mouth to mine. This was hard. But I usually made it easier by shutting my eyes and picturing Malfoy's mouth—Malfoy's hands.

But, really, Hadley was nothing like Malfoy.

His tongue invaded my mouth, whereas Malfoy's tongue always seemed to be asking permission—tentatively pushing in, questing, curious. He ran his hand down my thigh, and then hiked my leg up to wrap around his waist, whereas when I kissed Malfoy, it was like my legs had a mind of their own—they wrapped themselves around Malfoy of their own accord. Hadley _did_ know how to snog. He really did, but he didn't seem to know my mouth and my body the way Malfoy did. He wasn't the expert that I remembered Malfoy being, but it wasn't terribly hard to pretend.

He moved his mouth from mine and began running kisses along my jawline. I remembered that night after the concert when Malfoy had done the same thing. With that in mind—picturing him—I moaned softly. Hadley sighed and then began unbuttoning the buttons of my school shirt.

"We should get to class," I breathed, trying to maneuver away from his hands.

"Yes, you should."

My heart leapt to my throat as Hadley pushed off me. The buttons of my shirt were halfway undone as I leaned against the wall.

"Professor—I—"

"This is inappropriate school behavior," Malfoy said. Even in the dimness of the dungeons, I could see his eyes blazing with anger and a vein in his forehead protruding. He glanced at me, and I noticed that his eyes flickered down to my chest, where my bra was exposed. I didn't bother to button up. I wanted him to see. I shivered at the thought.

"You will each serve detention with me tonight for this behavior," Malfoy said. "Mr. Underwood, come to my office at 6 o'clock. Ms. Weasley, I'll see you at 8 o'clock. Our usual time," he added. I smiled.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Gryffindor had the first round of tryouts for the Quidditch team. Tryouts were being held for seeker, chaser, and beater positions since Hugo was already the keeper. Hugo was killing it as the new captain. He spoke with authority, he ran everything efficiently, but he also made everyone laugh, and he was constantly giving people compliments and pointers on their techniques. Everyone was looking to him with reverence and respect. I had never been more proud.

Hadley and I were huddled on the bleachers, waiting for Hugo to call the chasers for their tryouts. After we had all warmed up together, Hugo had called the beaters first and told the rest of us to wait. There were twenty people waiting to try out for the three chaser positions. Really, though, it was eighteen people trying out for one position because Hadley and I were sure to make the team.

"Hadley!" I giggled as he nudged my neck and nibbled my ear. "Stop—people are watching," I whispered. He smiled. Then he ran his thumb over my lower lip and stared at my mouth for several seconds before turning back to watch the tryouts. He slid an arm around my shoulders and I buried myself into his neck. I shuddered. I would be so happy when I could end this fucking ruse. Luckily he took my disgusted shudder as a shiver.

"Are you cold?"

He glanced down at me, and I just looked up and shook my head with a smile. I cuddled closer.

This was one of the few times I was thankful that Albus wasn't a Gryffindor. He hated seeing Hadley and me together, so I tried to keep it to a minimum in places where I knew Albus would be—in the halls, in class, and in the Great Hall. So instead, I made up for it in places where I knew Albus wouldn't be—like the Gryffindor common room and Quidditch trials.

A bit later, the beaters were finished with their trials, and Hugo told the chasers to mount their brooms.

We spent most of the time flying around and trying to make shots against Hugo. He had us run some of his formations, and he switched up the group of three each time to see who flew best together. There was a fourth year called Perseus Church who was trying out for a Chaser position, and who was incredibly good. During one of the drills, Hugo had the beaters who were trying out circling in, flinging bludgers at us while we ran Hugo's formation. At one point, a bludger almost hit me because I was too focused on Church's skills at dodging bludgers, weaving around the other chasers, and zooming toward the goal posts.

"Babe, you have to pay attention," Hadley said after he touched down and walked over to me. "You almost got hit." I flashed him a grateful smile, but when I turned away, I rolled my eyes.

During the drills, Hugo had Hadley, Perseus, and our cousin Lucy going against everyone for a while. They flew really well together, and I was amazed at how much Lucy had improved. She hadn't made the team in the last couple years that she'd tried out because she got too distracted, but her focus seemed to be on point today. I started to get nervous and antsy seeing Hadley, Perseus, and Lucy flying together because they looked so good. For the first time, I worried that there wouldn't be a spot on the team for me.

After the Chaser trials were finished, Hugo told everyone to take a break and get a drink, and he called me over.

"What's up?"

"When the hell did you get so fast?"

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that you're the fastest one out there. And other than your distraction with the bludger—"

"Did you _see_ Church?"

Hugo laughed. "I know. He's definitely getting on the team. It's insane. But other than that, you saw everything out there."

"Thanks?" I said with a shrug. "It's not a big deal."

"Yeah it is, Rosie," Hugo said quietly, ushering me a bit further away from everyone. "I want you to go out for the seeker spot." The spot was currently completely open since James had graduated last year.

"What?" I said incredulously. "I'm a chaser, Hugo."

"No chaser flies that fast."

"I've never played seeker."

"Sure you have."

"Okay, yeah, in stupid family matches."

Hugo rolled his eyes. "Look, I want you to go out for the seeker spot. I saw some of these guys when we were warming up, and none of them were near as fast as you. And!" Hugo said excitedly, "Some of them have the newest broom models, and you have an old nimbus." He gestured to the broom in my hand.

Despite my trepidation, I felt proud of myself. James had never noticed me for how fast I was because he had always been the fastest—even though I'd always been close. I had to admit to myself that being seeker would be really fun and a new and exciting position. The outcome of the game would rest largely on my shoulders. I imagined the snitch fluttering in my hand while everyone shouted "Weasley! Weasley! Weasley!" With that in mind, I said—

"Okay, I'll try out… but Hugo"—he looked at me with a tilt of the head—"what if I'm no good?"

He grinned and nudged my shoulder before he walked away. "Not possible, Rosie." I rolled my eyes as he shouted, "All right, everyone, let's run a few more drills and then I'll have my seekers!"

After we ran a few more drills, I got ready for my seeker tryout. I was nervous as I walked to the middle of the pitch with the other hopefuls. Even though Hadley was grating on my last nerve, him wishing me luck and saying he would be rooting for me and that I would do great was a welcome encouragement when I felt so nervous about this whole stupid thing.

Who did I think I was? I wasn't a seeker. I had always been a chaser, hadn't I?

There were seven people going out for the seeker spot—more than I had ever seen now that James was gone. Hugo had everyone try out in groups of two. I was last since he had everyone going in alphabetical order by last name. He had each team looking for the snitch three times. He wasn't just looking for who caught it, he told the group. "I'm looking for the best discipline and technique."

One team spent almost half an hour looking for their final snitch. I'd seen it hovering around the pitch about four different times. The fifth time I saw it glimmering, and I looked up and saw those dopes flying around aimlessly, I straddled my broom and bolted across the pitch. A few seconds later, the snitch was fluttering in my hand as the lookers-on laughed, and the two who were trying out looked sheepish.

Hugo chuckled as I put the ball in his hand. "Sorry," I said. "They were taking way too long."

For my tryout, Hugo paired me with a kid who had caught all three of the snitches in his round. I gave Hugo a look, but he just smiled and shrugged.

Hugo blew his whistle and the two of us took off into the sky. It was amazing—how the wind felt in my hair and on my face. There was almost nothing better than flying. Playing in my band felt amazing. Getting an 'O' on an essay felt pretty damn good. Snogging Malfoy had left me breathless. But here—in the air—above everything… There was nothing like that.

Up here, it was just me, my broom, and the wind. There was no Hadley trying to fondle me on the bleachers. There was no Meg glaring daggers at me from across classrooms. There was no Albus hating me. There was no Malfoy staring at me or catching me with Hadley. There were no schemes or plots. There were no snarky comments. There was nothing but me, my broom, and the wind. I laughed loudly—giddy as I dove around looking for the snitch. It was exhilarating.

The first snitch was easy to find. I was down on the ground handing it to Hugo after only about a minute. The next one took a bit longer, but much to my opponent's dismay, I was diving toward it after only a few minutes. Hugo gave me a knowing smirk when I put it in his hand. I just rolled my eyes as I hopped back on my broom.

The final snitch took longer. I could tell that my opponent was frustrated that he hadn't caught any. He was looking around frantically, watching me closely as well to see if I had spotted it. At one point, I saw it fluttering near the kid, but I acted like I didn't see it because I knew he would be there long before me. So I started diving in the other direction, and just as I had known, he had followed me.

Faintly, I heard Hadley cheering for me, but I blocked it out. I just wanted to find that snitch. The flash of gold reminded me of the flash of white blonde hair that had gotten me into this mess. It taunted me, teased me, encouraged me to come toward it while it bolted away at the same time. It was a menace and a bother and it was so bloody confusing, but I wanted to catch it. I had to catch it. Because wouldn't it feel so good once I did?

Then I saw it. It was glimmering behind one of the goal posts at the opposite end of the pitch.

Like it was watching me.

I was closer, and without hesitation, I dove.

I had to catch it. It was like it was begging me to. I blocked out any other noise and distraction. My opponent disappeared from my vision. I didn't care about him. He wasn't important. The only thing I cared about was that snitch. And suddenly I felt desperate to catch it. The other times I had wanted to catch it, too, of course, but this time it was like if I didn't catch it, my heart and my head would explode. It was like that snitch was my lifeline, and the only way to survive was to have the feeling of that snitch in my hand.

My heart was pounding, and my palms started to sweat. I felt tears sting my eyes. I didn't know if the tears were from the wind in my eyes or from everything that was swirling around inside me.

I had to get that snitch.

I was diving. It was at the bottom of the post now. When I got close, it ducked underneath the stands, and blindly, I followed. The tarps that lined the stands fluttered around me as I dove through them. And as if the snitch had been waiting for me in the darkness, it was suddenly in my hand. I screamed with ecstasy and flew underneath the stands. I encircled almost the entire thing where no one could see me. It was just me and my snitch.

And then I was diving out from under the stands, grinning broadly as I held up the snitch. I heard people cheering, and when I landed in front of Hugo, he just grinned back at me and said—

"Told you so."

* * *

_Next chapter:_

_Things get heated in another detention..._


	10. Our Usual Time

_A/N: Thanks to all who are reading and/or reviewing this story. Y'all are the BEST. And because I love you so much, here's the next chapter much more quickly than anticipated. Enjoy!_

_Chapter rated T+ (yes, I made up that rating, but it's just a little more than T and not quite M!) for language and mild sexual content._

* * *

**Chapter 10**: **Our Usual Time**

I was rushing down to the Great Hall so that I could shovel some food into my stomach before class. I had woken up later than usual, and I usually took forever to get ready, so I'd told Hadley and his friends to go on without me and that I would see them when I got down there.

After that, I had deliberately gone even slower than I normally did. Eating meals next to Hadley—while he ran his leg up my thigh or whispered in my ear or kissed my neck—always made me lose my appetite. I would finally be able to eat my first good meal without feeling nauseated in weeks.

I was bounding down the last flight of stairs, not really paying attention, when I saw a tall, firm figure with black hair brush past me.

It wasn't until I was almost to the Great Hall when I realized who it was. Without thinking, I whipped around angrily. I was sick of this bullshit.

"Hey!" I called. "Potter!"—putting my hands on my hips. He paused but didn't stop. I ran up to him and yanked his shoulder so that I could turn him around.

Albus stumbled off the first step that he was standing on so that he was now on the ground level with me.

"What is it?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes. "How long are you going to act like this?" I asked him exasperatedly.

Albus shrugged and turned away, but I grabbed him again and yanked him around by his elbow.

When he turned back, I saw anger flash in his green eyes. I then lifted and dropped my arms in defeat.

"I—I'm sorry, Albus."

"You don't have—"

"I know I don't have to apologize," I interrupted quickly. "I just…" I didn't know what to say. _"I secretly still fucking despise Hadley and I'm only dating him so I can get back at him and his girlfriend and make our professor jealous."_ I settled for, "I'm not perfect, Al." I huffed and he just stared at me, his jaw clenched. Anger coursed through me. "I—and neither are you! You know, all those times that you and Lysander got back together…" I shook my head. "I hated it—"

"Yeah, you made your opinions known," Albus hissed.

"Yeah, I did," I growled. "Because that's what a friend does. But you know what a friend doesn't do? A friend doesn't just—fucking _drop_ you the second you do something they don't like." Albus's angry frown relaxed a bit, but he didn't say anything.

"Don't—Albus, you're supposed to be on my side."

There was a pause. "You know what the difference is?" Albus said quietly, looking up at me with anger etched all over his face. "I didn't become the person that you became. All those times… I didn't change the way you did."

"What?"

"Yeah, Rose, you're no fucking picnic. He makes you worse."

"Albus—"

"I can't fucking do it—"

"Albus, please, listen." He closed his mouth and went back to clenching his jaw. I could tell he was withholding a lot of anger and frustration, and I understood where it was coming from. I sighed. "I need you, Al," I said to him. I was begging him. In that moment, I knew I should I have just told him what I was doing. And looking back, I honestly don't know why I didn't. But I just said, "I'm sorry about all of this, but I just… I need you to understand that I have to do this… for me… And I know it seems stupid and fucked up now, but I just need you to be there and to support me because you love me anyway."

I could see his jaw muscles working as he regarded me. After several moments, he just blinked slowly and shook his head.

"I can't, Rose," he said before turning away. "I just fucking can't."

* * *

"Come in, Ms. Weasley," Malfoy said as I opened the door to the Potions room later that evening.

My heart started pounding and my fingertips started tingling instantly. I didn't know if it was just me or if he looked exceptionally good tonight. His hair was hanging loose in front of his face, but when I walked in, he looked up and ran his fingers through it to push it back. It looked like he hadn't shaved in a few days, so he had some light stubble on the lower half of his face.

It was more than that though.

Every other time I had come to a detention with him he'd been wearing his robes still. But this time… He was wearing a light gray t-shirt, and when he wrote, I could see his chest muscles moving.

"Oh my _god_," I whispered to myself. This was going to be a difficult detention.

I took a deep breath, pushed my thick, black framed glasses up my face, pulled my long auburn waves to the side, and sat on top of a table in the front row, swinging my legs and waiting for my punishment.

He held up a finger, and bent his head to finish what he had been doing before I came in. I watched him, and a few seconds later, he must have felt my eyes on him because he looked up at me through his eyelashes, and my heart about exploded.

I sucked in a breath of air as he laid his quill down, twisted the top back onto his pot of ink—I watched his fingers while he did it, feeling heat rush through me—and stood up—gracefully, sexily—all without taking his eyes off me. My heart was racing and my stomach was fluttering madly. I could feel all my limbs trembling slightly from the force of the adrenaline coursing through me.

He walked down off the platform that his desk was on so that he was standing a couple feet from where I was sitting on top of the table. When he was standing, I could see the rest of him. He was wearing a pair of nicely fitted dark jeans, and now that he was standing, I could see the barest outline of his abs through his t-shirt.

_Christ_, I thought.

"So, what will I be doing tonight?" I asked, trying to fight my voice from shaking. I could feel him. He wasn't even standing that close but the proximity alone had me nearly trembling with desire.

"What do you want to do?" he asked quietly.

I started. "I… I have a choice?"

He nodded.

He was looking at me and holding my gaze, his eyes intense and beautiful. My heart was pounding. _What's going on?_

I had changed out of my school things, so I was wearing a loose-fitted khaki button down and black shorts. Around my neck I wore a long gold chain with a large blue pebble hanging at the end. Albus had given it to me for Christmas last year. _"Makes your eyes pop, sweetheart."_

Malfoy stepped forward so that he was within arms length. He reached forward, and I swear, I could hear my heart leaping out of my chest. He grabbed the pebble and fingered it softly.

"This is pretty," he said in a low voice, sending shivers through me. He was absurdly gorgeous. It just didn't make sense for someone to be that good looking.

"Thanks," I squeaked. I cleared my throat and he smirked, still looking at the necklace. "It was a gift."

"Your boyfriend?" Malfoy asked, looking up at me. His eyes had taken on a strange heat. He looked angry, but there was also something else. I didn't know what it was, and I was afraid to speculate. He ran a hand through his blonde hair and I watched as his bicep flexed when he did so. When he pulled his hand back down, a stray piece of blonde hair fell on his forehead. I desperately wanted to reach out and touch it—touch him.

"No," I said. I was frustrated with how breathy my voice sounded. "Albus. Potter," I added. "My cousin."

Malfoy chuckled. It was a masculine sound, coming from deep in his chest—a rumble. I wanted to bite the corner of my lip, but I didn't. "There aren't many Albuses around here," he said, still playing with the stone.

_Of course not,_ I thought to myself. _Idiot_.

He took another step closer, and I had to remind myself to breath. He dropped the stone and it bounced against my chest before settling back in its place.

When Malfoy's body was only about six inches from where my knees were on the table, my fingertips were tingling so badly that I balled my hands into fists in an attempt to get them to stop. I want to reach out and touch his exposed biceps—I could see the lines and veins bulging slightly and I just wanted to see how they felt under my touch. I wanted that more than anything _in the world_ because, god, he looked so good. I had to try not to stare, but he was standing so close, and he was… fucking _looking_ at me. Why was he looking at me like that?

"Would you like to do lines?" he asked, his voice husky. "Or something else."

He took another step forward so that the tops of his thighs would occasionally brush against my knees. I was almost panting now, and he glanced down at my mouth before looking up at me.

"Something else," I whispered.

He smiled, and my eyelids fluttered a bit. That smile. Jesus.

"Well, how are things?" he asked me. _What?_ _What things?_ "With school… with your boyfriend… just things," he said as if he could read my thoughts.

"Oh," I said. I had forgotten Hadley even existed. "Fine," I said. "Great."

Malfoy arched an eyebrow. "Great?"

I nodded dumbly. I didn't know what else to do. I had no idea what was happening or why, but I didn't want it to stop. I didn't want to say anything to mess it up because I knew that if he stepped back, my body would go cold and my heart would break. And I was so warm. And that felt so good. And my damn heart was already so fragile from all the ferocious beating it was doing. Malfoy didn't realize that whatever he was about to do had me hanging in the balance.

"Hmm," he hummed thoughtfully. He reached up and began to play with a loose bit of thread on the side of my shorts. When the knuckle of his thumb brushed against my thigh, I felt like my leg would light on fire.

My chest was heaving. And he was standing so close. And _god_, I was so thankful that I had left the top few buttons of my khaki blouse unbuttoned. If he looked, he would see, and I wanted him to see. I wanted him to want me the way I desperately fucking wanted him. I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted to touch him. I wanted him to—

Malfoy's hand moved so that he could slide it up my thigh. Unconsciously, I spread my legs apart a bit, and he stepped in between them. I moved my legs so that they were hooked behind his knees so I could pull us closer together. I didn't know what I was doing really. I was just letting my body do as it pleased without thinking. He leaned forward, and I leaned back, using my hands to support me. He chuckled that sexy chuckle again and leaned forward more.

My heart was _racing_. I couldn't think. I could barely fucking breathe.

_Breathe, Rose_, I told myself. _God dammit, just breathe._

Malfoy leaned forward and brushed his lips against mine. _Kiss me! _I was screaming in my head. _Fucking kiss me now! _I whimpered.

And it was like that sound had set off something in him. He pulled back a bit, his eyes darkened, and then he cupped my face in his hands and crashed our lips together. I used my legs that were still hooked behind his knees to pull him closer still, and he growled as his tongue brushed against my lower lip.

I made a tiny noise of assent and then opened my mouth so he could dive in. It felt fucking incredible. I lifted my arms up to wrap around his neck so I could sink my hands into his silky hair—it felt even better than it looked—as his hands slid down to cup my arse and yank me closer.

I was now sitting on the very edge of the table, his hands on my bum and my hands in his hair as our tongues fought fiercely. I was whimpering and moaning occasionally, and when he moved one of his hands, I tried to yank it back around me. He chuckled into my mouth, reached behind himself and pulled out his wand, pointing it at the door to the classroom. I heard a faint click, but I was hardly paying attention. I just wanted to keep kissing Malfoy—forever if I could.

After the lock clicked, Malfoy maneuvered us a bit and pushed me up as he crawled onto the table. Our mouths separated for a moment and he arched an eyebrow with a smirk before diving back in and kissing me soundly. He had one leg in between my thighs, pressing against my heat, and I wondered if he could feel it—could he feel that I was ready? Because dammit I was. The sensation was unfamiliar but instinctually I knew what it meant. I knew I wanted him.

I suddenly became embarrassed and tried to close my legs and move his thigh, but he wasn't having it. He slid his hands down to the insides of my thighs and spread them apart so that he could climb in between them. He then wrapped my legs around him and thrusted forward. And that's when I felt it.

Malfoy was hard. Malfoy was hard and he wanted me, and I could feel it.

And the power rush and flood of desire I felt was like nothing I'd ever felt before.

I wrapped my legs tightly around his waist, and reached down so I could grab the hem of his shirt and pull the t-shirt over his head. He smiled just as he threw the shirt to the side and brought his hands down and clamped them around my wrists before securing my arms above my head. I squirmed a bit as he pressed into me again.

I only got a brief moment to admire Malfoy's chest and torso before he was on me again—kissing and sucking along my neck as he made the smallest thrusting movement against me.

I tried to free my hands. I just wanted to touch him. He made a clucking noise as his mouth moved down to my chest.

"Let go," I whispered hoarsely.

"Mmm," he murmured.

I whimpered when he made a particularly rough thrust.

Then suddenly I felt a rush of cold air, and I looked down and my shirt had been vanished, only to reappear in a heap on top of Malfoy's.

I looked down at him in shock. "Did you just—mmph—"

I was cut off by his mouth reattaching to mine as his thrusts picked up their pace and his kisses became more urgent and wet—god, so wet, everything was wet.

"Malf…" I tried to moan his name, but I couldn't think. His mouth moved to trail kisses along my jaw.

"Scorpius," he murmured into my neck and I shivered. "Call me Scorpius."

I shivered again as he brought his mouth back to mine and kissed me fiercely. I wanted more. These kisses were good—no, they were fucking incredible—but I wanted—_needed_—more.

I was writhing against him when he finally released my hands so he could yank one cup of my bra down. I gasped, and looked down to watch what he was doing. He latched his mouth onto me and sucked. I arched my back and moaned.

"More," I breathed.

He chuckled—that low, gravelly, sexy chuckle of his—and moved his mouth back a bit so he could use his tongue to flick at my nipple. I moaned louder this time.

"Scorp…" I couldn't even bring myself to finish his name. It just felt too good. My mind was a mess—an incoherent, completely turned on mess.

I moved my hands—which were still resting above my head, despite my earlier urgency to have them freed—and I reached down to fumble with the buckled of his belt. I didn't really know what I was doing. I was working on instinct. One of his free hands moved down to still me.

What? Why? I knew he wanted me. If he would just…

I tried again, and this time he moved his mouth away from my breast. I groaned at the loss of contact and the rush of cool air, making my nipple even harder.

"What?" I breathed, searching his face as he stared down at me.

Several seconds passed before he groaned, whispered a curse, and moved off of me. I pulled the cup of my bra up, but I stayed on my back on the table in my black bra and black shorts. I turned my head to look at Scorpius who was standing next to me, his bare back to me and his hands on his hips. I didn't mind this view at all. The muscles in his back were flexing slightly. God, I was dying. He was killing me.

"Shit," he murmured.

I knew what was going on. He was having another moral fucking dilemma. He realized he was fucking crazy hard for me and he had realized things were about to go farther, and now he was having an attack of conscience. What a girl.

So, before he could reject me again and make me feel like a fucking idiot for a week, I turned, hopped off the table, grabbed my shirt up and slipped it on before walking toward the door.

When I got to the door of the classroom, I turned back to find him staring at me, his shirt still off. I couldn't help but stare. It was the first time I was able to get a really good look at him—natural, lean muscle—and I wanted nothing more than to run back to him and put my mouth all over his body. I restrained myself though. I arched an eyebrow and smiled.

"Thanks for the, er, detention… _Scorpius_."

I had never been more proud of a goodbye in my life.

* * *

The next couple days were uneventful. I went to class, went to Quidditch practice, and pretended to be in love with my ex-boyfriend. Just a day in my life. The band hadn't been practicing at all as of late because Albus despised me, so that was absent from my life, but everything else was mundane. The only thing exciting that ever happened was catching Malfoy staring at me. When the hell was he just going to admit he wanted me and stop going through his moral qualms? When was he just going to give me another detention? It was so annoying. I knew he was my teacher and I knew that McGonagall, Ron, and Hermione would absolutely flip if they found out, but for some reason I really didn't care. Like, at all.

As the days went on, I started trying to make myself more noticeable. It was exactly what I had done to try and get Hadley to notice me months earlier. Hadley thought I was doing it for him, but little did he know that I was doing for a man I was starting to think I would never have. But I wanted him. I wanted him to notice me. I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted him to touch me. I wanted more.

That detention had been… incredible. But it had left so much more to be desired. I wanted and needed more than that. He made me feel like I had never in my life felt before. I wanted that feeling again and again and _again_.

The fire started to consume me. I started to become obsessed. I would imagine scenarios in my head. He'd find me in the Quidditch locker room the way I'd found him; he'd come to my dorm when I was alone; he'd drag me into his office after class and lock the door. I was becoming distracted. Hadley didn't notice, but that was to be expected because as long as I snogged him in secret corridors, he was satisfied.

I just liked looking at Malfoy too. He was fucking gorgeous in every possible way you could think of. And he was forbidden. So goddamn forbidden but I didn't care. I was mesmerized when I stared at the way his shirt would ripple against his body when he wasn't wearing his robes. I was mesmerized by his lips when he spoke in class—those lips that had set me ablaze not so long ago. His eyes—

"Hey."

I coughed into my pumpkin juice when I looked over and saw Albus sit down next to me. I wasn't even mad that he'd interrupted my Malfoy-watching at breakfast because I was so confused that he was sitting next to me.

He dumped eggs, sausages, and biscuits onto his plate and he began to eat. I just stared at him. It had been three days since our last blowout and about a week and a half since Hadley and I had started seeing each other again—or a week and a half since Albus and I had been friends.

We sat in silence while I watched Albus eat and read the _Prophet_. After a while, I spoke.

"Are you talking to me again?"

Albus just shrugged. I kept watching him, waiting for him to do or say something. A few minutes passed.

"I heard you're the new Gryffindor seeker," Albus said with a glance in my direction. I studied him intently, my eyes slightly narrowed.

"Yeah."

"What made you go out for that instead of chaser?"

"Hugo," I said. "He told me to try out for it, so I did."

Albus nodded. "Well, congratulations."

"Thanks." There was a pause.

"You know you don't stand a chance against me and Slytherin, right?"

I looked at him and he glanced at me again and grinned. I smiled back.

"You're probably right," I said. "But we may give you a run for your money."

Albus chuckled. "You wish."

We fell into silence again as Albus wolfed down his food and I just continued to watch him. I was incredibly confused and wary. Why was Albus talking to me as if the past nearly two weeks hadn't happened? Was this his way of making amends? If so, what a typical male thing to do. And what a typical Potter thing to do. I rolled my eyes at the thought.

"Well, I better get going," Albus said, wiping his mouth, taking a swig of pumpkin juice, and standing up.

"Oh—okay," I said, startled.

"Me and Ly were thinking of jamming a little tonight," Albus said as he swung his bag over his shoulder. "You in?"

"Yeah, of course. What's Nate up to?"

"He'll probably be there, too. Although I might have to let him bring Luce along."

I shrugged. "It's cool."

"Cool," Albus said. He gave me a strange look that I couldn't place. "See you."

"Yeah," I said, frowning a bit. "See you."

And then he was gone. And I was left gaping after him.

* * *

_Next chapter:_

_We'll see how Scorpius is handling all of this..._


	11. Scorpius

_A/N: Thank y'all so much for all the kind words about this story. Your reviews are what make me want to keep updating like crazy! I just want you to know that I've got a HUGE chunk of this story completed already and it is taking all my will power not to post it all at once-that's how excited I am for y'all to read it. Soon soon soon! So keep reading because I can guarantee you that things are going to get SO freaking good._

_Chapter rated T for language and suggestive themes._

* * *

**Chapter 11**: **Scorpius**

What could I do?

_Fuck._

How could I get this damn girl out of my head?

It had been a week. A long, agonizing, painful week since I had last touched Rose. I was losing my damn mind. I absolutely was.

I was sick, wasn't I? I was a fucking sick creep for being attracted to a seventeen-year-old girl.

Well, almost eighteen. And she was of age. She could fucking apparate—that should count for something, right? And what did it matter? I wasn't that much older than her. I'd only left Hogwarts five years ago.

It was just… Dammit. What was it?

Well, I knew what it was. She was bloody gorgeous and her body… Christ. And she was smart. She was probably the smartest student I had, and she hardly even worked for it. Her intelligence and wit came naturally. And that night… I remembered seeing her on that stage—singing with her band, completely in her element—and I knew that I was fucked. If I hadn't been able to get her out of my head before that, there was absolutely no chance I would be able to now.

"_I'm here!" _

_I stood in the back of the Great Hall, hiding in the shadows as the crowd whispered quietly and frantically to themselves as Rose made her way to the stage. I leaned back against the wall, trying not to think about that kiss—while craving her lips on mine—and crossed my arms as she made her way to the stage. _

"_Rose?" I watched as Albus Potter put a hand over his eyes to try and see out into the crowd over the lights. I watched as Rose waved. "Rose!"_

"_Hey everybody!" she said to the crowd after her bandmate had pulled her to the stage. "Do you all want to hear one more song?" I watched her. Her eyes had never looked brighter and bluer—she had never looked happier than in that moment as she called out, "Let's give them what they want, guys. One, two, three, four!" _

_The crowd loved her and how could they not? Her hair fell in red waves around her shoulders, and she flipped it back as she got more into the music. I frowned as I listened to her voice… She was absolutely just as good as any professional band I had ever heard, and I couldn't believe it. But I also just couldn't stop looking at her. She was wearing the tight black jeans and the loose fitting blouse she'd been wearing in our detention. I remembered thinking when she'd walked in how incredible she had looked when she sat down at the table and looked at me expectantly. _

_And then she'd started crying, and Jesus if she hadn't looked even more beautiful with her eyes rimmed red and her cheeks stained with tears. I didn't know why I had held her—it had been instinct. She was distraught, and I'd done that to her. _

_I'd put her in that pain. _

_And I had to fix it._

_McGonagall had told me about the concert. She explained about Rose's band and how long they'd been planning on this. She explained that she understood that Rose needed to be punished but couldn't he just let it slide this one time and she would make it up?_

_But I'd been stubborn. She'd embarrassed me and it was all revenge. _

_I was a twenty-two-year-old man and I was hell bent on getting revenge on a seventeen-year-old student. _

_So I'd gone to her. I'd scooped her up in my arms and wiped her tears away and I'd made the big mistake of looking at her lips. I remembered my heart speeding up. I hadn't had that strong an urge to kiss someone in so long that the feeling was almost foreign. But she'd looked up at me with those wide, beautiful, blue eyes, and I knew I'd be a fool not to kiss her. _

_I sighed. _

_It wasn't until halfway through that I actually started listening to the words of the song that Rose and her band were playing._

"_Merlin could do what most of the world  
__Could only dream to do  
__But he was just a man  
__Who only wanted you  
__He dreamed you would come back  
__For so long  
__But then he found another  
__Who made him feel so wrong…"_

_The dawning I suddenly felt was overwhelming. _

_It's me._

_That song is about me. I was the one who made her feel wrong. I felt that to be true so strongly that my hands started shaking—it was like adrenaline was pumping through me so hard that my body couldn't take it. She'd written a song about me. _

_She wanted me. I already knew that by the way she'd responded to my kisses and my touches—but it was like hearing this song solidified it in my head. And I understood what she was saying—I understood wanting someone but knowing it was wrong. I knew because I wanted her. _

_I had to get out of there. It was like the Great Hall had suddenly become too small and I couldn't breathe and I couldn't think. So, I ducked out of the hall and went back to my office as quickly as I could._

I remembered that night. That feeling I'd had when I realized that song was about me. And she'd admitted it. She'd come to my office as I'd sat there trying to distract myself. She'd walked in looking sexy as hell with her face slightly flushed and her hair pulled up messily on top of her head as if she'd been dancing at the concert all night.

I hadn't regretted letting her go to the concert at all in that moment. I'd give anything to see her that flushed and happy all the time.

And I'd asked her. _"Who was it about?"_

And she'd looked at me, eyes searching and nervous. _"You,"_ she'd said.

I shouldn't have kissed her. I shouldn't have kissed her that first time, and I shouldn't have kissed her when she'd come back to my office. And that overwhelming realization that I was kissing my student had hit me like a ton of bricks. I'd fought so hard for this job. McGonagall had been skeptical since I was so young, but I'd eventually convinced her. I loved my job. I loved standing at the front of that classroom and watching the light come on in someone's eyes as something suddenly clicked. I loved laughing when my students acted silly or made jokes. I even loved it when I had to discipline them because I enjoyed teaching them the error in their ways. I was so lucky, and I loved it.

So I made her go. Even though there was nothing more I wanted than for her to stay, I made her go. I had to.

I sighed and swiped a hand down my face, and I looked up at the back of the classroom when I heard the door open. I had to teach the N.E.W.T. students in a bit, and it was always about this time when they started to shuffle in.

When I looked up, my breath caught.

There she was.

She was standing at the back of the classroom, having closed the door behind her. She was leaning against the door, looking at me, head tilted—studying me, really.

"Hi," she said.

"Good morning, Ms. Weasley," I said, forcing the formality in my voice—not wanting to give anything away.

She rolled her eyes, and I had to look down to hide my smile. She'd caught on.

"'Ms. Weasley,'" she repeated as she walked forward and sat on top of the table she had moved to since she'd started seeing that fool Underwood. I tried to hide my scowl at the thought.

I looked up at her and she was looking at me with an arched eyebrow.

I raised my eyebrows in question.

She rolled her eyes again. "Don't act dumb," she said as she crossed one leg over the other and leaned back on her hands. "You can snog me but you can't call me Rose?"

I shook my head and shot a quick glance at the door to the classroom that was still closed.

"Is something bothering you, Ms. Weasley?" I said. I knew that my voice sounded cool, but I felt anything but cool and calm. She was looking at me with those blue eyes and her robes had slipped when she crossed her legs so I could see one milky knee. Even from where I was, I would see the smattering of freckles there. I hid my smile.

She gaped at me, and I smirked as I stepped down from my platform and moved toward her. We were only about a foot from each other, and she was watching my every movement.

"No, nothing," she said.

I leaned against the railing that separated my desk from the rest of the classroom and crossed my arms.

"Seriously?" said Rose, looking at me with an annoyed scowl. I raised my eyebrows again, and she rolled her eyes.

I looked at her. Her chest was heaving slightly, and she was biting the inside of her bottom lip. Her hair was tossed over one shoulder and her head was tilted to the side. She narrowed her eyes as she regarded me. In that moment I thought I had never seen anyone more beautiful. It pained me to look at her—I hated looking at her and feeling like this and wanting her so badly but know I shouldn't—_couldn't_—have her.

"What?" she said.

I smirked and shrugged.

I moved from my spot against the railing and moved so that I was now leaning against the table right next to her, my arms still crossed. I looked out of the corner of my eye and fought my smile as she edged a bit closer. From where I was, I could smell her. She smelled like lavender and honey and some other scents that I couldn't place. I glanced down at her thigh that had become a bit more exposed when she'd scooted closer. I wanted to reach out—to run a finger along it just to see—to see if I could make her shiver.

I could feel her eyes on me, but I didn't look at her. I couldn't look at her because if I did… Fuck, if I did I knew what would happen.

I felt her edge a bit closer so I could feel the heat radiating off her body. She had uncrossed her legs and she was leaning forward on her hands, trying to get a good view of my face. I stared straight-ahead, acting interested in a scratch on my desk.

My heart was fluttering like a goddamned girl, and I knew that if I looked at her it would only get worse.

"Look at me," she whispered.

I sighed and shook my head. "I can't."

"Why?"

Her voice was so soft. It was like I could hear the vulnerability. Or something.

"You know why."

Silence fell between us and I felt it charge like electricity. She was looking at me and I could smell her, and she was my student, but _god_ what was I going to do, and then I did it. I turned my head.

When I turned my head to slowly look at her, I withheld a gasp. She was even closer than I had thought, her face inches from mine. Her blue eyes were boring into mine, and I couldn't help it when I glanced down at her lips. She moved forward and I leaned to the side.

"You have a boyfriend," I said. It was really all I could think to say.

"Who cares?" she breathed. She tried to lean forward again but again, I leaned away.

"You're my student."

She rolled her eyes—again, seriously, with the damn eye rolls—and tried—again—to lean in. She made a frustrated noise that sounded like a growl when I leaned away.

Then, she reached forward and grabbed the front of my robes and pulled me toward her, and my heart skipped a beat.

"Kiss me," she said in a gravelly voice.

My heart was pounding. I looked down at her lips. I wanted to. I had to. They were there, and I could smell her. And—

Just then, I heard the sound of voices right outside the classroom. I gave her a small smile, wrapped my hand around her wrist to pull her hand off my collar before I turned and walked back up to my desk. As soon as I took a step away from her, the door to the classroom opened and several students came piling in.

I turned around when I got up onto the platform and saw that she had hopped off of the desk and was walking to her seat. When she sat down, she looked up at me. Her chest and neck were red. I smirked, and she scowled at me. It was adorable.

* * *

I was sitting at my desk with my head in my hands later that night. What a goddamn mess I had gotten myself into. Weasley. Jesus.

But it was all my own goddamn fault.

If I hadn't been such a stubborn asshole and given that girl detention when I didn't even know for sure that she had been at fault, I would have never felt the need to comfort her when she'd burst into tears on the floor of my classroom.

But _Christ_, she'd just looked so beautiful and helpless hunched on the ground, tears streaming down as she reached her breaking point. I knew it had been my fault. Who would I be if I didn't at least try to make up for the mistake I'd made… But then… God it had just gone too far…

If we'd never had that first kiss, I wouldn't be going through this right now. I would never know what it was like to kiss her—what it was like to have her fingers in my hair, her legs around my waist—and I wouldn't feel the longing I felt for her now.

But who was I kidding? I'd been longing for her since I first saw her in the Great Hall the morning that classes began. It was certainly true that the longing had skyrocketed since our kiss, but in all honesty, I would have been in this situation either way—wanting something, _someone_, I couldn't have.

Because I couldn't have her. No matter how much I tried to rationalize it in my head—she wanted me too, it was only a five-year difference, she was of age—I couldn't have this girl. I couldn't think about her, I couldn't kiss her, I couldn't… No I couldn't even _think_ about what I couldn't do with her because that was a dangerous path. I'd already let my imagination wander too far, and I had to put a stop to it.

With a heavy exhale, I stood up from my desk, pushing my chair back so hard that it teetered a bit before falling back in place, and I strode toward the front door of the classroom. I had to walk this off—I had to think.

I had to fly.

As I walked out of the classroom, I pulled my cloak off and tossed it to the side before pushing through the classroom door and walking into the dark castle. It was twilight outside—the late evenings of summer continuing in the mid weeks of September—but in the dungeons, you would never know it. It was as dark down there as if it were in the middle of the night.

I walked quickly, trying to suppress my grin as I thought about flying. I'd seen a lot growing up with magical parents and going to Hogwarts for seven years. I'd been a potions master's apprentice in Germany before I'd come back to teach at Hogwarts—she had mixed potions the likes of which I had never, ever seen. I'd watched a chair be turned into a dog and I'd seen my mother clean an entire kitchen with a flick of her wand. Once when I was seventeen, I had magically shattered all of the glass in my room in a fit of rage when I found out I hadn't made the Chudley Cannons after making it through all the tryout rounds. I'd seen a lot in my years as a wizard, but there was still nothing—_nothing_—like flying.

I felt like I had bugs crawling on me—my skin was itching with excitement, and as soon as I ascended the stairs from the dungeons, I couldn't take it anymore—I broke into a run. I ran through the castle, grinning like an idiot, hardly able to stop myself from screaming with glee as I ran through the entrance hall, so completely overwhelmed with the excitement at the idea that soon I would be in the air, and I would be feeling that feeling that made me feel like nothing else.

My white button up was fluttering in the wind as I ran out onto the grounds, and my black slacks were swishing back and forth. If anyone were to see me in this moment, they would be completely and utterly confused, but I didn't care. I had a one-track mind. I just wanted to get in the air.

When I finally made it to the pitch, I ran into the locker rooms to Hooch's office where she let me store my broomstick and other Quidditch gear. I didn't even bother to change into the clothes I kept stored in a bag in a small locker in the corner of Hooch's office. I didn't have time. I had to fly. I had to.

As I gripped my broom and rushed from the office, I had to suppress a giggle that was bubbling in my throat because of my eagerness and giddiness to be in the air. _Get a hold of yourself, Malfoy_. The anticipation had even allowed me temporarily to forget about Rose—that was how intense just the thought of flying was. Even the _thought_ of flying had me so distracted that I was able to forget about the person who had constantly been on my mind for weeks.

Right as I was about to exit the locker room, I hiked my leg over my broom, and as soon as I was out the door, I kicked off and I was flying.

I was soaring.

In the air it was just me and my broom. I dove around—the wind whipping my hair—and my mind was blank. At one point, I let go of the handle of my broom and raised my hands in the air as I flew downward toward the pitch after soaring so high I could hardly make out the pitch. I felt weightless—powerful—as I released the broom and let it guide me. It was terrifying and exhilarating. It was incredible.

Stars were shining brightly in the sky when I finally landed on the pitch, a bit sweaty, and my hair sticking up in different directions. I grinned and ran a hand through my hair before heading back to the locker room to put my broom up. It was remarkable how much better I felt after all of that. I thought about showering in the locker room, knowing that no students would be down here this late, but after what had happened with Rose, I was still paranoid about showering down here. But really what I wouldn't give for her to come down here… while I was sweaty and practically high from my flying experience. I would probably grab onto her and never let her go.

No. _Enough_. I decided I would just go back to my quarters and shower when I got back—another chance to clear my head.

My trip back to the dungeons was much slower than my trip down to the pitch. I wasn't in a big rush to get back because I knew that down there meant more time alone with my thoughts.

_I should write to my parents_, I thought as I walked through the entrance hall and descended the stairs. I was distracted from this thought, however, when I got down into the corridor that led to my quarters and I heard some murmuring and rustling from an empty classroom that hadn't been used since before I had been at Hogwarts.

I heard a giggle. "Stop…"

I heard a bit more hushed sounds, but I was in such a good mood from my fly that I decided I would leave these kids alone and just go back to my quarters without punishing them.

That was until I noticed the tone of the sounds changing.

"Stop… Seriously…"

I frowned and walked up closer to the door so I could hear it a bit more clearly.

"Don't…"

The rustling got a bit louder, and if I wasn't mistaken, it sounded like whoever was muttering protests was trying to stop whatever was going on. I was conflicted about barging in and interrupting until I heard one more thing…

"Hadley, honestly…"

I clenched my jaw, and burst through the door without thinking about anything else.

The sight before me had my heart pounding hard in my chest. Rose was on her back on a desk, her skirt pushed above her waist, and Underwood was standing in between her legs, his shirt hanging open, one hand on one of Rose's hands—apparently restraining it—and the other in his pants.

When he heard the door open, Underwood jerked his head back, and when he saw me, he pushed away from Rose, and she looked up at me—her eyes wide and frightened. I wasn't sure if she was frightened that she'd been caught or about the situation she'd just been in.

"What's going on here?" I demanded. I felt the anger coursing through my blood, threatening to explode. I tried not to look at Rose because I knew if I saw her on that desk looking scared because of what this kid had done to her, I would lose ability for rational thought. I needed rational thought right now—I always did when she was involved.

"Uh, nothing…" Underwood tried, buttoning up his pants and taking another step away from Rose.

"It looked like you were forcing yourself on this girl, Underwood," I said through clenched teeth. When I saw Rose tense up out of the corner of my eye, I knew that was exactly what had been going on.

"It wasn't—"

I took a few steps toward him, and I knew in that moment that I was going to lose my job at Hogwarts because I was going to take a swing at my student. I knew that because I felt my hand clenching and in my mind's eye I could see Hadley going down, clutching his nose. Right when I was about to do what I was seeing myself doing, I felt a small hand on my elbow.

I whipped around and saw that Rose had gotten off the desk and was standing next to me, looking smaller and younger than she ever had. Her eyes were wide and scared, and she was pleading—although I wasn't sure what she was pleading for. I looked down at her and clenched my jaw, and I saw that her eyes were watery. I wanted to pull her into my arms more than anything. I wanted to kiss that fear away. Instead, I just sighed.

"Get the hell out of here, Underwood," I said, still looking at Rose.

"Wha—I—"

"IF YOU DON'T WANT DETENTION FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR, GET OUT OF HERE," I roared. Rose flinched, and with a quick glance at her, Underwood rushed from the room.

When he was out of the room, I looked down at Rose, my heart clenching at the look of fear on her innocent face. She seemed to relax now that he was out of the room, and I just watched her, frowning. What the hell was she doing? I wanted to shake her, I wanted to scream at her, but all I did was take in every inch of her face. Her chest was heaving and it was splotched with red as she continued to look up at me.

"I—"

"Don't," I said as I bent down and heaved her up into my arms. She was practically weightless. I don't know why I did it—why I lifted her—I just knew I had to get her out of that room.

As I turned to leave the room, cradling her in my arms, she wrapped her arms around my neck and buried her face into its crook. I could feel her trembling as I used wandless magic to open the door to the classroom and slam it behind us as I walked down the hall toward my quarters.

We were there quicker than I expected—it was a room hidden in the wall around the corner from the potions classroom. There was also a door that led from my office to my quarters. I was able to get in by pressing my hand to the wall—the magic of the wall recognizing my touch and opening for me.

The door closed behind us as soon as I carried Rose into the room. I walked to my bed and bent down so I could put her in bed, but she wouldn't release me. Smiling slightly through my anger at Underwood, I sat on the bed with Rose still in my arms, and that was when the tears finally came. She dissolved, crying in my arms and holding me tighter. I felt my heart falter as I pulled her closer. I whispered words of comfort into her ear, which only seemed to make her sob harder, so after trying that, I settled on running my hand down her long red hair as she continued to shake and cry.

After a while, her tears subsided, to be replaced by the occasional sob or sharp intake of breath or hiccup. She still clutched me, and that was fine with me—I wouldn't have let her go even if she wanted it.

My throat burned with my anger at Underwood—it rose up in my throat like bile—my arms ached from holding Rose so tightly, my jaw hurt from clenching it and unclenching it so much, and my heart was still pounding wildly, replaced only by the occasional flutter when Rose would move in a certain way or squeeze me or touch me somehow.

Soon, I noticed that her sounds had changed, and I looked down at her and smiled slightly when I saw that she had fallen asleep. I moved slowly. At first, she clutched me a bit tighter in her sleep, but I was able to shift her fairly easily and get her onto my bed, covered, and rested on my pillow. I smiled when I pulled the cover up, and I considered what I would do about Underwood—what I would do about this situation that we had all found ourselves in.

"Goddammit," I muttered to myself as a put a hand on my hip and ran the other down my face, looking at Rose. She looked beautiful—her face a bit puffy and red, but otherwise completely at peace. I reached down, without thinking, and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. In her sleep, she sighed and leaned into my touch. My chest clenched.

Yes, this girl was under my skin, and I was in trouble.

* * *

_Next chapter:_

_"You should go."_

_"What? Why?" _

_He glanced down at my mouth, and my heart fluttered again. "Because I want to kiss you, and if you don't leave then I will."_


	12. Haven't You Ever Had Your Heart Broken?

_Eep! I'm so excited that so many people are enjoying this story. Thank you so much, and please keep letting me know what you think!_

_Chapter rated T for language and suggestive themes._

* * *

**Chapter 12:** **Haven't You Ever Had Your Heart Broken?**

I had a massive headache and my mouth was insanely dry. I could feel the sun shining on my face, so I closed my eyes tighter and curled up into a ball, yawning as I did so.

After another moment, I gave in and opened my eyes completely and jolted a bit—I wasn't in my four-poster—this was not the seventh year Gryffindor girls' dormitory.

I frowned and turned over, and when I did, I almost yelped. Malfoy was slumbering in a chair a few feet from the bed, his hands resting against his stomach, his feet stretched out and crossed in front of him, and his head falling to the left—his left.

That was when all the memories from the night before all came rushing back—Hadley sneaking me into that old classroom even though I told him a hundred times that I had to go to bed because we had Quidditch practice in the morning; Hadley and me snogging (while I held down my gags, playing my part); Hadley's hands under my skirt, pushing it up—me telling him to stop, remembering—god, _remembering_—the reason why he had broken up with me in the first place. It was like nothing had changed.

And yet everything had changed, because this time I had a knight in shining armor. Yes, I, Rose Weasley, had a real, genuine white knight. A man who had lifted me up into his arms and carried me back to his quarters to take me away from harm—a man who would protect me. A man who—if I wasn't mistaken—would have taken a swing at his student last night if I hadn't stopped him. Whoever said chivalry was dead had never been swept off her feet—literally—by Scorpius Malfoy.

I watched Malfoy sleeping and smiled as my heart fluttered and I remembered his strong arms carrying me and cradling me last night. Then I quickly tried to hide my smile but I couldn't. How could I keep from smiling when I had a goddamn white knight? I smiled bigger and snuggled into the covers—Malfoy's covers, Malfoy's bed—inhaling deeply. It smelled like him. Like soap and cinnamon. I closed my eyes, smelling deeper, never wanting to be out of this bed, away from my knight.

I smiled and opened my eyes—hoping to get a good look at him before he woke up—and my stomach clenched with nerves and my heart skipped a beat. Malfoy was awake and he was looking at me.

"Hi," I said, stretching in his bed like a cat.

"Good morning," he said, his voice husky from sleep. I tried not to shiver at the sound of his voice, although my eyes fluttered a bit.

I didn't know what to say or do. He was rubbing his eyes, and stretching while I watched him, waiting on what _he_ would do or say.

"Sorry," I began.

He held up a hand to silence me, and I quickly complied, realizing I wouldn't have known what to say next anyway. He then stood up, stretched, and walked toward a door that I assumed led to his bathroom. I kept watching him until he was out of sight. After a moment, I heard the sink running for a second and then I heard the unmistakable sounds of teeth brushing. I smiled, and without thinking deeply about what would happen next, I pulled the covers off me and walked toward the bathroom.

I stood in the doorway, and he looked at me through the mirror, continuing to brush, raising his eyebrows only slightly. He pulled his wand out of his back pocket and with a flourish, conjured a toothbrush for me. I smiled and walked up to the sink.

As we brushed our teeth together, I couldn't get over how normal this seemed—how… _domestic_. Like we were a married couple—together for years—brushing our teeth together in the morning without thinking anything of it. Several times, I caught him glancing at me through the mirror, but I kept my eyes forward. If I looked at him like this, my imagination would run wild, and that wouldn't do right now. I was trying to keep my cool—maintain an air of mystery. So far it wasn't working.

I looked up into the mirror. _Yeesh_. I tried not to cringe. I looked pretty bad. My eyes were red and puffy and my skin was splotchy and my hair was a mess. I reached up to run a hand through it as Malfoy leaned down to spit. He rinsed off his toothbrush and pulled out a drawer to throw it in. Then he leaned toward me, and I thought he was going to kiss me or embrace me or _something_ and I froze—my heart leaping to my throat and beating so loud that I swore he could hear it—but he only reached around me to grab his mouthwash. I released a breath I hadn't known I was holding. He grinned to himself and I narrowed my eyes before I leaned into the sink to follow suit and spit like he had.

After he glugged some mouthwash, he left the cap off and handed me the bottle. I tried to suppress my smile and failed as I took the bottle and poured some into my mouth.

This was eerie. It was also… strangely erotic.

He started to watch me as I swooshed the tingling, minty liquid around in my mouth. Our eyes locked through the mirror, and unconsciously, I moved closer to him. I had to get closer—he was like a magnet. I could feel him in my core—at the very center of my being—and in that moment, I wanted him to touch me. I wanted him to reach over—a finger on my arm, a touch on my face, _anything_ would have sufficed. I just wanted his hands on me. No. I needed them on me.

I didn't get my wish though. He finished before me, spitting into the sink, wiping his mouth with a towel and then heading back into his room. I exhaled and tried not to smile like an idiot—again—but I was failing dismally. I spit into the sink, screwed the cap back on the mouthwash, and put it back in the place he had taken it from. I tried to brush my hair with my fingers, and I managed to make it lie a little bit flatter as I pulled it over one shoulder and headed back into his room.

When I got back in, he was sitting in the chair he had slept in, and he gestured toward the bed. _Sit_, he was telling me. I complied and sat down, crossing my legs and facing him.

He was so bloody handsome it was distracting. His hair was swept to one side, and he had some stubble on his normally cleanly shaven face. I wanted to tell him that somehow he looked even better with that stubble, but I figured it wasn't really appropriate. He looked serious, and playful flirting about his five o'clock shadow probably wasn't the best idea. He was still wearing the white shirt and slacks he had found me in, but one extra button was unbuttoned. I forced myself not to stare at his chest. I was wearing my school skirt and the white button down, and just then I noticed that the first several buttons were still unbuttoned from when Hadley had undone them last night. I tried not to think about Hadley, and I decided not to button up the buttons. What was the point? Malfoy had already seen me at one of my lowest points so what did it matter if he saw the tops of my breasts?

He looked at me, frowning slightly.

"Talk," he ordered.

I narrowed my eyes in mock confusion. "About…"

"Rose," he said. It was a warning—_don't mess around. Don't be cute. I'm not in the mood_. "Last night."

"It was nothing," I said quickly.

"Didn't look like nothing," Malfoy said, his voice still a bit husky. I shivered.

I then shrugged and looked down at my hands that were resting in my lap. "It was what it looked like," I said quietly.

"It looked like your _boyfriend_ was forcing himself on you."

I could hear the anger in his voice, and I shrugged again, not looking up. I felt suddenly ashamed—like my teacher had caught me doing something bad and was now giving me a talk about how disappointed he was… which, coincidentally, was exactly what had happened and was happening.

"Rose," Malfoy said, making me look up. His gray eyes were piercing mine. I sighed. When would my heart stop thumping?

"Look, it's a long story," I said, my voice shaky.

He leaned back in his chair and raised his eyebrows as if to say, _"I've got time."_

"Well," I said, looking down again. "The short version is that Hadley broke up with me last year because I wouldn't have sex with him and he cheated on me with some girl, and the only reason I got back with him this year was so that I could break up with him and hurt him and…" I stopped myself. I couldn't tell him the real reason—that I'd thought I'd seen him lurking in the corner that night Hadley asked me to be with him again and I hoped he would hear and I hoped he would get jealous—could I?

When I looked up, Malfoy looked severely annoyed. "And?" he hissed, raising an eyebrow.

The next sentence came out as barely a whisper. _Just do it, Rose_. _What's the worst that could happen?_ "And…" I said. "To make you jealous."

"Rose—"

"I mean." I rushed through the next part. "I know it doesn't even make any sense because why would you be jealous of anything I was doing and why would it matter to you that I'm with him because it's not like there's anything between us or anything so why would you even care, but—I mean, I know you made it clear and you… I don't know, I…" I trailed off after spitting out that last bit.

For several moments, he just regarded me. I couldn't decipher the expression on his face.

"So," he began slowly. "You got back with Hadley so you could—what—make him suffer or…"

"I…" I hesitated. "This is going to sound so stupid."

"It already does," Malfoy snapped. I frowned and looked at my hands again. Why was he reprimanding me? I wished we could go back to last night when he was just holding me… caring for me.

"I had this whole thing planned—how I would break up with him and humiliate him, but… Shit…" I said. It did sound stupid now after… After everything. "But it would only work if I could make him love me again."

"Jesus Christ." Malfoy stood up from his chair and turned around so his back was to me. He stood with his back to me for several moments before muttering, "You're so fucking young."

_Is that what this is about? Again? Seriously?_

"I'm seventeen," I said. "First of all." I straightened up, glaring at his back. _Of age_, I wanted to add. "Second of all, don't you… Haven't you ever had your heart broken? Haven't…" I sighed. "God, haven't you ever been so hurt that you would do _anything_ to get back at the person who hurt you?" I paused but he didn't turn around or say anything. "Well, I have," I said. "And it fucking sucked, and I… I don't know, I just wanted him to hurt the way he'd hurt me."

"God dammit, Rose, _you_ are the one who got hurt!" Malfoy whipped around, his face contorted in anger. He looked so sexy. _Focus!_ "He didn't get hurt by forcing himself on you. _You_ got hurt, again, you got hurt—Jesus, Rose, what would you have done if I hadn't shown up? Huh?"

I faltered. "I… I don't know," I admitted.

"Goddammit," he muttered again, turning around and putting his hands firmly on his hips.

"I'm sorry?" I said. It came out as more of a question.

He sighed. "Don't apologize"—he turned around—"Don't fucking apologize."

He was looking at me and his features softened a bit. He was gazing at me with those intense gray eyes, and my heart was fluttering and my goddamn fingertips—as if on cue—started to tingle. I rubbed the pad of my thumb across the tips of my other fingers, and he glanced at my hand before looking back up at my face. He was staring at me so intensely for so long that for a moment I forgot what we were even talking about or where we were or what was happening. My heart was pounding until he finally sighed, and it was like I let out a breath that I'd been holding all that time.

"You should go," he said. He seemed to deflate.

"What?" I said, confused by the sudden change. "Why?"

He glanced down at my mouth, and my heart fluttered again. "Because I want to kiss you, and if you don't leave then I will."

I had to stop my mouth from dropping open as I felt my heart start pounding again and my fingertips were tingling so badly that it was like they had fallen asleep and were trying to wake up.

"I want you to kiss me, though," I said, my voice breathy. I bit the corner of my bottom lip. He looked at my mouth again before he turned around, crossing his arms.

Unthinking, I scooted off the bed and moved to stand behind him. I could see his back muscles rippling under his shirt. I was standing behind him, my front almost touching his back, and I reached around him and touched his forearm.

"Rose," he said in a low voice.

I trailed my hand along his arm and then moved so I was standing in front of him. He looked down at me before turning and walking away. When he was near the bathroom, I stayed where I was, but I tried something else.

"Scorpius."

It worked.

He looked over his shoulder at me, frowning, looking torn.

"You have to go."

"Why—"

"Because," he turned around, throwing his hands up. "You look fucking beautiful and you're in my goddamn bedroom and just fucking last night your boyfriend tried to fucking rape you so I'm not going to kiss you."

I gaped at him. "I wouldn't have let him rape me."

"_Let_ him," Malfoy said with a short, humorless laugh. "I don't think he was really concerned with what you were going to _let_ him do."

"Scorpius…" I tried again.

He looked at me for several long moments before he shook his head.

"Fuck it," he said, taking a few long strides and closing the gap. I gasped when he reached me, held my face in his hands, and put his mouth to mine.

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_Next chapter:_

_Albus and Rose get into another fight. She makes a few startling confessions. _


	13. Can You Keep It?

_Thanks so much to everyone who's reading/reviewing/LOVING this story! Y'all are legendary!_

_Chapter rated T+ for language and sexual content._

* * *

_Why when we do our darkest deeds do we tell?  
__They burn in our brains, become a living hell.  
_'_Cause everybody tells,  
__Everybody tells.  
__Got a secret, can you keep it?  
__Swear this one you'll save.  
__Better lock it in your pocket,  
__Taking this one to the grave._

_-The Pierces_

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**Chapter 13**: **Can You Keep It?**

I couldn't stop smiling.

It was actually starting to get rather annoying. It had been two full days since The Morning After Hadley, and I hadn't stopped smiling since.

I would be sitting in the library, _trying_ to concentrate and study Transfiguration or Charms or fucking _Potions_, and suddenly I would remember. I would remember the way he had kissed me so tentatively at first, and then things I had changed. I would remember how he had slowly slid his hands under my shirt and I had shivered so violently from the feeling of his hands on my bare skin. I would remember how we'd fallen onto the bed and he had put an elbow on my splayed out hair and he had grinned when I said "ouch, my hair!" and just moved my hair before capturing my mouth again. I would remember how he'd kissed my neck and I'd giggled at first because his stubble had tickled me, and he'd pulled back and looked at me.

"_Something funny, Ms. Weasley?"_

_I bit the corner of my bottom lip and smiled. "No."_

_He narrowed his eyes at me. _

"_Are you ticklish?"_

_There was a mischievous look in his eye. I knew that look._

"_No," I said firmly, forcing down a smile._

_He smirked. "Liar," he whispered. _

_He brought a hand up, but I grabbed his wrist before his fingers reached my stomach. _

_He arched an eyebrow. "Nervous, Weasley?"_

_I narrowed my eyes at him. "Of course not, Malfoy."_

_And before I could stop him, he brought his free hand down to my stomach and began to tickle me and I was crying with laughter until I was finally able to push him off me and I was straddling him. And the power was mine._

We'd kissed more after that, and I was smiling like a fool, remembering how he'd buried his hands in my hair and with a swift movement, he'd ended up back on top of me, and our kisses had gotten more needy—more… _intense_. And I remembered feeling him—_him_—and I remembered my body felt like it was on fire and every inch of my skin was so sensitive that every time he so much as brushed against me, I whimpered or moaned or sighed his name. I remembered wanting him and not being afraid that I wanted him.

And in that moment I would have done it. I would have given him what I'd refused to give to Hadley—what had ended us. I would have given it to Malfoy and not have regretted it. I would have given it to him without thinking twice. I wanted it so fucking desperately. I just wanted to know what it would be like to have him buried inside me—to have us connected beyond anything I'd ever experienced. I wanted it. I wanted him.

But he'd stopped. _Of course_.

He'd leaned up on his elbows and stared down at my face and I'd looked up at him, and in that moment, I hadn't been scared of what might happen, but I'd been afraid. I was terrified because my feelings for him were strong. And they were overwhelming. And I remembered my heart was pounding so hard and so fast as his gray eyes bore into my blue ones as if he could read my thoughts. They were looking at me so intensely that I had—_had_—to look away. It was too much.

Then he'd smiled and rolled off of me and stood up to put on the shirt that I had torn off him a little bit earlier. He'd yanked it over his head and turned to face me.

"_Don't you have Quidditch practice?"_

_I arched an eyebrow. "Stalker much?" I was still out of breath, but he didn't really seem to notice. _

_He chuckled. "I'm the Slytherin head, Rose. I help regulate the sign ups for the pitch."_

"_Sure you do," I said, shifting so I could sit on the edge of his bed and look at him. Silence fell for a moment as we looked at each other. "I can skip it."_

_This time it was his turn to arch an eyebrow. "And do what, exactly?"_

_I smiled and shrugged. _

_He looked at me for another moment as if he was considering something and then he shook his head. "No, you gotta go."_

"_Why?" I smiled seductively at him. "Think you won't be able to control yourself if I stay?"_

_He raised both eyebrows. He paused and looked at me with a serious heat in his eyes. "No," he said, his voice slightly hoarse. "I _know _I won't be able to."_

_I almost gasped but I just rubbed my thumb across the tips of my fingers and looked down, suddenly bashful for some reason I couldn't really pinpoint. _

_After a moment, I looked up at him and he was grinning at me. _

"_You know what they say," he said, walking forward and grabbing my hand to yank me up so he could wrap his arms around me. "If you can't take the heat…"_

_Before I could say anything, he kissed me. _

My cheeks were hurting so much from smiling at the memories.

But it had been almost two days since I had seen him. All of that had happened on Saturday morning and it was now Sunday night and I was walking through the castle patrolling for my prefect duty.

Otto Daltondale, the head boy—a Hufflepuff—always let me do patrols on my own while everyone else had to go in pairs. I mostly bullied him into letting me go by myself, but he knew I could handle it alone so he let me. But mostly he was just too afraid to say no to me and no one was pressuring him to make me do it in pairs because they were afraid to be around me.

I was walking down a corridor on the fifth floor, smiling and itching with excitement. This morning when I'd woken up, I'd decided to tell Albus everything. He needed to know what Hadley had done to me, and he needed to know why I'd even gotten with him in the first place. He would be mad about both things, but I was tired of keeping this from him. I wanted to commiserate, I wanted to be comforted, but most of all, I was absolutely _bursting_ to tell someone about Malfoy. Albus was the best secret keeper I knew.

I just had to finish this patrol and then I would run down to the dungeons and tell him. I couldn't wait.

A bit later, I was almost finished, still smiling about Malfoy, when I decided I would go to the Room of Requirement and conjure the room we always practiced in so I could play a few songs before I went to find Albus. It felt like I hadn't played in ages, and I just needed my uke so I could strum out a few songs before bed. I didn't have _my_ ukulele with me, but that was what the room was for.

When I got to the seventh floor, I paced in front of the door three times, asking for the room where Founders Four practiced. I was giddy with excitement.

When I walked in, it took me a moment to register what I was seeing.

Albus was sitting at the drum set that Lysander usually sat at, which confused me right off. I opened my mouth to say something but then I saw that Albus's eyes were closed, his head was slightly tilted back, his mouth was hanging open, and he was whimpering softly. It took me another moment to register that there was a blonde head by Albus's crotch, bobbing slowly.

I screamed.

"Albus—WHAT THE HELL!"

Albus's eyes flew open and he jerked violently.

"Rose! Shit—" He pushed Lysander off him and stood up quickly, yanking his pants up as he went. Lysander toppled a bit but was able to regain his balance and stand up. He at least had the courtesy to look at the ground and look sheepish.

Albus took several swift steps forward to get to me. "Rosie—"

I pushed his arm away that he tried to reach out toward me. "Don't FUCKING touch me!" I yelled. I turned around and shoved my way back out of the RoR and into the seventh floor corridor. I roared in frustration before stomping angrily down the corridor.

It wasn't just that Lysander was blowing my best friend in the room where we practiced music together. It wasn't just that they had broken up and gotten back together roughly ten times over the past two years, making the band's fate hang in the balance each time. It wasn't just that Albus had lied to me and betrayed me and done the one thing I had practically fucking begged him not to do. It wasn't just that.

It was that Albus was ready to throw in the towel on our friendship—drop me like a fucking hat—after he found out I was with Hadley. He was livid with me and didn't speak to me for almost two weeks. He'd finally "apologized" by sitting next to me at breakfast and making ten-second small talk. He was ready to not be my friend anymore over a relationship he didn't approve of. And here he fucking was—getting blown in the Room of Requirement by his ex.

Pot, meet Kettle.

"Rose, please, wait," Albus said, easily keeping up with me with his long legs and long strides.

"Fuck you," I said, ignoring him and walking on.

"It just happened—"

"Oh, it just happened," I growled through gritted teeth as I stomped angrily.

"We aren't—"

I wheeled around to face him.

"You aren't _what_, Albus? You aren't fucking him? You aren't back together? You aren't the worst fucking friend on the PLANET?"

"Shh…" He grabbed my elbow and guided me down the corridor until he found an empty classroom and pushed me inside. I don't know why I let him guide me. I think I was just too blinded by my rage and confusion to do anything other than let him steer.

"I'm sorry," he said as soon as he shut the door behind him.

"Fuck you," I said again.

"Rose—"

"No, seriously, Albus!" I was yelling. Fairly loudly. He tried to hold up a hand to silence me but I wouldn't hear it. "You fucking…" I sighed angrily. "How dare you," I started again. "How dare you fucking hate me for getting back with Hadley when you're doing… _that_!" I gestured toward the door.

"Rose…"

I gave him a disgusted look before I mocked him. "'_Rose_,'" I sneered. "Is that all you have to say?" I looked at him with raised eyebrows and when he didn't say anything after one second, I threw up my hands. "Of FUCKING course that's all you have to say. You were ready to—God, Albus! You were ready to toss me aside for Hadley. Do you remember what you said to me?"

"Rose—"

"Do you fucking remember?"

"I—"

"You said you were _disgusted_ with me," I spat. "You said I _changed_ and that he makes me WORSE and that HE was going to toss me aside—LIKE. YOU. DID—and you—when I asked—fucking _begged_ you to just stand by me, you know what you said?"

"Rose, please—"

"You said _'I can't, Rose. I just fucking can't.'_"

I stopped and watched him. He at least looked ashamed, which I was glad for.

"You hated the fact that I was with Hadley _so much_ that you could hardly fucking look at me. You didn't even give me a chance to explain. You didn't even give the thing with Hadley a chance. You—"

"It's different!"

"HOW!" I yelled. "HOW IS IT FUCKING DIFFERENT."

"I told you, Rose! I… Fuck, I don't become the person you become when someone breaks my heart."

I clenched my jaw. "First of all, that's because you're fucking _used_ to breaking up and making up with Lysander. I don't have all the goddamn _experience_ that you have, so SORRY." The last word was a shout. "Second, you don't _'become the person I become'_? Oh, _really_? Because I distinctly remember ten different goddamn times when you wouldn't eat or sleep, and you were a royal prick to everyone who came near you—"

"And how long did that last, Rose!"

"That doesn't—"

"IT DOES MATTER!" My eyes widened slightly when Albus raised his voice. I don't know if he'd ever actually yelled at me before. Not like this. "It matters because I did the normal thing. I—I was an arse for a week or two and then I GOT OVER IT. But you… With you, you don't just get over it. You didn't get over it. It—all the shit—it became a part of you."

"Oh, shut up," I said with an aggressive eye roll. "I'm tired of hearing it." I held up a hand. "I _changed_ and I'm _different_. Who fucking cares! I stopped letting people treat me like shit—everyone should be _happy_ I changed."

"It's not about sticking up for yourself. It's…" He sighed. "It's just about the person you become when Hadley is involved."

"This isn't about Hadley!"

"What—"

"This is about YOU. This is about you practically ending our friendship over something that isn't even real and then going behind my back and doing the same fucking thing that you hated me for!"

Albus looked at me for a few moments. I blinked slowly, trying to reel in my anger. _Breathe._ "What do you mean 'over something that isn't even real'?"

"What?" I said exasperatedly.

"You said I was going to end our friendship over something that isn't even real. What does that mean?"

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Oh, for god's sake, Albus, I was only 'dating'"—I held up air quotes—"Hadley so that I could break his heart and make Malfoy jealous."

Albus looked completely dumbfounded. "Wait—what?"

"I don't want to talk about that yet!" I said, annoyed. "I want to talk about you and Lysander!"

Albus sighed. "I'm sorry," he started quickly. "But… I mean, it didn't really _mean_ anything. I'm just horny and Lysander is _there_ and he's _familiar_ and he knows what I want and what I like and… We aren't, like, a couple or anything…" He trailed off.

"You're still in love with him."

Albus just shrugged, looking defeated.

"Even after _everything_."

Again, he shrugged. "I can't help it."

And then it clicked. Sort of. _"I can't help it."_ And who could, really? I couldn't help it that I was grinning like an idiot over Malfoy and all I could think about was what would have happened if I he hadn't had the Quiddtich practice excuse. I couldn't help it that I'd never felt _sexy_ or _sexual_ until I'd met him. I couldn't help it that he had me thinking about things that I had almost never thought about in all my seventeen years. And he couldn't help it either. He couldn't help it that he wanted a girl who was five years his junior _and_ his student. There was nothing either of us could do, really, and wasn't that the rub of it all?

Silence lapsed for several moments. I didn't want to fight him. I didn't want us to hate each other over things like this. I just wanted to go back to normal. I took a deep breath.

"I want to have sex with Malfoy," I said after hopping onto a desk. Without questioning the sudden change of subject, Albus turned a chair around and straddled it so that he could rest his arms on the back.

"Don't we all."

"I'm serious," I said. "I think I almost had sex with him the other day."

His eyes widened so much that I laughed.

I told him everything. I told him about my plan to make Hadley fall in love with me and then to break up with him in the worst way possible—although I hadn't thought that all the way through on the exactly _how_. I told him about my kiss with Malfoy on the night of the concert.

"That's why he let you go?"

"I figure he felt bad about the whole thing especially after kissing me."

Albus chuckled.

I told him about going back later that night and I told him about the incidents in the classroom. I told him about the looks and the desire I felt—the likes of which I had never felt or known before.

"Gross," he said.

And then I got to that night—the night with Hadley. Here, I explained more about what I had been doing to make Hadley love me. I told him about how hard it had been. How sometimes it made me physically ill. How I couldn't sleep some nights because I hated what I was doing. He asked me why I did it, and I told him I needed one last thing to get him back. I needed one thing to make him understand how he'd made me feel because he still just didn't fucking get it. Albus said he understood. Then I told him about the classroom, and how I could tell Hadley wanted to go further but how all I could think about was Malfoy and how Hadley repulsed me and how it was so much like _before_ that it was almost frightening. I was about to tell him about Malfoy coming in to rescue me when Albus cut me off.

"He forced himself on you?"

"Al—"

"That fucking bastard—did he…?"

"No!" I said frantically. "Malfoy came in. I thought he would hit Hadley."

"He's a teacher."

"I don't think he cared in that moment."

Albus grinned. "What a white fucking knight."

"That's exactly what I thought."

And then I told him about the next morning, but for some reason I left out the tooth-brushing. I didn't think he'd get it. I thought he would think it was weird and insignificant and I didn't want him to lessen it for me. That had been one of the best moments of my life, and I didn't want it to feel like anything other than that by risking the views of an outsider. He wouldn't see how erotic it was or how intimate or domestic it was. He wasn't there. He wouldn't know Scorpius's body language or the way he'd been looking at me. He just wouldn't understand.

So I skipped to the talking and the making out.

"And you almost had sex?"

"I don't know. I think so?" I told him what he said before I left.

"Holy shit…" he looked at the floor, thinking. "You almost had sex with Malfoy."

I laughed. "I know!"

"This is insane."

"I know."

"Shit like this only happens in movies. To people way cooler than us."

"I know."

He paused. "Are you…" he looked at me. "Are you _going_ to have sex with him?"

I smiled. "I hope so."

Albus whooped. "This is crazy." I just laughed. Then he paused and studied me hard for several moments. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Ly."

"It's okay," I said, even though it wasn't.

"No, it's not," he said. Bastard could always read my mind. "But it wasn't like we were sneaking around."

"It was just that one time?"

Albus looked at the ground.

"Albus…" I warned.

"There was one other thing last week. Just some snogging," Albus added quickly.

I sighed. "It's your life," I said with a defeated shrug. "I can't stop you." I then looked up at him and narrowed my eyes. "But if this blows up in your face, I get to say 'I told you so.'"

Albus smiled. "Okay."

I sighed again. "But I won't leave you. I'm here no matter what."

Albus's smiled faded a bit. "You're a better friend than me."

"I know," I said with a smile. I didn't want to fight anymore and I didn't want to think about everything from before. Hadley was done. I was done with that stupid shit with him. I just wanted Malfoy and I wanted my best friend back. I didn't want him with Lysander, but I guessed I would just have to pick my battles.

"I really am sorry," he said. "I shouldn't have…"

"You shouldn't have," I said. "But I get it."

Albus stood up. "Come on, kid," he said. "We gotta get you ready to lose that v-card."

"Albus!"

He grinned.

* * *

_Next chapter:_

_Albus and Hugo react to what Hadley did to Rose._


	14. Boys

_Thank you so much to all of you! Your feedback means the world. _

_This chapter is rated M for language and sexual content..._

* * *

_I feel it, you feel it_

_That this was meant to be  
__I know it, you know it  
__That you were made for me  
__We can't deny this any longer  
__Day by day it's getting stronger  
__I want it, you want it  
__It's what the people want to see_

_We're like Romeo and Juliet  
__Families can't divide us  
__Like the tallest mountain on the widest sea  
__Nothing's big enough to hide us  
__When we make love it's overwhelming  
__I just touch the heavens_

_You're an angel._

_-Leona Lewis_

* * *

**Chapter 14: Boys**

I was walking across the grounds carrying a book in my hand. I had finished up my schoolwork and I wanted to use the fall evening to my advantage. I wore tight jeans and a light orange sweater that clashed terribly with my hair over a tan v-neck shirt.

I was looking for a good spot by the lake when I saw the large crowd of people standing around shouting and whispering all at once. I frowned and walked up to the edge of the circle.

"What's going on?" I asked a fifth year Gryffindor I recognized. She widened her eyes when she saw me but didn't say anything. My frown deepened. "Okay…" I said slowly and rolled my eyes before I pushed my way through the crowd.

When people saw it was me pushing through, they parted fairly easily, and many of them whispered and pointed at me.

"What the fuck is everyone staring at?" I asked right before I got to the inner edge of the circle. I was looking at the members of the crowd who were gawking at me and something over my shoulder. I turned around. "Oh, goddammit," I said.

There in the middle of this thick circle of people were my brother and my cousin, beating the life out of my old boyfriend.

"Albus!" I shouted. But he couldn't hear me over the crowd of people yelling. "Albus! Hugo! STOP!" I reached forward to try to grab Hugo but he just pushed my arm away and went back to kicking Hadley in the ribs. "Holy shit." At first glance it had seemed like just three guys rolling around, but now it was looking serious. I started to feel a sliver of fear trailing up my spine. "Albus, seriously!" I called out, trying to make my voice heard above the crowd. I sucked in a huge breath. "Goddammit! ALBUS SEVERUS POTTER AND HUGO ARTHUR WEASLEY STOP THIS NOW!"

After a few more seconds the two of them stopped. Albus looked over his shoulder at me and Hugo looked up from where he was standing. Albus had a cut across his cheek that had a small trickle of blood coming out of it, and the sleeve of Hugo's shirt was ripped and his lip was swollen and bleeding a bit. Other than that the boys looked relatively unscathed.

The same could not be said for Hadley, who was slowly standing up, covered in blood, dirt, and bruises.

"What the hell are you doing?" I rolled my eyes. "Fighting like fucking muggles."

Before they could say anything, someone else was pushing through the crowd. I looked over to my right—and then down—when tiny old Flitwick emerged.

"What is happening?" he said. Then, "Oh," after he realized. He looked truly shocked. Like this was something he rarely ever saw.

"Detentions for all of you," he squeaked.

"Professor!" Hadley tried to protest, but he instead clutched his ribcage and doubled over a bit.

"You should get to the hospital wing, Mr. Underwood," Flitwick said before turning around and raising his small arms. "Clear out!" he said as loud as he could. "All of you!"

After a few groans, slowly people began to shuffle away. A few guys patted Hugo and Albus on the back. Hugo grinned at a Ravenclaw girl who gave him a coy smile before leaving with the rest of the crowd. I rolled my eyes.

"What the fuck was that?" I asked the three of them who were still standing there.

"Your fucking family attacked me," Hadley said, trying to wipe away some blood. Albus moved forward as if to start swinging again, but I charged forward and pushed him back.

"Stop," I hissed. I looked over my shoulder. "You need to go to the hospital," I said to Hadley.

"Rose—"

"Go," I ordered. "Now."

After a look in my direction for a few seconds—an apologetic look that meant nothing to me—Hadley turned and limped his way back up to the castle.

I backed up and looked squarely at Hugo and Albus with my hands on my hips.

"Well?" I said.

Hugo shrugged, wiping his lip. "I don't care, Rose," he said. "Albus told me what he did—"

"You _told_ him!"

"Of course I fucking told him," Albus said with an angry scowl on his face. "He deserved to know."

"I told you that in confidence—"

"He's off the team, Rose," Hugo said.

"Hugo—"

"I'm serious," he snapped. "I don't want any guy like that on my team."

"Well you can't just kick him off the team for no reason—"

"NO REASON—"

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?"

"—and I'm not telling anyone what happened so McGonagall won't let you do it."

"I'm the captain, she'll let me do what I want."

He had a point. "Hugo, please. Don't make this more humiliating for me."

He clenched his jaw and Albus swung his fist through the air angrily before turning his back to us and cursing.

"I can take care of myself," I said.

"Apparently not," Hugo shot back. I narrowed my eyes at him, and he sighed. "At least tell me you're through with this guy. Please."

"I am," I said quickly. "It's over."

"Does he know that?" Hugo asked.

"I'll talk to him."

"I don't want you anywhere near him!" Albus shouted, turning around.

"Agreed," Hugo said firmly.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, shut up, both of you. I can deal with him. Just… No more fighting, idiots." I turned to go, leaving the two scuffed up boys in my wake, but then I got a feeling. A warm, fuzzy feeling. How dare those idiots make me feel good about the fact that they can't use their words so they use their fists like muggles. How dare they make me get the warm fuzzies. _Ugh_. I turned back to them. "Thank you," I said. "I love you both, I guess." Hugo grinned, Albus smirked, and I just rolled my eyes and walked away.

_Boys_.

* * *

The next morning, Albus and I had double potions. I was wriggling with excitement to see Scorpius. I was so antsy and fidgety that Albus had to grab my arm halfway to the dungeons.

"_Get a grip, Weasley."_

When we sat down, Scorpius wasn't sitting at his desk at the front of the classroom like he normally did. I rolled my eyes. I knew it was because of me. He didn't want to risk giving me _eyes_ for everyone to see before class started. He was afraid he wouldn't be able to hide his feelings. I grinned to myself and Albus kicked me under the table.

About a minute after we got into the room, Hadley came sauntering in with his group of Gryffindors. He was looking awfully confident for a man with his arm in a sling, a black eye, and bruises all over his face and body. I also noticed that he winced when he sat down. I felt Albus tense beside me.

"Cool it, Potter," I said in a warning tone.

A few minutes later, Scorpius came striding in to begin class. As always, he looked heavenly. His hair was swept to one side and his gray eyes were bright. He was in a terrific mood. It was almost alarming. I thought maybe it had to do with our encounter on Saturday morning, but surely he wasn't that happy because of a snogging session—albeit a rather _intense_ snogging session—that had happened three days ago. I frowned.

"What's up with Malfoy?" Albus whispered to me.

"No idea. He—"

"Mr. Potter!" Malfoy called out, jolting us both.

"Sorry, professor," Albus said. "I was just… er… explaining something to Rose."

Malfoy looked pleased. "Very good, Mr. Potter." He nodded slowly. "Ten points to Slytherin."

A confused and shocked frown settled onto my face. Albus just looked over at me and shrugged, equally bemused.

Malfoy was explaining something complicated. He was explaining about chemical reactions and mixing potions and experimentation, but I was hardly listening. I was just watching him. Pacing across the front of the classroom confidently—gesturing toward the board, calling on students—completely in his element. I sat with my elbow on the desk and my chin in my hand, dazed. He was so bloody sexy the way he walked and talked, never rushing, always deliberate. I shivered. My mind wandered. For probably the hundredth time since Saturday morning, I started to imagine what would have happened if I'd stayed. What we would have done if he had just let me skip practice. I imagined him removing my shirt, slowly, deliberately, like the way he spoke to us. I imagined him sliding my pants off with purpose but with passion, like the way he taught his students. I imagined his hands trailing up, his fingers hooking into the straps of my bra. His chest—

"Mr. Potter," Malfoy called out again. I jumped.

Albus looked up. He'd been doodling on the corner of the otherwise blank parchment on which he was supposed to be taking notes.

"What is this?" He was holding up a small plant.

Everyone in the class seemed to be confused. Was it a trick question? I narrowed my eyes at Malfoy.

"Er…" Albus paused. "Dandelion root?"

"Correct! Five points to Slytherin."

I gaped at Malfoy's back as he turned and started writing on the board again.

A bit later, Albus had actually started taking notes and he raised his hand slowly. Malfoy seemed giddy to call on him.

"Yes! Mr. Potter, yes!"

Albus was caught off guard.

"Er, sorry, Professor, I was just wondering if you could repeat that last bit," he said slowly, trying to gauge Malfoy's reaction. He generally didn't like repeating himself.

"Oh, right, right, sorry, I was speaking a bit quickly and this is quite a confusing topic." He repeated the last thing he'd said. "Make sense, Potter?" Albus nodded.

"Thanks, professor."

"Oh, my pleasure," Malfoy said with a broad smile. "Fifteen points to Slytherin for being brave enough to help out your fellow students."

My jaw nearly hit the floor.

The rest of the class played out similarly to this. Albus would ask a question or Malfoy would call on him, and Malfoy would award him points for anything he said or did. Everyone in the class seemed too confused to comment. He didn't do it with anyone else. He awarded no other points to any other students for answering his questions or asking questions of their own. But he smiled at them and answered happily. He brushed it off if someone was obviously not paying attention and couldn't answer, but he seemed to be _rewarding_ Albus for even the simplest things. It wasn't until almost near the end of class when I realized what was going on.

I was taking notes about something Malfoy had said about the magical properties of figs when I heard a quill drop in Hadley's direction. Malfoy's head snapped over to him when Hadley moved to bend and pick it up.

"Mr. Underwood, what are you doing?" Malfoy said sharply.

"I—" He looked confused. "I dropped—"

"Twenty points from Gryffindor for disrupting my class."

That was when I understood.

_Boys_.

As soon as class was over, I nodded toward the door to tell Albus to go on without me. He arched an eyebrow.

"Shut up," I whispered before he smirked and left the classroom with Lucy.

As the last people trickled out, I noticed that Malfoy was gathering the papers on his desk much more slowly than he usually did. I left my bag sitting on the floor next to my table and walked up to the railing that separated his desk from the rest of the classroom.

"I know what you were doing," I said, bracing my hands on the railing and leaning forward.

"Oh?" he said, without looking up.

"I'm not an idiot," I said. "Asking him to identify dandelion root? Something a first year could do?" I lowered my voice. "You're so obvious."

"Hmm," Malfoy said, reaching for his quill and jotting something down on one of his loose papers.

"Who told you that Albus and Hugo beat up Hadley?"

Malfoy smiled, still not looking up at me. He shrugged. "Teachers talk."

I decided to change tactics.

"I enjoyed class today," I said, trying to make my voice sound seductive and hoping it worked.

"You did?" Malfoy asked casually. _Why won't he look at me!_

"Yes." I moved my hands up so I could take my robe off. It fell in a pool at my feet. I could see him staring at a point on his desk, trying not to look at me but having been successfully distracted. "It's easy to enjoy this class," I said as I began unbuttoning my white shirt. I pulled it out of my skirt and pulled it off my shoulders before I let it drop on top of my robe. "When the professor is so sexy."

Malfoy's head snapped up and he looked at me right as my hands found the clasp of my bra. Instead of unhooking it, I dropped my arms and smiled.

"Seems I've got your attention now."

"You always have my attention," he responded huskily. His voice sent a chill ripping across my skin. He picked up his wand and pointed it at the door of the classroom before throwing it down and walking swiftly around his desk and down the platform until he was to me. He hauled me in his arms, pulling me against his chest as he wrapped his arms around me, trapping my own arms behind my back. His face was inches from mine.

I tipped my head back so I could look at him better. My breath caught in my throat for a moment before I could speak. "You rewarded Albus for beating up Hadley," I finally managed to say.

"You're damn right I did."

"I think McGonagall might frown upon that," I said breathily. He was just so close. My eyes fluttered.

Scorpius chuckled. A low, sexy sound. "I think she might also frown on this," he said right before capturing my mouth with his own.

His tongue invaded quickly, making me feel weak as his kisses got deeper and deeper, making me surrender. I tried to free my hands, but his arms were wrapped too tightly around me and I couldn't. Kissing him, being with him like this, there was no feeling like this. It was almost better than flying. It was almost better than music.

I whimpered as his mouth left mine and went down to my neck. He was biting and sucking—sending little lances of pleasure and pain right to my core. I moaned.

"Scorpius…"

At the sound of his name, he growled, bent over and gripped the back of my thighs so he could lift my legs up and around his waist. I made a small noise as my mouth fell open from the mild shock, and I was finally able to wrap my arms around his neck. I kissed him hard as he carried me into his office. He kicked the door open and then subsequently kicked it shut when we were inside. He pressed me up against the door, and that was when I became aware that my skirt was bunched up around my hips and the only thing separating me from him was a pair of small, purple lace underwear. But even that fabric was too much.

I tipped my head back as his mouth went to my jaw and he began to trail small kisses and nips along it.

"You drive me crazy," he breathed into my ear. I sighed and moved so I could push my hips against his. He groaned and bit my earlobe. I bit my lip and pulled him closer, wrapping my arms tightly around his neck.

Then, I tightened my legs around his waist and he turned us around. I made a small noise of surprise when he dipped me down and my back hit a hard, flat surface. He bent over me, kissing me, his pelvis making small movements against mine.

I sighed his name again as I reached down to pull his shirt out of his trousers and up, up, over his head. As soon as it was tossed to the side, I raked my nails down his chest and he groaned.

I needed more. I was breathing so heavily and so erratically and I could feel this intense need—this unbelievable pressure—building up inside me and I knew that the only way to relieve it would be to get rid of the stupid, ridiculous, intrusive clothing that was separating us.

I reached down and began to fumble with his belt buckle. He grabbed my wrist to still my movements. I pulled my mouth away from his so I could look at him.

"What?" I said, my breathing heavy.

"We can't—"

"Can't what?" I interrupted. I moved my other hand so I was cupping him through his trousers. "You want to."

"Of course I do," he growled.

"Then come on," I pleaded, trying to free my other wrist.

"You—I can't. You're a…"

"Who cares?" I said, knowing what he was going to say. "I don't care. I want you. Please."

"Rose…" he groaned. The grip on my wrist loosened a bit and I took the opportunity to yank it free. I fumbled with his belt until it was hanging open and I quickly unbuttoned and unzipped his fly and my hands were there, gripping him. "Christ," he moaned.

"I know you want this," I said as I began to stroke. I felt bold, powerful, holding him in my hands like this. He was heavy in my hands and I could feel the blood pulsing as I gripped him.

He braced his hands on either side of me as I continued to stroke. Slowly. "You're a virgin," he said in a hoarse voice.

"Can't stay one forever," I whispered, picking up the pace. "Scorpius..."

"Rose… I don't want you to feel like you have to do this. I'm okay with just kissing you."

I arched an eyebrow. "Are you?" I said, gripping him a bit harder. He keened, and I bit my lip, trying to fight a moan. That was the sexiest thing I had ever seen.

I didn't know what had gotten into me. I didn't know if it was the tension that had been building between us since we'd met or if it had to do with our previous encounter, but I wanted this. I wanted him.

It had never been like this with Hadley. I had never felt so much desire, the need to do something—to have something and to have it right then. It had almost always been forced with Hadley. If he wanted me to touch him, he would guide my hand into his pants. If he wanted to touch me, he could move his hand into my pants or under my skirt and do it. That was as far as it had ever gotten, much to his frustration. He had just never given me that feeling—this feeling I had deep down inside with Scorpius. He had never put me on such an edge, pulled me so tightly, that if he didn't touch me soon, I would scream. He had never made me see stars with a simple caress. He never had me trembling and writhing with need and pleasure.

This was like nothing else.

This was Scorpius.

"You don't have to do this," Scorpius said. The veins in his neck were bulging and as he hovered over me, his length in my hands, he looked like it was taking every ounce of his power to maintain his control.

"I want to," I whispered. I wanted to more than anything I had ever wanted in the entire world.

He looked at me. His eyes were like silver lava. I sighed.

Then, he reached down and pulled my hand out of his pants. The disappointment I felt was like no feeling I had ever felt before. I felt tears sting the corners of my eyes. This was humiliating.

But as soon as the humiliation was there, it was gone, because the most amazing feeling in the world lanced through me, and I sat up on my elbows as his finger slowly circled inside me. He was looking at me with so much heat in his eyes that I swore they were going to burst into flame.

Then he slipped another finger inside me, I moaned and tilted my head back, moving my hips so that I could meet his fingers. I heard him groan, and then I collapsed onto my back, reaching my arms above my head and gripping the other end of his desk. Then I felt this strange sensation. He had curled his fingers up when he'd pulled outward and pleasure shot through me, making me jerk up onto my elbows again. My skin was singing with pleasure, and then his thumb flicked at a sensitive area, and I cried out.

"Fuck, Rose," he said, watching me. "I don't…" He moved forward and rested his head against mine as he continued to move his fingers in and out slowly while his thumb made circles on that sensitive spot.

"I want you, Scorpius," I breathed, panting. "Please." My breath was coming out so hard, but not as hard as his. I could see that his control was slipping. I reached up and gripped the back of his neck. "I want this." If he stopped now, I would die.

"If…" He was breathing so heavily. "If you want to stop at any time, you'll say?" I nodded. "Promise?" I nodded again, but he shook his head. "I need you to say it."

I sighed. It was hard to talk when his fingers were inside me. As if he sensed that, he slipped them out and I groaned in disappointment. "No…" I whimpered.

He smiled. "Just tell me what I need to hear," he said, his breathing getting under control a bit.

"If I want you to stop, I'll tell you. I promise," I said. Then I pulled back a bit so I could look at him. "Now, please, just… I want you. Now."

He looked at me for a long, hard moment, his eyes dark and searching. Then I caressed him over his pants and he snapped. Things started happening quickly then.

"Dammit," he said as he yanked my underwear to the side and I tugged his pants down at the same time so that he sprung free and I wasn't nervous. He was of considerable size and I had never done this before, but I didn't care. All I could think about was getting that pleasure I'd felt briefly while his fingers had been inside me. I wanted him inside me more than I wanted to breathe in that moment, and suddenly he was there, pushing slowly in. He was about halfway there when I reached my hands down and put them on his behind and pushed him forward the rest of the way. I arched my back and he groaned, leaning down and putting his head in the crook of my neck.

It felt strange. It didn't hurt as much as Lucy and Meg had talked about it hurting. Mostly it felt good and I wanted him to move. I was trembling with need, the pleasure pulled tight inside me like the strings of my ukulele. He was breathing heavily into my neck and I was pulsing around him and I tilted my pelvis up a bit, trying to will him.

"Stop it," he growled. "I'm trying to be gentle."

"Just move," I urged in a breathy whisper. He complied and began to slowly thrust. In. Out. In. Out. I tightened my legs around his waist and relaxed so he could fill me all the way. I whimpered, he moaned a curse, and I asked him for more. Gradually, he picked up the pace of his thrusts. I put my arms above my head and he moved so that he could brace himself above me. My eyes were shut tight as I tried to absorb all the feelings—the minor discomfort, the unfamiliarity, but most of all, the extreme, earth shattering pleasure of it all. I arched and moaned loudly, and that encouraged him to move faster. _Finally_.

I opened my eyes and he was studying me intently. The intensity in his eyes alarmed me and I gasped. He kept moving, and then suddenly he put his hands on my hips, leaned back, and pulled me to the edge of the desk so that we were at a ninety-degree angle. He pushed. Harder. Faster. _Deeper_. I cried out, not withholding any of the sounds that wanted to escape. I was hardly coherent—unable to focus on anything except for Scorpius moving inside me, making me feel like I had never felt before, making me shiver and buck against him, just wanting some way to relieve the pressure.

I never really believed in God with a capital G or anything. I think Hermione did, and Ron sort of always went with what she believed in. But in that moment, with Scorpius, I was thanking God that I had waited—that I hadn't let Hadley pressure me. And I was thanking God that this felt so good, and I was begging God, asking him or her or whoever to urge Scorpius for more. I wanted God to know how good this felt and that I was thanking him for it.

And then everything exploded around my eyes. I saw fireworks and my legs stiffened and I was crying out loudly and continuously, calling Scorpius's name, moaning more, wanting this feeling to never ever end.

It wasn't until I came down that I realized Scorpius was still moving. I opened my eyes and saw this his eyes were screwed shut tight in concentration and his mouth formed a loose "O" of pleasure. I reached up and put my hands on the side of his face and his eyes flew open and he bent down to kiss me hard. Then he leaned up, and I went with him, sitting up on the desk, holding onto him for dear life as he went in, out. It amazed me that I even had any ability left to control my actions.

"Again," he growled. For some reason, even though my brain was mush, I knew what he meant. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck and moved my pelvis to meet his and I was moaning continuously and so loudly—too loudly, maybe—and then I felt it again. The quickening, the trembling, the aching feeling that meant I was on the verge, and Scorpius was breathing so loudly in my ear, cursing occasionally, and his hot breath was making me shiver, and I was soaring.

I wrapped my arms tighter around my neck, crying out, coming again, riding the wave as he pushed on. Shaking violently with the force of what had just happened—twice—and he finally released himself inside me with a shout, collapsing a moment later so that we fell back and he was pressed against me on the desk.

We stayed like that for an eternity, catching our breaths and holding each other.

Finally, with a small grunt, Scorpius leaned up and pulled out of me. He buckled up his trousers, and took a step back. He sighed and smiled. His shirt was still off and I got a good chance to admire his chest and torso.

"God, you're sexy," I said quietly. He smirked.

"You aren't half bad, either," he said. Then he turned a bit serious as he pulled his chair around and sat down, facing me. "You okay?"

"What do you mean?" I narrowed my eyes. I pushed my skirt down and sat up. I ignored the small shooting pain I felt when I did so.

"Pain?" he said tentatively. "I don't know… regret?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, idiot," I said.

He smiled. "Just checking." He was watching me, and I felt like I needed to say something. I knew I had to say something to make this moment feel real because in that moment, I wasn't even sure if all of that had just happened. I'd just had sex with Malfoy. He was sitting there on his chair, facing me, watching me while I sat on the edge of his desk in my bra and my school skirt. I looked at him, and his chest looked incredible and I wanted to touch him. And amazingly, I realized I wanted him again. And again. Even though I was exhausted and he'd taken me to the edge twice, I wanted more.

I looked up at him and saw that he was staring at me. Heat pooled low in my stomach.

"Did you enjoy it?" he asked me huskily.

I nodded and bit the corner of my lip.

"Everything you thought your first time would be?" he said, smirking.

I rolled my eyes. "Are you making a joke about the fact that you just took my virginity?"

His smirk slipped and he frowned.

I shook my head. "I'm joking," I said.

He looked at me, and his gray eyes were so entrancing that I almost didn't hear what he said.

"But you did like it?"

I looked at him, shaking myself out of the trance in which he so often put me. "I loved it," I breathed. "It was perfect." His breath hitched, and I smiled. "In fact," I reached behind me and unhooked my bra. His eyes widened very slightly. "I was wondering why you buttoned up your pants." I grinned. "I want to go again."

* * *

_Next chapter:_

_"You always have to be so fucking honest! Just—why can't you just say 'I missed you. I—I wanted to come back to you every second. I love you.' Why can't you just say that?" _


	15. Present Day II

_A/N: Thank you so much to all of those who have reviewed this story so far. I absolutely adore hearing from all of you, so keep it up. A special thanks goes to **Jampaqd** who was my 100th reviewer! You should also all thank **district 9 3-4** for the quick update. I hope this makes that 20 hours a bit more bearable!  
_

_Everyone please keep letting me know what you think, and enjoy this next chapter!  
_

_Chapter rated T for language and mildly suggestive themes.  
_

* * *

**Chapter 15: Present Day II**

This is… awkward.

That is the only appropriate way to explain this situation between Scorpius and me.

After the initial meeting—that kiss that had taken my breath away—we are now sitting across from each other, waiting for our drinks, and it's…

Awkward.

This makes no sense because Scorpius and I are never awkward. Since he had first kissed me almost two years ago, we have always been comfortable with each other. I remember the first night we spent together. Not the night we first made love, but the night that he stayed up and watched me sleep after my old boyfriend at Hogwarts had been an idiot. He had walked in on Hadley Underwood forcing himself on me, carried me to his room, and watched me sleep. We had woken up, brushed our teeth together—something that I still think about to this day—and talked comfortably with each other. We were never awkward. We _are_ never awkward. But this… It's… tense. It's confusing. It's difficult.

That is something I am used to. I am used to things being difficult. Scorpius can be negative. He likes to give me _frequent_—what he calls—"reality checks." He can be outrageously stubborn, not to mention his jealousies that make absolutely no sense. It can certainly be difficult. We can get into screaming matches that end in fire and passion—but they always end. And we are never awkward.

But this? There is no other way to say it.

I look up, and he's looking at me. He smiles. As always, my heart melts.

And just like that—just as easily as if he had flipped a switch—it's no longer awkward. I reach a hand forward and he grins as he reaches forward to take it.

"You look incredible," he says.

I don't know why, but I blush. "Thanks," I murmur.

"Your lips…"

I smile. "You like?"

He chuckles and I shiver—I love the sound of that low, sexy chuckle. "You have no idea."

My heart is pounding in my chest. He's looking at me—that way that he looks at me when he seems to be looking _through me_, that way he looks at me right before he takes me to bed—or on some other surface—and I can't think straight. I'm trying to think of something clever to say, something that will make him chuckle again or roll his eyes at me with a smile. I'm trying to make him remember to never, ever leave again.

But all I can manage to say is, "I missed you."

He smiles. It's kind of a sad smile. But it still makes my heart pound. He's caressing my knuckles with his thumb and it's like I can feel that caress all the way in my bones, in my marrow. It's like I can feel it to the very center of me, at my core. I try not to sigh with pleasure. He has no idea how much I missed his touch.

"I missed you so much, Rose."

I try to smile seductively as I tilt my head to one side. "What did you miss about me?" He's still caressing my knuckles and I want more of his touch. I want his hands in my hair, around my waist, on my neck, running down the planes of my stomach, making me tingle with need.

He smiles, too. If he's trying to smile seductively, too, his definitely works. He looks down at our joined hands. "I missed these hands," he says, watching as he caresses my knuckles. His hand then slides up to my forearm. "I missed this skin." I sigh and my eyes flutter. He looks up at me, and I can see the heat in his eyes.

"What else?" My voice is breathy. His eyes flick down to my mouth.

"I missed your lips."

Unconsciously, I stick out the tip of my tongue and run it across my top lip. My mouth just feels so dry. I can't concentrate. His eyes move back up to meet mine, and they darken.

"I missed your eyes." He looks down at my dress. "That dress brings them out." He slides his hand up my arm and then slides it back down so he can clasp my hand again. Then he turns it over and brings it up to his mouth, kissing my open palm. I sigh, and my head rolls a bit on my shoulders as my eyes flutter shut. He then tugs my arm gently as he trails his mouth up my hand and to my wrist before placing a soft kiss there.

"Can't we just go back to my place?" I whisper, opening my eyes to look at him.

He smiles and puts my arm back down on the table. Before he can say anything, though, the waiter comes back with our food. I sigh and reluctantly pull my hand away from his.

The waiter asks if we need anything, and I just watch Scorpius as he asks for glasses of wine and sparkling water. He's so sexy when he's like this.

The waiter leaves and Scorpius smiles at me before looking down at his food and digging in.

The meal is fairly silent. It isn't the same awkward silence as earlier. It's a tense, heated silence, full of unsaid words. I mostly watch him. I watch the way his mouth moves as he chews. I watch the way his hands grip the knife and fork as he slices the steak he's eating. I watch as he tips wine back into his mouth and then licks his lips. I could watch him forever.

"Aren't you going to eat," Scorpius says without looking up at me. "Or are you just going to stare at me all night?" He's smirking at his plate, and then he takes a bite and looks up at me.

Of course, I'm blushing. "Sorry," I say. "I just…" I trail off. I'm not sure what I should say.

But he understands. "I know," he says.

A bit later, we're finished, waiting on a dessert we're going to share. I finally decide it's time to talk about what I can tell we both don't want to talk about. I know that no matter how I broach the topic, it's going to lead to a fight. I sigh.

"So, how was it?"

He looks at me and frowns. "The steak?"

I roll my eyes. He narrows his at me, smirking. _Light_. _This is good_. _Keep it light._ "America."

He nods with a small smile. "It was good. A strange and enlightening experience."

For some reason, that makes me angry. I'm not sure why. Is it his casual attitude about being away from me for a month? Is it the way he smiles when he says it? Is it just the _way_ he says it? The anger pulses through me and I wait a moment before I answer, knowing that I'm going to make him mad.

"That's good to hear," I say. "I'm glad being away from me—_enlightens_ you so much."

"Rose—"

"It's fine," I say with a humorless laugh, suddenly so angry that I can't even think straight. "I'm not sure what I expected you to say anyway." I looked at him. "I'm glad you had a good time."

He clenches and unclenches his jaw. "You wanted me to say I was miserable without you, that—that I couldn't wait to come home and that every day I was miserable and I hate America and I hate my father for making me go and… what?"

That stings me. Mostly because it's true and that _is_ what I wanted and he knew it. "Something like that," I say bitterly.

He sighs. "Rose, I did miss you, and there were a lot of days when I _was_ miserable."

That only makes me feel marginally better. But I don't say anything. I reach forward and go to grab my wine, but thinking better of it, I go for the sparkling water instead. But just as I'm reaching for it, he grabs my hand, and I look up at him. He looks intense, anxious.

"I had a lot of time to think," he says quietly. "It was good for me."

I look at him. "It wasn't good for me."

"Rose—"

"God, Scorpius!" I say exasperatedly. "You—can you just, for once, throw your stupid _honesty_ out the window and just fucking tell me what I want to hear?"

He gapes at me. "What are you talking about?"

"You always have to be so fucking honest," I say, my voice raising a bit. "Just—why can't you just say 'I missed you. I—I wanted to come back to you every day. I love you.' Why can't you just say that?"

He shakes his head, that way he does when he's trying to make me feel like a child.

"Things were complicated before I left."

"Things are always complicated with us."

"And whose fault is that?" he snaps.

I'm jolted, confused. What is he saying? "Scorp… I… I'm not sure what you mean."

"I'm not a complicated person, Rose. I—as much as you hate it—I say what I think. I tell you what I feel. And you—you're just constantly… pushing at me, trying to make me mad or something."

"That's not true—"

"You hate my friends."

I scoff and gape at him. "Your friends are pretentious arseholes. They hated me before they even knew me. They treated me like a child."

He gets a knowing look on his face but doesn't say anything.

"What?" I say. "Oh, because I _am_ a child? Is that it?" He doesn't say anything. "Well, fuck you, Scorpius, because me being a _child_ hasn't stopped you from fucking me for a year and a half."

"Keep your voice down," he hisses. I roll my eyes. He glares at me and reaches forward to grab the glass of wine that I haven't touched, and he downs it in a few gulps, looking agitated as he does so.

In that moment, the waiter comes back carrying a large piece of chocolate cake that Scorpius and I almost always get when we come here. He doesn't know that I know he doesn't really like chocolate. The first time we came here, I had gotten so excited about sharing this German chocolate cake that he'd just smiled and agreed to it. It wasn't until later that I'd remembered that he didn't like chocolate. The next time we came here, though, he'd smiled and ordered the same cake for dessert. I'd smiled at him. He made me so happy. He loved making me happy. And I loved him for that.

I order another glass of wine even though I never touched my first one, and I take a bite of the cake as soon as the waiter leaves, but it sours in my mouth. I put my fork down and look up to see him watching me. I look at him, my chest heaving and my adrenaline pumping with the anger I feel at him.

I sigh. "You left," I say. He frowns. "You went to America for a month and you never even asked me what I thought about it. We—there was no conversation. One day you tell me you have to do some favor for your father. There was no room for discussion." I can feel a lump form in my throat. "I didn't want you to go. I love you."

"Rose…"

"You didn't even seem upset that you had to go. Like—like you didn't care that you were leaving me behind. And I'd just gotten back, but you didn't even care…" My voice breaks and I look down. I hate when he sees me cry. Maybe I should have cried when he said he was leaving, though. Maybe then I could have made him feel guilty enough to stay.

"Rose, you left me." I look up at him and he looks detached, looking at his fork. He always does this when he doesn't want me to know how he really feels. But that makes me happy because that usually means he's masking sadness or regret or guilt or _something_. "You took your band and you went on tour for three months—"

"We talked about the tour. You said—"

"Sometimes it's not always the words we say—"

"Are you serious? This—you're actually saying this—the guy who literally just said 'I say what I think. I tell you how I feel.'"

"It was a complicated situation."

"You could have said you didn't want me to go."

He rolls his eyes. "And have you resent me for the rest of your life? How selfish do you think I am?"

"Selfish enough to go to America and not care at all how your girlfriend feels about it."

I know my words are harsh, and it amazes me how easily they slip from my mouth. He shakes his head angrily. I can tell my words strike a chord with him—that he knows I'm right. Because as mean as it was to say, he had been selfish. He hadn't cared that he was leaving right when Albus, Ly, Nate, and I got back from our three-month tour. It was supposed to be our first night to really be together in months—we'd seen each other occasionally throughout the tour, but this night was supposed to be different—and instead it was him telling me that he was leaving the next weekend to go to America to help with his father's business.

"I had to go to help my father. You know that."

"He could have gotten someone else," I say. "You wanted to go. You wanted to get away from me."

"That's not true—"

"Of course it is. You're such a jealous person that you couldn't stand for me to go on tour with my band—"

"Of course I'm jealous when it comes to you. I'm in love with you, I'm going to be jealous—"

My heart flutters a bit, but I push on. "I talked to you about the tour. I wanted to know what you thought. We—we talked about it! You could have come with me. I told you to come with me—"

"I have a job, Rose!"

"A job that you took a leave of absence from for your father—for a business you don't care about—and not for me."

"Rose—"

"Scorpius, I went on tour to follow my dream. A—a fucking dream you have been well aware of since you've known me. I went because I wanted to pursue my fucking dream. You—you went to America to punish me. That's the difference."

He is effectively silenced by that statement. I don't know if he shuts up because he's angry or because he knows I'm right—or a combination of both—but he is silenced. And we are at an impasse.

* * *

_Next chapter:_

_The Gryffindors have a rough quidditch practice, and Scorpius and Rose exchange some late night notes (WARNING: CUTENESS AHEAD)._


	16. A Gentleman

_A/N: Okay, so I think things are getting a little confusing with my present day/past chapters. So technically all of the normal chapters are taking place in the "past," and the story is sort of like Rose thinking about how her and Scorpius got to where they are while she's in the present with Scorpius. In the "Present Day" chapters (and all will be labeled as such so there's no confusion that way), Rose and Scorpius are going through some drama and they're trying to sort things out after he gets back from an extended trip. As chapter two states, the actual meat of the story begins about a year and eight months before the present day chapters. So far the only chapters that take place in the "present" are chapter 1 and chapter 15. Eventually the timelines will meet up. Sorry if it's confusing! I just sort of wanted to try something a little different. Let me know if this clears stuff up!_

_As always, thanks to all those who reviewed, and please keep letting me know what you think (ESPECIALLY if something doesn't make sense). Enjoy this next chapter-back to the "past"!_

_Chapter rated M for language and mild sexual content._

* * *

**Chapter 16: A Gentleman**

I had sneaked back into my dormitory late the previous evening. I had hardly been able to sleep because I'd just been reliving the night over and over in my head. It had been like nothing I'd ever imagined. I remembered Meg and Lucy talking to the rest of us girls about how physically painful and painfully awkward their first times had been. I woke up with some soreness, but it was a sweet soreness—a reminder of the night before. Lucy hadn't been embarrassed to talk about sex at all, and I'd been so envious that she'd done something that I hadn't, while being too scared to do it. I remembered all the times Hadley had pushed and pushed, and I hadn't wanted to. I'd been scared and anxious and I thought it would be terrible and that I'd be terrible at it.

But it wasn't terrible, and if Scorpius's pleas for more and grunts of pleasure and sensual words in my ear were any indication, I wasn't terrible at it at all. Of course, I had nothing to compare it to, but I thought Scorpius Malfoy was a god amongst men. I remembered last night, when we'd finally collapsed onto his bed on our backs in exhaustion, I thought that there would never be a feeling like this ever again. That it had been the greatest night of my life.

But now it was the morning, and all I could think about was Scorpius, hovering above me, a bead of sweat sliding down his muscular chest, and me, instinctually, leaning forward and licking it. He'd shivered, and I'd smiled.

All I could think about were the dirty—_filthy_—words that Scorpius had whispered in my ear as he'd released himself inside me for the third time. I just couldn't stop thinking about how at one point, he had turned me on my front and yanked a fistful of my hair so I had been trapped, and there was nothing I could do but surrender to the pleasure. I hadn't really known what I was doing, but Scorpius was—of course—an amazing teacher.

Just as I was thinking about Scorpius nibbling the shell of my ear, a figure plopped down beside me and I jumped.

"It's weird seeing you at the Gryffindor table."

I looked up and saw Albus, hair tousled, green eyes bright.

I let out a shuddering breath and tried to get Scorpius off my mind. "Yeah," I said. "I didn't even realize I was sitting here." I looked around.

Albus reached forward, grabbed an abandoned _Prophet_ from the table, poured himself some coffee, and started eating a piece of toast.

"So that was weird yesterday," Albus said with a mouth full of toasted bread.

I'd started thinking about Malfoy again. "What was?" I said.

"Malfoy," Albus said, reading his paper. "Why was he doing that?"

I smiled to myself. "He was rewarding you," I said, thinking about how I had rewarded _him_ for rewarding Albus.

"For what?"

"Beating up Hadley."

Albus looked over at me, and a huge smile spread across his face. "Aww, Rose, he has a crush on you. That's so cute."

"Stop."

"I'm serious!" Albus said, laughing. "That's the stupidest, most adorable thing anyone has ever done."

I tried not to smile. "What a doof."

"What happened after class?"

Before I could answer Albus—I didn't even know if I was going to tell him everything or not—the door that the teachers came through for meals opened, and a tired but happy Scorpius Malfoy came strolling in, looking like a proud peacock. I could practically see his feathers extended behind the small smirk on his face. I rolled my eyes. _I swear_.

It only took about a second for his eyes to travel around the room and land on me. There was a small look of surprise on his face when he saw me at the Gryffindor table, but that surprise quickly faded and he gave me a dark look. A look that was trying to remind me what I'd done last night.

I blushed.

And to my mortification and annoyance (and glee, yes, okay, it made me happy), Malfoy winked.

* * *

The rest of the day was uneventful.

If you don't count the fact that by the end of the day I was so antsy from thinking about Scorpius that I had to go back to my dormitory before I was supposed to go down the pitch for practice so that I could take a cold shower.

The soreness from the night before had turned into a dull ache in between my legs—an ache that I had come to believe could only be cured by having Scorpius inside me again. Instead of the soreness being an erotic reminder of my night with Scorpius, it was now a tease, reminding me as often as it could what was missing. I tried to release some tension under the cold water of my shower.

It didn't help.

But it did almost make me late to practice, something that Hugo did not appreciate.

"Dammit, Rose."

"Sorry." I gave him a look. "What's wrong with you?"

He sighed and jerked his head. I looked over my shoulder and saw Hadley sitting on the bench watching Hugo and me. I looked back at Hugo.

"Who cares?"

Hugo whipped his head toward me angrily and stared at me. "I care," he said. "I fucking want him off the team."

"Hugo…"

"I know you said I can't kick him off, but god, Rose, I just can't stop thinking about what he did to you."

"I'm fine," I said with a smile. "Look." I twirled, and when I faced Hugo again he had the faintest hint of a smile on his face. Then it turned into a frown again almost immediately.

"I just can't—what if Malfoy hadn't showed up?"

I blushed. Even Malfoy's name sounded like a dirty word now. Luckily, Hugo didn't notice the color that went to my cheeks. "Well, he did show up. And I'm fine."

"He won't stop staring."

"Who?" My heart sped up. "Malfoy?"

Hugo gave me a confused look. "What? No, Hadley."

"Do you want me to hex his eyes shut?"

Hugo rolled his eyes. "Let's just fucking start practice," he muttered. Then he turned to the rest of the group who was waiting around, talking amongst themselves—all except Hadley—and told them to start some warm-ups.

About halfway through the practice, Hugo screamed at everyone to get on the ground. His face was red and he looked like he could spit fire. He had never looked more like our father.

"What is going on out there?" Hugo shouted. "You look like a bunch of first years at their first fucking flying lesson." I sighed, but I had to agree. I'd noticed it while I was looking for the snitch. Something was off.

One of the beaters whispered something to the other, and Hugo snapped his head in his direction.

"What?"

"Nothing… It's just… It's…"

"It's Hadley," Lucy said simply.

"Goddammit, of course it's you, Underwood!" Hadley didn't even say anything in his defense. He just stood with his head down, looking like a sad puppy dog. I rolled my eyes. It amazed me that Hadley was the one feeling sorry for himself when he was the bad guy. He had forced himself on _me_. I should be the one flying around like a freaking zombie.

Suddenly, Hugo charged up and grabbed Hadley by his collar. A few people took small steps back, knowing what had happened the other day, and sensing Hugo's anger.

"I swear to god, Underwood," Hugo growled in his face. "You better shape up. I want you off this team anyway, so _please_, just give me a fucking reason." And with that, he shoved Hadley away, mounted his broom, and screamed for everyone to get back in the air.

Hadley only got marginally better throughout the rest of practice. And Hugo only got marginally less angry. As soon as Hugo announced that practice was over ("This is pointless anyway. You guys are flying like shit."), I landed on the ground with a thud and walked up next to Hugo.

"It's gonna be okay," I murmured to him. "It's one bad day."

"Is it," Hugo grumbled before stalking off toward the castle.

I sighed, and turned to find my target. I knew there was only one way to make Hugo happy. "Hadley!" I called out. He turned, looking—pathetically—hopeful and confused. "Wait up," I said, jogging up to him.

"Hey, Rose," he said tentatively when I caught up to him. I started walking, and he followed my lead and walked toward the castle with me.

"Look," I said, cutting right to the chase. "You gotta stop this. Hugo is working really hard to make this team good, and you can't—fuck it up by... flying like an idiot and getting hit by bludgers constantly."

He sighed and looked at the ground. I was looking ahead, keeping my eyes out for any wandering eyes or ears. When he didn't say anything for a while, I rolled my eyes.

"Seriously, Hadley—"

"I'm really sorry, Rose."

"It's fine," I said. "Just get it together soon because our first game—"

"No." I looked at him and he was shaking his head lightly. "No not about—Quidditch..." He paused and looked at me. "About Friday."

I almost gasped. "That's... What, that's not..."

"I fucked up, babe. And I know you're pissed at me, but I... I want to make it up to you. I just—"

I held up a hand, enraged and bemused.

"If you seri—you can't seriously think we're still together." I stopped walking and grabbed his arm to turn him to face me. I gaped when he seemed to consider it. He looked genuinely confused. It was almost that same look he had when I'd told him I'd planned the entire thing on the train.

"Wha—I knew you were mad, but we—we didn't _talk_. I… I mean, I assumed we were just fighting."

My jaw dropped. "You must be joking. You…" I took a deep breath and stopped myself. "Look, I don't care about what happened on Friday. I'm over it. I know who you are. I've known it for a long time. I know you're a rotten guy and you don't respect anyone—"

"Then why—"

"I was going to break up with you anyway," I said, answering his question before he could ask. "I…" I considered telling him all of it. That I was just doing it so that in the end I could hurt him, and that I was just doing it to make someone else jealous. But in that split second that I paused, I knew that if I told him that, he would be the victim. If I told him that I was just using him, suddenly, he would be the one who was hurt. It would no longer be about him forcing himself on me, it would be about me tricking him, using him. I couldn't give him that satisfaction as much as I wanted to tell him to fuck himself and that I was lying to him for two weeks and that I _never_ loved him again and I never would. I wanted him to live with his guilt.

"I realized that you never changed," I said instead. "I realized that you… That you're a bad guy—that you don't care about any other person but yourself… But I don't care," I said quickly before he could get all weepy and apologetic. "I honestly don't care." I held up a hand again. I remembered I used to do that to him when we were together for real when we would fight. He hated that. "I don't love you, I don't want to be with you, and I don't want to dwell on it. I know who you are," I said again. "And this is who you are. You… At this point, you can't change it. So… I just don't want it to affect the team, which is why—that's why I'm talking to you. I'm not trying to make amends or anything. So…" I trailed off.

He sighed, looking defeated. "So you don't…"

I gaped at him. "Seriously? No. Of course not." I rolled my eyes. "But you either need to shape up on the team or get off. Grow up, get over it. I had to get over it when you cheated on me, so—and you have no right to be upset, so just… Honestly, get over it." And with that, I turned and walked the rest of the way up to the castle by myself.

It amazed me—thinking on it as I walked back—that Hadley was honestly dumb enough to think that I would seriously want to get back together with him after what he'd done. That he thought we were still dating when he'd done the exact thing—a worse thing—that he had done when we had been together before. That he had once again tried to force me to do something I didn't want to do. And not only that. But he thought I'd want to get back together after I'd… _been with_ Malfoy.

Of course, he didn't know that. And he absolutely never would. But still.

When I got back to Gryffindor Tower, I walked up the steps and from the stairwell, and I could hear a tapping noise coming from inside the dormitory. Frowning with confusion, I walked through the door to my room and looked around to find the source of the noise. None of the girls were in there. They were probably at dinner or hanging out with each other or with their boyfriends. I walked toward the noise until I looked up and saw an owl pecking at my window. My frown deepened. It wasn't completely uncommon for owls to come to our windows at odd times, but if it wasn't some kind of weird emergency, they usually just waited until the morning post.

I walked over to the window and pulled it open. The bird swooped in and landed on my bed with a rolled up piece of parchment attached to its leg by a piece of twine. I didn't recognize the owl. It wasn't Mr. Owl—okay, I got an owl when I was five and named him Mr. Owl—it wasn't Ron and Hermione's and it wasn't Uncle Harry or Aunt Ginny's. It didn't belong to any of my siblings or cousins. It was a stranger.

I tossed it a piece of toffee from my bedside table—Ron and Hermione always got so angry when I fed the owls candy, but it was all I had—and unrolled the parchment, standing in front of my bed so that the owl and I were facing each other.

It only took me a moment to recognize the scrawl in front of me.

_R—_

_Come to my office. I need to see you._

_-S_

I gaped. Was he serious? Was he seriously _summoning_ me to his office? For what? A bootie call? I rolled my eyes. I was completely gross, besides. I hadn't showered after practice because I had needed to talk to Hadley. I was covered in dirt and sweat, and it was almost 10 o'clock. I was exhausted.

But that didn't stop the jolt of excitement I got at the thought of seeing him. I wanted to see him. I wanted to go. But if there was anything I'd learned from Muggle romance novels and movies and television shows, it was that I had to be coy.

I bent over to grab my quill and inkpot from my bag. I sat down, turned the parchment over and wrote him a brief response.

_S—_

_It's late. A girl needs her beauty sleep._

_-R_

I grinned at my own cleverness, tied the parchment to the owl, and shooed it off. I then sat down on my bed and waited, grinning like a fool the entire time. A few minutes passed before I heard that tapping at my window again.

_I can't stop thinking about you. You don't want to give me a sleepless night, do you? A guy needs his beauty sleep, too._

_-S_

I smiled and put a hand to my mouth as my fingertips—on cue—began to tingle. I wanted to go. I wanted him to kiss me, I wanted him to touch me… I wanted him to make me feel the way he'd made me feel the night before. But there was a stronger motivation, and I felt it so strongly I knew that I couldn't go: I wanted him to want me.

_I wouldn't want to be caught out after hours. Who knows what a professor would do to me if he found me?_

_-R_

I bit the corner of my lower lip as I tied the parchment to the owl's foot.

This time, the response came even quicker than it had the first time.

_I'll protect you from any big, bad professors that come along._

I replied quickly, too.

_Hmm, bad, I think. But I didn't say anything about big._

I grinned at the innuendo and sent the owl on its way.

After five full minutes—while I shook my legs and checked my watch impatiently, giggling occasionally for no apparent reason—the owl was finally back, looking agitated. It clearly didn't like flying back and forth in service of the flirtation between a student and her teacher.

_Interesting. I remember hearing you say something quite to the contrary last night. You were saying it rather loudly. Maybe you thought I couldn't hear you?_

_You can come to my office and I'll show you how right you were._

_-S_

I blushed as my mouth dropped open slightly and my heart stuttered a bit. I remembered the exact moment he was talking about. It had been late in the night. I was exhausted and incoherent with pleasure. And we had been on his bed, and he'd been on his elbows, on top of me, pushing in and out so _torturously_ slow. And I had been moaning so loudly each time he pushed in because my brain was mush and I couldn't think about controlling my sounds or being aware of what I was doing—I'd been a slave to the pleasure, giving into all of it. And I could remember—I blushed fiercely—him asking me if I liked what he was doing, if this was what I wanted. His words—whispered roughly into my ear—wove deep into me and I'd cried out and dug my hands into his blonde hair as he pushed in again, deeper. Somehow, through my haze, I told him how it felt like nothing I'd ever felt before and how he was so big and how he felt so good and—again—how big he was. I hadn't even known what I was saying. And he'd smiled, bit my shoulder, pumped in deeper, in, out, again and again, until I was crying out a string of curses, losing count of how many times he'd made me come unwound like this, and succumbing, once again, to the pleasure.

I inhaled a deep, shuttering breath before turning the clean parchment over and responding.

_You, sir, are no gentleman, recounting a lady's moment of weakness. I'll see you tomorrow, and when I do, you'll have to answer for your indiscretions._

After I tied the parchment onto the owl's leg, I sat on the edge of my bed, willing myself to stay seated. I wanted to go. My legs were quivering, telling me to get up and walk down to the dungeons. Thinking about last night had my neck and chest heating up and my eyes fluttering and my heart pounding. I wanted to see him. I needed to see him. I took several deep breaths.

_Make him want you, Rose_, I told myself. _You can do this._

About a minute later, the owl swooped in and landed next to me, looking a bit less agitated. Scorpius must have given him a snack. I opened the parchment.

_See you tomorrow, baby._

_-Your Gentleman_

My heart nearly exploded.

* * *

_Next chapter:_

_Rose is in a great mood, and once again she catches Malfoy in the shower._


	17. A Good Mood

_Chapter rated M for language and sexual content.  
_

* * *

**Chapter 17: Good Mood**

I hated mornings. I hated waking up, I hated rolling out of bed, I hated brushing my hair, and I hated breakfast. I didn't like looking at anyone, and I didn't like talking to anyone.

But the next morning, for probably only the second time in my life—including the morning previous—when I woke up, I was happy. I loved mornings. I loved waking up, I loved rolling out of bed, I loved brushing my hair, and I loved breakfast. I loved looking at anyone I saw, and I loved talking to everyone.

I loved mornings because mornings meant that it was another day—and another day meant Malfoy.

My dormmates were confused. Normally when they said good morning to me, they were lucky if they got so much as a grunt out of me. But this morning, when Ainsley looked at me through the bathroom mirror where she was putting on some make up and said good morning, she stared at me through the mirror for almost fifteen seconds, speechless, after I looked up at her through the mirror, smiled, and said "good morning."

I laughed. "What's wrong?" I said when I looked at her wide eyes.

Then her wide eyes narrowed. "What happened?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're going to do something to someone today, aren't you?"

I laughed—hard this time. "No," I said, shaking my head. "I'm just in a good mood."

"Rose Weasley, I have said 'good morning' to you for the past seven years. I can count on one hand the number of times you've responded. You've certainly never responded in the last year. So," she turned to me and put a hand on her hip. "That can only mean two things. You're going to do something mean to somebody, or…" Her eyes got so wide that I laughed again. "See—you're laughing—you're getting laid."

I gaped. "What?"

She lowered her voice—as if we were sharing secrets. "You and Hadley?" she asked quietly. "Finally?"

My smiled slipped. "No," I said. "Absolutely not."

"Well—"

"We broke up."

Ainsley looked actually legitimately afraid. "Oh, no…" I shook my head and smiled at the terror in her eyes.

"I broke up with him."

She let out a slow breath. "So…?"

"I'm fine," I laughed. "But I assure you, he is not the reason I'm happy."

"Well, then what—"

"Oh."

I turned and saw Meg coming through the door, looking mildly surprised.

"I… Sorry, I thought you'd gone." She wasn't looking at me, but I knew I was the one she was referring to.

"No, sorry," I said brightly. Not even Meg could get me down today. In fact, it was strange. I didn't feel that normal tightness in my chest that I felt when I saw her—that reminder that the pain was still there, no matter how suppressed. And it wasn't until Ainsley had mentioned Hadley that I realized I hadn't thought about him once since we'd parted ways yesterday. And then it dawned on me that Malfoy wasn't the only reason for my good mood: for the first time in over a year, the weight of Hadley Underwood had been lifted. I no longer hated him, and I was no longer dreading leaving my dorm because that meant I would have to see him. I felt nothing about him. I wasn't angry, happy, sad, joyful, miserable, lonely, scared. I was just—for the first time in a long time—_me_. Seeing Meg didn't shake me up, it didn't upset me. It just… was. "I'm on my way out now, though," I said, moving past her and ignoring the surprised look on her face. "See you guys at breakfast."

As soon as I grabbed my bag and I shut the door to the dormitory behind me, I heard their frantic whispers. I rolled my eyes with a smile and skipped down the stairs.

"Luce," I said when I saw Lucy sitting on the couch reading. She looked back at me. Even she looked vaguely surprised, and typically nothing shook up that girl. "Come on, let's get breakfast." She looked stunned for a moment before she shrugged and picked up her bag, stuffing her book in as she joined me and we clambered out of the portrait hole one after the other.

Lucy and I chatted all the way down to the Great Hall. I could tell she was shocked, but mostly confused. She kept glancing at me out of the corner of her eye like she was expecting the other shoe to drop at any moment. I just kept shaking my head and laughing, which served to further confuse her. It was even funnier because Lucy was never this aware of her surroundings. And, in truth, for most of our walk down, she wasn't. She talked about Nate and school and weird stuff she'd done lately, like the last year or so hadn't happened. But there would just be those scattered moments when she would suddenly realize what was happening, and she would look at me for a few seconds, and then she would go back to chatting or listening to what I was saying.

When we finally got down to the Hall, Lucy stopped and looked at me.

"What?" I asked her, frowning.

She shrugged, looking bemused. "Gryffindor?"

_Oh_. Even she had known that I hardly ever sat at Gryffindor anymore. I had always thought nobody had taken note of my absence, but apparently more than a few people had.

I looked across the hall, and when I saw someone I recognized, I walked in that direction.

"Rose? Luce, hey." Nate leaned over and pecked Lucy on the cheek as I sat across from them at the table. Nate was sitting alone as he often did, reading, but like always, he had a piece of parchment next to him where he had a few things written down already. _"Never miss a moment,"_ he'd told me and Albus when we'd asked why he always had that paper next to him. _"You never know when inspiration might hit."_

"What's up?" Nate asked us, looking at Lucy with a strange look, though I knew he _wanted_ to ask, _"What is going on and why is Rose sitting across from us?"_

"Not much," I said with a shrug, reaching forward and scooping some fried eggs onto my plate. Nate continued to look bewildered, but I just smiled and continued scooping things onto my plate and shoveling things in my mouth unconcerned.

Truthfully, even I didn't _really_ know what had gotten into me. Deep in the pit of my stomach, I knew this new great mood had to do with 1) dropping Hadley once and for all and 2) Scorpius. Although I knew it was mainly the latter. It gave me a bit of anxiety—knowing that Scorpius had the ability to affect me like this—to basically turn me into a different person—but I embraced it. I didn't care. Scorpius made me happy, and being happy made me happy. And that fact that it was a sexy, blonde, smart, funny professor making me happy, also made me happy.

So, yes. I was happy.

And the feeling was quite foreign to me. I hadn't been truly and completely happy in a long time, and I don't think my mind knew quite how to process it. I felt giddy, and like I was outside of my body looking in. I couldn't explain it. So, here I was, eating breakfast with Nate and Lucy like it was the most normal thing any of us had ever done.

A moment later, the bench I was sitting on shook a bit as someone plopped down next to me.

"What on earth are you doing here?"

I looked over and grinned at Albus. I shrugged. "I'm hungry."

He glanced down at my plate. "Obviously."

I elbowed him in the ribcage and he laughed.

"You know this is weird right?" He looked up at Lucy and Nate who were looking back and forth between Albus and me, not wanting to agree, but clearly unable to even pretend not to. "Has anyone pointed that out to you?" He raised his eyebrows at the two people across the table from us. "No," he said as if their silence had answered. "They're too scared." He rolled his eyes and I laughed. "Well, I'll say it. You hate everyone and you hate the morning and you're sitting here across from Nate and Lucy at the Hufflepuff table like you've done this every day for seven years." He stabbed a sausage link with his fork and stuck it in his mouth. "You're being weird," he said with his mouth full.

I shrugged. "I'm just in a good mood," I said before taking a swig of pumpkin juice.

And just as if the universe had heard me, the door off to the side of the Great Hall opened and Scorpius walked in with Flitwick trailing behind him. The two professors were talking, and Scorpius didn't see me immediately, but I could see his eyes scanning the Slytherin table.

"Hmm," Albus said under his breath. "I wonder why."

Then he and Nate started talking about the inspiration that had struck Nate earlier this morning before we'd all arrived, while Lucy daydreamed, and I tried to discreetly look at the faculty table.

His eyes had moved to the Gryffindor table and when he didn't see me, I saw a small crease appear on his forehead. He looked over at Flitwick who was talking animatedly to him before he poured himself some pumpkin juice. He then glanced around the hall briefly once more, and my heart caught in my throat as his eyes landed on me.

He arched an eyebrow in question and I tried to hide my smile, looking down at my plate. I could still feel his eyes on me, so I looked up again and his brow was creased as if to say, _"What's going on? What are you up to?"_

I almost laughed out loud, but I withheld and instead, I did to him what he had done to me the previous morning—I did what he had done to me that had made my heart flutter and leap in my chest. It had done because he had done it here, for anyone to see, and that had scared and excited me. So I decided to return the favor.

I winked.

* * *

Later, Albus and I were sitting in Charms after having had a double dose of Transfiguration. We had been nearly bored to tears in Transfiguration so now we were sitting in Charms like a couple of antsy six-year-olds who had just gotten to leave school on a snow day and were now sitting anxiously on the bus home, just waiting, waiting, so we could go home and make a snowman.

We had decided to have a band practice later even though I desperately wanted to see Malfoy, but I figured it would be better to make him wait anyway. I was trying to make him want me, wasn't I?

I glanced over when I saw Albus rip a piece off of his parchment and slide it over to me.

_Did you fuck Malfoy yet?_

I squeaked, and a few heads turned in my direction including Flitwick's, but I just ducked my head and cleared my throat to cover it up.

_**You want to get us detention? Actually, you want me to get expelled?**_

I could see Albus roll his eyes when I slid the parchment back over to him.

_So is that a yes?_

This time, I rolled my eyes.

_**A lady doesn't kiss and tell.**_

Albus's eyes widened when I slid the note over to him.

_YOU DID YOU DID_

I stifled a giggle.

Albus jerked his head in my direction and stared at me with wide eyes. Then he raised both eyebrows as if to say _"Well?"_

Almost imperceptibly, I nodded. And if we weren't in class, I know Albus would have screamed or shaken me or hugged me or something. Instead he opted for grabbing my leg and squeezing it so hard that I made a small noise and he loosened his grip a bit.

He magicked away all the writing on the parchment and then wrote in big letters that he outlined several times: _YOU ARE TELLING ME EVERYTHING._

I just smiled.

The rest of the day was relatively boring. We finished out Charms, and I had to go to Ancient Runes while Albus went off to have a free period. I still thought that he was probably snogging Lysander during that free period, but every time I suggested it he was adamant that he had ended things between them once and for all. _"In fact"_—he'd told me_—"Fergie and I made a date for the first Hogsmeade weekend."_

I was insanely happy about that. Fergie was a good guy and he was smoking hot. I remember nearly wanting to cry when I found out that he and Albus had more of a chance together than he and I had ever or would ever have. Lysander was also pretty good looking. He had thick blonde hair that flopped on the top of his head and his eyes were purple—not blue, they were too rich to just be blue—his eyes were _purple_. And he did have nice lips, I would give that to Albus. But still. He was mean and catty and Albus could do remarkably better. Like sexy, funny, adorable Fergus Bossenen, who was not only hot, but he worshipped Albus.

As soon as Runes was over, I rushed down to the Great Hall to meet Al for dinner. We had made a date for me to tell him everything about what had happened with Malfoy, and I was itching to tell _anybody_.

I spotted Albus's black hair pretty quickly, and I rushed—practically ran—over to the Slytherin table where he was sitting. I slid onto the bench next to him and grabbed his forearm.

"Hey," I said breathlessly. "I have so much to tell you—"

I was cut off when I saw that Albus had been talking to the person across from him. He looked at me apologetically and then back at the person. I turned my head.

Lysander.

Of course.

For a moment, I was tempted to just tell both of them about what had happened. That was how badly I wanted to tell somebody about Scorpius and me. That moment passed quickly, though. Not only did I know I couldn't trust anyone but Albus, but I just didn't like Lysander, and I didn't want him knowing a secret about my life.

I sighed.

"Hey, Ly," I said, turning on the bench so I could face him. I started scooping food onto my plate as Lysander laughed.

"Don't act so happy to see me."

Obviously he didn't get how very unhappy I was to see him at almost all points in time.

"We were just talking about jamming tonight, actually," Albus said to cover up the fact that I wasn't going to appease Lysander by saying I _was_ happy to see him. Albus was always trying to make the waters between Ly and me smooth. He knew they were pretty choppy now, especially after I'd seen the two of them together the other night.

"I…"

I had planned on sneaking into Malfoy's office tonight.

As if he knew exactly what I had in mind, Albus's eyes widened a bit. "Unless you have plans?"

Lysander snorted. "It's not like she has any other friends but us."

I scowled at him. "It's not like I have any other friends but _Albus_, I think you mean. I—"

"If you can't come, it's completely fine," Albus interrupted me before I could spout off any more angry words at Lysander. I ignored the hurt and confused look on Lysander's face that he had adopted after my previous comment. _Dick_.

"No," I snapped, stabbing at the string beans in front of me. "I can't very well leave the two of you alone to _jam_, now can I?" I arched an eyebrow at Albus and then looked at Lysander who at least had the decency to blush. I rolled my eyes when his cheeks pinked, but it did please me.

"Erm…"

"I'll be there," I said. "I'll just postpone my other plans."

Lysander looked up at me like he wanted to ask what other plans I had, but after a moment he seemed to think better of it, and he just sighed and looked down at his plate.

Albus glanced at Lysander out of the corner of his eyes to make sure he wasn't looking before he looked at me and mouthed _"Malfoy?"_

I nodded, and I couldn't help it when the smile crept up on my face. I then glanced up to the faculty table to see if I could sneak a peek at him. I hadn't even looked when I'd come in, which was abnormal because I almost always sought him out instantly, like my eyes were drawn to him. I looked up and saw that his normal seat was vacant.

"Already left," Albus murmured to me. I frowned.

That must have been why I hadn't immediately looked for him. It was like my body had known he wasn't there before the rest of my mind had caught up—like I was so attuned to him that I knew when he was or wasn't in the room. I shivered at the thought.

* * *

"_Amazing_ session, guys," I said with a grin as I adjusted the messy bun I had pulled my hair into halfway through our practice when I'd gotten too hot. Some loose strands had fallen out and I was trying to get them back in while the guys grinned and nodded.

Lysander threw his drumsticks down and I happened to glance at him while I was still adjusting my hair. I caught him looking at Albus with a heated look. Anger shot through me.

"Al," I said suddenly, even though he was talking to Nate. Nate just smiled at both of us and said goodbye before grabbing his stuff and heading out the door. For some reason, I got a warm feeling in my stomach thinking about Nate being high on that amazing practice and then going to see Lucy.

_Get a grip,_ I told myself.

"What's up?" Al said. I watched Lysander slowly pack up his stuff from where he was still sitting behind his drum set.

"I just… Well, I…" I really needed to go down to see Malfoy. It was getting late and I had to wake up early for an early morning Quidditch practice at Hugo's insistence after the last disastrous practice. But I also didn't want Albus ending up alone in here with Lysander.

"Did you…"

Then Albus saw me quickly glance at Lysander, and he rolled his eyes.

"You can leave us alone in the same room."

"Can I?" I hissed. "He's been giving you _eyes_ since practice ended, probably before that."

Albus glanced over his shoulder and caught Lysander looking at the two of us. He ducked his head quickly.

"See," I said. Albus just rolled his eyes again.

"It's fine, Rose," he said quietly. "Me and him are over."

"Swear?"

Albus laughed and held up his hand. "Hand to God."

I sighed in relief. "Okay, I have to go."

Albus arched an eyebrow. "Where are you off to all flushed and in a rush?"

I paused for a few beats. "You know where," I said. Albus grinned so widely I thought his face would split in half. "Oh, shut up," I said, turning away and heading toward the door. "No funny business," I called as I swung the door to the room shut behind me.

I was in the dungeons so quickly it was almost as if I had apparated. For a second, I got confused and thought that I accidentally had. But then I realized I was being ridiculous and, among other things, you couldn't apparate inside Hogwarts grounds. I sighed and walked through the darkened Potions classroom. I lit my wand and frowned when I saw no sliver of light coming from under Scorpius's office door.

I tried the door and it opened smoothly. _Why wouldn't he lock his door?_ _Anyone could come in_.

I walked through his dark office and found that the door that led to his quarters was also unlocked. I pushed through it, and locked it behind me when I stepped inside and shut it behind me. Then I looked into the room and was quite confused. The door led to the sitting room that I hadn't been in before. A fire was going, but Scorpius wasn't there. There was a book sitting open on its face on a table between his sofa and the fireplace as if he had just been there. But he was nowhere to be seen.

I walked further on to where his bedroom was. I opened the door and saw there was a candle lit on his end table, but he was also nowhere to be found in this room.

That was when I heard the shower running from the bathroom that was adjacent to his bedroom. I walked up to the door and bit my lower lip as I pressed my ear to the door.

A feeling that was still a bit foreign to me shot through me. It started right in the center of my chest and radiated out to the rest of my body until it settled at the very bottom of my hands and feet—at my fingertips and the very tips of my toes. It was strongest in my stomach. It was like a small fireball had settled at the pit of my stomach and it created strange sensations in the radius that it covered, including the heat between my legs.

I sighed and dropped my bag next to the door before I pushed into the bathroom.

It was like déjà vu.

There he was, the sexiest man I had ever seen, water cascading down his back as he ran his hands through his blonde hair and rinsed his body.

My mouth actually started to water as I watched him, and that feeling of lust that had become so familiar to me over the last couple days seemed to bloom as I watched him. I remembered those hands running through _my_ hair, making me feel wild with want and desire—feelings that were still confusing to me because I had absolutely never felt them so strongly before, if at all. He made me feel like I had never felt before, like if I didn't touch him soon, my hand would just deteriorate, like it couldn't live without touching him.

Sensing my gaze, Scorpius suddenly turned around and looked at me. He looked mildly startled for a moment before his surprise turned into a lazy grin and he turned and shut the water off in the shower. He pulled a towel from in front of the shower around so he could towel off his hair and then put it around his waist. It didn't matter. I'd already seen it all before. The thought made me blush.

He stepped out of the shower and immediately reached forward to brush my cheek. My heart fluttered and I inhaled sharply.

"You're blushing," he said, his voice husky. I didn't say anything. My voice had gone, stolen by the power he had over me.

He leaned down and brushed his lips against mine in a sweet hello kiss.

It wasn't enough.

As he started to pull away, I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck to pull him down into a deep kiss. He sighed and gripped my hips, pulling me toward him. Pleasure coursed through me and the whimper I released was entirely involuntary.

It started off sweet and gentle at first, our lips caressing each other. It still made me breathless, but it wasn't until he licked my lips to urge them open that my whole body started to tremble and ignite from what was passing between us. I opened my mouth and his tongue swept in, sending shivers through me as he held me close and kissed me deeply.

I reached up to slide my hands in his wet hair and the sigh he released excited me as I pulled him closer. I needed him to be closer.

I broke the kiss, panting, and his mouth went down to my neck as his hands slid down from my hips and behind me so he could cup my arse. He pulled me against him and I felt him there. He wanted me, and I wanted him, and as good as his mouth and tongue felt running along my jaw and up and down my neck, I wanted more. I wanted to feel what I'd felt the other night. I wanted to feel him pushing deep inside, pulling at the desire that had been hidden up until a few nights ago—pulling at it until I couldn't take it anymore. I moaned at the thought and he gripped my arse tighter for a moment before his hands slid down to the back of my thighs so he could lift me up.

I wrapped my legs tightly around his waist and attached my mouth to his again with a small whine. He released a quiet, low growl. I sensed that we were moving, but I was too focused on the way my body was responding to notice or care that we weren't staying in the bathroom.

A moment later, my back hit something soft, and Scorpius gripped my legs to move them off of him.

I groaned in disappointment, but it quickly became a groan of pleasure when he began pulling my shoes and socks off. I watched him, my blood on fire as it coursed through me. I wanted him so badly that it scared me a bit. The feeling of desire and lust and wanting someone so much that it was painful was completely foreign to me. My mind and my body didn't know how to process it, and that unknown made my limbs shake and my heart pound uncontrollably.

Scorpius reached up to unbutton my jeans and then he moved to pull them down from the ankle. I sighed as he tossed them over his shoulder and then crawled up over me. Miraculously, he still had that towel around his waist, so bravely, I reached forward and pulled it off.

I looked down and saw that he was completely hard. My mouth fell open. It amazed me that he'd been inside me—that my body hadn't rejected something so impressive and intrusive. I then reached forward and ran my hands down his sculpted chest. I felt the muscles ripple beneath my fingertips as Scorpius's eyes fluttered slightly at my touch.

Scorpius Malfoy was naked, hovering above me, eyes filled with lust and need. For me. This was happening. Again.

Scorpius then reached down and gripped the hem of my t-shirt. When he did, his fingertips brushed my bare skin and I couldn't help but whimper again. It felt so good. Just the brush of his skin on mine—and knowing what that brush meant. I almost whimpered again, but I withheld it, choosing to bite the inside of my cheek instead.

Scorpius was watching my every move as he pulled my shirt over my head and I was laying there in my bra and panties, panting with need, my cheeks, neck, and chest red. He was kneeling between my legs, and slowly—too slowly—he began to run his fingers up and down my legs. My eyes fluttered shut, and I bit my lip, trying to hold back my pleas for more. It felt good what he was doing, but it was agonizingly sweet torture.

I was breathing heavily, panting with need as heat pooled between my legs. I wanted him to touch me. I wanted it more than anything. I needed it. But he just continued to caress my legs. I sighed and squirmed, and he smirked before leaning down and capturing my mouth with his. I opened my mouth immediately and his tongue slid lazily against mine. It wasn't enough.

I arched into him—hoping to press him inside of me—and then I squeaked in surprise and pleasure when he slipped a finger into me.

He began pumping the finger in and out of me so slowly, so I pressed my palms against the headboard of his bed and pushed myself down onto this finger, trying to get more friction. He growled at the action and nipped at my bottom lip.

He then slipped another finger inside right as he brought his thumb and brushed my nub, making me moan and arch off the bed. He pumped slowly at first, massaging my nub as he did so. I was writhing beneath him and he pulled back to watch me, his eyes almost black with pleasure.

He picked up his pace, watching me as I started to come undone, pushing my hips toward his fingers, pleasure shooting through every inch of my body. It felt so good. How had I gone this long without feeling this? How had I waited almost 18 years to not experience bliss? Scorpius tore his eyes away from mine for a moment to look down and watch his fingers move in and out of me. It was such a turn on, and I couldn't take it. I needed release.

"Scorpius…"

It was only when I moaned his name in the room that was only filled with both of our pants and gasps that I realized that was the first word I'd spoken since I'd come into his quarters. His head snapped up to meet my eyes, and when he saw the need in them, he curled is fingers up as he pulled them out, causing pleasure to lance through me. I moaned loudly. He repeated that motion just a few more times and my legs stretched in front of me and I arched my neck and pressed my head into his pillow as the orgasm crashed through me.

Scorpius pressed his mouth against mine and swallowed my moan, rolling his tongue over mine as I tried to recover. I didn't get much time to do so, however, because a moment later, Scorpius pulled back, hooked his fingers in my panties and pulled them down quickly. Before I even knew what was happening, his head was between my legs and I was crying out.

"Scorpius—what—"

It was too much. His mouth flicking at that bundle of nerves, licking at my folds, darting inside me occasionally—I couldn't take it. My hands flew down and gripped his blonde hair.

"No, Scorpius… It's…" _Too much_, I wanted to tell him. My body wouldn't be able to take it. It felt so good that it almost hurt. I tried to clamp my legs shut, but he reached out and grabbed my knees, forcing my legs open as he continued his torturous assault. "So good, ah…" I moaned. Then he took my nub and sucked on it, and my grip in his hair tightened as I made a choked sob in the back of my throat and my back arched and I came hard.

Scorpius continued to lick slowly as I came, extending my orgasm, making my legs shake as I moaned continuously, absorbing all the pleasure of the most intense moment of my life.

After I was finally able to relax into Scorpius's bed, he gave one final lick, making me keen a bit, before he pulled his head away from between my legs. He smiled and deliberately wiped his mouth, making me blush fiercely.

"How was that?" he asked huskily. My body was still humming. _How did he think it was?_

I looked at him, sexy, blonde hair mussed from me gripping it, his face flushed with want, and I gave him a coy smile even though I could hardly think straight.

"It was okay," I said, my voice hoarse.

He arched an eyebrow. "Oh, really, it was okay?" I nodded, and he shifted so that he was in between my legs, his arms braced on the sides of my shoulders, his face about a foot from mine. "So you moaning my name," he said as he reached one hand down to line himself up at my entrance. I felt his tip just barely brushing against my entrance. I tried to move but he grabbed my hip to still me. "You just wanted me to make sure I remembered my own name?"

"Scorpius…" I breathed. I'd just orgasmed twice, but I still wanted more. I wanted him inside. Now.

"Ah, there it is again," he said. He brushed up against my entrance again and I arched off the bed. He leaned in close so he could run his nose and mouth along my jaw. "Tell me what you want," he said, his voice near a growl. I whimpered.

"You," I said.

"Me?" he said, nipping at my earlobe and making me squirm. "But I'm just _okay_," he said, his breath ghosting across my neck. "Surely you want more than just okay."

"You're amazing," I breathed. I was panting with want. I reached down and tried to grab him to push him into me, but he grabbed my hands and pinned them above my head.

"Amazing, huh?" He leaned down a grabbed my lower lip between his teeth.

"Yes," I said when he let it go.

Then he plunged in and it felt so good that I thought I would have another orgasm right then and there. I arched, my whole body straining, as I cried out.

I didn't understand. How did this feel so good? How did my body just submit to his will like this? How did my body even know what to do and how to respond? Because this was like nothing—nothing else in the world felt this good. But it was incredible.

I came again soon, and he quickly followed. We spent the rest of the night like that. Together. And me not knowing exactly what to do, but just letting my body and his take me there.

* * *

_Next chapter:_

_"Who was that girl? Looked like she was hot for teacher."_

_"You would know the signs, wouldn't you? Are you jealous, Ms. Weasley?" _


	18. Happy Friday

_A/N: Big thanks to all those reviewing and reading this story! I just wanted to quickly say that your feedback is now more important than ever. The tone of the story will be changing from here on out as the relationship between Scorpius and Rose develops. If you're liking the progression, PLEASE let me know. If you find something lacking or you don't like the shift, it's even more important for you to let me know! I take everything everyone says under advisement. That being said, I hope you love it as much as I do! Enjoy!_

_Chapter rated M for language and sexual content._

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**Chapter 18**: **A Happy Friday**

I woke up the next morning draped over Scorpius, my left leg entwined with his, my head on his chest as he breathed deeply, still asleep. I smiled, and moved my hand up slowly so I could run my fingers through the blonde hairs on his chest. We were naked, and with Scorpius asleep, I could finally drive him crazy, instead of the other way around.

I slid my hand down and found that he was already halfway hard, and I gave his length a small squeeze. He groaned and shifted beneath me, but he still seemed to be asleep. I moved so that I could lift my leg and straddle him. His eyes shot open and he looked up at me. I could tell he didn't quite know where he was or what was going on. It was early. The sun had probably just come up, and we had only gone to sleep a few hours before.

"You're up early," Scorpius said, his voice husky from sleep and desire. I felt lust course through me when he looked down at my naked body on top of him and his eyes darkened.

"So are you," I said, gripping his cock. He groaned, and I began to stroke.

I was already wet. I didn't know if it was left over from last night or if I had dreamed about him in that short time I'd been asleep or if just this simple act was making me crazy with want, but either way, I was ready, and I wanted him.

He watched my hand move up and down his length and he let out a hiss.

"I have to get going soon," I whispered. He frowned at me. "Quidditch practice."

Scorpius groaned and dipped his head back into the pillow as my hand began to stroke a bit faster. "Rose…" he groaned. I lifted up and placed him at my entrance. My heart was pounding and my body was on fire with desire. The feelings that Scorpius made me feel were unbelievable. I had never known I could be so wanton—so desperate for what Scorpius gave me. "Skip practice," he said, watching me as I lined myself up but didn't sink down. "Come on," he growled.

"I can't…" I breathed.

"Hugo's riding you guys too hard."

I arched an eyebrow. "Not as hard as I'm about to ride you," I said.

Scorpius smiled and reached up to grip my hips. "What are you waiting for?"

I smiled and stroked him for a few seconds again before he reached up and grabbed my hand away before placing both hands on my hips and pulling me down onto him. I tipped my head back and moaned loudly as Scorpius let out a long groan.

"I don't…Faster, Scorpius," I said as I began to move up and down on his length. There was a bit of discomfort in this position as he pushed in as far as my body would allow, but any discomfort was far outweighed by the pleasure I felt as soon as Scorpius gripped my hips hard and began pushing his pelvis up to meet me.

"You look so good above me," Scorpius growled as we both picked up our pace. "Is it good?"

"Yes," I moaned. "Scorpius, yes."

He reached forward and began to massage my nub with his thumb, making me cry out. I leaned back and braced myself on his knees so he could have better access to that sensitive bundle of nerves, and when he thrusted up again, it brushed against a sensitive spot inside me and I moaned loudly and wantonly. I stayed in that position, feeling that feeling over and over as he thrust up and into me, his length hard and unyielding inside me as it tunneled in and out. I was expanding to fit him, and my walls were clenching around each time he pulled out as if my body was refusing to let him go. He groaned several curses each time I clenched, making me clench even harder at his obvious need for me.

My thighs began to quiver as I continued to ride him to the edge, and I felt the build up of my orgasm inside me.

Suddenly, Scorpius reached up and gripped my waist and before I knew what was happening, I was beneath him and he was driving hard in and out of me with his face buried in my neck. I brought my arms up above my head and tilted my pelvis up as he continued on. I let out a high-pitched, quivering moan as I approached.

My orgasm came on me suddenly. I had thought I need a few more thrusts from Scorpius, but suddenly I was shaking violently as he thrust into me, growling my name in my ear as he spilled himself inside. He was pulsing inside me as he continued to push through his orgasm and mine. When he was finished, he tried to roll off me, but I reached around him and held him tight to me. He was heavy—muscled and firm—but his weight on me felt so good and comforting. It was like a warm, sensual blanket, covering me completely—a blanket with a heartbeat that seemed to match my own.

He brought his arms up and underneath mine so he could clutch my shoulders and bury his face into my neck as we both tried to catch our breath.

"Rose?" he murmured after several quiet moments.

"Hmmm," I replied. I was acutely aware that he was still inside me.

"Don't go to Quidditch practice."

"I have to go," I said even though there was nothing I wanted to do more than stay in bed with Scorpius all day. I just couldn't upset Hugo. "I'll see you in class in a few hours."

He groaned. "That's too far away." His breath was tickling my neck and I smiled. "What will I do all morning?"

"Think of me?"

He brought his head up to look at me. "I do that all the time anyway."

My heart leapt and my stomach clenched with joy.

"We should go on a date," he said before burying his face in my neck again.

I laughed at that, but then I wished I hadn't because it made the fact that Scorpius was inside me much more noticeable. The laugh turned into a gasp.

"What?" he said.

"We can't go on a date," I said, trying to ignore my body's wishes. "Where will we go?"

Scorpius shrugged, the movement sending a jolt of pleasure through me, and I breathed in sharply. I felt him smile against my neck. Then he moved his hips.

"Don't," I breathed. "I…"

He moved his hips again, but this time, I pushed him off me and trembled a bit as he slid out and rolled onto his back and groaned. I stood up and picked up Scorpius's shirt from the ground and pulled it over my head before heading to the bathroom.

"Please skip practice," he groaned, watching me from where he was still laying naked on his bed.

I looked at him over my shoulder and winked. "I'll see you in class, Professor."

He growled, and chased me into the bathroom as I yelped and ran from him.

Needless to say, I was late to practice.

* * *

"Will you seriously control yourself?"

I looked up at Albus who was looking down at me and watching me as we walked to Potions. My hair was pulled back in a somewhat damp ponytail since I had showered after Quidditch and I kept touching it absently, remembering Scorpius pulling it in his passion before I had managed to get to practice.

"What?"

This morning after Quidditch and right before Potions, I had finally told Albus everything that had happened between Scorpius and me over the past few days. He was insanely jealous.

"Stop smiling like that."

I laughed. "Smiling like what?"

"Like the hottest guy on the planet is banging you."

I jerked my head toward him and narrowed my eyes. "Jealous?"

"Immensely."

I laughed again, unable to control my mirth. Albus gave me another look, but I just shrugged him off as I pushed through the Potions doors, ready to see my man.

He was standing at the front of the classroom, looking gorgeous as always, his blonde hair tossled and his gray eyes bright. I remembered what his eyes looked like when he was blind with desire for me, how they bore into my face and into my body as they traveled along appreciatively. I blushed and Albus elbowed me, but I didn't notice because that was when I was suddenly aware of the cute blonde girl standing next to Scorpius, looking over his shoulder and batting her eyes as he pointed at the parchment on his desk, explaining something to her.

For a brief moment, I was absurdly, irrationally angry—how many of my classmates was he sleeping with? How many had he given detention to and seduced? How many had he comforted in their times of need, holding them, watching over them?

But then, the anger faded when Scorpius suddenly seemed to sense my presence, and he looked up and smiled—a real, beautiful, genuine smile meant only for me—and he shooed away the girl and summoned me up to his desk. Warmth flooded through me at the disappointed look on the girl's face as she stalked out of the room.

"Hi," I said when I walked up to his desk, making sure I kept a safe distance so we wouldn't draw attention.

"Ms. Weasley," he said with a smirk.

"Who was that girl?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.

He frowned like he was obviously confused by the question. "Dana Kelly?" he said.

"Hmm," I said quietly. "Looked like she was hot for teacher."

He raised his eyebrows. "You would know the signs, wouldn't you?" I felt my cheeks heat under his gaze. "Are you jealous, Ms. Weasley?" he said, taking a step closer.

"Stop," I breathed, feeling that familiar pull of desire in my stomach. "People will see."

He looked thoughtful for a moment, staring at my face and occasionally glancing over my head at the rest of the classroom. I felt like there were eyes on us, but he seemed casual, so I just tried my best to not look flustered and lustful even though I was always both when I was around him.

"How was practice?" he asked.

"Fine," I said. My voice was absurdly breathy. He smirked, apparently noticing it too.

"You should have skipped it," he said huskily. "You could have spent the whole morning with me."

I rolled my eyes, trying to keep my cool. There were too many people around, and I felt like he wasn't being quiet at all. I imagined that everyone kept looking up here, trying to poke their ears in and see what we were talking about, especially Albus, who was no doubt shushing everyone who tried to talk to him in an effort to catch even the smallest part of our conversation.

"What if I spend the night with you?" I asked. "Will that make up for it?"

"I'll have to make up for that lost time," he said.

"It was only two hours," I said, putting a hand on my hip.

This time when he spoke, his voice was so low and gravely that I almost couldn't hear him. "Do you know how many times I could have made you come in two hours?"

My eyes widened as my hands began to shake and fire traveled through my entire body until it settled right in the pit of my stomach. "Scorpius," I breathed. He smirked, and I wanted to slap that smirk off his face. How dare he get me all hot and bothered right before we were about to have to sit through three hours of Potions lessons before I could even put my hands on him.

Wordlessly—with that infuriating smirk still on his face—he reached down and pulled open his desk drawer (ironically the same drawer that had held the Weasley telescope that had started this whole thing), and put something in his fist. I watched him carefully.

"You forgot something," he said, putting whatever was in his hand into my hand and then closing my fist. "Now get to your desk. Class is starting."

I gave him one last heated look before I ducked my head and turned, walking quickly to my desk so no one would see my red cheeks. Scorpius then started class, so Albus was forced to hold all his questions about what had just happened, and then whenever I thought it was safe, I put what Scorpius had given me in my lap and looked down.

There, sitting against the stark black of my school robes was a pair of bright red panties. I almost moaned, and when I looked up, I saw that Scorpius was watching me as he lectured. I quickly looked down again, embarrassed, and knowing that my face was going to betray too much.

Scorpius lectured about healing potions. He was talking about wounds so bad that you would need the strongest skill and the most intense level of concentration in order to heal them. He was explaining how one wrong ingredient could make someone lose their flesh and experience the greatest pain they've ever felt in their lives. He was talking about all this, and he was smiling.

"You have to be meticulous," Scorpius said with a laugh. "When we start working on this, it will be difficult, but just…" He laughed again. "Attention to detail is key, and always ask for help." He held up a hand so he could laugh into his other hand. Everyone in the class was exchanging confused looks, while I sat in my chair with a hand over my mouth, trying to stifle my own laughter.

Scorpius Malfoy was giddy.

It had been like this almost the entire class, but it wasn't until now that he started to break down, simply unable to control himself any longer, and I was right there with him.

"Sorry everyone," he said through his laughter. "I don't know what's gotten into me."

_It's not what's gotten into you_, I thought. _It's what you've gotten into_.

As if sensing my thoughts, Scorpius shot a quick glance at me and then waved his wand at the chalkboard so that a piece of chalk began to write the directions on the board for the first steps in the potion making process.

"You may all get s-started," he said with another laugh. "Remember to ask questions."

I tried to ignore Scorpius for the rest of class. He was right about this potion—it was complicated, and it did require a lot of meticulous care and concentration. It was hard to take extreme care, however, when I felt his gaze on me constantly, making the back of neck heat up and my fingertips tingle. I had shed my robes when we had begun just like most of the class had done, so I was down to just my white school shirt and my skirt. Scorpius was walking around the classroom observing everyone, making comments, and offering help, and every time he would pass me, he would run his fingers against the back of my bare thighs.

The first time he'd done it, I had jumped so much that Albus had asked me what was wrong, but I'd brushed it off easily, saying I had nipped my finger a bit with the blade of my knife as I was slicing ingredients. The second time I had been prepared, but that didn't make it any less arousing, and by the fourth or fifth time he'd done it, I was so wound up with the pressure that I had to stop what I was doing for a moment so that I could try to readjust my concentration on this potion, rather than on the throbbing between my legs.

As soon as class was over, Albus had to rush out to meet Fergie for lunch—making me beam—so he didn't ask questions when I stayed behind, packing up slowly and watching Scorpius out of the corner of my eye. I was thinking about what was going to happen when everyone was gone and my heart rate was steadily picking up and the ache between my legs worsening, when I suddenly heard a clicking sound. I looked up and saw that no one was left in the classroom, and before I had time to wonder where Scorpius had gone, a firm body was pressed against the back of mine and I was quivering with anticipation.

"Scorpius…" I sighed as his mouth attached to my neck and I titled my head to give him better access.

"I was going crazy in class," he whispered against my neck, making me shiver when his hot breath was there.

"Me too," I said as I brought one arm up and back and sank my fingers into the hair at the base of his neck, urging him on, loving the feeling of his lips and tongue on the most sensitive areas of my neck.

He then reached his hands forward to pull my shirt out of my skirt and he began to slowly unbutton it, making me whimper. As soon as he was done, he pulled back for a moment to pull the shirt off my shoulders, and then his front was pressed to my back again and his hands were on my breasts. I sighed, and then turned my head so that I could capture his mouth in a kiss. His hair was so soft against my fingers and his tongue was so soft against mine and his hands were so soft against my breasts, kneading them, making the heat between my legs even hotter.

I broke the kiss, panting and his mouth attached to my neck again before he reached around and unclasped my bra, making me gasp as the cold air of the dungeons hit my hardened nipples.

"I want you right here," Scorpius said with his mouth on my shoulder. He pushed my long hair to one side and then his hands went to my breasts again, massaging them and teasing my nipples, driving me crazy and making me gasp and moan with pleasure. "I want you bent over this table." I groaned and his hands moved away from my breasts so that he could bring my arms forward and bend me over the table. I braced myself on my forearms as he started to trail kisses down the back of my neck and between my shoulder blades.

Then, he flipped up my skirt and slipped a finger inside me and I moaned, letting my head fall forward. He twirled the finger around and around inside me, making me wet and ready for him. My breasts were pressed against the cold table but the cold felt good against the scorching heat of my body. He massaged my nub for a little bit before I heard the sound of him unzipping his slacks and I felt his tip pressing at my entrance.

"Scorpius," I moaned, and then he plunged inside me and I let out a louder moan as he buried himself all the way inside. It felt different like this, but as he began to push in and out and his thick length brushed against _that_ spot almost every single time, I knew that different could be better as my head fell forward and I began to moan loudly and unashamedly with each thrust.

"God, Rose," Scorpius breathed as he gripped my hips. "I can't…"

I turned my head to try and see him, and I saw him watching himself slide in and out of me. When he saw me looking, he bent forward and captured my mouth. Really only our tongues could meet from this position, but it was enough because soon I felt myself building and I knew he was building, too, if his grunts and pleas and words of encouragement were anything to go by.

As we both built, he pounded on harder and harder, and I hoped that he had cast a silencing charm because my moans were so loud and breathy and needy that I knew they would be heard by anyone close by, but I couldn't control them because he just felt so good and I needed this so badly and the feelings were all so overwhelming, and then I was coming—hard and fast—and it was wet, so wet, and it only got wetter when he came inside me with one last thrust and a small shout.

He fell onto my back and I collapsed onto the table, my arms spread out, and we were panting there for several moments before he slid out and scooped me up in his arms to carry me to his quarters.

It wasn't until I was lying naked on his bed that I realized in my sex haze that he had undressed me the rest of the way and he was now hovering over me, naked himself, and about to push inside me again. And I was amazed that he was ready to go so quickly after what had just happened, but I was happy because I didn't want him to ever stop making me feel like this if it was possible.

He watched me. His eyes searching my face, looking for something, and his gray eyes were so intense as they continued their exploration that I sucked in a breath and my heart started pounding.

"You're perfect," he said, before sliding in and taking me once more.

And then I was flying.

After I had come twice more and we were lying naked and sweaty on his bed, recovering from everything, him on his back and me draped over his stomach and chest, we laid there in silence, taking each other in. I was running my fingers along his chest, playing with the blonde hairs there as I liked to do, and he was running his hands down my hair, making me shiver occasionally while my chest flooded with warmth at being held by him.

After a bit, I lifted my head up and rested my chin on his chest so I could look up at him. He looked down at me and smiled.

"You're so hot," I said after a moment. He laughed loudly and tugged at my hair a bit. Both actions had a warm feeling blooming in my chest.

"Back at you," he said.

I smiled. "So what kind of date are you going to take me on?"

He arched an eyebrow briefly. "I have some ideas."

"You aren't going to tell me?"

"Where's the fun in that?"

I smiled and he brought his hand up to brush my cheek, making heat collect there.

"I love when you blush," he said, making me blush even harder.

"I love when you make me blush," I whispered.

He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "You're beautiful," he said.

"Now you're just saying things on purpose to make me blush."

He laughed. "Maybe," he said. "But it's also true."

I giggled and buried my head into his chest. I felt something so warm and tingly uncurling in my chest as we laid there like that together, and I never wanted it to end. It felt beyond perfect—beyond anything.

"I just want to stay in this bed forever," I told him after looking back up at him.

He smiled. "I think you'd tire me out after a while."

I slapped his chest and shot him a look with narrowed eyes. "I wasn't talking about _that_," I said. He grinned. "I just meant here… You know… with you, just… being here. I don't know."

He put his arm around me tighter and held me close to him, looking down at me, his smile there but no longer teasing. "I know what you mean," he said.

"I can't even believe I'm here with you now," I said.

An adorable crease formed in between his eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

I laughed. "I just mean that not only are you my teacher but you're also the hottest, smartest, sexiest, most interesting guy I know."

He laughed. "Oh, I'm all that, am I?"

I nodded, faking seriousness. "Yes, quite."

"And you're the most beautiful, sexy, smart, funny, talented girl I know."

I blushed again, of course, and buried my face in his chest. I liked being buried there. He smelled incredible.

Scorpius then brought a hand down to my face and lifted it so I would look at him again. He was frowning. "You are, you know," he said. "All those things."

I just shook my head with a small smile, and tried to look away again but he held my chin in his hands.

"What did that guy do to you to make you think that you aren't all those things?"

"I…" my breath was caught in my throat, and I had to look away from him because his gaze was so intense, but I couldn't say anything. I didn't know what to say—that Hadley had shredded my self-esteem to the point of nothingness after he cheated on me that the only way I could feel better was by being cruel to everyone who did anything even remotely bad to me?

"I'm serious, Rose," he said.

"What do you want to know?" I asked quietly. He was still holding my chin, but then he moved his hand up to cup my cheek and I leaned into his touch before he moved the hand back so he could run it through my hair.

"Why don't you think you're beautiful and smart and talented and everything else?"

I shrugged. "No one's ever really told me before."

"No one?"

"Well, besides my parents and Albus."

Scorpius smiled. "Well you are," he said, pulling me up by my upper arms so that he could kiss me. I maneuvered up and planted my lips onto his. "You're beautiful," he said before kissing me. "You're smart," another kiss, "you're funny," another, "you're talented," one more, "And you're very, _very _sexy." Then he kissed me long and hard, holding me tightly against him. His tongue came out of his mouth, teasing at my lips before I opened my mouth and sighed as our tongues met and a sensual heat started in my chest and radiated out to the rest of my limbs, making me feel weak and breathless.

I pulled away, wanting to say something before we started humping like bunnies again. This moment was so perfect and I just didn't want to waste it. I felt like something was shifting, like if I looked back on this moment in ten years I would say, "that was the moment when everything changed, when everything aligned." I felt that deep in my soul.

He looked at me with a small, confused frown on his face. I kissed the tip of his nose and smiled.

"How did you end up at Hogwarts?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, how did you end up being my professor?"

"You finally want to get to know me, do you?" he asked, grinning. "Tired of just using me for my body?"

I rolled my eyes and slapped his chest, moving away a bit so that I was on my stomach next to him with my arm draped over his chest. Then I sighed and laid my head next to his, and he turned his head to look at me.

"What have the rumors told you?" he asked me.

"Not much," I said. He was fairly mysterious considering the fact that he had been here when a lot of us had been here as well.

"Well," he started with a sigh. "In my seventh year I tried out for the Chudley Cannons, but I didn't make the team." I watched him as he spoke, entranced by the way his mouth moved, entranced by the low, smooth, sensual sound of his voice. "I was… Well, I was in a bad place, and anyway, my dad had some connections so he set up an apprenticeship for me so I could study potions in, er, Germany, so I did that."

"How was it?"

"It was… great," he said, looking at a spot above me while he played with a strand of my hair behind me. I felt the tug occasionally, a gentle reminder that he was touching me there. "I learned a lot, and I just… I needed that time away. It was necessary."

"And then?"

He exhaled deeply. "Well, I heard Slughorn was retiring so I—just—wrote to McGonagall, and it took a lot of coaxing since I'm so young, but, I mean, really all it took was a good reference from my old potions master, and she let me know in June that I'd be coming."

"And now you're here."

He nodded. "And now I'm here."

"With me."

He smiled, and I saw the warmth in his eyes, which made my heart sing. "With you."

I hesitated for a moment, not sure if I should say what I wanted, but then I decided to just say it. "And you're happy?"

He frowned a bit as if he didn't understand why I was saying that. He moved his arm and gripped both of my shoulders to pull me up against him. "Here, this job, and with you…" He smiled and brushed his lips lightly against mine. "I think I'm the happiest I've ever been."

The warmth I felt inside me was so overwhelming that it was almost painful, and it scared me, because I thought the feelings I was developing for this man underneath me were too strong, too fast, and I was scared of what that might mean because surely this couldn't last—something this good and this perfect and this… _forbidden…_ couldn't last, and I was going to be left with nothing, broken and alone and empty…

"What are you thinking about?" he asked me, rubbing small circles on my lower back.

"You," I breathed. "How much I want to kiss you…" And then bravely—"How much I want you inside me."

His breath hitched and he yanked me close, crashing his mouth against mine, making all my doubts leave temporarily as we got lost in each other again and again and again.

* * *

_Next chapter:_

_You know what they say about all good things..._


	19. Reckoning

_Big thanks to all of you!_

_Chapter rated M for language and sexual content._

* * *

**Chapter 19**: **Reckoning**

_One Year Earlier_

_I was changing by my locker when I heard the voices drifting from a few rows over. All the Quidditch players had their lockers in alphabetical order by last name, so I was stuck in the back corner away from most people. Luckily, Hugo and I were next to each other, though, so I didn't have to face this dark, abandoned corner on my own. _

_I was already feeling dark and abandoned enough as it was. _

_I recognized the voice as a girl a year ahead of me in Gryffindor and a couple other older students on the team. I didn't hear James or Hugo, so I assumed that they had bolted back up to the castle or they were still in the showers. James was always rushing away after practice so he could see his girlfriend. He never let his mind wander during practice, but as soon as it was over, it was like a switch would flip. It used to make me smile. But that was before. _

_I was trying really hard to be happy. I was trying really hard to be normal. But I was also tired of being a punching bag. For too long, I had let other people take advantage of me because I was smart and kind and my parents had taught me well. I would give people my homework assignments when they needed help. I would stay after class to help someone on a difficult concept even when I was starving or had a lot on my plate. I let Hadley ignore me when he was with his friends, convincing myself that if we were together after, that was really all that mattered. _

_But I was tired. I was tired of being the kind, sweet, dependable one. I was tired of being me. _

_So when I heard the voice of the girl above me saying my name, my ears perked up and I listened hard. _

"_I mean, really, what did she expect?" Yasmina was saying. "He's a dog, and he's always been a dog." _

"_Yeah, true," I heard another voice say, but I couldn't tell who it was. _

"_It's just pathetic the way she's always crying over him and staring at him and… ugh…" _

_None of the others said anything in response, but she just wouldn't shut up. _

"_Did you know…" Her voice lowered, and I strained to hear. "I mean, him and I hooked up last year."_

_My heart clenched and my stomach churned. I thought I might throw up. I sat down on the bench in front of my locker and wrapped my arms around my stomach, rocking a bit. When would this ever stop hurting? _

"_It wasn't much, really. Just a bit of making out at a party. But… God, Weasley is just so naïve. Hadley has always been like this. She should have known." _

_Luckily, thank god, the other people changed the subject and said their goodbyes to Yasmina. Apparently not everyone got so much joy out of my misery. Not everyone thought I deserved what I got. Not everyone thought I was to blame for being so stupid and not seeing Hadley for who he was. I thought that enough about myself no matter how much Albus had tried to convince me it wasn't true, no matter how much he told me that Hadley was an arse who didn't deserve me. _

_But I'd made a vow to myself. After crying myself sick for weeks, I had finally decided that this had to stop—that I had to take charge of my life and stop this from ever happening to me again. _

_It was with that in mind that I listened for the sounds of the other two people retreating before I decided to put my plan in motion. I peaked around the corner when I heard some shuffling, and I saw Yasmina walking toward the showers wrapped only in a towel. My jaw clenched in anger. I thought she and I were friends. I thought she understood that I was in pain. A lot of it. _

_As soon as I heard the shower switch on, I rushed quietly over to where her locker was and saw her change of clothes folded neatly on the bench in front of her locker. With angry and bitter resolve, I dug in the pile for the shirt she would put on after her shower, and I dug my wand out of my back pocket. I then pointed my wand at the back and watched as letters appeared across it. I then put a temporary concealment charm over the words that would only last for about 20 minutes—the time I assumed it would take for her to finish up and put the shirt back on—so she wouldn't see what I'd done. Smiling—which often still pained me because the muscles in my face weren't used to the action—I refolded the shirt neatly so she wouldn't notice anything different, and I walked quickly back to my locker and gathered up my things. _

_By the time I was all finished shoving stuff in and pulling stuff out of my locker, I swung my bag over my shoulder and headed out of the room just as I heard the shower shut off. I grinned and then ran back up to the castle. _

_At dinner, I was sitting with Albus at the Slytherin table, my new permanent spot now that I couldn't stand to sit at the Gryffindor table with everyone's judging eyes or sympathetic glances. That was one thing I loved about the Slytherins—they may be a proud, ruthless bunch, but they didn't care one way or another about the sad problems in my life. _

_I had just gotten done telling Albus about what I'd done when I felt the atmosphere in the Great Hall change. _

"_What did you put on her shirt?" Albus was asking me as I craned my neck and looked at Yasmina walking into the hall, unaware that eyes followed her back as she walked down. _

"_Rose, what—"_

_I elbowed him and jerked my head back in her direction. She had started to notice eyes on her and she was looking around, frowning, before she sat down next to some of her friends at the Gryffindor table. Luckily, her back was to our table so Albus would be able to see when she sat down. And when she did, he gasped at first and then howled with laughter. _

_Right on the back of Yasmina's shirt in huge, red letters was the word SLUT. _

"_Jeez, Rose," Albus said, turning to me. "You don't take things lightly, do you?" _

_I just shrugged and turned back to my plate. "Not anymore," I said. "Not ever again."_

* * *

Life was good.

I'd spent most of the weekend with Malfoy. We laid in his bed, talking and laughing and snuggling against each other and fooling around. Occasionally we left his bed. He'd gone up to the kitchens to get us some food and we sat in his sitting room with a plate of sandwiches and I'd laid with my knees bent up on the couch and my head on his shoulder listening to him talk about his time at Hogwarts while his long legs were stretched out, with one ankle crossed over the other and propped up on the table in front of us.

I was wearing one of his white button downs that went down to my mid-thigh, and he was wearing nothing but a pair of boxer briefs that showed off his muscular legs and his _amazingly _hot arse. I would stare at it when he was walking to the bathroom, and I was overcome with want and longing for a body that was almost completely at my disposal.

I'd smiled as we sat there in front of his fire, just loving the sound of his low, sensual, sometimes raspy voice as he talked. It sounded so different than the voice he used to lecture us. That voice was firmer, clearer, more intense. But this voice was warm and it slid over me like melted butter slides over a hot muffin, making my insides feel both heavy and light at the same time. It was almost unbearable—the crazy tingling curling sensations inside me when I was around him—but it was the best, sweetest kind of pain and torture.

I'd fallen asleep on his shoulder listening to his voice after I was full of food and so content, and I'd woken up to him shifting me on my back on the couch and moving the length of his body down and burying his head in between my legs.

I'd been a bit hazy at first, still in a sleep fog, but on a particularly sensual swipe of his tongue, I'd stretched my limbs before bending my knees up and sinking my hands into his hair, begging him to never stop. He'd driven me wild with his mouth so much that weekend that I began to lose count of the orgasms he gave me this way. I started to wonder if he was tired of doing it, but he'd told me over and over how good I tasted and how he could stay down there forever, and he loved watching me come. He whispered so many dirty things while he was down there and into my ear while he was pushing into me, that my body would flush with heat and I felt as if the orgasms were just as much from his words as they were from the actual things he was doing to me.

I hadn't yet gone down on him, and he never pressured me to or seemed like he wanted me to. I'd done it a few times to Hadley before so I knew the basic concepts, but I was just too nervous to do it to him for fear that he wouldn't enjoy it. And he seemed to be enjoying everything else so I didn't want to risk it.

After a while, we were so gross with sweat and sex that a shower became desperate. So we'd taken one together, refusing to spend any time apart. It had been the sweetest, sexiest, most erotic time of my life. He'd washed me so slowly, so deliberately, washing into the most private parts of my body, arousing me and driving me insane. He'd washed by back, trailing kisses along my shoulders and neck as he did so, making me whimper and pant with desire. I'd washed him when he was finished, spending extra time on his chest and abs that I couldn't get enough of, and I'd gripped his thick length in my hands, still amazed that it had been able to make it all the way inside, and he'd hissed in pleasure, bending his head down and biting a spot on my neck where it met my shoulder.

I didn't finish him, but that was only because he wouldn't let me.

"_Stop, Rose. I'm desperate to be inside you."_

And then he'd taken me to his bed, rendering that shower worthless.

So, correction: life was perfect.

No one in Gryffindor had questioned my absence. Scorpius had had a staff meeting on Saturday afternoon so I'd decided to run down to the Great Hall to snag a quick lunch, and none of them mentioned anything or even seemed to notice my absence. Albus was so busy with Quidditch and classes that he didn't notice either. He'd eaten so fast that I'd barely been able to say hi to him before he was gone.

I guess it was easy to go off the grid for a weekend when your only real friend was in a different house.

Hugo had grabbed me on my way back to the dungeons and told me we were going to have a quick practice. I'd tried to protest but he had a desperate look on his face that made me feel terrible for him. We only practiced for about an hour or so, and Hugo was happy to see that we were doing a lot better, so he left happy, and I practically ran back to the dungeons.

As soon as I was in Malfoy's quarters, his hands were all over me.

"_Where have you been?"_ he'd asked, his face in my neck. I'd leaned back by the force of his arms around my waist, and my hands had dove into his hair, and soon we had been back in his bedroom like we'd been all weekend.

Now, it was Sunday. I'd spent Saturday night with Malfoy again—making love, getting to know his body and soul—and it was well into the afternoon on Sunday when I rolled off him, sated and out of breath and collapsed onto my back next to him.

"I think you're bad for my health," Malfoy said, panting. I laughed and turned onto my side, propping my head up on my hand. He reached over and pinched one of my nipples, making me gasp before I swatted his hand away.

"I think I'm good for your health," I said with a smile. "I've had that heart rate up since Friday."

He growled playfully and dove over, pinning me onto my back, his body half on top of mine. I laughed and put my arms around his neck before pulling him into a kiss. He pulled back after we were both out of breath and when he buried his face into my neck, making me smile contentedly, a sudden bolt of fear shot through me.

_It's too much_.

The feelings I was feeling for this man buried in my neck were too much.

Malfoy and I had only _known_ each other for a month—literally only knew of each other's existence for a month, and I was already feeling like he was a part of me. I didn't want to leave his bed or his side ever. I wanted to tell everyone that he was mine, and I didn't even know what that meant. Was he my boyfriend? Was I just some girl he was sleeping with to occupy his lonely time at Hogwarts? Did he like me or did he just like having sex with me? What did he want? What did he expect? How could this end other than with a broken heart for me?

I wanted to ask him all of this. I wanted to know everything, but then something occurred to me. Something that made me just momentarily forget my troubles and made me smile like crazy.

"Hey guess what?"

Malfoy turned his head but kept it in the crook of my neck before pulling a piece of my hair in between his fingers.

"Our first kiss was three weeks ago last night."

Scorpius tilted his head so he could look at me. "Happy three week first kiss anniversary," he said with a smile before stretching up so he could place a sweet kiss on my lips.

My heart hurt. The agony of feeling this strongly about him felt so good and yet so incredibly painful. He couldn't say things like that when I was so confused about what was going on. He couldn't say things like that when he had my head spinning every time he touched me and my fingertips tingling every time he looked at me. I had to get out of here. I had to have time to think. I had to—

"I have to go to the library," I said.

He looked back up at me and frowned. "The library?"

I nodded. "Yeah, you see," I kept my tone light. "I've got this really mean potions professor, and he doesn't like it when our assignments aren't up to scratch."

"Sounds like a right little prick," Scorpius said with a grin.

"A right big prick," I corrected, making Scorpius grin. He kissed me again and then sighed, rolling off me and onto his side. This time his head was propped up on his hand and he was looking down at me, looking gorgeous and tousled from sex, his gray eyes bright and incredible. I had to look away but I couldn't.

"You're beautiful," I said suddenly.

He laughed. "You're going to make me blush," he said.

I slapped his chest. "Don't tease me." He smiled and put his free hand onto my stomach so he could draw light circles with his index finger while his palm rested on the flat of my stomach.

"Do you really have to go?" he asked.

_No._ "Yeah."

"Will I see you tonight?"

_I can't see you. I'm too confused._ "If you want."

He arched an eyebrow. "If I want?"

I shrugged with a small smile.

"I want to see you," he said, his hand coming up so he could brush my cheek with the back of his knuckles. I leaned into the touch, my heart racing. "Why don't you tell that dick professor to shove his essays up his arse?"

I laughed. "I would, but I kind of have a crush on him, and I want to impress him with my brains."

He ran his fingers down my neck. "A crush, huh?" I nodded, feeling my cheeks heat. "Should I be jealous?"

"Why would you be jealous?" I asked quietly.

His eyes were on my neck as he fingered it. "Well, seems like some old fogey is trying to steal my girl."

My chest clenched painfully and I felt a burning sensation at the backs of my eyes like I was going to cry. I blinked a few times, but I didn't say anything. I was too scared that I would spill my guts if I opened my mouth.

Then he looked up and his eyes met mine. His eyes looked stormy. "And I'm sure he's already impressed with just about everything about you." He leaned in so his mouth was right above mine. "Awed, even."

I closed the gap, pressing up into him and clutching his waist to pull him down to me as our tongues met. I sighed, trying to suppress the riotous feelings inside me as we kissed deeply, his mouth consuming mine and lighting me on fire. Panting, he bit my lower lip and pulled a bit before releasing it. "If you keep saying things like that I'll never get to the library," I said against his mouth.

"That's the plan," he said huskily. He brought the tip of his tongue out and ran it along my upper lip, making me squirm. It was like all the nerve endings in my entire body were hyper sensitive and hyper aware of everything he was doing to me. I couldn't take it as his hand slipped down and gripped my hip, his lips open and just brushing against mine. "You're trembling," he whispered.

"Just kiss me," I said because I didn't want to think anymore.

* * *

It was another two hours before I was able to make it to the library.

It was late afternoon, and my hair was still damp from the shower Malfoy and I had taken together right before I left. My whole body was still on fire with the memory.

I didn't have any clean clothes at Malfoys, so he had shrunk of pair of his sweatpants and given me a gray v-neck t-shirt to wear. I asked him for a pair of his boxers, but he had just grinned and stepped close to me while I was standing at his wardrobe so he could whisper in my ear.

"_I'd rather picture you without them."_

I had shivered so violently from the words and his breath in my ear that I had almost ripped the clothes off and pushed him back into his bed. But I'd resisted by sheer force of will. He had only been in a pair of boxer briefs, lounging on his bed when I'd left. And when he asked me to come back when I was finished, I obviously had no choice but to say yes.

It took me twenty minutes of twirling a quill absently in my fingers and staring at a spot on the table my things were spread out on before I was finally able to concentrate on doing some work and stop thinking about Malfoy. It was next to fucking impossible, but I knew my work situation was pretty desperate. And as much as I knew that Malfoy was sleeping with me and he was also my teacher, I still wanted to do my best work for him.

I finished my Transfiguration and Charms assignments and banged out about three-quarters of my Potions essay when I decided I'd done enough work. It was crazy the amount I could do in such a short time when Malfoy was my motivation.

My doubts were still there. I was still terrified about my feelings for Malfoy, and there was still that niggling thought at the back of my mind that this was all going to end badly for me, making me even worse off than I had been after Hadley, but for now, I wasn't going to worry about it. For now, I was just going to go cuddle with Malfoy and let him kiss me so senseless that I forgot all my worries.

It was dark when I left the library, so I lit the tip of my wand and walked quickly down to the dungeons. The anticipation of seeing Malfoy was seeping into my veins, making adrenaline shoot through me.

_Why had I ever doubted anything_?

I made it to the dungeons in record time. Instead of going through the Potions classroom, I walked up to where I knew Malfoy's door was and I pressed my palm to it. He had charmed the wall to recognize my touch yesterday after I'd gone to Quidditch practice so that I could come back without going through the classroom.

The wall opened at my touch, and I walked into Malfoy's quarters but he was nowhere to be found. I had thought he would be laying against the headboard of his bed, his legs stretched and crossed in front of him while he read a book or something, waiting for me. Or I hoped that. I walked toward his sitting area, but he wasn't there either. I checked the bathroom right before I walked through the door to his office.

There he was, in all his beautiful blonde glory, a crease in between his eyebrows and a quill in his hand. He wasn't in his robes, but he was wearing jeans and a button down. When I walked in, he looked up at me. I saw a startled look pass across his features before coldness settled there. I frowned.

"Hey."

"Hey," he said before looking back down at what he was doing.

I was terribly, terribly confused. When I had left he had kissed me goodbye, rubbing his nose against mine and saying he couldn't wait until I got back. He'd send warm tingles all over my body with that goodbye. And now it was like the last couple days had never happened.

"What's—"

"Look, I'm really busy," he said shortly.

"Oh," was all I could manage to say.

"I've got a lot on my plate, Rose, I don't have time for this."

He sounded like a stern parent telling his child that he didn't have the time to play catch outside because he was just trying to make a living for the family. Or something. I was hurt, but the hurt was masked by the extreme confusion.

"Don't have time for what?"

He looked at me. I thought I saw something pass over his features but I couldn't recognize it. "You," he said. He jerked his head toward me. "This."

"I don't know what—"

"I'm busy," he snapped again.

And then it hit me. This was what had always been my biggest fear with Hadley. He had suggested about a month into our relationship that we should have sex. I had a good excuse because I had only been fifteen at the time, but my biggest fear was that thing that happened in movies and on television and even to some people I knew—that as soon as a girl slept with a guy, he lost interest. I had adored Hadley at that time, and the idea of him not liking me anymore had been unbearable. So I kept putting it off. I put it off until he couldn't take it anymore and then he stuck it in something else.

Suddenly, I was horrified—my biggest fear was steadily becoming a reality.

"Is this really happening?" I said, mostly to myself.

He looked up at me with a frown but didn't say anything.

"Are you seriously…" I laughed a short, humorless laugh. "Wow." He looked at me like he didn't understand, which just made me angrier. "You took my fucking virginity," I hissed at him. "You fucked me on this fucking desk"—I slapped it—"and now you're just tossing me aside like I'm nothing." He opened his mouth. "Don't bother to justify yourself!" I said loudly. "I can't believe this is happening to me." I turned to go but then thought better of it. "You're a dick, you know that? You—" I was cut off when I turned back around. He was right there. And he grabbed my shoulders and looked at me for a long moment before pressing his mouth to mine in a hard kiss.

I shoved him off.

"Don't fucking kiss me!" I shouted. "DON'T TOUCH ME." I felt tears sting my eyes and I wiped my eyes angrily. "You got what you wanted! You—you fucking got what you came for, and now—now you're just, what, over me?"

"It's not—that's not what this is about."

"Oh?" I said with another laugh. "What a fucking RELIEF!"

"Rose—"

"I trusted you, you bastard!" I shoved at him again, but he hardly moved. Why did he have to be so fucking solid? "I gave you—I gave you fucking everything! I—" A choked sob came out of my throat, and I tried to shove him again, but he grabbed my wrists.

"Stop it," he said quietly.

"FUCK YOU!" I screamed in his face. "I'm not going to let you just toss me aside! I'm better than that! I'm—"

"Rose, goddammit." Scorpius grabbed my shoulders and shook them. "McGonagall came to see me."

"I DON'T CARE—"

"Stop," he growled. I breathed in sharply, and he looked at me for a hard moment. Then he spoke in a low voice. "She got a letter from somebody saying that I was sleeping with a student."

Fear gripped my heart.

"What?"

He pushed me away and turned away, running a hand through his hair. "Shit," he said. "I don't know how this could have happened."

I did. I knew exactly how it could have happened.

"So, I think we have to cool it," he was saying. There was a roaring in my ears. I thought I might faint. "I just don't want to get too reckless." He turned back to me. "I mean, obviously I care about you. You're… God…" His eyes slid over me and heat pooled in my stomach. "But I love this job, and you could get expelled, so—"

"I sent it."

"We just…" He looked stunned and confused. "What?"

I blinked slowly and took a deep breath, steeling myself. "I sent the letter to McGonagall."

He took an angry step forward. "Rose, why the hell would you do that!"

"I did it—I—it was before everything—before us—I don't know—"

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

I took a step back, afraid of the anger I saw on his face an in his eyes.

"I was mad at you," I said. My voice sounded so small. "It was after the concert. I… I was mad that you gave me detention."

"I fucking let you go!"

"You let me go after you felt—fucking—guilty about what you did! You knew I didn't put that fucking telescope in your desk—"

"ROSE!" He roared.

"I was mad!"

"You're going to make me lose my fucking job for a fucking detention!"

"That was a once in a lifetime opportunity that you took from me!"

"Are you INSANE?"

"I—"

"You came back," he said loudly. "After that concert, you came back like everything was okay—"

"Yeah and you fucking rejected me!"

His face fell. "Is that…" He took a step forward. "Is that what it was about?"

I shrugged and turned away angrily. "I don't know!"

He grabbed my elbow and turned me back.

"Someone hurts you and this is how you respond?" He gave me a moment to respond but I didn't say anything. "By, what, trying to ruin someone's life?"

I yanked my elbow out of his grasp and turned around, crossing my arms over my chest. "I don't like getting hurt."

"This isn't the way a normal person responds to getting hurt, Rose!"

"Who are you to tell me what's normal?" I yelled, turning around. "You've been fucking one of your students all weekend—"

"Stop." His jaw clenched angrily and I promptly closed my mouth. "I think you should go." He turned.

"Scorpius—" I tried to reach out for him but he shoved my hand away. "Scorpius, please."

His head was bent and his back to me when he spoke. He shrugged helplessly. "If this is the kind of person you are…"

"It's not, Scorpius, I'm sorry—I don't know what—"

"Go, Rose," he said. His voice was so quiet I almost hadn't heard him.

I felt the tears falling down my cheeks. I couldn't go. I couldn't leave now, not with him hating me like this and thinking I was this awful person. I made a mistake, but surely he could forgive me, right? He'd said he cared about me.

"Scorpius—"

"I said go!" he shouted.

And without another word, I turned and fled.

* * *

_Next chapter:_

_Rose can't quite make amends with Scorpius yet, but she can make amends with someone else..._


	20. If I Didn't Know Better

_Thanks to all those who are reading this story!_

_Chapter rated T for language and suggestive themes._

* * *

_There's a hole in what you're saying.  
__I can plainly see.  
__You've a lover that's waiting  
__But baby you're right here with me._

_Oh you might as well be the devil,  
__Keeping me up past three._

_Well you're the one with that apple  
__But baby you can't blame me_

_Oh, why do you keep drinking?  
__Give me one night with you.  
__If I didn't know better…  
__But damn it, I do._

_-The Civil Wars_

* * *

**Chapter 20**: **If I Didn't Know Better**

When I woke up on Monday morning, it took me a few moments to realize that last night had happened, and then it hit me harder than anything has ever hit me before.

I didn't want to say that this felt worse than Hadley. I didn't want to say this was the worse pain I'd ever felt in my life. The pain was still acute—it ate me inside and out the way the pain with Hadley had—but it was a much different type of pain. It was the pain of my own making.

This time everything was different because I had no one to blame but myself for the pain I was in. Hadley had shattered me. He had made me feel ugly and worthless and abnormal because I wouldn't sleep with him. He had made me feel like everything that was happening was my fault because I just wasn't like other girls. Worst of all, he made me feel isolated.

This time it was different because I felt like I had no right to be in pain, and yet the pain was so much more severe—a different kind of severity. In the year and a half that I was with Hadley, I had never, ever felt the things I felt after only knowing Malfoy for a month. He never made my heart race and my skin ignite and my fingertips tingle. He never made me feel like the most beautiful woman in the entire world. He never said the kinds of things that Malfoy said, and he never held me in his arms the way Malfoy had, making me never want to leave them.

When Hadley and I had broken up, I felt pain, that was certain, but it hadn't made my heart actually _hurt_. And right now, as I lay in bed staring up at my canopy, my heart was hurting like it never had. Every beat of my heart was like the sharp stab of a knife, reminding me of everything I'd lost. I had ruined everything by my ridiculous need to protect myself and get revenge on anyone who hurt me.

I just wanted to shield myself from pain. It had hurt too much with Hadley and I wanted to armor myself against anything like that again by retaliating immediately, and letting the person who wronged me know that I wouldn't take it so they would never do it again. I had armored myself—closed myself off to the world by doing so—and the shield had ended up turning against me. It had become the weapon when it was supposed to protect.

I felt like I didn't have any right to be sad. I'd gotten all my tears out the night before, and now I had to face what I'd done. I had made my bed, and now I would have to lie in it.

With heavy limbs and a heavier heart, I swung my legs over the side of my bed and stood up and walked to the bathroom.

Ainsley was in there as she always was when I got in.

"Rose…"

I looked up at her and she looked concerned. Her concern for my wellbeing would have made me hate her a few months ago, but now it only made me feel more desperate and desolate. It deepened the sadness I told myself I wasn't allowed to feel.

"Are you okay?"

I nodded because I knew that if I said anything I would start crying, and I couldn't.

Ainsley regarded me for several moments before she put down what she was doing and walked out of the bathroom. I sighed. I didn't blame her for not wanting to be present for my spiral.

I looked up into the mirror and found that Ainsley was right to question my appearance. My eyes were puffy and red and bloodshot; my face was swollen. My hair was matted and I had lines on my cheek from where I had pressed my face into my pillow and wept all night. I looked terrifying. I looked so ridiculous that I couldn't help it—I laughed. I could only imagine the horror Ainsley had felt at seeing me. I felt it myself. I looked ridiculous.

But as soon as the laughter was there, it was gone—just like my relationship with Malfoy.

I washed my face with cold war, appreciating the feel of the water as it slid down my face. I brushed my teeth slowly, avoiding my reflection as I tried not to remember when Scorpius and I had brushed our teeth together the first time. I pulled my hair up into a messy bun, and stared at myself for a little longer. How was I going to face him? How was I going to go the Great Hall or to class knowing that the guy who had practically changed my life in just a week now despised me?

A small knock came on the door, and I ignored it, figuring it was just one of the others, and they were afraid because Ainsley told them I was a mess in here and they feared what I would do when I was upset.

"Rose…"

I jolted at the sound of the voice.

"Albus?" I reached over and gripped the handle, and he pushed through at the same time I was pulling it open. Seeing him standing there, his black hair a mess like he'd been pulled out of bed and his green eyes bright with concern, I couldn't take it. I threw myself into his chest and sobbed.

"Shh," he said, wrapping a tight arm around my shoulders and rubbing circles on my back with the other hand. I didn't even bother to question how he had gotten up here. I just buried myself deeper into his chest, clutching at the front of his t-shirt and surrendering myself to the pain I was trying not to feel.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Albus asked quietly after a while.

I shook my head. "Not yet," I said between sobs.

"Come on," he said, and I felt him pulling me out of the bathroom, his arm around my shoulders and holding me closely. I noticed when we entered the dormitory that all my dormmates were gone. They probably didn't want to be around for the wrath they feared was inevitable. Albus guided me to my bed and we stopped at the foot of it. He released me for a moment and bent down into my trunk to pull out my white button down school shirt, my skirt, and my robes. He slid a pair of shoes over, and wordlessly, I slipped my feet into them. Then he grabbed my bag and slung it over his shoulder before putting his arm around me and guiding me out of the dorm.

I was grateful that he didn't say anything as he led me through the common room and out of Gryffindor tower. I felt eyes of the few people in the common room on me as we walked through, but I didn't care. Let them see. Let them see Rose Weasley: the woman no man would ever love.

I should have known that Albus was leading me down to the dungeons to his dormitory, but it just hadn't registered with me, and as we got closer and I realized it, fear shot through me.

"I can't," I said.

Albus stopped walking and looked down at me. He studied me intently for a moment, a frown gracing his handsome features that looked so much like his father's. I looked up at him with desperation in my eyes, and he reached into his pocket and pulled out a shimmering object. I didn't have time to question it before he draped the cloak over me, and suddenly I was invisible.

My love for Albus tripled.

He reached under the cloak and grabbed my hand, guiding me down to the dungeons to Slytherin House. Anyone walking by and looking closely might have noticed that it looked like Albus's hand was missing, but the few people who walked by didn't notice.

I followed him blindly, tears stinging my eyes as I remembered the last time I had been in this corridor, running the opposite way, the pain in my chest so intense that I thought I might collapse before I made it to Gryffindor Tower.

Before I knew it, Albus was pulling the cloak off me and guiding me to his bed in his dormitory. His dormmates were sitting around getting ready, but they didn't seem to care at all that I was there. I was reminded once again why I liked Slytherins so much.

Albus sat down next to me on his bed and put his arm around me again. I felt him looking at me, and I knew I would have to tell him, but I couldn't talk in front of his housemates. Even though Slytherins didn't tend to care what was going on in other people's lives, I still couldn't talk openly about the… _relationship_ I had with their Head of House.

As if sensing what I was thinking, Albus released me and scooted back so that he was leaning against his headboard, and he gestured for me to do the same at the foot of his bed. He drew his curtains and leaned back, bending his knees in front of him as I sat against the back of his bed and crossed my legs in front of me, staring at the hands in my lap while me and Albus faced each other. He then pulled out his wand and whispered a few spells. Then he yelled the names of the other guys in the dorm, and when they didn't answer, he looked at me as if to say, _"it's safe."_

I sighed. "It's Malfoy." I looked up at Albus and he had a small, sad smile on his face.

"I figured as much." He tilted his head in a way he was wont to do when he was concerned or wary. "Do I need to beat up another guy for you?"

I managed a smile. "I don't think that'd be a good idea."

Albus nodded. "What did he do?"

My chin began to quiver as the tears threatened again. "It's what I did," I said as the tears began to fall. I wiped them away angrily and took a deep, shuttering breath. Albus just frowned at me, so I took a few more deep breaths before I said, "The note we sent McGonagall."

Albus's eyes widened. "Rose—"

"It's my own fucking fault," I said angrily. "Why can't I just let things alone?"

"He made you miss the concert. He—"

"That wasn't even really why I fucking wanted to do it!" I said frantically. "That night of the concert he kissed me before he let me go."

"Oh."

"Yeah. And then I—I fucking went back to the classroom for… more? I don't know. And he kissed me again but then he got freaked and he made me leave, and I—well, he hurt me! And you know—"

"You don't let anyone hurt you."

"Right."

A pause, and then, "You told him it was us?"

"I told him it was me," I corrected.

"I'll tell him I did it," Albus said quickly.

"Like hell you will, Al," I said. "You aren't going to get expelled for this. It's just—it's better if he just hates me for it."

"But I hate seeing you like this."

I looked up at Albus and he really did look pained, like my pain was transferring to him. The gratitude and love I felt for him was nearly unbearable. "I'll be fine," I said quietly. Then I looked in my lap again. "It's not like… I mean, we could have never worked anyway."

"Rose—"

"I mean, really, Al, what kind of—fucking future did me and Malfoy have?" He didn't say anything, and I didn't either because we both knew.

We had been doomed from the start. I just pushed the process along.

* * *

After classes ended, I was desperate.

I hadn't been able to concentrate in any class at all. In the classes I had with Albus, he tried to keep me focused, but I just couldn't. I had to leave the room just to breathe a bit because I felt so anxious and upset. I didn't eat anything at lunch, and I could tell Albus was getting concerned, but he didn't say anything. He just watched me, and offered comfort when I needed it.

After dinner, my desperation spilled over. I hadn't seen Malfoy all day. He wasn't at meals when I was, and I didn't see him around the castle at all, but I had to talk to him. If I could just explain why I had done it—why I was always so careful about sticking up for myself—he would get it. He knew what Hadley had done to my self-esteem. Surely he would understand that this was a result of that—that I had to protect myself. He would _have_ to understand, or I would make him.

I walked quickly down to the dungeons, and my stomach was churning in knots. I went to the wall where I knew it opened to lead to his quarters, and I put my hand against it. Nothing happened, and my heart sank. He was done with me. This proved it once and for all. He didn't want to forgive me, and he wouldn't. He didn't want anything to do with me, and he had made that clear by taking the charm off his door to let me in. The knife that had been resting in my heart since last night twisted.

But I still had to talk to him. Even if we were done, I still wanted to make him see that I wasn't a bad person. That I wasn't who he thought I was. I walked down the hall a bit and pushed through the doors of the Potions classroom. He wasn't at his desk, but I saw the sliver of light coming out from under the door that led to his office. With a deep breath, I walked up to the door and tried the handle, but it didn't budge. I sighed. He wanted me out. I got it. But, knowing what I had to do, I raised my hand, my fist suspended in the air for a moment before I was able to gather the courage. Then with a brief shake of the head, I knocked.

"It's me," I said into the door.

I looked down and saw a shadow appear briefly blocking portions of the light that seeped out under the door. He didn't open the door for me, though, and my head swam a bit.

"Please," I said quietly, knowing he could hear me. "I have to talk to you. I'm sorry." I waited, but the door still didn't open and the shadow didn't move. "Scorpius, please, I…" I felt tears burn the back of my eyes. I knocked on the door again, harder this time. "Please let me in. I have to see you." Still nothing.

Then the desperation I'd been feeling clawed at my throat like it was a beast trying to get out, and I banged on the door as the tears began to fall. "Scorpius, please let me in—please—I'm sorry, please just—" I was cut off when I saw the light in his office go out, making the knife twist even deeper and harder. Sobs shuttered through my chest as my voice raised and I yelled at him through the door through my tears.

"Goddammit, Malfoy let me in, please! I…" My knees gave out and I slid to the floor, my fist sliding down the door as I went. "Please, please," I said through my sobs, even though he was no longer there. "I… Scorpius, I need you, _please_." I hit the door as I continued to cry. "Please…" my voice was falling away as my throat became overtaken by the sobs. "I… please… Scorpius…"

He never opened the door.

I don't know how long I sat there, crying in a ball against Scorpius's office door, occasionally begging him to let me in. I cried until my tears dried up and turned into loud hiccups and gasps.

As I sat there and the tears subsided, anger began to seep in. I was angry that Malfoy could listen to me crying outside his door and not even care at all. Obviously I meant nothing to him if he could toss me aside so easily after one mistake. He wouldn't even hear me out—wouldn't even bother to let me defend my actions even if they were indefensible. I had given him the one thing I hadn't given anybody and would never be able to give anybody again, and he obviously didn't care about that at all. So, finally, after what felt like an eternity, I stood up on shaky legs as resolve settled in my stomach.

I adjusted my clothing and stared at the door for just a moment longer before turning with my head held high and leaving the classroom, trying to get back what remained of my dignity.

I never saw Malfoy on the other side of the door, his back against it, his hand over his mouth as tears swam in his eyes.

* * *

I walked slowly back to Gryffindor in a daze. A fog had settled over me, and I was afraid it would not lift until I was just able to talk to Malfoy. But he wouldn't listen. He absolutely refused to hear me out, and the anger I felt toward him was building steadily by the minute. The more I thought about crying outside his door as he listened, the more indignant I felt, the more my blood boiled.

But I knew he wasn't entirely in the wrong. I should have never sent that stupid letter! All this time I thought I was doing the right thing, sticking up for myself the way I had been, but then again, it had never happened like this. I'd never done this kind of thing to someone that I cared about. It had always been with the goal of severing ties.

But it was an accident, didn't he see that? If I had known all of this would happen between him and me, I never would have done it. Not in a million years.

But I guess that wasn't the point, was it?

I didn't know what to do. I had so many conflicting emotions. So I just tried to block them out. I tried to tell myself that I didn't really care about Malfoy that much, and that none of this really mattered and that life could and would go on—that I had no right to get this upset over a guy who I had only been… _seeing_ for a week. I hadn't even known what we were. It was over before it even started.

But I remembered him calling me his girl, and my chest contracted painfully. I was on the seventh floor almost to Gryffindor when I knew it was coming—I ran to a tall urn standing in the corner and puked inside it.

It felt kind of relieving—like I was expelling toxins or something.

I stayed with my head bent there for a moment, just thinking, just wishing that this day would just be over.

Shakily, I stood upright, wiped my mouth, and walked into Gryffindor Tower.

I ignored the eyes on me as I walked through the common room and up to my dormitory. I didn't have anything to say to anyone.

When I got up to the dorm, I threw myself face down onto my bed, and then after a moment, I screamed as loudly as I could into my pillow.

"Rose?"

I whipped my head around and saw Meg sitting propped against her headboard with a book in her lap.

"Hey," I said simply, as if I hadn't just screamed like a maniac into my pillow.

"Everything all right?"

I scoffed. "Is it ever?"

She smiled weakly. "I know the feeling."

Silence fell over us, and I sat up in my bed. I was just going to take a shower—hopefully wash away some bad feelings and bad memories—and I stood up to head to the bathroom when Meg spoke.

"I—"

I looked up at her.

"I just…" She looked down. "I wanted to just say sorry, you know… for everything."

"Oh."

"You were right, you know," she said quietly. "About everything."

"I don't—"

"I made it easy for him. That's why he wanted me."

"I shouldn't have said that," I said quickly, even though I'd meant it then, and it was still true. Everyone knew that Meg Bloodworth was easy—we'd all always known it. But I couldn't be the way I'd been anymore. It had never gotten me anywhere. And it lost me the one thing I had actually started to care about in the last year. I had to be different, and I supposed this was a good way to start.

"He tried to get me back, you know." I didn't say anything. I had had an inkling that he would do just that. "After you broke up with him. He"—she laughed—"He said he loved me and he missed me." She looked at me, but I still didn't know what to say. What could I say? That Hadley was a pathetic dick who only cared about sticking it in wherever he could? I just raised my eyebrows slightly, and she smiled. "I told him to go fuck himself."

I couldn't stop the short burst of laughter that escaped my throat. "I tried that at first," I said. "He's nothing if not persistent."

"I'm not getting back with him," Meg said quickly, her smile fading a bit. "I just… I'm better than that, you know?"

I nodded. I knew exactly what she meant.

I sat back down on the edge of my bed. "I'm sorry, too," I said after a moment. I looked up at her and she looked extremely surprised. I chuckled. "I… Sometimes I take things too far," I said quietly. Then I shook my head a bit. "Hadley just really fucked with my head, yeah?" Meg nodded. "I know I've been different… but… I thought I had to be." I shrugged. "Now I'm not so sure."

She regarded me for a moment. "Does this have to do with this morning?" she asked hesitantly. I nodded.

"Not just that, though," I said. "It's just… everything, I don't know."

"I was always jealous of you, you know," Meg said quietly, looking at her hands and playing with a string in her lap. "You're—I mean, look at you!"

Surely she didn't mean right now. I was quite certain I hadn't looked this bad since the week Hadley and I broke up.

"You're fucking gorgeous," Meg said, gesturing wildly with her hands. "And you're one of the smartest people in our year and—of course—you're good at Quidditch, too, and everybody loves you—"

"Not now," I interrupted.

"Well, that doesn't matter," she said, although she didn't disagree. It would have been pointless to disagree on that point. "You just—you've got this famous family, and a lot of your family is here and it's clear that you all love each other. I—I can't remember the last time I even _spoke_ to one of my cousins—let alone, you know—er—had one of them, I don't know, _care_ so much about me like Albus cares for you." I was silent, so she went on. "When… Rose, this is going to sound awful, but I just have to say it, okay?"

I nodded. "Okay."

"When Hadley… when he told me he wanted me it was like… I don't know, it was like I had accomplished something. It was like… I had… It was like I was the perfect one for once," she muttered quickly. "I thought I had achieved something by taking someone from you, but it—I didn't realize at first that… the only thing I had achieved was not being as good as you. You wouldn't give Hadley what he wanted, and I would. I was more than willing, and I thought I was…" She sighed. "Well, I wasn't. You're still better—"

"I'm not better," I said quickly. "I… I'm not better, Meg." I thought about telling her about my whole plan to trick Hadley into loving me again, but I was already feeling bad about everything I'd done. I didn't need another thing to regret.

"I'm just sorry for everything, Rose, I really am."

I nodded. "Me, too."

After that I felt like there was nothing else to say, but I also felt like this was a turning point—that from now on everything might return back to normal—that everything might return to the time before Hadley. And for the moment that I thought that, the weight that had settled in my chest and in my heart since last night lifted just a bit.

With a sigh, I stood up and turned to go to the bathroom but then I paused. "Thank Ainsley for me, will you?" I said. "For this morning." Meg looked confused. "She went to get Albus after she saw me all… whatever… in the bathroom."

"Oh," she said. Her eyes darted a bit before she looked up at me again. "I went to get him."

"What?"

Meg shrugged. "Ainsley came out saying she was worried about you—that you looked upset—so… I thought you'd want him…"

I felt tears burn in my eyes for the hundredth time in the past 24 hours. It was just so overwhelming—knowing that after all I'd done and said to Meg, that she would still think about me enough to know that when I was upset, the one person I needed was Albus.

"It was strange," she said, interrupting my thoughts. "The stairs didn't slide out from under him when he tried to come up." She looked up at me. "It was like… the castle… knew—or something… I don't know."

"Curious," I said, clearing my throat. Meg smiled weakly, and I returned it. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do or say. Again. I wasn't sure where Meg and I were supposed to go from here, so I just turned and went to the bathroom. I needed a long, hot shower to think things over.

My hand was on the knob before I turned back and said, "Hey, Meg." She looked up. "Thanks."

I hope she understood that my gratitude was for more than just getting Albus for me. It was about much more than that.

* * *

_Next chapter:_

_"He hated me. It hit me like a ton of bricks. The look he gave me when he said my name told me all I needed to know. Scorpius hated me."_


	21. No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

_A/N: Thank you so much to everyone for reading and reviewing this story. I'm getting some really good and insightful reviews, and I love all of you for it. As always, keep letting me know what you think!_

_Chapter rated T for language and themes._

* * *

**Chapter 21**: **No Good Deed Goes Unpunished**

The next morning, I woke up and I thought I was going to be sick.

I was sick for many reasons. My stomach was still in knots about everything that had happened with Malfoy, I had come to a resolution the night before that terrified me, and today I had potions.

I was like a zombie when I went to get ready. Unable to sleep, I'd woken up earlier than the other girls, and I was getting ready quickly so that I could get out before I had to talk. Yes, I had opened that new door with Meg, but talking was still such an exhausting thing to do when I was afraid I might burst into tears if they asked me any questions at all.

I dressed quickly, throwing my clothes on and shoving my robe into my school bag before heading out the door and down to the Great Hall. On my way down, I realized I had never been more hyper alert than I was in that moment. My eyes darted everywhere, looking for any movement that could be Malfoy because I feared running into him. I feared what I might do if I saw him alone—fall at his feet, beg, grovel, hold onto him and never let him go—and I wanted to be on my guard in case he snuck up on me.

Luckily, though, I made it to the hall without incident, and I was more grateful than I'd ever been to see Albus sitting with Fergus Bossenen at the Gryffindor table. At first, I contemplated not joining them because I didn't want to interrupt the relationship that I so desperately wanted Al to have, but then Fergus looked up and waved me over with a grin, so I smiled and headed over to them.

"Hey," I said to Al, kissing him on the cheek as I sat down next to him. My new affection seemed to catch him off guard, but I couldn't help it after the love and care that Albus had shown me the other day—I wanted to show it right back. "Hey, Fergie," I said with a smile at him.

"Rose, you look great today," Fergie said. "I love seeing you without any make up or anything. You've got great skin."

I smiled and thanked him. "Albus must have told you I was feeling down, right?"

Fergie smirked and Al looked steadily at his plate.

"Well, I appreciate the compliments either way."

Fergie smiled, and I was reminded of how handsome he was. "So, what's got you so down?"

I shrugged. "Boy troubles."

Fergie nodded. "I know the feeling," he said with an arched eyebrow at Albus. Albus looked up at him and I saw the tips of his ears go pink.

"Don't tell me this one is still giving you trouble," I said to Fergie, who shrugged with a smile.

"Wouldn't want to kiss and tell," Fergie said, making my eyes widen at the implication as I looked at Albus.

"Oh, don't give me that look," Albus said, stabbing at the food on the plate in front of him.

Both Fergie and I laughed, and it felt good. I realized that I hadn't felt happy or light like this since Sunday night—since before I left to study and Scorpius and I had been in his bed, whispering and laughing together—and warmth spread over me because it felt good and right. _I shouldn't be so miserable about him._

"So, what are you guys doing on your date?" I asked Fergie. I wasn't looking at Albus, but I knew if he wasn't outwardly rolling his eyes, he definitely was on the inside. He hated dates—he hated going on them, he hated talking about them, he hated the entire ordeal—except the kiss at the end. He always told me that the only reason he kept going on dates was because he couldn't get enough of that feeling of anticipation right before that kiss at the end of a good date.

"I don't know," Fergie said. "Al won't let me plan anything cool. He just wants to hang out in Hogsmeade."

"I just want to make out in my dorm, so you should be happy I'm being romantic enough to go to Hogsmeade," Albus said poutily. I elbowed him, but Fergie just laughed, and when I looked up at him, the look he was giving Albus was so reverent and affectionate that it made my heart ache. It was so obvious that Fergie was madly in love with Albus, and I wanted to kill Al for not seeing it and appreciating it.

"You're such an arse," I said to Albus.

"What?" he said gaping like he didn't get what the big deal was.

"I don't mind," Fergie said, still watching Albus. "That's how I like my boys—all cynical and sullen."

And then Albus was looking up at Fergie, giving him almost the same look that Fergie was giving him. They smiled at each other—beautiful, genuine smiles full of unspoken words and passion—and I became so insanely jealous that I wanted to kick both of them. But I was just so happy that Al was apparently starting to feel for Fergie what Fergie had felt for him for years.

Then I felt like I was intruding on a private moment as they looked at each other and kept grinning like idiots, so I just ducked my head and started eating. I was ravenous. I hadn't had a good meal since probably Friday morning—I'd spent so much time with Scorpius, and then I had spent so much time mourning him that I'd barely eaten.

"Rose, I need you to weigh in on something," Fergie said.

"Yeah?" I said with my mouth full.

"You're disgusting," Albus said handing me a napkin. I just smiled and took it, taking a big swallow and looking at Fergie who seemed to enjoy my show.

"Al hasn't told Scamander about us yet."

I gave Albus a sharp look before taking a swig of pumpkin juice and looking back at Fergie.

"Albus Potter is a known coward," I said. "That's why he's a Slytherin and not a Gryffindor."

Fergie threw his head back and roared with laughter while Albus shoved my shoulder. "I'm not a coward!" he said. "I just like self-preservation." He folded his arms over his chest.

"Another word for cowardice," I shot back.

Albus shot me an annoyed look. "I just don't see what there is to tell."

Fergie looked a bit stung by that, so—feeling like I had to be in his corner since I couldn't stand Al and Ly together—I rushed to his defense.

"What do you mean?" I snapped. "He's your friend, and he's your ex, and he's in our band."

"So?" Albus huffed.

I gaped. "_So, _you're just going to complicate things if you don't tell him about your feelings for Fergie."

"Oh my god—"

"He's just going to keep thinking that you and him have a chance when you _don't_," I finished with a stern look.

"He knows!" Albus said angrily. "He doesn't need to know about my love life."

"He does if he keeps thinking he's going to be apart of it."

"Rose," Fergie interrupted with a sad and resigned look on his face. "Al's saying he doesn't have feelings for me that are important enough to share," Fergie said quietly.

"Fergie, that's not true," Albus said with a look of desperation. He tried to reach out and grab the hand that Fergie had on the table, but Fergie slid it away and put it in his lap. "That's not true," Albus said again. "You know how I feel about you."

"Then prove it," I said, not caring that I was on the border of intruding on something private. "I'll tell Ly if you don't."

Albus sighed. "I'll tell him," he said. I gave him a look that made Albus laugh. "I will!" Then he looked at Fergie. "Hey," he said, making Fergie look up at him. Then they shared a look that I didn't understand, but it seemed to make Fergie feel better because a moment later he was putting his hand on the table for Albus to take it. The longing and jealousy I'd felt earlier came back with a vengeance.

I wanted Scorpius. I wanted him to want me like Fergie so clearly and desperately wanted Albus. I wanted him to love me. And this afternoon, I would take steps to try and make that happen.

* * *

I didn't see Scorpius at breakfast. He had either come early, or he had just gone to the kitchens to grab something and then took it back to his office. Obviously he didn't want to see me. I didn't blame him.

But I desperately wanted to see him. I just wanted him to look at me—to see me and know that I wasn't as bad as he thought I was, to know I was still the Rose he'd spent the weekend with. I wanted him to see that I was good and not a spiteful bitch.

Al and I said goodbye to Fergie, who wasn't taking N.E.W.T. potions, and I was so happy—and of course, jealous—when I saw Al kiss Fergie on the cheek before we parted with him. When we turned away, I glanced back at Fergie briefly and I saw him touching his cheek where Al had kissed him.

"Why are you grinning like that?" Al asked me as we started walking to Potions.

"Nothing," I said. "Just… Fergie is in love with you."

He sighed. "I know."

I frowned. "You don't like it, though."

"I'm trying, Rose," he said desperately. "I really am. He just wants so much, so fast—"

"He can't help it."

"I know," Al said quickly. "I want to give him what he wants—he's a great guy—I just… Please let me be honest with you without you getting mad at me."

"You still have feelings for Ly, I know," I said with a sigh.

"I don't even know why," he responded angrily, running a hand through is already unruly hair. "He's an arse, and all he does is complain, and he's always trying to change me when Fergie…"

"He loves you exactly as you are."

Albus let out a slow, full exhale, and I reach up and put my arm around him. He was much taller than me so it was difficult, but I managed by letting my arm hang off the back of his shoulder while I squeeze his shoulder.

"Fergie is perfect," Albus said, looking down at me.

"Yeah," I said, nodding in agreement.

"But he doesn't… he doesn't… light me on fire the way Lysander does," Albus whispered.

I sucked in a breath, knowing exactly the feeling that Albus was talking about. I felt it every time I was even within eyeshot of Scorpius.

"He might, Al," I said with a reassuring squeeze. "Let him show you."

Al sighed and rolled his head on his neck. We walked in silence for a bit, and then he looked over at me. "All right, all right," he said, shrugging my hand off his shoulder. "Enough touchy stuff. What's your deal? Kissing me on the cheek, putting your arm around me."

I laughed and shrugged. "I just love ya, that's all."

He narrowed his eyes at me but didn't say anything, making me laugh again. He smiled.

"I'm glad you're smiling again," he said.

"Yeah, well, I've got a plan," I said.

"I don't think—"

"Not that kind of plan," I said, cutting him off. "None of those anymore."

"Really?" Albus looked bewildered.

I nodded. "Really really. I've got something else. I'll tell you after."

"After class?"

"After I do it."

We made it to the Potions classroom, and Albus grabbed my elbow to stop me before we went in. "You gonna be okay?"

My hands were clammy and I felt like I was going to throw up, and my heart was pounding so fiercely I thought all of Hogwarts could hear it, but I just said, "Yeah. Think so."

"I'm here for you, Cheeks."

I raised my eyebrows at him. 'Cheeks' was a nickname my dad had given me when I was little because my cheeks had been so big that he would poke at them and laugh when I would swat his hands away. It had caught on to other people in my family, but I hadn't heard anyone but dad use it in years.

"You better be careful before I get all lovey dovey again," I said.

"Gross," he said.

"Albus!" I said, puckering my lips and making kissing noises. I moved toward him and he laughed and yelped and pushed into the classroom to get away from me. "You don't like my kisses, Albus?" I said in a high-pitched voice before I chased after him with more kissy noises.

"Stop!" Al said, laughing as he ran to his seat and around the desk to block me from him.

"But I wuv you!" I said from the other side of the desk, trying to lean over it and grab him.

"Rose—!"

Al was cut off by the color draining from my face as Scorpius stood up from where he had been crouching behind his desk, apparently gathering some things that he had dropped. He set some papers on his desk, and looked up at us.

"Mr. Potter," he said coldly. "Ms. Weasley."

He hated me. It hit me like a ton of bricks. The look he gave me when he said my name told me all I needed to know. Scorpius hated me. At first I thought it was all just a defense mechanism, but now I saw. I sat down on the stool behind my desk, and Albus came rushing over next to me. I looked down and grasped my knees, trying to overcome the wave of nausea that hit me.

"You okay?" Al whispered, gripping my arm. I nodded. "You look like you're gonna be sick." I shook my head. "Rose…"

"Fine," I said hoarsely.

A few more people came in the classroom after that, and I took a few deep breaths. I watched as Albus transfigured a piece of parchment into a small paper cup and whispered "_Aguamenti,_" before scooting the cup over to me. "Drink," he said. "You look like shit."

I smiled and sipped the water. Then I glanced up and I saw that Scorpius was watching me. My stomach churned again, and I put the cup down and pushed it away from me. I couldn't place his look, but I held his gaze, unable and unwilling to look away. Finally, he was the one who tore his eyes from me, and I felt mildly triumphant.

_Let him see_, I thought. _Let him see how miserable he's making me_.

Class went by in a blur. I noticed that Scorpius resolutely kept his eyes off me the entire time he was lecturing, but when we broke off to work on our potions, I knew—I could feel—that he was watching me. My movements were slow and measured because my hands were shaking so badly that I knew if I moved too fast I would ruin my potion and possibly shatter glass phials—the phials that I had probably filled weeks earlier in one of the stupid detentions that had started this all.

Albus would periodically ask me if I was okay, and every time I reassured him I was, the more skeptical I could feel him becoming about the truth in that statement.

When class was over, I told Albus to go on without me, and he did without questioning it. As soon as everyone was gone, I walked up to Scorpius's desk, and he looked up at me, startled when he realized I was the only person left in the room.

"Ms. Weasley—"

"Stop it," I snapped. "Stop with the fucking 'Ms. Weasley.'" Then I softened a bit. "I know you hate me, and I don't blame you, but I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry. I—"

He held up a hand. "I don't need to hear it," he said coldly.

"Scorpius—"

He looked pained when I said his name, but the look quickly passed. "I'm busy, Ms. Weasley."

"You seriously won't hear me out at all?"

He looked at me hard for a moment, and my chest clenched painfully. Then he sighed before gathering up his things and turning. "I don't think there's anything left to say," he said quietly before he walked into his office and slammed the door.

I heard the lock click, and tears stung my eyes before I blinked quickly to make them go away, and I decided that I would have to go with Plan B. There was only one way I could make this better—there was only one way that he could see how truly sorry I was and how desperately I wanted him to forgive me. So with that in mind, I grabbed my stuff and headed out the door.

* * *

"What can I do for you, Weasley?" McGonagall said before walking around her desk and slowly taking a seat in her high-backed chair. Sometimes when McGonagall commanded the attention of the entire school I forgot how old she was—that she had been here long before even Ron and Hermione were at Hogwarts—but now, seeing her slowly sit as her old bones resisted, just for a moment, I could see that she was getting on in age.

Just like the few other times that I had been in the Headmistress's office, I couldn't help but glance around in wonder at the huge, circular room around me. When I glanced out the high windows, I could see the Quidditch pitch below, which made me wonder how many times McGonagall had looked down among the Gryffindors—the house that she used to be the head of—and watched us, scrutinizing us, as we practiced.

There were various knickknacks around the room, but the room was fairly bare—books lined shelves, and plaques and awards were around the room to show Professor McGonagall's various achievements. She also had a bowl of licorice snaps in the middle of the room that she told me once she had never eaten. They were simply a tribute to the man who had occupied the office two terms before her.

Which reminded me of by far my favorite part of the office—the portraits of all of the headmasters and mistresses that had ever served at Hogwarts. I glanced at them, most of them eying me suspiciously, other preoccupied with themselves—I thought I saw two playing a game of chess, each with a board in their own portraits, and moving the other players pieces to correspond with the moves they made in the other portrait.

When I landed on the most recent headmasters, I got the familiar chill I always got when I remembered all the stories Ron and Hermione had told me and Hugo about the both of them—my cousin's namesakes. Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape, both of whom were watching me very closely.

"Professor, I—"

"Looks like Granger," I heard someone say. I looked up and saw Snape staring at me with narrowed eyes. "Prettier, though," he said.

"Severus," Dumbledore admonished while McGonagall shook her head.

"Of course Weasley's red hair," Snape remarked.

"Hmm," Dumbledore said thoughtfully, studying me and making me flush with embarrassment under his gaze. "A bit darker than the other Weasleys, though."

"When you two are finished commenting on my student's appearance, we have things to discuss," McGonagall snapped at the two of them. From where I was standing, I saw Dumbledore's cheeks pink underneath his glasses while Snape scowled. I smiled.

"Please sit, Weasley," McGonagall said when she turned back to me, and my smile faded.

"I'd prefer to stand if you don't mind, Professor."

She gave me a stern look and then shrugged. "As you wish," she said. "Now, what is it?"

_Always straight to the point with her_.

"I wanted to talk to you about something… Something I did."

She frowned. "Yes?"

"I—erm—" My heart was pounding and I felt light-headed. I thought I should have taken McGonagall up on her offer for a seat.

"Spit it out, Weasley."

"I wrote a letter to you about Malfoy."

Her eyes widened.

"What?"

"A letter… About Malfoy… And a—erm—a student…" I exhaled quickly. "I wrote it."

"You and Malfoy—"

"No!" I said quickly even though it was true that yes… Me and Malfoy… "I just… I wanted to get back at him."

"Get back at him," she repeated.

"I wanted to get back at him for making me miss that concert even though I didn't put that telescope in his desk and he gave me that detention anyway and I had to miss my band's one shot and he didn't care and so I wanted to do something because he just, you know, he deserved it, and I was upset and I regret it because it was stupid but I just—"

"Slow down, Weasley, slow down," McGonagall said, holding up a hand. "So that letter… Nothing in it was true."

I bowed my head and shook it, feeling ashamed.

"And you thought missing that concert and Malfoy potentially losing his position at this school were equal?"

I said, "Yes," before I could stop myself. Then I added quickly, "But he won't lose his job will he?"

McGonagall sighed. "No, Weasley, he won't."

I took a deep breath. "I understand if you need to expel me, but please let me be the one to tell my parents. It's going to crush them, and I just think it would be better coming from me because they respect you so much and they won't want to hear that I got expelled from you because they'll just be so embarrassed, and I already know I'm a disappointment, and—"

"Weasley, stop," McGonagall said. I looked up at her and she looked bemused. I almost laughed—I'd never seen McGonagall look so befuddled. "No one's getting expelled."

"I'm not?"

She rolled her eyes at me. "No, but you will serve detention with me every night for two weeks—"

"Really?"

"Don't look so relieved," McGonagall said. "You will also be apologizing to Professor Malfoy in person—"

"No, please—"

"It's not up for discussion," she said sharply. "I am being extremely lenient with you given the circumstances," she said. "If you hadn't come forward before I found out who sent it, I assure you the punishment would be much more severe, but…" she sighed. "I admire your courage in telling me the truth."

_My courage_, I thought disbelievingly. _Not courage. Desperation. Need—strong unfailing need—for Malfoy_.

"That being said," McGonagall said. "Ms. Weasley, I see what goes on in my castle. I know that you've been going through a hard time this last year or so." I tensed. "That is also another reason why I'm being so lenient, but listen closely, Weasley." She said, her voice getting dangerously low. "If you ever pull a stunt like this again, the punishment won't be so light. I've put up with your behavior and I am at my wit's end, do you understand?"

I nodded.

She nodded, too. "Now," she said, her voice returning to normal. "I want you to apologize to Malfoy—no arguments," she snapped when she saw me about to protest. He wouldn't speak to me. And I couldn't very well tell her that I'd already tried to apologize more than once. How was I supposed to apologize when he wouldn't even give me one chance to speak? "And if he chooses to give you additional punishment, you will serve that as well, do you understand?"

"Yes," I said, my voice small.

"Okay," she said. Then she waved me off. "You may go."

Without another word—afraid that she might up the punishment if she thought about it a second longer—I rushed from her office. On my way out, I swore I heard someone say, "Typical Weasley."

* * *

_Next chapter:_

_Rose gets a distraction from her troubles with Scorpius, but it's not exactly the kind of distraction she wants._


	22. You'll Find Someone Else

_A/N: Thanks to all those who are reading and reviewing this story. Sorry I haven't gotten back to all you reviewers personally yet for the last few chapters. I've been on vacation with limited internet access so I haven't really had a chance, and I wanted to use the little time I've had to post chapters. I also just want to say the more reviews I get, the shorter Rose and Scorp will be apart... Just saying! So keep 'em coming if you want our lovebirds back together! I also want to give a special thanks to **boundtobite****: **you always leave great reviews but I can never thank you in a PM. So thanks for being such a loyal reader!_

_Chapter rated T for language and suggestive themes._

* * *

_I used to be the sensitive sort  
__I caught my lovers for more than just sport  
__And now I know all the rules  
_'_Cause our love was so cruel that I learned_

_Well I miss you but not that much  
__It's not like I carry your photo  
__I'm just thinking of you and such_

_-Joy Kills Sorrow_

* * *

**Chapter 22**: **You'll Find Someone Else**

"Rose?"

I was snapped out my reverie—thinking about Malfoy and how I was going to get him to talk to me long enough to just say sorry once again like McGonagall had ordered—by a voice and a shadow in front of me in the Great Hall.

"Hey, Lysander," I said, looking up briefly and then looking back down. He sat across from me, and I resisted the urge to get up and walk away. Albus was moving on. It was okay for me to like Lysander again.

"Do you know you're at the Hufflepuff table?" he asked with a smirk.

I smiled weakly and looked around. "Oh. Yeah, Lucy and Nate were here earlier, but they just left."

"Oh," he said, piling food on his plate. "Cool."

My eyes drifted to the faculty table as I propped my elbow on the table and rested my chin in my hand. Malfoy was there. I could swear it was the first time I'd seen him there in three days. He was talking to Professor Loodle, the Transfiguration professor—easily three decades older than Scorpius, but one of the closest people on the staff to his age—and Loodle was talking animatedly while Scorpius listened politely. He hadn't looked at me the entire time I'd been sitting here, but I'm sure he could see me. I was sitting off to Loodle's right, putting me in perfect eyesight of Scorpius, who was sitting on Loodle's left and looking over at him.

I just wanted him to look up. If he could just give me one glance, I felt like everything could change. Everything would—

"Did you hear what I said?"

"Hmm? Sorry, what?"

"I said I wanted to ask you about Albus and Fergus Bossenen."

I was temporarily distracted from Malfoy. "Oh," I said. _Don't snap at him_. _Just listen._ "What about them?"

Lysander was staring at his plate, pushing around food with his fork. "Are they… like…" He shoved some eggs in his mouth. "Together?" he said with a full mouth.

I regarded him for a moment. "I'm not sure," I said truthfully.

"But there's potential there?" He looked up at me with hopeful eyes—hoping I'd say no.

"Yeah, I think so."

His face fell and he nodded. "Look, Rose," he said to his plate. "I know you hate me and Al together, but I still love him—"

"Ly—"

"Just—I do," he said. "I know sometimes it got bad, but you have to see that even though things get bad, we just—we really want each other. Rose, I think he's my soul mate."

I closed my eyes. I wasn't going to get angry. I wasn't going to bite Lysander's head off. I wasn't even going to tell him what I thought. How could what I thought about his and Albus's terrible relationship matter when he had just told me that he and Albus were soul mates? What could I counter with? No you're not? So I could only say what had been on my own mind about my own problems for the last three days.

"You'll find someone else," I said.

He looked up at me. "What if there is no one else?"

I sighed as Lysander voiced my own fears. "There has to be."

We looked at each other for a few moments before Lysander looked down at his plate again and ate the food in front of him.

"I know you and I haven't always gotten along," Lysander said quietly.

"Ly—"

"But I want to fix that," he said. "I want you to know that I like you and I want to be a better friend to you."

"Okay."

He took a deep breath. "I put the telescope in Malfoy's desk."

My breath caught in my chest and a look of horror came over my face—I could feel that I looked as horrified as I felt.

"Why—?"

"I heard you and Al talking about doing some kind of prank, so I thought we'd, you know… have a good laugh over the telescope."

"_Lysander_—"

"I know, Rose, I know… I should have told him it was me. It was completely fucking selfish for me not to."

"Yeah, it was."

He looked up at me. "I'm really sorry."

He should have been sorry. He put that telescope in Malfoy's desk hoping to impress a guy who was trying to move on from him and his bullshit, and then when I got detention for it on the night of our concert—a fucking life-changing concert—he chose not to come forward because he didn't want to risk missing the concert himself. I wanted to kill him—I wanted to fucking curse him or hex him or fucking choke him until he couldn't breathe. Did he think this was the way for us to get on better terms? Him confessing that he thinks Al is his soul mate and that he ruined my fucking life?

If it weren't for missing that concert, I never would have been with Malfoy. He would have never held me and kissed me—I would have never gone back. He would have never kissed me again. I would have never gotten pissed and written that dumb letter to McGonagall. I wouldn't be feeling the pain I felt right now. I would still have my fucking virginity.

But… I deflated… I was glad I had given it to Malfoy. And I was glad he had kissed me again and again, and I was glad that he held me, and I was glad for the things he and I had shared. Even if now it seemed like it was only causing me misery, at the time I had been so insanely, ridiculously, unbelievably happy, and I wouldn't change that. I wished more than anything that I could be with Malfoy—that he would hold me and love me and be my boyfriend—or whatever. But if I couldn't have him, the memory was still there. And for now, that was enough.

"It's all right," I said.

Lysander's head snapped up at me. "What?" He looked confused and wary. "You aren't mad?"

I shrugged. "What's the point?" A month ago, I would have gotten revenge so badly against Lysander for this that he probably would have had to leave the school, but it wasn't worth it. My need for revenge was what had gotten me in this mess, not Lysander. I was trying to be different. I was trying to go back to who I used to be because being the girl I had become had gotten me absolutely nothing and nowhere. I was trying to be the person I _really_ was, not the person Malfoy and everyone else thought I was.

"What—"

"Being pissed at you isn't going to let me relive the concert. It's not going to change anything."

"I should have told Malfoy."

"Yeah," I agreed. That was certainly true. "But what does it matter now?"

Lysander stared at me, dumbfounded, but I didn't care. I just wanted Malfoy. I didn't care about what had happened a month ago because it wasn't going to get me what I really wanted.

"I'm gonna go to class," I said, standing up and swinging my bag over my shoulder.

"Rose—"

"It's fine," I said. "Really." I turned to go. "Ly?"

He looked up like he was waiting for me to start screaming.

"You really will find someone else," I said. Then I shrugged. "I'll even help you."

"You will?"

"Yeah," I said, making a resolution in that moment. "That's what friends do, right?"

Lysander beamed.

* * *

I tried to talk to Malfoy twice more that day. I ran into the Potions classroom as soon as he let the first years out, but as soon as he saw me, he walked quickly into his office and shut the door, ignoring my knocks and pleas outside the door.

At dinner, I tried to corner him as he was leaving the Great Hall with Flitwick. He had said he was busy and for me to see him after class on Friday if I needed something. I knew he was only saying that for Flitwick's benefit and that if I tried on Friday, he would just ignore me. Again.

But in that second exchange, I felt like I saw something flicker in his eyes. Something like regret and a little something else… I thought it might have been desire, but I had convinced myself that it was just my imagination running away with me since as soon as I got within a foot of him, heat pooled in my stomach and my heart started pounding, and I had to clench my legs together to stop the dull ache that had settled there as a reminder that Malfoy would never be there again.

Now, I was sitting in the library with a quill in my hand and a blank parchment in front of me. I'd been staring at this parchment for at least three quarters of an hour, wondering what I would say.

I had decided after dinner that the only way I was going to get Malfoy to listen would be to write him a note. That way he wouldn't have to be afraid of what else might happen—that way he wouldn't have to go through the apparent hell of just listening to me talk for two minutes.

I just had so much I wanted to say—so much that I wanted him to know and understand—and I was so afraid I was going to fuck it up. I wanted him to know both that I was sorry and what I felt about him. I didn't want him to think I was begging him because I wasn't. Not anymore. I knew now that Malfoy and I were not going to be together again. He had made that clear, and it was time I accepted it and started to move on with my life and take my own advice.

"_You'll find someone else."_

With a deep sigh and a racing heart, I dipped my quill in the inkpot and began to write.

_Scorpius,_

_I just wanted to apologize again for any pain or hardship I may have caused you as a result of the letter I sent to Professor McGonagall. The damage done to me in the past caused me to put up some walls and some defense mechanisms so that I could protect myself from pain. As a result, I retaliated against you when you hurt me the night of the concert. You rejected me, and I felt stupid. I didn't realize that by guarding myself from pain, I would cause pain for others. Actually, no, I did realize that. At the time, I just didn't care. I'm not trying to justify it or excuse myself. I just want you to understand._

_And I want you to know that you've changed me. I don't want to be that girl anymore. I care that I caused you pain, and I care that I put you at risk, and I'm so sorry because I really care about you. I'll never forget the time we spent together. I'll never forget the things you said and the things you made me feel. You've made me different. _

_You're in my bones, in my soul, and I'll always cherish what we had… even if it was only for a moment._

_Hoping one day you'll forgive me,_

_Rose_

It seemed a bit formal, but I wanted it that way. I didn't want it to be a love letter or a plea—I just wanted him to know I was sorry and that I cared for him.

As soon as I folded it up, I looked up and watched as Albus sat down across from me.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi."

"How're you doing?"

I shrugged. "I'll be fine."

He regarded me. "You sure?"

I nodded with a small smile.

He looked like he wanted to say something else, so I just waited.

"I saw you talking to Lysander today," he said after several moments.

"Yeah." I started arranging a few papers, and I bent down to shove them into my bag when Albus spoke next.

"He told you about the telescope, didn't he?"

I jerked up and looked at him. "You knew?"

He shook his head. "He told me a few days ago. I told him he had to tell you." Al shifted a bit. "He said he was going to anyway. I could tell he felt guilty."

"Yeah."

"Are you gonna… you know?"

I frowned. "I'm not doing that stuff anymore," I said. "I can't."

"Because of Malfoy?"

"Partly," I said. "But mostly because it's isolating and exhausting—being the biggest bitch in school."

Albus chuckled. "I can't even imagine." Then he watched me as I started gathering my things and putting them away. "You going to bed?"

I shook my head. "It's early. No, I'm gonna go try to see Malfoy."

Albus looked like he wanted to protest but he didn't say anything. He just kept watching me with concern etched all over his face.

"I told McGonagall that I wrote the letter."

Albus gaped. "What? Rose! Are you—?"

"I only got detention for a few weeks, and…" I sighed. "She's making me apologize to Malfoy."

"Haven't you been trying to do that since Sunday?"

"My thoughts exactly."

"So what are you gonna do?"

"I wrote this letter." I held up the folded parchment. "Ironic right?" Albus smiled. "I'm gonna try to get it to him, but if he won't take it from me, I'll just send him an owl or something."

Albus nodded. "Do you want—?"

"It's just an apology," I said, knowing he was going to ask if I wanted to talk about it. "And a thank you."

Albus gave me a look. "Thanks for taking my v-card and ditching me as soon as the going got rough?"

"Albus…"

"Sorry," he said. "It's true, though."

It was. But I wasn't going to blame Malfoy for my blunders. Malfoy was right to run from me as soon as he could—better sooner rather than later.

"I gotta go," I said, standing up and grabbing my things.

"Good luck, Cheeks," he said. I smiled at him and turned to go. But then I thought better of it. I'd only gotten a few steps away when I turned back and rushed to Albus—who had stood up after me—to embrace him.

"Whoa," he said with a laugh, stumbling a bit as he wrapped his arms around me.

"Albus," I said into his chest. He held me tight.

"You love me, I know," he said. I held him even tighter.

"Do you want me to go with you?" he asked.

I pulled away, shaking my head. "I got this," I said.

Albus kissed my forehead and pushed me away. "Go get 'em," he said. I sighed and smiled. "If you need me later, you know where to find me."

I nodded, and with one last look of encouragement from him, I headed from the library and down to the dungeons.

I didn't have high hopes for this journey. I had a feeling Scorpius was locked in his office and he wouldn't let me in. It wasn't very late—only a little after 8 o'clock—so he would definitely still be up, but if the last few days were any indication, he wanted nothing to do with me.

I made it to the dungeons quickly, and when I pushed into the Potions classroom, I saw that the door to his office was cracked open and light was coming from it. I walked up slowly, frowning and listening when I heard voices coming out. From what I could tell, he was explaining something to a student—a girl. A stupid, simpering, flirtatious girl who kept laughing at everything he was saying even when it wasn't funny.

Jealousy flared through me. _Didn't take long for him to replace me,_ I thought angrily. I had half a mind to burst through the door and tell Malfoy to go fuck himself, but I fisted my hands and dug my nails into my palms in an attempt to calm myself.

"Well, thank you _so much_, Professor," I heard the girl say. "You've been a _big_ help."

"Anytime, Ms. Apple," Scorpius's smooth, sexy voice said. The sound of it made my heart ache. "Just let me know if you need additional help on this."

"Sure will!" I could hear the happy smile in her voice.

Then the door was opening and I was suddenly flooded with light. Both Scorpius and the girl looked startled.

"Rose!" the girl exclaimed.

"Remy," I said coldly. She was a fifth year Gryffindor that Hugo had made out with a few times at Quidditch match after parties.

"Sorry if I went over time," she said to me. "I just had _so many_ questions."

"Ms. Weasley—"

"Just a moment of your time, _Professor_," I said to Malfoy with an arched eyebrow, ignoring Remy. He studied me for a moment before turning to Remy.

"Thank you, Ms. Apple, I'll see you in class."

"Thanks!" she said brightly before practically skipping away.

As soon as the door to the classroom was shut behind her, I rounded on him.

"Rose—"

"I guess that explains why you weren't worried about dropping me so quickly," I spat out, unable to hold it in, feeling the anger and resentment and bitterness from the last few days building up and spilling over inside me. "It must be a lot easier for you to move on when you know you've got something else in your back fucking pocket."

"Dammit," Scorpius hissed, grabbing my upper arm and pulling me into his office.

"You won't fucking talk to me," I said as he closed the door and I yanked my arm out of his grasp. "You won't even look at me. And why would you when you've got leggy blondes with huge tits fawning all over you?"

"Stop," he snapped.

"No! I—Scorpius, I can't move on. And god, I'm trying to, but you make it so hard because of course you're fucking sexy and perfect!" I yelled, gesturing wildly at him.

He rolled his eyes.

"Don't fucking roll your eyes!" I screeched. "You don't even care! I cried outside your office and you just fucking walked away, you bastard. I hate you—"

"Enough," he said sternly, grabbing my upper arms and shaking me a bit. "That's enough, Rose."

I seethed, but I fell silent. He stared at me for several long moments. I could feel my neck and chest heating under his gaze, in his grasp. Desire—white hot and heavenly and so fucking _familiar_—shot through me and landed right in between my legs. I tried not to squirm.

"I can't talk to you or look at you because then I'll want you," Scorpius said angrily, giving me small shakes as he spoke. My heart thudded. "And I can't want you, so I can't look at you, and I can't…"

He pushed away and took several steps back.

"Yes, you can," I said desperately, taking a step forward. He stepped back. "I said I was sorry—"

"It's not just that, Rose," he said. "I mean—look at us—really, I mean, what future did we have? I'm your teacher."

"I don't care."

He regarded me and then sighed. "I know."

"Can't we just—"

"No," Scorpius said, shaking his head. "We can't. I…" He looked at me and ran a hand through his hair. "You have to go."

"Why?"

"Because I can't fucking look at you because when I see you standing there looking fucking incredible, I just see you under me, and I want you so goddamn badly that it hurts, and I can't, and you—you just have to go."

He wanted me. I tried not to do a happy dance right there in front of him. He wanted me _so goddamn badly that it hurt_, actually. I knew the feeling. And there was hope. I bit back a smile, not wanting to betray the hope I felt coursing through me. I didn't want to press my luck. So I would just do what I came here to do. And then I would wait. He wanted me, and if he kept wanting me enough, he would come back to me. He had to.

I stepped forward, holding out the folded parchment.

"What is that?"

"Just take it," I said. "McGonagall wants me to apologize, and you won't hear me out—"

"Apologize for what?" he asked, looking horrified.

"Writing that letter."

"What—you—what, you told her?"

I nodded.

"Why would you—?"

"Anyway," I said, not wanting to explain everything. "That's my apology." I had to get out of there. I felt like everything was hanging in the balance—everything was delicate. I just had to give him the note and get out, give him a chance to think. "So if you could just tell McGonagall—"

"Rose—"

"I… You want me to go, so I'll go." I turned and headed for the door, but my heart leapt when I felt his hand on my elbow. When I turned back he was standing so close. I looked up at him, and my fingers started to tingle. I ran the pad of my thumb across the tips of my fingers trying to get them to relax, and I saw him look down at my hand before looking back up at me.

I don't know how long we stood like that. It could have been ten seconds, it could have been ten hours—all I knew was that he was looking at me with stormy gray eyes, and I felt like he was trying to tell me something but he wouldn't just say it. And his hand was still on my elbow, making my entire arm feel numb, and I wanted so much to just reach out and touch him—to rub my hand along the stubble of his jaw and pull him down into a kiss. My feelings for him were so strong and so acute that I felt tears sting the back of my eyes—not even tears of joy or sorrow—just tears of pent up emotion.

I wanted him so badly. The heat between my legs and the desire in my gut were sending signals to my brain—_leap, jump, kiss, touch_—but I had to tell myself no. _Wait._

Finally, he tore his eyes away and turned around, and without saying anything, I turned and left the room, feeling a torrent of insane emotions.

* * *

When I got back to Gryffindor, I was in a daze. I didn't know what had just happened, and I didn't know what was going to happen, but for the first time in days, I felt relief. The hard, cold weight that had fallen into my stomach seemed to lessen a bit. I didn't feel as nauseated or upset as I had just a few hours earlier. I felt better, and I didn't even know if I had a right to feel better. I just knew that something was different. Or it was going to be.

"Rose!"

I jumped when Lucy leapt up from the couch, and looked at me with her wide, brown eyes. Nate was sitting there with her, looking dazed. Obviously they had just been snogging.

"Hey," I said.

"McGonagall wants to see you," she said.

"What?"

"Yeah, I don't know," she said with a shrug.

"Oh—hey, Nate—okay."

As I walked to McGonagall's office, I felt ill. That relief I'd just felt a few moments ago was suddenly gone. She must have reconsidered. She must have decided that my punishment was too light, and now she was going to expel me.

What was I going to do? How was I going to tell Ron and Hermione? Hermione especially would be devastated. She would never be able to look at me, knowing the fucking monster she had raised—the fuck up that was the daughter of two of the most famous wizards of their generation.

I practically shouted McGonagall's password at the gargoyle when I got there. I was walking blindly—I don't even know how I got to her office. I ascended the spiral staircase that led to the head office, and I heard voices inside. I knocked and when I heard a sharp, "come in," I pushed in.

My biggest fears were confirmed when I saw my mother standing there with wide, sad eyes.

Hermione Granger-Weasley was an elegant woman, in my opinion. She wore her hair in loose buns at the back of her head and neck, while curly fly-aways whisped around her face. She always wore light colors—grays and beiges and whites—always making her look sophisticated in any setting. She was only a bit shorter than me, and significantly shorter than my father and Hugo, who towered over us all. People often told me I looked like her, but I didn't believe it. She was too pretty and too classy for us to look anything alike.

Right now, though, my mother looked distraught. I had broken her heart, and now I would have to look in her eyes and tell her all about it.

"Mum…"

She looked surprised. I'd been calling her Hermione since I was younger—thinking I was cool and unique using my parents' first names. They had never protested it, most likely assuming it was a phase, but I'd never grown out of it.

"Rose…"

Then I looked over and saw Hugo sitting in a chair in front of McGonagall's desk.

Wait. This couldn't be about Malfoy, could it? I was confused. Why was Hugo here to witness my shaming?

"What's—"

"It's your father," Hermione said. "He's in the hospital."

* * *

_Next chapter:_

_Rose and her family head to St. Mungo's to check on her father._


	23. This Isn't Goodbye

_Chapter rated T for language and themes._

* * *

**Chapter 23**: **This Isn't Goodbye**

I couldn't see straight. My vision was hazy and I couldn't focus on anything. I saw people whizzing by me in white coats, talking quickly and waving their wands madly. I couldn't really _see_ the people though—they were just blurs. All I could focus on was getting to my father as quickly as I could.

My mum was tugging on my arm, pulling me forward as she took my brother and me to his room. I felt Hugo walking behind me. He wasn't touching me, but he was a solid force—stoic and silent, but no doubt feeling all the things that I felt as he followed Hermione and me along.

Finally, we got to the room that I assumed was his. My mother stopped outside and took a deep breath before pushing the door open, and I almost collapsed the moment I stepped inside. I didn't—but only because Hugo's strong arm wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me close to him.

"Daddy," I breathed as I rushed to his bedside.

Ron Weasley was the happiest man I knew. He was almost always smiling and laughing and teasing me and Hugo. It was the best when he was with Uncle Harry because they would laugh hysterically with each other, telling stories about work and reminiscing about the past, all while mum and Aunt Ginny just rolled their eyes in an attempt to hide their smiles.

My father was always happy, which is why when I saw him lying on the hospital bed, whiter than a sheet with his eyes closed and his goofy grin gone, it grabbed at my heart fiercer than anything my mom had said.

"_It might scare you at first."_

"_He's in bad shape, baby."_

I reached down tentatively to hold my father's free hand. His other hand was being held in between the hands of his older brother, George, who was watching him carefully, trying to will him awake with his eyes.

"Hey, runts," Uncle George said when he glanced up at me and Hugo and wiped unshed tears away. "Took you long enough." There was a trace of a smile on his face, but I couldn't smile back—my muscles just wouldn't respond.

I looked over in the corner and saw my Uncle Harry, his back to the room and his arms folded across his chest, looking out the window in silence. He didn't turn when we came in, and none of the others in the room called out to him. I imagined that was because he had probably been in that position for a while. My dad's sister was sitting next to George, apparently reading something that looked like a wizarding medical book, no doubt trying to find a solution to whatever was ailing my father. I almost smiled as I imagined my mother handing her the book and telling her where to look right before she'd left to come and get Hugo and me at Hogwarts. She was always very diligent, my mother.

My mother was standing next to me, crying quietly—I only knew she was crying because she was shaking gently. My brother stood behind me, watching my father with a look of anger, fear, and disbelief on his face.

"What happened?" Hugo asked as I slipped into the chair opposite Uncle George and assumed the same position he was in, holding my father's other hand. He felt so cold.

"A curse," Aunt Ginny said, looking up from her reading. "He and Harry were on assignment, and my brother—the damn fool—always trying to be so brave... Trying to…"

She trailed off as George whipped around and gave her a stern look. I knew what she was going to say though—trying to outshine my uncle. He was always secretly competing with Uncle Harry, and as much as Harry brushed it off like it was no big deal, obviously it had gotten him in trouble this time.

"He should have just stayed working with me at the joke shop," George muttered.

"Oh, like it's less dangerous there," Ginny snapped with good nature.

George smiled. "No, I guess you're right."

"Where are the healers?" Hugo asked. I reached up and brushed a lock of red hair off my father's forehead. _Wake up_, I willed. _Just wake up_.

Ginny looked up at my mother, and George looked at Ron. Mum then put her face in her hands.

"Mum…" I said, reaching out to rub a hand down her arm. "Mum, what is it?" I looked around before looking back at her. "Where are the healers?" My voice became a bit more stern.

Several moments passed before anyone said anything, and nervousness and alarm sank into my stomach. What weren't they telling us? Why weren't they saying anything?

"There's nothing they can do for him."

Uncle Harry's voice rang out clearly in the room even with his back turned. He sounded angry, withdrawn. I whipped my head to him and then back to Hermione.

"Hermione, what does that mean?" I said, slipping into my old habit. I thought I heard Uncle George chuckle. Hermione only cried harder.

"These damn idiots," Harry said, still staring out the window. "They don't know what they're dealing with. I've flooed all my contacts throughout the country and in Europe. I've got a few experts apparating in because these bloody fools don't know what the problem is."

"It's a curse, sweetheart," Aunt Ginny said. "It's complicated stuff."

"Complicated, my arse," Harry said, whipping around. "These people are supposed to be the best healers in Europe," he said, gesturing to healers that weren't in the room. "And they can't even figure out a simple curse!"

"Harry…"

"Wait," I said, holding up a hand, unable to believe what I was hearing. "Just wait. I'm confused. What do you mean? What are you saying?"

For a while, no one spoke. Harry seethed and turned back to his window. My mum cried into her hands, while Ginny stared at the book, and George stared at Ron.

"Dad's dying," Hugo finally spoke up. "They're saying dad's going to die."

"What?" I said loudly, horrified. "What are you talking about?" I whipped my head around to all the adults in the room. "Mum? _Hermione_! Uncle Harry?" I turned to him, but he didn't face me. "He can't be dying—what do you mean—just—fuck, just fix him, come on, someone fucking do something!"

When my mother didn't correct my language, I knew it was bad. She was always trying to get me to stop swearing.

"That's what I'm saying," Harry said to the window. "Bloody fools," he muttered, obviously talking about the healers again.

"What? This can't…"

"Rose," Hermione said, wiping her tears, taking a deep breath, and moving to put a hand on my shoulder. "I… Honey, I brought you here…" She closed her eyes and when she opened them, they were swimming with tears again. "I brought you here to say goodbye."

A cold hand clenched my heart and I let out a sob. "That… Mum… Oh, god…" I grabbed my father's hand tighter, and turned to bury my face onto his bed as I sobbed into it. This couldn't be happening. This couldn't be real. My father couldn't be _dying_. He was young—he was young and youthful and he was always laughing and telling jokes. He couldn't die. It wasn't possible. Not yet. I mean, I always knew he would die one day—of course he would—but… a long time from now, when he was old and gray with the beard he was always trying to grow and a teasing arm around my mother's shoulders.

I don't know how long I sat there and cried. But when I finally looked up, the other two Weasley's were crying quietly as well, Harry was still in the corner, and my mum had moved to sit with her back against the wall off to the side of me, next to my father's bed. She had her knees bent up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them as she cried into them. She had never looked so young, so small.

I looked around and saw that Hugo was gone.

"Where's—Hugo?" I asked through a sob. No one said anything, so I walked over to where Uncle Harry was. When I got to him, I saw that his face was wet. "Uncle Harry," I said, and he looked down at me. He brushed a hand over my hair and smiled.

"You're just like him, you know," he said quietly, pushing up his glasses. "Not in looks—you got your mother's looks… But his spirit… his old temper," he said with a small smile. "You've got his fire."

"Isn't there anything that can be done?"

He looked at me sadly, and when he didn't say anything, I started to cry again. He wrapped his arms around me, and I cried into his chest.

"I'm trying, Cheeks," he whispered. "I won't let him go that easily."

* * *

I didn't realize I had fallen asleep. I didn't realize it until I was being lifted by strong arms, temporarily removing me from my dreams.

"Wha…?"

"Shh, go back to sleep," a voice said that my brain registered as Uncle Harry's. Then I was placed gently onto something soft, and I blinked a bit and saw that he had moved me into a bed in the corner of the room. My eyes drifted shut again on their own accord, and I felt sleep overtaking when I heard voices.

"Ginny…"

"It's okay, baby…"

I heard rustling, and I assumed that my aunt and uncle had gotten into their own small bed together.

"I… Gin, I can't lose him."

"I know."

I tried to fight off sleep so I could listen to their conversation.

"This is my fault."

"Harry," I heard my aunt say in a frantic whisper.

"He… I knew this mission was too much for him. He was exhausted, and it was dangerous. I told him I didn't know if it was a good idea, but he insisted, said he… said he could do anything I could." Uncle Harry paused. "I…"

"It's not your fault that he's so stubborn," Ginny said. "It's no one's fault."

"I should have put my foot down," Harry hissed. "I should have said 'no.' I'm the head of the fucking department. But he's my best friend, and now… now he's going to die because I've always been too afraid to bruise his ego."

"Harry, stop," Ginny whispered gently. "You've been nothing but good to him. Everybody knows that. It's not your fault. You didn't know."

My eyes were closed, and I felt my brain trying to pull me down into sleep, but I refused to let it.

"Why did he have to be so stubborn?" Uncle Harry sounded defeated. I didn't want him to be defeated. If he stopped fighting, it was all over.

"He's a Weasley."

I could almost sense my uncle smiling even though I couldn't see him. They were silent for a while, and I thought they were finished speaking so I let my brain drag me down. But just when I was about to drift, I heard Uncle Harry speak up again.

"Ginny…" he breathed.

"Baby?" I heard her whisper.

"I'm sorry…"

"We'll be okay," she said back.

"No… I mean… Shit, Ginny, I can't…" I heard him sob. "I can't let you lose another brother because of me."

"You stop that," Ginny said gently but firmly. "Ron isn't dying because of you. It's. Not. Your. Fault. And, oh Harry… it's not your fault Fred died."

"I don't know… He… I never had a family growing up, Gin," he said, suddenly changing the subject.

"I know."

"I was lonely and alone for so long. I thought no one would ever love me or be there for me. I didn't think anyone would ever really… _care_ about me, you know? I didn't think I deserved a family, but… Ron…" I heard the emotion in his voice—it was shaking and it sounded like he was trying to hold back tears. "He welcomed me into your family. He…" He cut off, sobbing, and I heard shifting, presumably my aunt moving to hold him closer. "He welcomed me in without question, without… He… Ginny, he's the only brother I've ever known."

He said a few more things, but his voice was muffled, and I assumed that he had buried himself into my aunt's shoulder or into the bed. I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to think about my strong, fearless uncle crying into his wife's shoulder about the loss of my father—his best friend. I felt tears sliding down my cheeks as my brain finally took over and I began to drift. The last thing I thought off before I fell asleep was of a little black-haired boy with a scar and glasses… on the grounds of Hogwarts, walking along and laughing with his lanky redheaded friend.

* * *

I woke up the next morning to the sound of voices talking quietly. I was confused at first… _Where am I?_ Stretching, I yawned and turned over, and then everything hit me again like a cold, hard punch to the chest.

There was my father, cold and nearly lifeless on a hospital bed in St. Mungo's. Tears immediately stung my eyes, but I wiped them away fiercely.

I looked around the room, and the first thing I noticed was that it was bigger than it was last night and there were small beds and soft chairs scattered around. It looked like the room had been magically expanded. I wondered briefly whether St. Mungo's normally allowed things like this, but then I remembered that my uncle was Harry Potter, and not only was he the head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement at the Ministry, but he was also The Chosen One. No one would have questioned him.

The next thing I saw was a beautiful older woman with long blond hair standing next to a handsome man with shoulder length red hair streaked with gray, a hoop earing in his ear, and scars on his face, adding to the already edgy look that he had. Behind them I saw a young woman and a young man slightly older than me, standing with their arms around each other and talking quietly with their foreheads touching. The young woman looked nearly identical to the older blonde woman, and the man—although it changed frequently—had black hair most likely to match the atmosphere around him. His brown eyes met mine, and I smiled as I stood up and walked over.

"Rose," the older red-haired man rasped as he moved to embrace me.

"Hi, Uncle Bill," I said as I wrapped my arms around his waist.

The older blonde woman came up behind me and put her hands on my shoulders. "Oh, my dear Rose. 'Ow are you 'olding up?"

"Fine," I said to my Aunt Fleur into Bill's chest. Bill pulled back and looked at me, his eyes searching my face. "You look peaked," he said. "Have you eaten?"

"You sound like Gram," I said, making him and a few other people in the room laugh. Then I moved from his arms to go over and embrace my other two cousins.

"Hey, Teddy," I said as I hugged him. He held me tightly, giving me the comfort of his smell and embrace.

"Rose," the young woman said, putting a hand on my shoulder. I turned out of Teddy's arms and went into hers.

"Vic," I said, embracing her. "How's France?" I asked the two of them as I pulled out of Victoire's arms.

"Wonderful," she said. "You'll come down soon?" I nodded and then looked around. Harry was at his window, Ginny and George were in their old positions, and Hermione was sitting in the chair I'd been in last night, watching my father.

"I'm glad you're all here," I said quietly, looking at my father.

"Dom and Louis are still at school," Bill said. "We'll get them… you know… when it's time…" _When my father is dead._ He covered quickly. "Percy and Audrey are outside with Molly, Angelina, Fred, and Roxanne." I just nodded.

"James is on his way," Uncle Harry spoke up from the window. "He's going to get Lily, Lucy, and Al first."

It was almost like Christmas, or another family gathering, except we weren't here to celebrate.

"Where's Hugo?" I said, glancing around and seeing that he wasn't there.

"I think he went to grab a bite," Teddy said. "You should get something, too. Bill's right."

I smiled, but didn't say anything. "Yeah, I'll go. I'll be back in a bit." People murmured their goodbyes as I left the room. I wasn't hungry at all. There was no way that I would be able to keep food down in my churning stomach. But I wanted to see my brother. He was so much like the other men in my family—afraid to let his fear shine through.

When I walked out of the room, I saw more Weasleys and greeted and hugged them before walking down to the cafeteria. In that moment as I left the swarm of my family, I wished more than anything that Scorpius was here. He would know what to say, what to do. He would hold me and tell me that my father loved me, and that it was okay for me to cry, and he would let me cry into his chest. He would tell me how brave and beautiful I was even though I felt like neither. I wanted him so badly that it only added to the pain I felt at my father's condition. I needed him.

Perhaps that was why, as I was walking, I swore I saw his blonde hair turn a corner. My heart leapt, and I rushed to the hallway he had turned down, but when I got there, no one was in sight. I frowned and wanted to kick myself. I shouldn't even be thinking about Malfoy. And of course he wasn't here. He was at Hogwarts, probably thinking about how he would finally break things off with me when I got back. I wondered if McGonagall had told him about my father. I wondered if he was thinking of me, hoping I was okay.

I shook my head and picked up my pace. I was in the cafeteria shortly, and it wasn't long before I caught sight of my brother's red hair.

"Hey," I said as I sat down in a chair across from him at the table he was sitting at, pushing around food on a paper plate.

"Hey," he said, glancing up at me briefly.

We sat in silence while he slid food around and had his chin resting in his hand, and I watched him.

"Is everyone looking for me or something?" he said after a while.

"No," I said. "Just me." He nodded, still not looking at me. Then he sighed.

"I just can't, Rose…" he said quietly. Then he looked up at me, his eyes blazing. "I can't just fucking sit up there and watch my father die."

My heart thumped briefly, but I didn't say anything for a few moments. Then, "Harry's bringing his… experts or something."

Hugo looked at me with a look that could only be described as pity. "Rose, don't get your hopes up. He's… he just doesn't want to give up. If there's nothing these healers can do—"

"They aren't trained in dark curses," I protested. "It's different."

Hugo just shrugged, and we fell into silence again.

"I need him, Rose," Hugo said quietly. "I can't… I need him."

"I know," I said. "Me, too."

"He…" Hugo sobbed. "He taught me how to fly. He taught me how to play Quidditch. What—" He broke off, sobs consuming him, and I moved over to hold him as he cried.

I tried not to think about Scorpius and I tried not to think about my father. I didn't want to remember times with either of them. I just wanted to hold my brother and take away some of his pain. It was crazy—almost absurd—to think that just a few days ago, Scorpius and me were happy—heading down a scary and exciting path—and my father was probably at home with my mother, teasing her and making her laugh. Now I was without both of them, and I would be for the rest of my life.

* * *

Eventually I left my brother there. I told him Hermione would want to see him, but he just shrugged and went back to pushing his food around. I wished there was something I could say or do, but I knew there was nothing. There was nothing left to say, and unlike what me and Uncle Harry wanted to believe, deep down he and I both knew there was nothing left to do.

As I was walking back, I swore I saw Malfoy's blonde hair again, but I just brushed it off as my delusional mind playing terrible, cruel tricks on me. I got back to my father's room, and I saw that no one was milling about around it. I knew it was going to be crowded in the room when I walked in, but it would be a good kind of crowded—a comforting suffocation that distracted me from my father's impending doom.

I pushed into the room, and was shocked to find that it was empty except for two people—my father of course, and my mother, who was curled up in the bed next to him, her arm draped over him and tears falling out of her closed eyes. I pressed my back against the wall so she wouldn't see me.

"… and I was trying to figure out how to kill it, but you just kept yelling at me. And I realized light would kill it, and Harry said to light a fire and"—she laughed through her tears—"I said there wasn't any wood." She laughed again, but it turned into a sob. "And you said I'd gone mad and you said—'are you a witch or not?'" she said as she became overwhelmed with sobs. "I—I think—I—knew—I loved—you then," she said, sobbing uncontrollably. "We—were—twelve—but—I just—knew." She stopped talking as her crying took over, and I listened as my mother sobbed against my father, mourning the man she had loved for thirty years as he laid dying in her arms.

Tears were streaming down my cheeks as I listened to her cry and wail, overwhelmed with grief. I imagined what he would say if he were here. _"All those tears just for me, honeydew?"_ He liked to call her food nicknames because she hated it so much. I managed to smile at the thought.

"I love you, Ron," my mum said, her crying subsiding for a moment. She took a deep breath. "I… I love you so much… I can't… Ron," she said as the tears started again. "I can't do this—without you. I can't—_live_—without you. I need you. I've always needed you. I love you. Please, Ronald, _please_. Just wake up. Please. You…" she choked a sob. "You're the love of my life."

Then I heard a sound like she had slapped him. "Come on!" she yelled. "You've killed horcruxes and fought dark wizards! This can't kill you, Ron. It can't… Please, just WAKE UP—I need you! Rose and Hugo—they need you! Please, Ron…"

I wanted to go to her as she began to wail again. I wanted to go to her and hold her in my arms, but I knew she wouldn't want me to see her like this—begging my father for something he had no means to control, just wanting more time with the man she loved so much.

When I walked into the hallway, my eyes were blurry with tears, but I thought I saw a flash of blonde hair. _Again, dammit_, I thought angrily, trying to tell my brain to pull itself together. But I didn't have time to think about the hair or consider it. Instead, I just collapsed in the chair next the hospital room, buried my face in my hands, and wept.

* * *

_Next chapter: _

_Rose gets a surprise visitor at St. Mungo's. And finally, she says goodbye to her father._


	24. Memory

_A/N: Y'all have been absolutely lovely in your reviews. Keep them coming! I love hearing from you: your ideas for the direction of the story, your suggestions on what you'd like to see done differently, and of course just hearing that you're enjoying what you're reading! Thank you thank you thank you! It gives me so much motivation to keep on writing, which is why I keep updating so quickly. Keep letting me know what you think, and I'll keep the updates coming out quickly. I know it's sad right now (I wrote this chapter and the last chapter with tears in my eyes), but I'm so glad that people have been moved by it because that was my intention. But don't worry, it will get better, I promise. Just keep reading!_

_ Chapter rated T for language and themes._

* * *

**Chapter 24**: **Memory**

Again, I woke up in a strange place. Light was hitting my face, making me squint as I tried to open my eyes. When I looked around, I thought I was in my father's hospital room because I was surrounded by my family, but my father's bed wasn't there.

Fear gripped me.

"Where's—oh my god—"

"Rose, shh." Green eyes appeared in front of me and I looked into them before throwing my arms around Albus and pulling him down until he was on the bed next to me. Al let out a small chuckle.

"Hey—"

"Al… Is he…?"

His eyes widened. "No," he said quickly. "No, no, shh."

"Al…?"

"Dad got us this room next to Uncle Ron's so we wouldn't all have to be in there all the time or lingering out in the hall."

"Is that allowed?"

Albus arched an eyebrow with a wry smile. "He's Harry Potter."

I smiled. "I'm happy you're here."

He smiled back. "Me, too, Cheeks."

"What's with the renewal of my old nickname?" I asked him with a smirk. It was amazing that my mood already felt ten times better just from being around my best friend.

He shrugged. "I missed it." Then he frowned. "Hey, can I ask you something strange?"

I nodded. "Sure, what is it?"

"Is Malfoy here?" he said, lowering his voice.

I grabbed his arm as my eyes widened. "You've been seeing him, too?"

"I thought it was just my imagination—"

"Me too!"

"It can't be though," he said, shaking his head. "I saw him in the Great Hall right before James came. He's at Hogwarts."

"Maybe he has a twin."

Al groaned. "A gay twin?"

I laughed, and it felt so good that I wanted to do it again, so I did. And then I didn't stop. I laughed so hard that I could hardly breathe. I clenched my eyes tight and held onto my sides as I rolled onto the small bed we were sitting on and laughed until it hurt. Finally, I took a few deep breaths and stopped, opening my eyes to see a concerned Albus looking down at me.

"You've lost it," he said.

"I'm allowed," I said with a small smile. He just looked at me sadly, and then my stomach growled so loud that both of us heard it.

"When's the last time you've eaten?"

"What time is it?" I asked, ignoring his question.

"A bit before 4."

"I'll go grab some food."

"I'll come with."

"No," I said. "You stay here." As much as I wanted him to come, I knew he was needed here. "Your dad…" I said, looking around the room for him. "He needs you."

Al sighed. "He's in bad shape," he said quietly.

"So's my mum."

"I don't know what they're going to do when…" Albus caught himself, and looked at me. "If… _if_ he…"

"When," I said, correcting him. It was about time we all came to grips with the inevitable. "When he dies."

"Rose…"

I stood up. "I'm gonna go get something to eat," I said quickly, not wanting to talk about it. "Can I bring you back anything?"

"Everything you can carry," he said. "James came to get us right before lunch. I'm ravenous."

I smiled and he stood up, embracing me before I could leave. I really was so happy he was here.

I wandered to the cafeteria alone, thinking the hospital looked eerily beautiful as an orange glow settled over it as the sun began to set. The oranges and yellows and soft reds bounced against the stark white of St. Mungo's. It was almost cruel that this place of doom made my heart clench at the beauty of it.

When I got to the cafeteria, I walked up to the counter, and looked at what the hospital had to serve. There were no attendants there to give me anything, and all the food was blocked by glass. I glanced down at a plate of mini-sandwiches and my mouth watered. As soon as I thought I would tell the attendant I wanted them, a plate of them appeared on top of the glass casing. I smiled and took the plate before walking over to a large receptacle that held the drinks. I knew how this one worked, and I tapped my wand on the image of the drink I wanted and it floated in the air in front of me before I took it and walked over to an empty table.

I ate tentatively at first, afraid that my stomach might reject the sandwiches that smelled so good. After a few bites, my stomach churned but it held the food down, and I continued to eat.

I ate quickly and slurped the soda I'd gotten through a straw, thinking that Albus would have been disgusted with me if he could see me. I smiled, thinking he was always so grossed out when I ate like this.

I thought about my mum, holding my dad in his bed and telling him all the things she so desperately wanted him to hear. I thought about Scorpius and how I just wanted to see him. My limbs felt shaky as I imagined him sitting at this table across from me, like we were a normal couple. And he would hold my hand, stroking his thumb over my knuckles telling me everything would be okay one day. God, I needed him.

"Rose?"

I choked on the sandwich I was eating, and the guy in front of me reached around and patted my back. I coughed and drank my soda as he sat down in front of me.

"Hadley?" I coughed. "What are you doing here?"

He smiled. "I just wanted to make sure you're okay. I heard what happened."

"McGonagall let you come?"

He shook his head and his face reddened a bit.

I gaped. "You snuck out of Hogwarts?"

He shrugged and didn't say anything. I was completely over Hadley. I hadn't wanted him romantically in over a year—even less now that I had Malfoy to occupy my thoughts—but I couldn't help but think how incredibly sweet it was for him to risk his arse to come here just to check to make sure I was okay. I smiled at him, and he smiled back, and emotion welled up inside me. It was so nice to see a familiar face that wasn't my family—to know that someone out there in the world knew that Ron Weasley was dying—that someone else out there cared.

I could feel tears stinging my eyes, and I looked down to try and wipe them away. I just wanted my father back. I didn't want him to die.

"Hey, hey," Hadley said, scooting his chair around the table and putting his arm around my shoulders. I buried my face into his neck and cried.

"Hadley," I whimpered before clutching at his shirt and crying harder. Why was everything in my life so fucked? Why did Scorpius hate me? Why wasn't he here holding me instead of Hadley? Why was my father dying? Why was my mother going to be left alone without her soul mate? Why was the world so unfair?

Hadley whispered soothing words into my ear as he ran his hand through my hair that I'd pulled back into a long ponytail. It felt good to be held, as much as I wished it were by someone else.

"I'm so sorry, Rose," he whispered, and for some reason I knew he was apologizing for more than just my father. For some reason I could tell he was trying to make up for so much more than that.

I took a deep breath as the tears subsided but sobs still racked my body, making me heave and choke occasionally. I was just about to tell Hadley that it was okay—that everything would be okay—when I looked up and saw my uncle walking toward me, his green eyes glassy and unfocused.

"Rose," he said when he got to me, not even registering that I was being held by my ex-boyfriend. "Come on."

I sat up straight, looking into his eyes, trying to see what he was telling me. _He was gone. My father was gone_.

"Dad?" I said. "He's—"

"Not yet," Harry said with a pained look on his face. The rest was implied: _but soon_.

I stood up, the force of my uncle's words making me slightly lightheaded. I swayed where I stood and he reached out and grabbed me, pulling me to him.

"Thank you for coming, Hadley," I said, tugging on Harry's sleeve to make him stop moving me. "It means a lot."

"You know I'd do anything for you, Rose," Hadley said. I smiled. "See you when you get back," he said. I nodded and then let my uncle guide me away.

"What is it?" I said as soon as we were walking.

He sighed and ran his free hand through his hair—his other wrapped around me. "My guys came," he said quietly, his voice hoarse.

"And?" I felt the sandwiches I'd eaten churning in my stomach, knowing what he was going to say before he said it. He just shook his head. "So that's it?" I said, my voice shaking. He nodded. I grabbed his shirt with both my hands and stopped. He looked down at me with more pain than I'd ever seen in anyone's eyes. "I don't… I don't want him to die."

He smiled through his tears. "Neither do I, Cheeks." He sighed and when he spoke again, I heard and felt the emotion in his hoarse voice. "I did everything I could, but they said…" He swallowed. "They said there was nothing to do… The curse was a strong one, and it's eating him from the inside out. We don't… I yelled, Rose," he said after seeing the look on my face. "I yelled and fought and begged them to do something, but… Cheeks, there isn't much time."

"Okay," was all I could manage.

"Bill and Fleur are with him now," he said quietly. "You'll be able to see him soon to…"

I nodded.

We walked in silence the rest of the way. I felt numb and confused—it all felt so surreal, like I wasn't really here. I wasn't really at St. Mungo's. My uncle wasn't walking next to me with his arm around me. I wasn't really walking toward my father to say the last words I would ever speak to him.

"I'm going to go find your mum," Harry said as we got closer to the room. "Will you be okay for a bit?" I just nodded. I would have to be okay. He gave my shoulder a squeeze before he turned away.

When I walked toward the room, I was about to turn the final corner when I heard my aunt and uncle talking.

"Where are mum, dad, and Charlie?" George asked.

Ginny sighed. "I don't know."

"Mum… she'll never forgive herself if she doesn't get here before he…" he trailed off, unable to finish.

"I know."

"I don't know if I can do this again," George said quietly.

"George…"

"It doesn't get easier, you know," he said. "Missing Freddie."

I almost gasped. It was so rare that they talked about my late Uncle Fred's death. They would tell stories about him like he was just a long lost relative who didn't come around anymore. I had only heard my father talk about the fact that he was dead once, even though I knew that every day on his birthday, he went with my uncles George, Percy, Bill, and Charlie, and my Aunt Ginny to see his memorial.

"I just don't know… I can't lose Ron, too… No one… no one can replace Fred, but—you know—on the days when it was the hardest… Ron was there."

"What are we going to do without him?" Ginny asked. "Who's going to tell stupid jokes and then laugh at them?"

George laughed and they fell silent for a moment. "How's it going, you know, with Fleur here?"

I heard my aunt chuckle. "It's been, what, 25 years since they married, and I still don't think I'll ever get used to her. She's just… I know he can't help it, but I hate when Harry looks at her."

"The man's only human, Gin. It's impossible, physically impossible, for him not to look at her."

Ginny huffed. "I don't care. And she's always simpering and fawning all over Bill."

George laughed. "You know, I think Fleur was destined to be in our family. What?" George said after Ginny had apparently given him a look. I couldn't see, but I could imagine the two of them there, all fiery red hair freckled skin, George with a smirk on his face and Ginny in a perpetual state of eye rolling. "Remember the tournament? The Yule Ball?" George said laughing. "And Ron… I can't believe he asked her."

"To say that he 'asked her' is giving Ron way too much credit," Ginny said, laughing too. "He yelled in her face and then ran away, puking."

George roared with laughter. "Man, I just wish Dumbledore would have let me and Fred put our names in the goblet."

"You two were idiots for even trying."

George made a noise of protest. "What would have been the harm? It wouldn't have picked us over Harry and Cedric anyway."

Ginny sighed. "You never let things go," she said good naturedly. Several moments of silence passed before George spoke up.

"What is it about our family? We must be cursed."

"We're a big family. By the laws of probabilities…"

"Don't talk to me about muggle things."

Aunt Ginny laughed.

"I'm gonna miss him," she said suddenly.

"Yeah. We—"

"Where's Rose?"

When I heard my mother's voice, I quickly rounded the corner. I looked up and saw my brother standing there stiffly with tear-stained cheeks. He must have just finished with my father. My heart started pounding and my hands started sweating. I thought I was going to throw up but I swallowed hard and my mother nodded gently, saying that it was my turn to say my final words to my father.

I walked into the room slowly, feeling the dread hanging in the air. My father still looked the same as he had when I had first seen him. He hadn't moved, he hadn't changed. He was just lying there—his face still and pale, his features unmoving. My legs and arms felt like lead as I walked up to his bed and sat down next to it, pulling his hand in between mine.

I didn't know if he could hear me. I didn't know if he could sense my presence, but I was determined not to cry. If he could hear, I didn't want his last memory of my voice to be me sounding like a blubbering fool.

"Daddy…" I started, taking a deep breath. "Hi." I paused. Now that I was here, I wasn't sure what I should say. There was nothing I could say to accurately express how I felt about my father. He meant the entire world to me even though I didn't always show it. He'd been there for every laugh, every tear, every scraped knee, every triumph, and every defeat. He had been there when Hadley had broken me, and he'd carried me away in his strong arms without a word. How could put into words all that he had done for me? How much I loved him?

I would just have to try my best. "I just…" I swallowed. "I want you to know how much I love you. You make me laugh, and you—" My voice broke but I cleared my throat and continued. "You make me feel loved. You never once made me doubt your love for me. Daddy… I'm worried about mum. She needs you. But… I'm going to try. I'm going to try and be there for her when I know she really just needs her soul mate because sometimes… Sometimes we lose the ones we're supposed to be with, but she…" I started to cry. I couldn't help it. "She'll always have those memories of you. The memories of you being the best husband and father that anyone could ever—want."

I finished with a choked sob and buried my face against my hands that were holding his.

"I know… I know I haven't always been easy, especially this last year," I said into my hands. "But… I'm going to try to change, Daddy…" I said through my tears. "I want to be better because I know that's what you would want. You've always just wanted me to be happy. I—love you…"

I was saying goodbye to my father. I didn't believe it was real, but here I was, clasping my father's hand in between mine and crying against our hands as I said goodbye to the father that had loved me for almost 18 years. He had always been there for me, making me smile, kissing away my cuts and bruises, telling me stories, and always making sure that I understood why I was being punished. He had been kind and gentle, but also firm and a bit crass. No matter his flaws or his triumphs, his past or his present, he was my father. And I was going to miss him terribly.

But then, I almost screamed. The shock was so acute that I saw stars dancing in my eyes because someone had spoken in this room that had only two people in it. And it hadn't been me.

"Don't change for me, Cheeks. I love you just the way you are."

* * *

_Next chapter:_

_Another taste of the present day._


	25. Present Day III

_A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed and who continue to read this story. Please keep the reviews coming! They make me update faster and they help me know what to keep doing and what to change. You have no idea how helpful all of you are! _

_Also, I just want to say that many of you pointed out that you didn't really like it that Hadley came to the hospital in the last chapter. Well, that's good; you weren't meant to like it! Hadley sucks. And even though he and Rose have "made up," that doesn't mean he's less of a douche, so don't be fooled into thinking I'm pro-Hadley because I'm not, trust me. So anyway, enjoy this next present day chapter, and in the next chapter, we'll get back to the meat of the story!_

_Chapter rated M for language and sexual content._

* * *

**Chapter 25**: **Present Day III**

"Rose," Scorpius sighs. "I don't want to fight."

I still feel anger coursing through me, but when I look up at him, I deflate. "I don't either."

"I'm sorry," he says. "About all of it."

I regard him. "Me, too," I say.

"I didn't want this to be about all of that," he says. "I just wanted to see you."

"I know," I say. "Let's just forget it."

We finish the rest of the meal in relative silence. He pays for the check even though I just got an advance for the band's newest single and I had wanted to treat him as a welcome home dinner. I don't protest though. I don't want another fight.

We leave the restaurant and we start walking in the direction of my flat.

"You really do look beautiful," he says suddenly after we've been walking for a while.

"Thank you," I say, blushing a bit.

"I love when you blush," he says, and I look at him, and he's looking at me with heat in his eyes.

"I love when you make me blush," I whisper, remembering simpler times. But have any of our times ever really been simple? I'm not so sure.

"How's everything going with the band?" he asks after a while, changing the subject.

"Good," I nod, looking forward and walking down the street. I keep wondering if he'll take my hand, but he doesn't. "The new single is about to drop." He is one of the few people outside of the band who have actually heard it before.

"Everyone's gonna love it," he says. "It's great."

I look up at him and smile. "Thank you," I say.

"You and Albus together… People are gonna go nuts." The new song will be our only released song that Albus contributes vocals to. It took a lot of convincing from the rest of us, but he finally agreed, and the pay off was well worth it. It was supposed to be two people who had been separated from each other, and they were writing letters to each other in the first two verses, and then they finally met up in the final verse, where Al and I sang in harmony together. He and I had spent weeks working on it to get it just right, and we were both incredibly proud.

I decide to take the initiative. I look over at him and see his beautiful profile before I slip my hand in his. He looks down at our clasped hands and then squeezes as he looks up at me.

We walk together in silence, and I can feel the tension and electricity crackling between us. He's rubbing his thumb across my knuckles as we walk, and I keep looking at him, but he looks straight ahead. I feel like I can see him smirking almost, but I convince myself it's in my head.

Finally, we get to my flat, and we stop outside the steps that lead up to it.

"I'm happy you're home," I say as I turn to face him.

He smiles and reaches up to run the backs of his fingers across my cheek. "I'm happy to be home."

"I'm sorry about earlier," I say. "I think I was just trying to pick a fight."

He sighs. "You have every right to be pissed at me. I shouldn't have left the way I did." He takes a step closer. "I missed you every single day, Rose."

I smile weakly. "You have no idea."

He smiles back and just looks at me. In his eyes I can see that he's struggling with something, but I don't know what. His eyes look stormy, but I also see desire in them. I tilt my head up, offering myself to him, and with a bit of hesitation, he leans down and brushes his lips against mine.

The kiss is so sweet and innocent at first—his lips teasing mine and fluttering against mine. I can feel that he is holding back, so I reach up and sink my fingers into his hair and open my mouth against his so that our tongues can meet. He sighs and reaches out to grip my hips and pull me against him. I smile into the kiss as his tongue invades my mouth and I feel my toes curling.

It feels ridiculous, but it's almost like this is a first kiss. I feel my heart stuttering and my stomach fluttering with butterflies. It has been too long since we've kissed like this, and when he pulls away and rests his forehead against mine, I groan at the loss of contact.

"I love you," I say. "Come upstairs."

He pulls back and looks at me, and then without a word of protest, he grabs my wrist and leads me up.

My hands are shaking as I try to unlock my door. I have to try several times before I'm able to do it, and then finally, he takes them from me and does it himself. As soon as we were inside, he's on me, and I can't take it. He pulls my dress over my head, and I rip his shirt open, sending the buttons flying. He smiles and leans down to kiss me again, and I reach down and fumble with the belt of his pants, unable to wait another moment longer. It's been too long, and I missed him too much. I need him right now.

He reaches up and yanks down the cups of my bra so that they're pushed up in front of him, and after looking appreciatively—making me blush—he bends to take a hardened nipple into his mouth before I'm able to yank his pants down. I moan and press my head against the door as I feel the evidence of my arousal between my legs.

"Scorpius…" I moan as he continues his assault on my breasts. He then sinks lower and looks up at me briefly before lifting on of my legs over his shoulder, yanking my panties aside, and tonguing my clit. I cry out and sink my hands into his beautiful blond hair. It's so arousing to see him on his knees in front of me like that, like he wants nothing more than to eat me inside and out until I come, screaming his name.

I'm about to climax—my whole body is trembling and I feel the tightness coiling inside me like a spring ready to burst. I whimper his name and tighten my grip in his hair, and then I almost burst into tears as he stops.

"Scorp—"

But I'm not given time to protest because not a moment later, he pulls his pants down just enough to expose his thick erection, and then he's lifting me against the wall, and I wrap my legs around him and he thrusts up and into me, making me moan loudly as I wrap my arms around his neck and he grips my arse.

"Fuck," he says as he thrusts into me. "I missed you so much."

I moan loudly in response and grind down onto him, making him groan in pleasure.

He's thrusting into me so hard and fast and deep that it's nearly painful, but I still want more. I don't want him to ever stop what he's doing. I want to remember us like this, and I want him to remember to never leave me ever again. After one particularly hard thrust, I nearly scream and I bow my head and sink my teeth into his shoulder to stop the scream that I feel building in my throat.

I hear him cursing and muttering things into my ear, but I can't hear him.

And then I'm coming, and the force of my orgasm is so violent that I think I'm going to hurt him by how much I tighten my arms and legs around him. I cry out his name, and he continues to thrust into me, still hard and unyielding, making my already powerful orgasm even more powerful as each tremor I feel is met by one of his powerful thrusts.

I come again, and I release it with a loud grunt that borders on a scream.

"Come, baby," I tell Scorpius, wanting to feel his wet heat inside me. "Come."

But instead of releasing himself inside me, he wraps his arms around my trembling body and carries me through my flat to my bedroom. He's been here so many times before, and he practically lives here when he's not at Hogwarts, so he knows his way around.

We collapse onto my bed, and he doesn't allow me any time to recuperate. With a grunt, he's thrusting into me hard and relentlessly, driving me into the mattress and making the headboard of my bed bang against the wall. I'm lucky that my father and my uncle set up permanent privacy and protection charms around my apartment so I don't have to worry about disturbing my neighbors because I know how loud we're being.

"Rose, fuck," Scorpius grinds out. He has a bead of sweat dripping down the side of his face, and I can feel the light sheen of sweat on my body. He reaches down and grabs my wrists so that he can pin my arms on the side of me so that my wrists are by my ears. He's so deep—filling me so completely—that it almost hurts, but the only thing I care about is how good it feels and how I never want it to end.

And then, amazingly, I know I'm going to come again. I wrap my legs tighter around his waist as I beg him to go harder and deeper, and he tells me how beautiful I am and how much he loves being inside me.

"Can you come again?" he asks me in a hoarse voice. I almost want to laugh but I can't because I'm so overcome with pleasure.

"Yes," I moan. "I'm about to."

"I'm almost there," he says. "I can't hold back anymore."

"Don't—hold—back," I say as he thrusts hard into me. "Come, baby," I tell him.

He releases one of my wrists so that he can reach between us, and then with one swipe against my clitoris, I'm coming violently, and then he explodes inside me with a loud grunt, and I moan loudly and continuously as he slowly thrusts into me, milking both our orgasms.

He rolls us over so that I'm on top of him, but he doesn't pull out. We're both panting as we come down from that incredibly intense experience. I'm like jelly on top of him, unable to use my limbs at all.

I'm so weak and exhausted from what just happened that I feel sleep pulling me down. And then with the love of my life still buried deep inside me, I bury my face into his chest and let sleep take me.

* * *

_Next chapter:_

_"I thought I had to stay away from you. I still think I should. But I can't."_


	26. What Just Happened?

_Thanks so much to all of you!_

_Chapter rated M for language and sexual content._

* * *

**Chapter 26**: **What Just Happened?**

My mother was smiling. For the past few days I had been afraid that I would never see my mother smile again, but she had been smiling for past few hours and she was showing no signs of letting up.

My father was telling jokes, making everybody laugh. The color had returned to his skin, and he was sitting up. He still seemed a bit weak—my mother had had to feed him food earlier that he could hardly keep down, and sometimes when he laughed I saw him wince—but other than that, his health was returning to normal and he was no longer dying.

Uncle Harry seemed wary. He was smiling and laughing with the rest of us, but he caught every weak movement, every wince, every pained expression that my father made, and he tensed up each time. I noticed both of them but I said nothing. I was cautiously optimistic, and Uncle Harry seemed to be, too. I thought he was just probably still reeling from everything that had happened over the last 48 hours.

The healers had no explanation. My father had woken up, and all traces of the curse seemed to be gone from his system. One healer had said that the only explanation was the magic in all of us—his family. By all of us loving him and wishing for him to get better, somehow our magic must have transferred to him and killed the curse. Harry had accepted that explanation and hadn't required much more. My mother didn't require much more explanation either, while my grandparents wouldn't shut up with their questions. When I asked Uncle Harry why he didn't want to know more—why he just accepted this explanation—he had just shrugged and said he knew more than anybody about the power of the magic in love.

Gram, Grandad, and Charlie had finally arrived. It had taken an hour for Gram to stop crying. She felt so guilty about not being there for my father even though he assured her he was fine, and she didn't have to worry. My mother just kept smiling and staring at him as if she couldn't believe what she was seeing. Hugo had much the same mindset as Uncle Harry. He seemed tired and wary and as if he wasn't quite ready to celebrate, but it hadn't taken long before Uncle George had started lining the room with decorations for the celebration of my father's renewed life. He created a sparkling banner that read: RON WEASLEY IS NOT DEAD. It made my mom laugh hysterically while Gram had dissolved into tears.

"That was a close call, wasn't it?" my father was saying to Uncle Harry. Everyone had broken off into groups and were talking amongst themselves, but me, mom, dad, Harry, Albus, and Hugo were all sitting around dad's bed talking to him. Me and Al were sitting on two chairs on my dad's right, while Hugo sat opposite us, Harry stood at the foot of the bed, and my mother sat on the bed next to my father with her feet curled under her.

Harry narrowed his eyes at him. "Too close."

Dad chuckled. "Okay, I'll admit you were right."

"You're damn right you'll admit it."

"No more missions like that for a long time," my mother said sternly, although she was still smiling.

He shrugged. "You heard my wife, boss," he said to Harry.

Harry shook his head. "Don't give me that look," he said, apparently catching something that none of the rest of us had. "You aren't going on any missions for a while. Desk work for you."

My father pouted and turned to Hugo and me. "I'm surprised old McGonagall let you out of school even for me."

I rolled my eyes. "She's not heartless, Ron."

He laughed. "I almost died and you still can't call me 'dad.'" I just shrugged with a smile.

"How's Quidditch going, son?" he asked Hugo after shaking his head at me. I looked at Hugo.

"You haven't told them?"

He shrugged. "I thought you would."

"What is it?" my mom asked.

I shrugged. "Hugo made me seeker."

My mom gasped in surprise and my father looked so proud I thought his chest would explode.

"Oh, Rose, that's wonderful, why didn't you say anything?"

"Looks like you're following in your uncle's footsteps," Harry piped up. "Congratulations, Cheeks."

"You better watch out, Al," my father said.

Al scoffed. "They don't stand a chance against Slytherin."

"Shut up," I said, turning to him and shoving his shoulder good-naturedly.

"Rose," my mother said with a slight tilt of her head and a soft expression. I looked at her. "Harry told me that Hadley came by."

I shot my uncle a look and he shrugged apologetically. "Yeah," I said, turning to my mother.

"Are you two…?"

"No," I said quickly. "No it's not like that."

I could feel both Hugo and Albus looking at me, but I refused to look at them.

"Well, I'm glad," Ron said. "I never had a good feeling about that boy." My parents didn't know why exactly Hadley and I had broken up, but they knew how miserable I had been after. Especially since my father had had to come carry me out of the Hog's Head the night I found Hadley and Meg.

"Hadley was always nice," Hermione said, looking at me sadly. "But if there's another boy…"

"There's no other boy, Hermione," I said, and I could feel Albus's eyes burning into me. "Just me." My mother shrugged and turned back to my father, and when no one was looking, I looked up at Albus and shot him a wide-eyed glare, making him smirk.

"What about you and Lysander?" my mum said, looking up at Albus after a moment. The tips of Albus's ears turned pink, and I saw Uncle Harry tense. He and I were both in the same camp. We knew Lysander was no good for Albus and that he deserved better. There were countless times when me and Uncle Harry had sat in the corner together, silently seething while we watched Al and Ly together at some kind of family function.

"_What does he seem in him?" _

"_Hell if I know." _

Those were the conversations he and I would have constantly about the situation. Albus knew his father didn't approve, but that had never stopped him, despite the closeness of the father and son.

"No, we're over," Al said sheepishly, avoiding eye contact.

"We've heard that before," dad said with a small grin. He had a soft spot in his heart for the Scamander brothers.

"_It's like I always say, anyone who can put up with old Loony Lovegood for a mother and turn out even mildly normal must be all right."_

He always said that with a fond smile on his face as if he was remembering days of old. No matter what he said about "old Loony Lovegood," I knew he secretly adored my Aunt Luna.

"Really this time," Al said with a nod. "I… I like someone else." He glanced up at me briefly and my eyebrows shot up. I had been convinced he wouldn't tell anyone about Fergie because he wasn't serious about him. I was so happy that I was wrong.

"Who, son?" Harry asked. I could tell he was trying to suppress his glee. He despised Lysander.

"Fergie."

"FERGUS BOSSENEN!" Hermione exclaimed, shooting up from where she was sitting, making my father wince a bit as he smiled at her. "I didn't know he was gay. Oh, he's so handsome."

"You didn't tell me you liked him," Harry said, looking alarmed. "When he came over this summer we left you alone in the house all weekend when we took Lily to visit James."

Albus blushed. "Nothing happened—CAN WE CHANGE THE SUBJECT."

Me, Hugo, and Dad burst out laughing, while Harry still looked alarmed and confused, and my mother continued to reel about Fergie being gay.

"I can't believe he's gay," she said quietly to herself.

"Should I be jealous?" dad said, laughing.

She slapped his shoulder and he laughed harder. "Oh, shut up, Ronald. I just thought… Well, he and Rose…"

"Hermione!" I said, gaping. "Stop."

"Good lord, woman," my father said, shaking his head.

"What?" she said, feigning innocence. "It was just a thought!"

Albus was smirking at me, so I narrowed my eyes at him. "Well, he's gay, and he and Albus are dating."

"Dating?"

"Oh, Al! That's marvelous!"

Al buried his face in his hands as Harry and Hermione both rounded on him.

"You're dead," Al said quietly to me before starting to answer the barrage of questions that my uncle and mother started throwing his way. I grinned happily.

* * *

He opened the door slowly at first, clearly startled by my persistent banging. He rubbed his eyes, and I tried not to look at his bare torso and chest when he stood in front of me in just a pair of long pants.

"Rose?"

"Hi," I breathed. I was out of breath from running from Gryffindor Tower all the way here. My mother had apparated us back after we got a chance to say goodbye to our father. He told us he would come see us soon, and I made him promise he would before I let my mother take us away.

She'd apparated us back to Gryffindor and kissed us goodnight in the common room, telling us how happy she was and how much she loved us. I could tell she didn't want to leave us after everything that had happened, but eventually, reluctantly, she did. As soon as I was able, I rushed from the room, desperate to see Malfoy. I didn't care if he wouldn't let me in. I just wanted to see him. After the whirlwind of emotions I'd experienced in the last few days, I just needed to see the guy who drove me absolutely crazy.

"I thought you were at the hospital," he said groggily, rubbing his eyes.

"My father woke up," I said.

His eyes widened, and he seemed to wake up a bit. "Rose, that's great."

I took a deep breath—needing to say what I came to say before he made me go. "After he woke up, all I could think about… was seeing you."

"Rose."

"I'm sorry," I sighed. "I know you want nothing to do with me, and I know you think I'm awful, but I can't… I want you so much. I didn't even know I could want something this badly. I want you to hold me and kiss me and… I want you inside me. I can't… I don't think I can go much longer without you. I don't know if I'll be able to hold on. And if these past few days have taught me anything it's that life is _short_, and everything is… fucking fleeting, and I…"

Scorpius's eyes were wide and searching as I spoke. He kept clenching and unclenching his fists as if he was trying to restrain himself. From what, I didn't know.

"Scorpius…?"

"Fuck," he said with exasperation and anxiety before reaching down and grabbing my wrist and pulling me inside.

As soon as the door was shut behind me, I was pressed against it, and Scorpius was all over me. His mouth found mine, and our tongues and lips slid against each other as he gripped my hips to try and yank them closer.

I was desperate for him. I wanted him like I had never wanted anything or anyone before in my life. I sank my hands into his hair and gripped him hard as his tongue rolled over mine expertly, making me whimper. I tried to squeeze my thighs together to stop the ache that had resurfaced with a vengeance—the ache that had been there for days—but I couldn't because his knee came up in between my legs and pushed against me through my jeans, making me writhe against him.

"Rose," he said as I gasped and broke the kiss. He moved his mouth to my neck and I could feel his hot breath there, driving me mad, while his hands roamed all over my body. He was touching me like he was trying to prove I was there. His hands were everywhere—my thighs, my hips, my waist, my arms—and I tipped my head back against the door, loving the feeling of his hands on me. "God, I want you," Scorpius said against my neck as his hand went up to grip my breast.

I groaned and arched into his hand, and then shifted my legs so I could wrap one around him. Taking that as his cue, Scorpius then lifted me up against the door so I could wrap both legs around him. I felt his hard length pressing against my seam through my jeans and I ground down on him, desperate for friction.

"You want me, too," Scorpius said, nipping along my jawline, his warm hands sliding up under my shirt.

"I need you," I breathed, shivering at his touch.

Then he pulled back so that he could look in my eyes. There was something in his eyes—something hungry and passionate—and they were dilated so much that the black nearly took over the gray. He was so hard against me, and I was desperate to have him inside—to have him complete me the way he had last weekend. When I spoke, my voice didn't even sound like my own.

"Fuck me," I said hoarsely.

His eyes widened. "Rose."

"Scorpius, please." I pushed my hips against him again, and he groaned and buried his head into my neck. My hands in his hair tightened and I pulled him up to look at me. "I need you so much." He looked at me, his gray eyes piercing my blue ones, and then his hands moved down to my arse so he could grip me there, and then he moved me away from the door and, without taking his eyes off mine, moved us across the room and onto his bed.

And I did need him—I wasn't just saying that to get him where I wanted him. Over the last few days while I was watching my father waste away, all I could think about was how much I wanted Scorpius—how much I needed his smile and his laugh and his kiss to make me feel better. And before I had known about my father… I remember the desperation I felt when I realized I had lost the guy who I thought might just be my soul mate.

He was hovering over me, watching me, his chest glowing in the moonlight as he braced himself above me with his hands on either side of my shoulders. My knees were bent up and he was resting between them so that I could still feel him, obviously wanting me as much as I wanted him. I reached up to run my hands along his firm pecs, unable to keep my hands to myself. I then dragged my nails down, and he hissed and thrust against me, making me groan and arch.

"Again," he ordered with heat in his eyes, making me squirm under his gaze. I looked at him and raked my nails down his chest again, this time doing it a little harder, making him thrust even harder against me.

Without taking his eyes off mine, he reached down and gripped the hem of my shirt and I sat up a bit to help him pull it off. He then reached behind me and unclasped my bra, pulling it off me before I fell onto my back again. My chest was heaving, and he was still braced above me, his eyes piercing mine so intensely that I almost wanted to look away. What was going on inside his beautiful head? I wanted—_needed_—to know. But before I could find out, he dipped his head and sucked one of my nipples into his mouth. I moaned and arched into him, and wrapped my bent legs around his waist, squeezing him against me.

His mouth felt impossibly good on me. It was wet and wanting, and his tongue swirled around while occasionally flicking at my nipple, making my clit throb with need. I threw my hands above my head and gripped the wooden bars of his headboard, rolling my body into his. I moaned his name, and as if he knew what I wanted, he moved his mouth to my other nipple and slipped his hand into my jeans and groaned in approval when he saw that I was already wet.

He slipped a finger inside and I moaned his name again, rolling my hips into his hand to encourage him to give me more. I was so desperate for his touch. I hadn't even gone a week without it, but I craved it. I wanted it more than I wanted to breathe.

He swirled his finger around, feeling me as he brushed against my sensitive walls. I bit my lip to try and withhold a whimper.

"Don't hold back," he said hoarsely as he slipped another finger inside and shifted his hand so his palm brushed against my clit as he moved his fingers in and out. "I missed hearing you say my name," he said as he picked up the pace of his fingers, making me moan and shift my hips, always wanting more with him. "I missed you like this—under me. You want me so bad."

"Yes."

"I love the way you respond to my touch." His husky voice was doing things to me. Things I couldn't even explain. It always did. It was so low and sexy and perfect and it melted over me and sent shivers through me. It was soft like he was trying to soothe me into an orgasm, but firm like he was commanding every muscle in my body to do what he wanted. It was such a contradiction. Just like him. "The way you move into it like you have to have more."

"I do," I moaned. "I always need more."

"I know, baby," he said, his fingers curling and hitting that spot inside me that only he had ever found, making me moan loudly and arch off the bed. God, this feeling. I craved it, I needed it, and I never even knew what it was until him. His fingers sped up, hitting that spot again and again as his palm brushed against my clit. I was moaning continuously and loudly, not caring, and my hands were gripping his headboard so tightly that they started to tingle from the force of my grip.

And then stars exploded around my eyes, and I made a sound that was between a loud grunt and a moan and a sob as I soared with my orgasm. I deflated against the bed and loosened my grip on the headboard, but my reprieve didn't last long because Scorpius bent up on his knees so he could pull my jeans off. I ran my tongue along my bottom lip as I watched him, his arms flexing as he yanked them off and tossed them aside. He then bent forward and hooked his fingers into my underwear, and he watched me as he pulled them down slowly. When they were off, I bent my knees and tried to clasp my legs shut and relieve the tension there. I had just orgasmed, but already that dull ache had returned that required his presence between my legs before it would ever be relieved.

He smirked and leaned forward to pull my legs apart, and they fell open without resistance—without shame, making me flush—and then his head was there, and I nearly lost it. Seeing him there always drove me mad—his sexy blonde hair buried in a forbidden place, pleasing and teasing me in a way that only he knew how. I reached down and sank my fingers into his hair as he swirled his tongue around my clit before circling my entrance and darting his tongue inside me. I moaned his name and tightened my grip on his hair, making him growl his approval.

It was too much. It felt too good and I knew that my orgasm was going to be too much. I tried to clamp my legs together to get some relief, but he growled again and brought his hands up to my knees to pull my legs apart, exposing me to him even more and making me even more sensitive to his touches.

"Scorpius," I moaned. "Please, Scorp…" I didn't know what I was begging him for. For more? Or to stop torturing me with his tongue? My head was thrashing from side to side as his tongue continued it's assault, and my hands left his hair and I spread them out to the sides, gripping the sheets of his bed as I shamelessly rolled my hips toward Scorpius's face. "Yes," I moaned. "Fuck. Yes. Ah…" I was so close, and my legs were quivering and I was moaning so loudly, but I couldn't stop myself.

Then he released his grip on one of my knees, and he slipped one finger inside as his mouth attached to my clit and he sucked hard as he pumped his finger. I tensed and cried out, and the orgasm was on my so suddenly—my breath caught in my throat and I arched into his mouth as I called out his name. He continued to suck and pump his finger, extending my orgasm as I let out short, shuddering, breathy whimpers, my stomach heaving as I did so.

When he finally stopped, I relaxed into the bed and he brought his head up, his eyes boring into mine. He then wiped his mouth, and it was the sexiest gesture I had ever seen. Heat flooded my already heated face, and he smiled sensually, making my core clench with desire. It was unbelievable that he could make me feel like this after making me come twice in such a short time.

"I love making you come," he said. My face heated further. It always made me blush when he said things like that, even though it turned me on wildly. "And I love making you blush." I bit my lip and tried to close my legs again, but he just shook his head and tsk'd at me as he gripped my knees and pulled them open. "I'm not done making you come," he growled. "You made me go too long without it."

"It wasn't my choice," I breathed in a high-pitched voice as he leaned up and slipped his pajama pants off. I tried not to moan at the sight of his erection springing out. It was so big and hard, and it was such a satisfying sign that Malfoy wanted me. "You wouldn't have me."

He looked at me as he moved up and over me. I saw a dark look pass over his beautiful features, but then he just smirked. "You were bad," he said huskily. "I had to punish you."

I arched an eyebrow. "By depriving me of this?" I said as I reached down to grip his cock with both of my hands. He hissed and bowed his head, and I smirked. See, two could play that game.

Scorpius brought his head up and when he looked at me, his eyes were blazing. "Did it work?" he asked in a strained voice. I could tell he was hardly holding onto his control. I grinned. "Did you learn your lesson?"

"I don't think so," I breathed. "I think you should show me what I missed."

He smiled at me, making my heart flutter madly, before reaching down and grabbing my wrists, pinning them above my head with one of his hands before sinking into me. I released a whimper and lifted my legs to wrap them around his waist. He hissed and stilled inside me after he slid all the way inside. I could feel every inch of him as he filled me so completely. I was so wet from both orgasms he'd given me, but the stretching still produced some very mild discomfort. I didn't care, though, because it felt too good to be worried about how full he made me. I could feel him pulsing inside me, and I clenched around him, making him groan.

"Scorpius," I moaned, desperate. "Move."

"Hold on, baby," he said through clenched teeth. He closed his eyes tightly for a few seconds before looking back at me, and I saw what little control he was holding onto slip from his eyes. _Yes_. I tried to move my hips, but he reached one hand down and stilled my hips with a firm grip.

"Scorpius."

"You're so fucking tight," he growled. My stomach fluttered with need. "If you don't give me a second I'll come."

"Then come," I said breathily as I started to move my hips, ignoring his firm grip on my hip. He groaned and finally began to move, reaching up to grip the arms he'd pinned with one hand. He slid in and out, and I started moaning loudly. How had I gone so long without this? I never wanted him to stop. He completed me when he was inside me, and my walls clenched around him, trying to hold him every time he slid out as if my body was trying to stop him from leaving me. He groaned each time I clenched, and he looked like he was struggling so hard to hold on, his eyes shut tightly and his grip on my wrists so tight that it almost hurt.

"Faster," I moaned. "Yes, Scorpius. Harder."

He growled and sped up the thrust of his hips as I tightened my legs around him, wanting him deeper, wanting him closer.

I felt myself quickening again, and I was amazed that my body was even capable of having another orgasm after the last two powerful ones he had just given me. He bent down and groaned my name into my ear as he started to go even faster, pinning my hips to his bed with the force of his thrusts.

"Not yet," he growled in my ear, his hot breath making shivers erupt across my skin. "Together."

He released his grip on my wrists and sank his hands into my hair as he brought his lips to mine and I tilted my head up and responded eagerly, finding his tongue and sucking on it. I wrapped my arms around him and held him tightly—completely wrapped around him with my arms around his back and my legs around his waist.

I broke my mouth away from his with a gasp and his mouth attached to my neck as I moaned loudly. I moaned with each thrust inside, not caring, unable to control the sounds coming out of my throat.

"Come," he said into my neck. I moaned. "Come, Rose," he ordered, and I exploded around him, calling out his name loudly and tightening my grip on him as he pushed in a few more times before coming inside me with a loud grunt as I rode out that wave again. He was whispering words into my ear, but the roaring in my ears was so loud and I was so incoherent with pleasure that I had no idea what he was saying. My body was twitching and I was breathing heavily and whimpering occasionally as I fell over and over.

After a moment, he tried to roll off me, but I held him tightly.

"Don't move," I said, my voice hoarse.

He leaned up and smiled before lowering his mouth to mine. I sighed into his kiss as he kissed me leisurely, his tongue sliding along mine lazily. After a while, he pulled back and lifted himself up on his elbows. I was out of breath from his kisses, but he looked normal, relaxed. He smiled at me—a real, beautiful, genuine smile. His gray eyes were bright and had the look of a man who'd just been satisfied sexually. _Men_. I wanted to roll my eyes, but he just looked so happy that I couldn't. His hair was messy from my hands, but he looked bloody gorgeous.

He was smiling at me and looking at me like I was the only person in the world—like he didn't want to ever look at anyone but me—and in that moment I knew I was in love with him. My heart clenched painfully and I felt tears sting my eyes because the force of my feelings for Scorpius Malfoy was so strong, and I was terrified.

"Hey," he said, reaching up and wiping a tear that had fallen out of the side of my eye. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I whispered. "You're just… perfect."

He smiled again and bent down to place a kiss on the tip of my nose. And when he did, I fell deeper in love with him.

Then he rolled off of me, and I whimpered a bit when he slid out with a wet sound. He reached over to his bedside table for his wand and waved them over both of us, cleaning us up. Then I turned and curled myself against his chest, my head on his chest and my hand sliding up his chest and neck so I could rest it on his cheek and run it along the stubble there. I could die happy in these arms.

"I'm happy you're here," he said after wrapping one arm around my shoulders and holding me close as he pulled a sheet up over us both. His other hand rested on my wrist as I touched his face.

"I'm happy I'm here," I said quietly.

A few moments of silence passed and then he sighed. "I overreacted," he said simply.

_Shit_. I didn't know we would be getting into this now. My stomach rolled with nerves, and I tilted my head back so I could look at him. "No you didn't," I said. "I shouldn't have done what I did. You were right to be mad."

"I should have listened to you," he said, shaking his head. He looked pained, like he was recalling a bitter memory, and when he spoke again I realized that he was. "I shouldn't have let you sit outside my office like that."

I remembered weeping outside his office, and the memory sent a shudder through me. "You did what you thought you had to do." But I couldn't keep the chill out of my voice.

"I thought I had to stay away from you," he said. "I still think I should." My stomach churned. _No. No, no._ "But I can't."

I smiled and sighed with relief. "I don't want you to." Then I yawned and buried my face into his chest.

"You're tired," he said, running a hand through my hair. He was right. I hadn't gotten a good night of sleep in over a week. "Go to sleep," he said. "We'll talk in the morning."

I nodded and kissed his chest before shifting a bit and getting in a comfortable position so I could sleep.

"Sweet dreams, baby," Scorpius said. I muttered something back but I didn't know what I said because I was already drifting, and soon I was asleep, dreaming of him.

* * *

_Next chapter:_

_"Well, this guy wants to know if that girl he likes so much is seeing other guys. And if so, he kindly asks her to stop."_

_"Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?"_


	27. Who Did I Run To?

_A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! I just wanted to say that for those who have asked, there WILL be a Scorpius chapter very soon!_

_Chapter rated M for language and sexual content_

* * *

**Chapter 27**: **Who Did I Run To?**

It was hot.

I was so bloody hot I could feel sweat glistening on my face. I blinked my eyes open and shut them tightly quickly once more when a stream of sunlight was hitting me on my face. I shifted a bit and then I realized why I was so hot. I was laying on my stomach in Scorpius's bed, and he was practically on top of me. It seemed like I had buried myself under him while I had been asleep. He was halfway on top of me, on his front as well, with our legs intertwined and his arm draped over my bare back.

I turned my head slowly and I was looking directly into his beautiful face. He looked so incredibly peaceful and I didn't want to wake him, but he was so heavy and warm. So as slowly and easily as I could, I turned from where I was underneath him, and gently rolled him off of me. It required a lot of my strength and I was panting slightly by the time he groaned and rolled onto his back without waking up.

He swung his arm up over his head, and I propped myself up on my elbows so I could look at him. It didn't make any sense how handsome he was. His jawline was strong and lined with stubble. I wanted to reach up and run a finger along it, but I didn't want to wake him. He had high cheekbones and full lips that I longed to have on me at all times.

My eyes traveled down from his face to his strong chest and torso. The sheet he had pulled over us had slipped down to both of our waists, exposing my back and his front. His abs were defined, and his chest had thin red marks from where I had scratched him last night. He was so beautiful, and I didn't want to wake him but I couldn't resist. I leaned over him, putting my left arm on the other side of him so I could hover over him without touching him, and I leaned down so I could kiss in between the ridges of his abs. He sighed and squirmed a bit, but when I looked up at him, he was still sound asleep, although a slight frown had creased in between his eyebrows. I smiled and moved off of him and sat up on my knees. I was completely naked, and when I looked down at my chest, I saw that there was a red mark on one of my breasts right near my nipple. I bit my lip when I looked at it—all the signs of Scorpius's desire for me always turned me on so much.

I looked back down at him, and reached up to lift the sheet off his waist so I could look and see what was underneath it. When I lifted it, I gasped.

Scorpius was hard—his erection veined and heavy against his stomach. I whimpered a bit and pulled the sheet the rest of the way off of him. I hoped that he was dreaming of me, of last night.

Very carefully, I lifted my leg and moved to straddle his thighs so that his erection was hard in front of me. I looked up at his face and saw that his frown had deepened but he was still asleep. _Man, he's a deep sleeper_. Then I looked down at his erection and suddenly I wanted him in my mouth. I'd done it before—Hadley had wanted it constantly, but I'd only done it to him a handful of times, and he had always seemed to enjoy it like crazy. I had never really wanted to do it for him, but right now, straddling Scorpius's thighs and looking down at his beautiful body, there was nothing I wanted more on earth than Scorpius's hard length inside my mouth.

I glanced up to make sure he was still asleep before I reached down and gripped him with both hands. He was thick and throbbing in my hands and my heart rate sped up as my skin started to tingle with need and my veins started to race with adrenaline.

My mouth fell open in desire, and before I could stop myself and talk myself out of it by telling myself how awful I was going to be at it, I bent forward and took the head into my mouth.

He jerked up so quickly that he slid to the back of my throat and almost gagged me. I gripped his hips to still him as my eyes watered.

"Rose, baby, I'm sorry—I—oh, fuck…" He collapsed back into his pillow as I sucked him into my mouth, hollowing my cheeks and then sucking them in for a hard suck.

I looked up at him through my lashes and saw that he had draped an arm over his eyes and his mouth was hanging open in pleasure. I was pleased with myself, and as my confidence built, so did my eagerness to please him. I bobbed my head up and down along his length slowly, savoring the taste of him. Then I pulled away and he lifted his arm to look at me as I dragged my tongue along his length before taking him all the way into my mouth again. He groaned and moved his hands down to slip them into my hair.

He tugged at it, guiding me along his length. He held onto my hair tightly, but not tight enough to hurt, just tight enough so that he was in control. I put my hands on his thighs as he moved my head and thrust up into my mouth.

"Shit," he hissed after I gave particularly rough suction. "Like that. Fuck."

His grip in my hair loosened as he bowed to the pleasure, so I was able to take back a bit of the control, and I bobbed more quickly up and down his length, sucking hard each time I pulled up. He was mumbling a stream of curses and his thighs were quivering underneath my hands. I was so incredibly turned on by him and the pleasure I was giving him. He was constantly making me lose control from his expert mouth—who knew I had the ability to make him come undone in the same way?

"I'm gonna come, Rose," he said in a hoarse, warning voice. I sucked harder and sped up. "Shit, Rose, seriously, I'll come in your mouth if you don't stop."

But I didn't care. I wanted him to. I wanted him to surrender to the pleasure the way he always made me surrender.

And then he let out a loud grunt that slowly changed into a groan and hot liquid was spurting into my throat. It shocked me at first and I winced, but then I blinked slowly and loosened my throat and swallowed as the liquid continued. His hands in my hair tightened painfully, but it didn't bother me—it turned me on that he couldn't control himself.

Then he relaxed into the bed and I pulled my mouth away. I saw that he had some liquid still left on him, so before I moved away, I leaned in again and licked it away. He twitched, and I looked up at him and he was looking at me with fierce, hooded eyes. I smiled shyly at him.

"Come here," he growled, and he leaned up and grabbed me by the waist and flipped me so I was under him. Then he crawled down the bed and his mouth was on me and he slipped a finger inside me, and it only took a few curls of his finger inside me and the rough suction of his tongue for a few moments before I was coming violently, my body trembling with orgasm as I moaned loudly and road out the wave.

Before he came up, he licked me clean just as I had done to him, and I keened violently, making him smirk as he came up in the bed next to me and laid down next to me on his side with his head propped up on his elbow, while I laid flat on my back panting.

He looked at me and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. My heart clenched painfully at the way he was looking at me. I took a deep breath to try and control my breathing.

"Good morning, fritz," I said to him.

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Good morning," he said. "To what do I owe that wakeup call?"

I shrugged. "He just looked so lonely down there."

He laughed, and the sound filled me with warmth. "You're referring to my cock."

I nodded. "It is a lovely cock," I said, smiling.

He smiled and narrowed his eyes at me again, clearly trying to restrain his mirth. "I've created a monster."

"You love it," I said.

He regarded me for several moments, and his smile slipped a bit as he stared intently into my eyes. My smile slipped too at the way he was looking at me, and my heart was thundering in my chest.

"Yeah," he said. "I do."

I didn't know what that meant. I didn't know what he was trying to say. My heart was racing and he was looking at me like that and I didn't know what to do.

"So your father is okay?" he said, looking down at me and reaching forward to pull a lock of my hair between his fingers.

I exhaled and nodded. "They don't even know how, but yeah. He's fine."

He smiled, looking at my hair as he twirled it between his fingers. And I had to ask him. It might sound crazy if it was really just all in my head, but I had to know. I didn't think I was crazy.

"You were there, weren't you?" I whispered.

He looked up at me and his eyes were stormy and serious. "Yeah," he said.

In that moment, I loved him so much that it hurt. Scorpius cared about me. Maybe he even loved me, too. My chest clenched violently at the thought. Even when I thought that he hated me for what I had done to him, he still cared enough about me to come to the hospital to make sure I was okay. He hadn't spoken to me or anything, he had just watched me, and to me that meant even more. As much as he was trying to force himself to stay away, he cared too much.

"You like me, huh?" I said, smiling reaching up and cupping his cheek in my hand. I rubbed his cheek with my thumb as he looked down at me with a frown in between his eyebrows. I moved my hand up to rub the frown away with my thumb. "Smile," I said. "I'm not so bad."

A small smile spread across his face and he leaned down to brush his lips against mine, making my heart flutter. "No, you're not," he said when he pulled back.

My smile faded. "I really am sorry for what I did. I—"

He shook his head and slid his free hand back to cup my neck, rubbing small circles with his thumb on a spot below my ear, making me shiver. "I know," he said.

I looked away from him. "I'm not that girl anymore," I said quietly. "At least I don't want to be."

"Hey," he said, applying a bit of pressure to the back of my neck and making me look up at him. "I know what kind of girl you are," he said. "And I like that girl. A lot."

"She likes you, too." My heart was pounding wildly.

"Hmm," he said, leaning down and kissing my jaw. I sighed and my back arched off the bed a bit, instantly craving closeness. His nose ran along my jaw, soothing the burns that his trail of kisses left behind. I reached up and grabbed the wrist of the hand that was holding my neck, just needing to touch him somehow. I sank my other hand into his hair. "Does she want to go steady?"

"What…" My brain wasn't functioning properly. His mouth moved down to my neck and I turned my head to give him better access. I moved my other hand to join the one in his hair while I squirmed underneath him, and he groaned his approval as my grip in his hair tightened.

"Well," he said, his hot breath making me shiver. "This guy wants to know if that girl he likes so much is seeing other guys. And if so, he kindly asks her to stop."

Scorpius's murmured words finally made my cloudy head move back into reality. I stopped squirming and pulled his head up so that I could look at him. I was grinning like a fool. "Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?"

He smiled down at me. "Maybe," he said.

"Hmm," I said. "A secret boyfriend?"

His smile faded a bit. "I wish it didn't have to be secret."

"It's okay, fritz," I said pulling him down for a brief kiss. "It won't have to be a secret forever."

"That right?" he said, his smile returning as he pulled back. "You planning on changing school rules?"

"Well… soon, I won't be your student anymore. I've only got, what, eight more months?"

His grin was so genuine and adorable that I thought I might melt into a puddle and dissolve into his bed. "You planning on putting up with me for eight more months?"

I leaned up and pecked him on the lips. "Longer," I said. "If I have my way."

Before I could get too far away from the kiss I had just given him, he gripped the back of my neck and pulled me in for a deeper kiss. His tongue slid out immediately and met mine, making me groan and wrap my arms around his neck. He tried to push me down onto the bed underneath him, but I smiled against his mouth and pushed off the bed so that I could straddle him, never taking my mouth off his.

"You're stuck with me, Malfoy," I said against his mouth.

"That's good news, Weasley," he said, grabbing my arse and yanking me against him. "Because I wasn't planning on letting you get away anytime soon." He gripped my hips and tried to move me up toward his length that was beginning to harden, but I stopped him and put my hands on his chest so I could sit up and look at him.

"You really wanna do this?" I said quietly.

He nodded. "More than anything." He grabbed my hips again, but I planted myself firmly, teasing him.

"Well, I believe I was promised a date," I said scooting up so I could rub my folds along his length. He groaned and shut his eyes briefly for a moment. When he opened them, his eyes were dilated with lust.

"How about tonight?" he said, his voice hoarse. "You have band practice or Quidditch?"

I shook my head and bit my lip, trying not to smile too big. I couldn't believe my life. Yesterday I had been fucking miserable. My father had been dying, and I had been convinced that Malfoy and I would never be together. Now my father was alive, and Malfoy had just asked me to be his girlfriend. What a fucking whirlwind.

"What are you grinning about?" he said, finally beating out my playful resistance and lifting me before guiding me to his length and pushing me down on him. I tipped my head back and moaned as he hissed his pleasure between his teeth. "You feel so fucking good," he growled.

I slowly started to move, grinding and circling around on his thick length as it pulsed inside me. It was absurd how good he felt when he was filling me to capacity.

"Now that you've finally made an honest woman out of me," I said breathily. "I can finally give you what you want."

He laughed huskily and I yelped when he sat up suddenly and wrapped his arm around my back to yank me toward him, while bracing himself with his other hand behind him. He got, if possible, even deeper inside me, and I moaned loudly as I vibrated with need. His face was so close to mine and I was looking into his gray eyes so filled with need and desire for me. _I love you_. The words were in my head and on my lips as I looked at him, but I couldn't say them. It was too soon. Way too soon.

"You've already given me what I want," he said in his low, sexy, husky voice that he used when he was talking to me when we were like this together. He thrust up into me and I gasped and moaned loudly. "I want you."

And then we were lost in each other. So completely lost in our blind desire for each other. And I never wanted to be found.

* * *

A bit later, Scorpius and I had showered together, and he was sitting on the edge of his bed putting his shoes on, grumbling about one of his students, while I stood in front of the mirror above his wardrobe, listening to him while putting on lip-gloss and checking my reflection.

I hadn't stopped smiling in over an hour. I couldn't. All I could think about was how happy I was—how my life was good again for the first time in over a year. I just kept thinking about Scorpius and I together last night when I came back from the hospital, and this morning in his bed… and then later in the shower. It didn't make sense the way he made my body feel. Sometimes I didn't understand it, but usually I just went with it, embracing the sensations, and letting him take me to places I had never been. I trusted him, and I wanted to be with him more than anything. And now we were together. Like _really_ together. Scorpius Malfoy was my boyfriend. I giggled out loud at the thought, and Scorpius stopped short of what he was saying, making me giggle again.

"What's going on over there?" Scorpius asked. I could hear the smile in his voice right before I heard the bed creak, indicating that he was getting up. And then he was behind me, and he pulled my hair to one side and I tilted my head instinctually as he brought his mouth down to his my neck.

"I'm just happy," I breathed as my eyes fluttered closed and Scorpius's arm came around my waist to pull me back closer against him.

He hummed and I felt the vibration against me. "Me, too," he said. And then he stopped kissing me and looked up at our reflection in the mirror. We looked good together—my red hair, blue eyes, and smattering of freckles contrasting with his pale skin, hooded gray eyes, and perfectly-tousled blonde hair. On paper, it would seem like we didn't fit, but somehow, we just did.

"But we have to go," he said quietly as I tried to nuzzle closer to him.

"Why?"

He studied me through the reflection. "Because you look so fucking sexy, and if we stay in here any longer, I don't know if we'll ever get out."

I smiled at him and bit the corner of my lower lip before I turned in his arms to face him, adopting a pout as I looked up at him and wrapped my arms around his neck. "I don't want to go out there."

He smiled and flicked my lip with his thumb before moving his hands down to grip my hips. "Why is that, baby?"

"Because out there you're my _secret_ boyfriend. And none of those bitches know that you're mine. But in here, I get you all to myself."

Scorpius laughed and the sound made me smile. "You don't need to worry about those '_bitches_,'" Scorpius said, leaning in to peck me. Before he could pull back, though, I gripped his head in my hands and pulled him to me, opening my mouth against his and pressing my hips to his suggestively. His grip on my hips tightened and he groaned and pulled me closer as his tongue moved possessively against mine—his mouth owning mine. It was a new sensation—a kiss like we'd never had before—and I knew he was kissing me like that to show me that I was his, and he was mine, and I didn't have to worry about anything or anyone else.

When I finally pulled away, his mouth followed mine momentarily—desperate for more—before he opened his eyes and looked at me with blazing eyes. This time I flicked his lip with my finger before I stepped away, trying to maintain my cool while knowing that my eyes and the flush on my face and neck gave me away. He smirked.

"That way you don't think about any other girls." I walked over to the door, and when I looked back at him, he was looking at me with an exasperated grin.

"Why would you think I'm looking at other girls? Do you think I'm some creep who preys on all the girls here?"

I arched an eyebrow. "You better just be creeping on this girl," I said, pointing at myself with my thumb.

He growled and practically ran up to where I was, wrapping me in his arms. "You're the only girl I'll be creeping on for a long time. I promise."

My whole body ignited with the fire that only he had ever lit inside me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and smiled. "I like you, fritz," I said.

He smiled. "I like you, too."

Then he pulled away and laced his fingers with mine before walking through the door to his quarters and leading me into the hallway.

"You know we can't hold hands the whole way there, right?"

He arched an eyebrow at me. "We will if I say we can."

I rolled my eyes at him and pulled my hand away—even though I thought he was adorable and I loved him and I never wanted to let go of his hand—when we turned a corner and I heard voices.

"It's suspicious enough that we're walking through the dungeons together," I said as I moved to walk in front of him.

"Hush," he said, falling behind me and making me smile.

We walked through the castle like that—him several paces behind me and me grinning like a fool the entire time. If anyone was really paying close attention, they would have realized that something was going on, but everyone was so wrapped up in their own lives that no one noticed the two of us.

When we turned a corner that was empty, I called out to him.

"Are you checking out my arse?"

"Damn right I am," he said from behind me. We were about to turn the final corner that led to the entrance hall when I yelped as a hand gripped my wrist and pulled me. We were in a hallway that anyone could walk down, but we were concealed between two protruding panels in the wall so that we would hear anyone before they saw us.

He smiled down at me and cupped my neck in his hands before bringing his lips down to mine. I sighed into the kiss and gripped the fabric at his hips. Our tongues rolled against each other, and he was completely in control—moving my head and guiding me where he wanted as he kissed me deeply, making my toes curl and my fingertips tingle and my heart hammer hard in my chest.

After several moments he pulled away, but I kept my eyes closed and my mouth open, savoring the feeling of his kiss. When I opened my eyes, he was grinning at me.

"Good kiss?"

I smiled and leaned forward to nip his lower lip between my teeth. His eyes darkened. "The best."

I sighed and looked down, but he still had his hands on my neck so he forced me to look up at him.

"What's wrong?" he asked, frowning at me.

"I just want everyone to know you're my boyfriend."

He smiled. "I like hearing you say that."

I couldn't help but smile back. He had on his boyish and adorable smile that always made me happy. "What?" I asked. "Boyfriend?"

He nodded and leaned in to brush his lips against mine. "Say it again," he said against my lips.

"Scorpius Malfoy, you are my boyfriend."

He chuckled and pressed his lips against mine hard and quickly. Then he pulled back and he looked serious.

"I know it sucks," he said, rubbing circles with his thumbs below my ears—a gesture that was starting to drive me crazy. "Being in secret." Then he smiled. "But I'm gonna give you best date of your life tonight and make you forget all about that."

"Then hopefully the best fuck of my life after?"

He arched an eyebrow. "Well, considering you've only gotten your fucks from me…"

I slapped his chest and he kissed me quickly again, his boyish smile returning.

"I like you," he said.

I smiled. "I like you, too."

Then with one final peck on the lips, he turned me around and smacked my arse to get me out of the little alcove we had inhabited.

"Hey!"

"Get to the Great Hall," he said. "Your professor commands it."

"My professor _commands_ it?" I said, looking at him over my shoulder with an eye roll. "Really?"

He smirked, and I rolled my eyes again.

"You are annoyingly handsome," I said before turning and walking away.

"You love it!" he called after me. _Yeah_, I thought. _I do love it._ _I love you_. But I just flipped him two fingers over my shoulder and smiled to myself when I heard him laughing behind me.

When I got to the Great Hall, the first thing I noticed was a pack of redheads at the Gryffindor table. I walked over, and Lucy looked up first, and then Hugo. Hugo grinned and moved over, shoving my cousin Lily over as he made room for me to sit down. It was Lily, Hugo, and Albus on one side, and Lysander, Nate, Lucy, and—to my great confusion—Hadley on the other.

"Hey," I said when I sat down next to Albus after he moved over toward Hugo to give me space. I had a secret, and it felt weird sitting here acting like my secret life and Hadley sitting around with my family was normal. "Where are Dom and Louis? We might as well get the whole family here."

Albus rolled his eyes. "You know they never come to breakfast."

"Yeah, too busy dolling themselves up," Lily said from the other side of Hugo.

"Have you heard from mum?" I leaned over Albus and asked Hugo after laughing at Lily and Al. Hugo smiled and threw the letter that he had obviously just gotten over at me. I read it quickly. It was just my mother saying that Dad was leaving the hospital this morning and that he was doing great. I could tell she wrote it quickly—her normally perfect handwriting not as perfect as it always was.

"I think she's still kinda on edge," Hugo said.

"You think?" I said sarcastically.

Then Hugo and Lily started talking about something, while Albus was talking to Nate and Lysander, while Lucy looked off into space. I looked up and realized that Hadley was looking at me.

"Hey," he said, leaning forward on the table.

I smiled. "Hey." It didn't feel weird. I didn't know if it was because of him coming to see me at the hospital or if it was because of me being with Scorpius, but I didn't feel weird about talking to Hadley at all. It almost felt like before—not before the break up but before we were even together—back when he and I were friends.

"Lucy said you weren't there when she woke up. You okay?"

I nodded. "Fine," I said with a smile.

"Did you go to the tower?" he asked, referring to the astronomy tower. It was where I used to always go to think. I figured it would be believable to say I had, so I nodded.

"I'm just still a little overwhelmed."

Hadley smiled. "I can imagine. It's been a crazy month… and a half."

He had no idea. "I know." Then I smiled broadly. "But things are gonna be normal from now on, right?"

He nodded. "I sure fucking hope so." I laughed. "I don't want any more drama."

"You and me both."

"Look at her," Hadley said, making me frown at him. He jerked his head toward Lucy who was staring absently at a spot on the table. "She doesn't even know where she is right now. What I wouldn't give to live in her world."

I nodded. "Definitely."

"Luce," Hadley said, lifting his fist up and knocking gently on her head. "You home?" I threw my head back and laughed and Lucy turned her head in confusion.

Then I felt a weird sensation—like eyes on me, and I looked up to see Scorpius staring at me from the head table. He looked pissed, and my smile and laughter quickly faded. I gave him a look, and he just shook his head slightly and turned back to Professor Loodle, the transfiguration professor.

After we all finished breakfast, Hadley, Al, Lucy, Lysander, and I all headed to potions, while Lily and Hugo went off to Care of Magical Creatures, and Nate went to his free period. We were all talking and laughing on our way there, but I had this niggling in the back of my mind, thinking about the look Scorpius had been giving me at breakfast. What had that been about? When I'd left him, everything had been fucking _beyond_ perfect.

When we got to the classroom, he was sitting at his desk and I immediately walked to the front while Ly, Luce, Al, and Hadley took their seats.

"Hey," I said quietly. The classroom was mostly full so no one would hear us.

"Hey," he said, looking up at me briefly and then looking back down.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

He glanced up at me angrily before looking back down at the papers in front of him.

"Hey—"

"I don't like you talking to him," he said under his breath.

I frowned. "Who?"

"Don't be naïve—that boy—"

"Hadley?"

He looked up at me and glared. "Yes."

I couldn't help it—I smiled. "Why, fritz, are you jealous?"

He looked up at me with narrowed eyes. "I'm serious, Rose."

"Seriously jealous," I said with a smirk.

He gave me a stern, angry look. "I have half a mind to drag you into my office and fuck you over my desk," he growled.

I gasped, and then took a deep breath. I was instantly turned on by his words. I felt desire pool in my stomach and settle between my legs. "You promise?" He narrowed his eyes further. "After class?" I whispered.

"Rose—"

"Baby, you have _nothing_ to worry about," I whispered.

"I saw him."

"What do you—?"

"At the hospital, I saw him with you in the cafeteria." His face was a mask of calmness but I could hear the anger in his voice.

"That was nothing. He—"

"He's still in love with you."

"Who cares?" I literally did not care who Hadley Underwood was in love with. I was in love with Malfoy.

"I do," he growled, his face still calm.

I crossed my arms. "Well, you're being stupid. Who do I let fuck me over his desk? Who did I spend the night with? Who did I run to as soon as I got back to Hogwarts? Whose fucking cock did I suck this morning?"

"Okay," he bit out. "Enough."

"Like I said, fritz," I said before turning away, knowing he knew I was right. "You have nothing to worry about."

* * *

_Next chapter:_

_Rose and Scorpius have their first real date... _


	28. Date Night

_A/N: Hi everyone! Sorry for the slight delay in updating. It's been a crazy couple of weeks. I just want to say thanks to all those who have been reviewing and reading this story. Keep it up! These next few updates should be quick. Enjoy!_

* * *

**Chapter 28**: **Date Night**

"Ms. Weasley, a word?"

I kept my head down, trying to hide my smile as everyone packed up and left the room. Al stepped close to me.

"You two aren't subtle at all, you know," he said with an arched eyebrow.

"Shut up," I said, punching him in the shoulder. He just laughed and then left the room, leaving Malfoy and me alone.

He prowled up slowly to my desk and I stood there with a hand on my hip, waiting, trying still to hide my smile and failing miserably.

"Is there something you need, professor?" I asked sweetly. I was standing in one of the aisles next to my table, and he came up and stood in the opposite aisle down the table from me, facing me. I turned.

He narrowed his eyes at me. "I'm sorry about earlier," he said.

I widened my eyes.

He laughed. "Don't look so surprised. I can admit when I'm wrong." I raised my eyebrows, making him laugh again. "Okay, not always," he conceded. "But that's something you should be aware of."

"What? That you're a dick and you never admit when you're wrong?"

He arched an eyebrow at me. "No. I'm a jealous person." He paused. "Very jealous."

"Okay."

"Seriously, Rose."

I felt confused and caught of guard by this conversation, and I felt a slight tremor of heat go through my chest at the way he was looking at me so intensely. He was being serious—too serious—and I hadn't been prepared for this. But I didn't care because the fact was that I _wanted_ him to be jealous. I wanted him to want me and to want no one else to have me. I wanted him to want me and love me the way I wanted and loved him. I wanted that more than anything.

"I don't mind," I said with a smile.

He just smiled and shook his head. "Baby, you have no idea what you're in for."

"I can handle it."

He took a step toward me, but I stepped back and grabbed my bag.

"Oh, no you don't," I said, holding up my free hand as I threw my bag over my shoulder. "I have to go get ready for our date."

He grinned, and my heart fluttered. "Afraid I'll make you late, red?"

I arched my eyebrow at the pet name and ignored the heat that curled in my stomach. His proximity was overwhelming me. "Maybe."

"Why don't you just stay?" he said with a sexy, sweet smile.

I opened my mouth and closed it a few times. He always left me so dumbstruck with his sexy smile and his low, sensual voice. I just wasn't quite used to the power he had over me, and he was looking at me with such heat in his eyes that it caught me off guard—again—for the moment. I wanted to run to him, to throw myself in his waiting arms, but I just shook my head, trying to shake myself out of it. "No," I said. "I want a proper date. Not you fucking me and then feeding me whatever you can get from the kitchens."

He smirked and nodded, holding up his hands in mock surrender. God, that smirk. Who knew a lift of the corner of the mouth could be so sexy? "Fine," he said. "A proper date it is, then."

I smiled. Then I adjusted my bag on my shoulder and I turned to walk out of the room, feeling his eyes on my arse. I got to the door and paused with my hand on the door handle to look over my shoulder. "See you tonight for our date, fritz," I said seductively. "And then I'm gonna rock your world."

"Red," he said, shaking his head with a smile. "You always do."

* * *

I was standing in my bathroom wrapped in a towel, smiling as I put on a bit of make up for my date with Scorpius. All my dormmates were gone. Lucy was hanging out with Nate, Harriet and Ainsley were in the common room with some seventh year boys giggling and flirting, and Meg was nowhere to be found. I hadn't really seen her or spoken to her since our talk a few days ago, and I didn't know where we stood. Were we friends or something? I didn't know.

My hair was behaving particularly well tonight. I had pinned it to the side so that it fell in loose, voluminous, red waves around one shoulder. I smiled at my reflection after I put the last dab of lipstick on. It was red and I was experimenting with it. I never really wore a lot of makeup but Albus had assured me when he had ordered me to buy this stick that it looked good on me. Other than that, I just had a small mauve dusting on my cheeks and a bit of mascara on. I didn't want to be too over the top, plus, I wanted the real attention to be on the outfit I was planning on wearing.

I walked out of the bathroom and over to my four-poster where my little black dress had been hanging for over a month. It was the dress I was supposed to wear to the concert—the one I thought I would never get the chance to wear again. It was almost ironic that I would be wearing this dress to my first real date with Scorpius when he was the one who had made me think I'd never get the chance to wear it.

I reached forward and felt the material between my already tingling fingertips. It was a very soft jersey cotton fabric that clung nicely to my skin. I smiled thinking about how wild I was going to drive Scorpius with it. I pulled off my towel and reached into my trunk for a push-up black lace strapless bra that I had only worn a handful of other times. It was far too sexy for me and I never had any cause to wear it. But when I was with Scorpius I felt like the sexiest and most sexual woman on the planet. I wanted to constantly touch him and have him touching me. I said and did things that I'd never said or done before because he drove me so mad with lust and desire. At first I hadn't understood it, but now I was embracing it, and it felt good.

I slipped the dress over my head and walked over to the full-length mirror on the back of our bathroom door as I smoothed the dress. I had to admit that I looked… sexy. The dress had thick straps that went down, leading to deep V's in the front and back of the dress so that my cleavage showed generously and my back was almost completely bare, the V ending just at the base of my spine. The dress was also very short—shorter than any other dress that I owned—resting just above my mid thigh. The dress hugged me in all the right places, showing off my curvy hips and my small waist. I had never looked so good.

I smiled at my reflection.

"Damn, girl," I said to myself with a grin.

Then I turned and went back to my trunk to pull out the matching lacey underwear that went with the bra. I was about to step into them when a wicked thought crossed my mind, and with a grin, I wadded them up and put them back into my drunk. After I was all finished, I reached for my cloak and pulled it over my head. I definitely couldn't be seen walking through the common room or through the castle with this dress on. It was _way_ too conspicuous, and Hadley was currently in the common room and I didn't want him asking questions.

Then I grabbed my bag that I had shoved a change of clothes for tomorrow and my toothbrush because—who was I kidding—I was definitely spending the night. I didn't pack anything to sleep in, though. I didn't think I'd need it. I grinned.

With one last sweeping glance around the room, I took a deep breath and headed out the door.

Like I had predicted, Hadley stopped me when I was almost to the exit of the common room. He knew we were over, and really I had forgiven him, so I didn't mind him talking to me as he had been for the last day or so. But I was really in a hurry, and I was already ten minutes late.

"Hey."

"Hey," I said.

"Your hair looks good," he said, reaching forward to touch a strand. I tensed a bit, but it was harmless. He had been a touchy guy even before we'd been a couple.

"Thanks," I said. "Just experimenting."

"Where are you going?" he asked, looking at my bag.

"Slytherin," I said, beginning the story that I had rehearsed. "Me and Al are gonna jam and then have a sleepover. He and I need some quality time."

He chuckled. "It's unbelievable that you just sleep over there and none of them question it."

I shrugged with a smile. "They don't care what I do at all."

"Typical," Hadley said, shaking his head. "Well, have fun," he said, reaching forward and touching my arm. I smiled at him and stood up on my toes to kiss him on the cheek.

"I'll see you later," I said before turning and leaving.

When I got into the hall, I practically ran to the dungeons, taking the stairs two and three at a time in my rush to get there. I had adrenaline pulsing through my veins and I giggled more than once on my way down because there was so much excitement bubbling up inside, desperate to get out.

When I finally got to the entrance of Scorpius's quarters, I stood there for a moment, smoothing my hair and my dress and steadying my breathing. I took a deep breath and then knocked four times—three in succession and the last one with a small break in between as he and I had practiced. He had charmed the door so I could get in again, but I figured it was proper on a date to knock.

When he opened the door, my jaw nearly dropped to the floor. He was wearing khaki linen pants that hung low on his hips so that I could see the V that led down to his groin. He was shirtless, and all I wanted to do was run my hands and mouth along his firm abs and pecs. His hair was styled into a messy look, and he had a seductive grin on his face. After I was able to think again, I put a hand on my hip.

"Don't think you can answer the door like that and we can skip our date."

He smiled and pulled me inside, attaching his mouth to mine. I slid my hands around to the small of his back and then slid them up to feel the muscles just underneath his shoulder blades as our tongues met and I heard the door shut behind me. After a moment, I pulled away.

"You're gonna mess up my lipstick," I said hoarsely, my eyes fluttering as they opened to meet his.

"I'm not trying to skip our date," he said, looking down at me, his gray eyes serious. "I was just running late and I wasn't finished getting ready."

I nodded and gave him a small kiss before pulling away. He turned and grabbed the white button down that was laying on his bed and swung it over his shoulders, buttoning it up with his back to me. I took the opportunity to set my bag in his chair and remove my robe.

He finished buttoning his shirt and turned to face me with a smile. As soon as he saw me, his smile faded and his eyes darkened, making my heart rate speed up. His gaze raked over my body, and spent a little extra time on my cleavage, making me grin and bite my lip. I spun around so he could get the full affect, and when I was facing him again, I gasped. He had stepped forward and he was only about a foot from me.

"Rose…" he practically groaned.

"Do you like my dress?" I asked quietly.

He reached a hand forward and gripped my hip possessively. "I'm glad you came down here in your robe. I don't want any other guys seeing you in that."

I pouted. "Why?"

His eyes jerked up to mine, and his hand slid down to my bare thigh and then up so it was brushing against my arse under my dress. "Because you look so bloody sexy." His voice was gravelly and hard, and it sent shivers through me.

"So you like it?"

"Of course I like it," he said, his eyes sliding down again. Then his hand slid up a bit further and his eyes shot up to mine when he realized I wasn't wearing any underwear. "I thought you wanted us to have a proper date," He growled, reaching around with his other hand so that he could grip my bare arse and yank me against him. I gasped.

"I do," I said, my voice breathy and shaky.

"How am I supposed to concentrate on giving you a proper date when you come here like this?"

I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck with a smile. "I guess you'll just have to try really hard."

One of his hands slid between my legs from behind me, and unconsciously, I widened my stance a bit and he slipped one finger inside me. I moaned and buried my face in his chest.

"Scorpius…" I whimpered. "Our date…"

"It can wait," he said, as he slowly began to pump his finger inside me.

I sighed and moved my hips toward him even as my voice said, "No…"

"Red," he groaned into my ear as he slipped another finger inside and I bared down onto it, eliciting another groan from him. "Just let me make you come one time."

"Scorpius," I tried to protest, but it came out as more of a plea for more.

"Just one time, and then I can get through our date without going crazy."

As much as I wanted us to have a normal, proper date, my body was practically trembling with need for him. I wanted him to make me come as much he wanted to make me. I knew I wouldn't be able to concentrate either now that he had started. I wouldn't be able to sit and eat with him and carry on a normal conversation when all I could think about was him fucking me.

So I said, "Okay." And he growled in satisfaction and pushed me over to his bed. I fell onto my back, and before I knew what was happening, he had pushed my dress up and his head was between my legs. After one swipe of his tongue on my clit, I moaned loudly and arched off the bed as I sank my hands into his hair, pushing him on. A string of curses fell from my lips and I spread my legs open further, desperate for more. I pressed my head back into the mattress as he sucked on my sensitive bundle of nerves and I moaned.

My moans wouldn't stop, and my body was on fire, and then he darted his tongue inside me and I almost came, jerking violently and then sinking back into the mattress. Then he moved his mouth back to give me the suction I so desperate wanted, and then he slipped two fingers inside me and began pumping quickly. I moaned his name several times, and then my whole body tensed and I was coming hard, shivering and twitching violently as he lapped up my juices, keeping my orgasm flowing.

With one final lick, he brought his face back up and smiled at me before leaning up and pulling my dress down. I saw that he was hard in his pants, and when I reached forward, he just shook his head.

"I can wait."

"No—"

"Come on," he said, standing in front of me and reaching forward to take my hand and pull me off the bed. I was still panting and slightly dazed so I didn't protest further.

When he successfully pulled me into his sitting area, I gasped and put my free hand to my mouth. He normally had a couch and a table in front of his fireplace, but he had transformed the room so that there was a table in the middle with two chairs. There was a white tablecloth covering the table with rose petals scattered on it and one long candle in the middle of two covered plates. The fireplace was going, but by far the best part of the room was the floating candles all around. They were everywhere, giving the room a warm, romantic glow, and making my heart flutter.

I looked up at him and he was looking down at me and smiling.

_I love you_. I wanted to say it to him then while he looked at me and I looked at him and we stood in this room that he had put so much thought into because he wanted to make our first date special. I loved him. There was no doubt in my mind anymore.

"You like—"

I cut Scorpius off when I reached up and grabbed the back of his neck to pull him into a kiss. When we finally broke apart, we were both panting, and his eyes were dark again.

"I love it." _I love you_. He looked down at me for a long, hard moment, and he glanced down at my hand as I ran the pad of my thumb across my fingertips. He looked absolutely gorgeous, and I didn't want to take my eyes off him. His blonde hair was tousled even more from me running my hands through it. His gray eyes were like silver, molten lava, staring at me with heated intensity. His clothes were hanging off him in just the right way. I desperately wanted to reach out and touch him—to run my hands down the hard planes of his firm stomach—to forgo all thoughts of our date and just let him make me scream his name over and over and over until neither of us could take it any more.

"Come on," he said, pulling me forward and breaking me from my thoughts. "Before I take you back into my bedroom." I smiled as he pulled me forward and then pulled out a chair for me. Sometimes it was like he could read my thoughts.

"Such a gentleman," I said with a smile as I sat down. He bent forward and kissed my neck and I sighed. How did I get so lucky? Then he walked around the table and sat across from me. With a smile at me, he reached for his wand that was sitting on the table and flicked it, making the covers on our plates disappear. I didn't know what was in front of me but it looked delicious. It looked like some sort of meat pie with chunks of meat, vegetables, and noodles inside of a crust.

"Looks good," I said before grabbing up my fork.

"Eat up," he said after taking a bite. "You'll need your strength."

I swallowed and arched an eyebrow at him. "What does that mean?"

Scorpius smirked. "You know what it means."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head before I started to eat again.

"Albus is right about the way you eat," Scorpius murmured into his plate.

I looked up and narrowed my eyes at him. At almost every meal, Albus was going on and on about the way I ate like an animal. My mother always said the same thing. She said I got it from dad. "Have you been eavesdropping?"

"You're not the only one who uses Weasley products."

I gave him a look as I thought about the stupid fucking telescope—the Weasley product that started this all.

"First of all—"

Scorpius held up a hand to silence me, looking suddenly serious. "I don't want to argue about the telescope."

I huffed and sat back, putting my fork down and crossing my arms. I didn't know why, but I was suddenly irrationally upset. It was like a switch flipped as soon as he even alluded to the subject of the telescope. I had thought I was over that whole situation, but clearly my reaction at that moment showed that I wasn't at all. "Well, I just won't eat if you're so disgusted."

He smirked at me, but he was unaffected by my minor tantrum. "All your Weasley temper does is turn me on, red."

I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from smiling. "Whatever."

And just like that, my anger was forgotten. How had he done that? How did he make me go from pissed at him to smiling at him in hardly the span of a minute? Surely that type of reaction to a person wasn't normal? I shivered. There was still a pinch of irritation under the surface, but the more he grinned at me, the more it faded away.

"Eat," he said. "I'm not kidding about you needing your strength."

"What are you planning on doing to me?" I asked, my voice lowering.

He looked up at me with lustful eyes. "I'm going to make you come all night. I'm going to make you come until you cry—until you beg me to stop."

I gasped. "Stop," I said quietly, my mouth watering. I swallowed.

"What's wrong?" he said, smirking again.

I slapped the table. My adrenaline and my heated blood and my arousal and my irritation and anger at him built up inside me. I was on edge and I wanted to lash out somehow. Any reprieve he'd gotten from my temper was over. He couldn't keep winding me up like this without expecting me to react somehow. "I want us to have a real date," I snapped. "I'm tired of just having sex all the time."

"Rose," he said, looking suddenly concerned, all his playfulness gone. "What's wrong?"

_I love you. That's what's wrong. I love you and I'm terrified and I just want you to love me back_.

Whoa.

That thought had come on suddenly, as if it had been hidden in my mind all night, waiting to come to the surface. Now my behavior so far this evening made complete sense. Dammit.

"Nothing," I said, staring at my plate. I had definitely overreacted. But it was normal, right? I had just realized that I'm in love with a guy I'd known for about half a second, and I was freaking out. And he had me all hot and bothered talking about making me come all night. Jesus. How was I supposed to react?

"Rose."

I sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Is it about the telescope?"

I shrugged. _Not hardly_.

"I shouldn't have brought it up," he said quietly.

"I didn't put it in your desk." I didn't want to talk about the telescope, but in a way, I was grateful for the conversation topic. It effectively distracted me from the fact that I was in love with Scorpius.

"Okay."

I looked up at him and he was staring at me with an odd expression, making me gasp.

"You don't believe me."

"Rose—"

"If you don't trust me, how can we do this?" _How can I be in love with you if you don't trust me?_

"I trust you, Rose. That's not—"

"I told McGonagall about that fucking letter," I said, my anger rising up, higher, higher. Yes, anger was good. Anger was the perfect distractor. "I risked getting expelled, and you think I wouldn't risk just getting a fucking detention over a telescope? You think I'd admit to that letter but not the telescope? Even now. Even after everything? It's a month later. And me and you—wouldn't I have just admitted it by now?"

He looked at me, but he didn't say anything. I looked back at my plate. It smelled good and I really was starving, but I had no appetite. It amazed me that he still didn't trust me—after _everything_. But it terrified me because if he didn't trust me, that obviously meant he didn't feel for me what I felt for him. Not even close.

"You know who did it."

"What?" I looked up at him, and I immediately regretted it. It was hard to have a serious conversation with him when he was so beautiful. I could see the tension in his strong shoulders, and I wanted nothing more than to feel them under my palms. I clenched my fists to try and stymie my reactions to my hot boyfriend.

"I can tell. You know who put it there."

"That's not even the point."

"Rose, who was it?" He looked angry—his already darkened gray eyes darkening further—and his anger made me angry.

"How—Scorpius, you _know_ that's not the point. You know that doesn't matter. How can that possibly matter? What are you gonna do—give him detention?"

"Him?"

"Oh shut up!" I said, slapping the table again. Then I felt the backs of my eyes burning, and my stomach felt nauseous. I stood up. "You're ruining this," I said quietly, looking around frantically. "This is… We shouldn't have even bothered."

"Hey," Scorpius said firmly. I looked at him. He nodded toward the seat I had just abandoned. "Sit."

I couldn't look at him anymore, so I looked at the floor. "I'm gonna go."

"Sit," he said firmly. I felt the tears—they were right there, about to fall. "Please."

I sat back down and put my face in my hands. The tears didn't come though, so I just sat there, wondering how everything had gone so wrong.

Then I felt his arms around me, and I looked up and he was squatting next to my chair. I gasped when I saw that his eyes were glistening.

It was almost like the first time—like that night in the potions classroom when I had collapsed and he had scooped me up and held me while I cried in his arms. It was like that because all my fear and sadness were right on the surface. But it was so different because this time I was in love with him.

"I'm really sorry," he said, swallowing. All his firmness and anger was gone. He looked sad and vulnerable, and my heart clenched painfully. "I'm fucking this up."

I nodded and smiled, unable to bear it any longer and just wanting it to be better. "You are."

He smiled weakly. "I believe you, Rose. I trust you, of course I do."

Then I just had to say it. He was looking at me, and his eyes were searching mine and we were here and I had to say it before I lost my nerve. "It scares me how much I want you and how much I care about you." The words tumbled out before I could stop them.

His eyes widened slightly, and his words came out in a whisper. "Red, you have no idea."

I looked at him and a single tear fell out of my eye. He reached up and wiped it away and when he went to move his hand, I grabbed it and held it there.

"I'm sorry," he said again. "Don't cry."

I smiled as another tear slipped out. "This isn't the perfect first date that I envisioned."

He laughed. "Me neither," he said as he wiped the tear away. Then his eyes searched mine, and the feeling in my chest was painful. "You're so beautiful."

"Get back over there," I said, smiling and jerking my head toward his seat. I couldn't stand him so close and looking at me like that anymore. I was going to say something he wasn't ready to hear and I wasn't really ready to say if he stayed at my side a moment longer. He smiled and kissed me lightly before he stood up and walked back over to his seat. I couldn't help but check him out as he walked. He just had such a nice arse.

"I saw that," he said as he sat.

I shrugged, wiping the last of my unshed tears away. I didn't know if it was because I decided not to be upset anymore or because he had held me, which always made me feel better, but I did. I felt better. The change was drastic and almost overwhelming. I took a deep breath and smiled. "I won't apologize. You're my boyfriend now. I get to objectify you." I still felt raw and vulnerable and overwhelmed, but I just wanted things to be good and normal. I sighed and lifted my fork again so I could eat.

When I looked up again, he was watching me closely. He opened his mouth and I knew he was just going to apologize again, so I headed him off. "I can't believe you used extendable ears to listen to me and Albus," I said with my mouth full. Then I swallowed. "That's a little crazy, fritz."

He laughed and shook his head. "Why do you call me that?"

I bit my lower lip before I laughed. "I was wondering when you would ask me that."

He raised his eyebrows. "Well?"

"Do you ever read muggle literature?"

Scorpius shrugged. "Yeah, sometimes."

"American muggle literature?"

"A bit. I've read the greats."

"What about Louisa May Alcott?"

Scorpius threw his head back and laughed. "Please tell me you aren't calling me that because of _Little Women_."

I laughed and nodded.

"Do I really remind you of Professor Baer?"

I shrugged. "Not really. But he was her older, wiser professor, and he… He taught her a lot."

He shook his head. "Sometimes you amaze me," he said.

"Back at you, fritz."

* * *

"Scorpius."

I moaned, my hands fisting in his satin sheets. I was exhausted. We had been at it all night, and Scorpius had finally let me sleep only to wake me up a few hours later with his head in between my legs.

I had already come twice like this, and he was literally driving me crazy with his mouth. I couldn't think. I could hardly speak. I could vaguely register the words he was murmuring to me, but I couldn't be bothered to decipher them. Not when I was blind and deaf with pleasure. It felt so good that it almost hurt—my body was strung out, my muscles were weak, but the pleasure just kept coming.

Finally he pulled his mouth away and in the time it took me to register that he had left me on the brink of orgasm, he was plunging his long, thick length inside me.

I cried out and moved to wrap my arms around his neck, but he reached up and grabbed them, pinning them next to me, making me squirm. I wanted to hold him close, wrap my arms around his neck, bury my hands in his hair—but I was trapped, not only by his hands, but also by the lust and desire coursing through me. I couldn't concentrate on trying to free my hands when my skin was on fire and covered in a sheen of sweat, and the feel of him inside me felt so good that I didn't care what he was doing to me. I just knew I didn't want it to stop.

I began to move my hips to meet him, feeling the orgasm build up inside and wanting it more than anything. My eyes were shut and my mouth was hanging open as occasional moans slipped from my throat.

But then he slowed the movement of his hips and growled. "Look at me."

My eyes flew open and when I did, I sucked in a deep breath and then moaned almost instantly when he pushed slowly into me—all the way in, nearly pushing past my limits—and his eyes were on me so intensely and heatedly that it almost frightened me.

"You feel so good," he said, pushing in slowly and then pulling out almost all the way before plunging slowly back in. It was driving me mad. I just needed it a little faster and I would be there. Just a twist of his hips or _something_ and I would get the relief I wanted so desperately.

"Scorpius."

"What do you want?"

I was trying to move my hips in a way that would relieve the pressure, but he was going too slow for it to make a difference.

"You."

"Me what?" He pulled almost all the way out and stayed there, and I felt tears sting my eyes. It was unbearable. And then he plunged in and I arched off the bed, but the relief didn't come.

"Please…" I breathed. "Make me come."

He smiled and picked up his pace a bit, and it was torture because I could feel every hot inch—every ridge, every bit of him—sliding in and out of me. And it was so wet. We'd been at it for so long and I was so sensitive, and all I wanted was to feel him release himself inside me.

"Please," I begged again, a tear slipping out of the corner of my eye. It was too much. The pressure was coiled so tightly inside of me, and all I wanted was to have some kind of relief.

Then he pulled me up and sat back on his heels and I was straddling him and my arms flew around his neck and the sudden change of position had him brushing up against me at just the right spot, and then I was coming violently—trembling and quaking and my whole body going rigid as I called out his name and moaned, my sounds filling the room. He spilled himself inside me, and I wrapped my arms around him tighter as I continued to twitch in his arms as he held me close, his hand making soothing circles on my lower back.

"I hate you," I murmured into his neck.

He chuckled, and I could feel his chest rumbling against me. "No you don't."

"You're going to kill me," I said.

He hummed. "I hope not. What would I do without this?" He shifted his hips a bit, and I twitched. He then reached up to fist a hand in my hair and pull me back so I could look at him.

"How is it this good?" he whispered, his mouth inches from mine. I could feel his hot breath.

"Does it always feel like this?" I asked, leaning forward a bit so I could brush my lips against his.

"Does what always feel like what?"

I shook my head slightly. "I don't know."

He chuckled again. "I don't know either."

My eyes fluttered and he released me so I could lay my head on his shoulder again. "I have to sleep." My eyes were heavy and my brain was starting to leave. I knew I didn't have much more time. I was fighting to stay awake like a child whose bedtime had long passed, but I didn't want this moment to end. I never wanted any of our moments like this to end.

"Rose…" he whispered into my ear. "I have to tell you something."

"Hmm?"

He sighed. "In the morning, red." He gripped my shoulders and pulled me off of him. I moaned when he slid out heavily. I felt our combined liquids shifting inside me, and it felt so intimate and erotic and it made me feel so close to him that when he reached for his wand to clean us up, I gripped his wrist.

"No," I said.

He frowned slightly and set his wand down. He was sitting on his knees in front of me and I was on my back with my legs on either side of him.

"I want to feel it—you—inside me all night. I want to wake up remembering this night."

He groaned. "Rose."

Then my eyes couldn't fight anymore and they drifted shut. I felt the bed shift, and then I felt his warm body curling around me and shifting me to pull my back to his front as he lifted his blanket over us.

_I love you, Scorpius_, I thought. Then I let sleep take me.

* * *

_Next chapter:_

_A second chapter from Scorpius's point of view._


	29. Scorpius II

**Chapter 29**: **Scorpius II**

I jolted when I heard the sound of my name being called. I sat up on my elbows, and looked down as Rose shifted from where she was resting on my chest, but she looked otherwise undisturbed. I shook my head with a smile. She was the heaviest sleeper of any person I had ever known in my life. I could swear that if I screamed in that moment she wouldn't even flinch.

I sat up a bit more and stretched, yawning and feeling my limbs scream in protest. I looked down at Rose, who had slid down my chest to my stomach as I had sat up in bed. Her cheek was resting against my stomach and she was still deep in sleep. I smiled and reached down to brush a piece of her hair behind her ear, while my heart started to race like it did every time I touched her. I could watch her like this all day—slumbering peacefully on me, her beautiful face calm and undisturbed with sleep. I loved looking at her. It had started to become one of my favorite pastimes.

Rose was breathing softly. I could feel the light puffs on my skin as I ran my hand along her milky cheek. Unconsciously, she leaned into my touch. And that movement—the movement that said that even in her sleep she couldn't resist my touch—nearly drove me mad. I wanted to wake her and start again on what we'd been doing just a few hours ago, but I was conflicted because I also just wanted to watch her sleep. She was naked, and I could feel her breasts against my hip. I—

My heart leapt and my thoughts of Rose were interrupted when I heard my name again and I realized it was coming from my sitting room. Frowning and trying carefully not to disturb Rose, I shifted and slid out of bed as she curled up into a tight ball and continued to sleep. I looked at the small, antique clock on my desk and saw that it was just a bit past six in the morning. Rose and I had just finally gone to sleep a few hours ago. I could feel my muscles straining from overexertion as I stretched again and looked around for my boxers which were thrown somewhere on the ground. I was going to have to start doing more than just flying if I wanted to stay in shape for all the extracurriculars Rose and I were up to constantly. I grinned at the thought.

Then I heard my name again, and I yanked my boxers on before rushing into my sitting room, still half incoherent from sleep and thoughts of my girl.

When I got into the room, I looked around and immediately noticed that my fireplace was lit up with green flames and there was a head floating inside it.

"Dad?"

"Hi, son."

"It's early," I said with a yawn, squatting down in front of the fire.

He frowned. "You've always been an early riser. I thought you'd be awake."

I shrugged. "Long night." I tried not to smile at the thought. My father could always pick up on my little subtle expressions.

My father smirked. "Those idiotic first years have you grading the worst essays you've ever seen?"

I laughed. "They aren't so idiotic."

"You're a good teacher if you think that."

I just smiled. "What's up?"

"I spoke with my guy," he said.

I straightened a bit. "And?"

"He was completely on board. Said he loved it the first time and had been planning on asking for more anyway."

I exhaled. "Awesome. Thanks, dad."

He nodded. "Do you want to tell me why you were so hell-bent on this?"

I shrugged. "I made a mistake that I wanted to rectify."

He studied me for a moment with the eyes that looked so much like my own. He seemed to be considering something, but then he apparently thought better of it, just shaking his head slightly. "Okay. You look exhausted, Scorpius. You should probably get back to bed."

"Yeah," I said, yawning again. I was completely knackered. I'd worn myself out last night, but I couldn't help it. Rose was just so fucking irresistible. When I'd woken up in the middle of the night and seen her there looking sexy and beautiful, I just couldn't stop myself from waking her up and taking her again and again. How could I? She baffled and confused me and turned me on so much that it was almost unbearable. I didn't understand it.

"How's mum?" I asked, not wanting to be rude to my father and rushing him away when he had just done me a huge favor. Plus, I did miss my parents.

Draco Malfoy rolled his eyes. "She's up to something, but she won't tell me."

I chuckled. "It's your anniversary next week, isn't it?"

He nodded. "She always has to be ridiculous with it." He sounded agitated, but I knew better. I knew he loved that my mother cared so much about him and their relationship. He always pretended to be indifferent, but I could see it in his eyes. Like he could read me, my father was essentially an open book to my eyes. I could almost always tell what he was thinking. And when my mum would buy him a small gift just to say she loved him or when she would kiss him on the forehead every morning when she came down to breakfast (always so much later than he had come down because she spent so much time getting herself ready, something he also pretended to hate but I knew he secretly thought it was charming), I could always see in his eyes that he adored her. He wasn't good at saying it, but I could always remember one time when my father had let a rare glimpse of his inner thoughts out. I was twelve.

"_Do you love mum?" I asked. I was home for Christmas break and a girl at Hogwarts had just told me that she was madly in love with me. I didn't even know what it meant. _

"_Of course I do," my father said, watching her as she floated around the kitchen, preparing breakfast for the two of us. Then he got quiet as he watched her. "Your mother saved my life." _

I remembered that even as a twelve-year-old, I knew that what my father was saying to me was significant. I had never, ever forgotten that. And I never would.

I smiled, thinking about how much my mom adored my father. "Aww, she loves you."

Just then, I heard a noise from the other room, and I jerked my head over before I could stop myself.

"What was that?" my father asked.

I shook my head quickly. "Nothing. Look, I should go." I heard more noise from the other room, and I got suddenly nervous. I was terrified of what would happen if Rose walked in here and my father saw her. "Can I floo you and mum later?"

My father was frowning and looking at me with suspicion in his eyes, but he just said, "Of course. I love you, son."

"Love you, too, dad," I said before I closed the floo connection with a flick of my wand and made sure to lock it so he couldn't come back unannounced. Just when I had stood up again and thrown my wand back on the coffee table, Rose walked into the room, and my heart stopped.

She was wrapped in my black sheet—one hand fisting the sheet around her, and the other hanging at her side—her long, auburn hair cascading down around her milky shoulders that were covered in a smattering of freckles. The black of the sheets made the freckles on her shoulders stand out, and I couldn't help but look at them and think about how beautiful she was. Her eyes were heavy from sleep, but that didn't stop me from being awed by her incredibly blue eyes.

"Hi," she said, her voice slightly hoarse from sleep.

I smiled and walked up to her, gripping her shoulders in my hands and leaning in to kiss her. She immediately tilted her head back, and I thrilled in her response—she always just practically gave herself to me. She did it when we kissed, when we made love, and basically any time I came near her.

When I pulled away, I looked down at the hand by her side when I saw her rub her thumb across the tips of her fingers. I smiled. I didn't understand it, but I had noticed a few weeks ago that she always seemed to do that after I kissed her or when we were like this. I kept meaning to ask her about it, but I didn't want to make her self-conscious about it because I didn't want her to stop. For some reason, I was enamored by it.

Rose opened her eyes slowly, and I smiled at the way she looked—like she always did—all disheveled and apparently caught off guard by my kiss.

After she took a deep breath and seemed to gather herself, she spoke. "I heard voices."

"Oh," I said. "Yeah, my father flooed."

She raised her eyebrows.

I laughed. "What?"

"A lot of things."

I smirked. "Like?"

"Like it's early on a Saturday. Does your father always floo you this early?"

"Sometimes," I said. "I'm a morning person. I'm usually up at this time."

She stared at me for a moment and then she burst out laughing, dropping her head into my chest as she shook with laughter. I tilted her chin up and looked at her with an arched eyebrow, grinning. "What?"

She shook her head. "I'm just…" she laughed. "I'm just not a morning person," she said. "Like… at all."

I arched an eyebrow. "I would have never known that," I said. "You always seem… ready to go in the morning."

She gaped and leaned back to punch me in the shoulder, making me laugh. "Dick," she said.

"Exactly."

She rolled her eyes, and I laughed even harder as she pulled away from me and walked over to my bed. God, just seeing her sitting there with her legs crossed and her hair all mussed made me want her. I wanted her so badly and so constantly that sometimes it hurt. I had never felt that feeling in my life, but I felt it so acutely when I was with her—and when I was without her.

I walked over and moved to sit on my bed across from her, one leg bent in front of me and the other hanging off the edge of the bed. I caught her looking at my bare chest, and I couldn't help but swell with pride and desire. She always wanted me as badly as I wanted her. She was still wrapped in my sheet and I desperately wanted to pull it off her—I wanted to see what was underneath—I always wanted to see.

Rose was looking at me with reverence and lust and joy in her eyes. I thought I saw something else, but I wasn't sure.

The other night after she had come back from the hospital and we had spent the whole night together, she had been drifting off to sleep when I heard something that both terrified and excited me.

She had been vulnerable, and I knew that. We'd been making love all night—leaving both of us spent and raw—and she had just come back from the hospital after thinking she was going to lose her father. She and I hadn't talked in days because I had been too stubborn and scared to talk to her about what was going on. I knew that she was emotional, and so was I. I had been terrified. My feelings for her had been growing too fast and too strong, and they were becoming unbearable, all-consuming. I wanted to be around her constantly, and when I wasn't, I missed her. Every time I saw her I was so unbelievably turned on and desperate for her that it became a problem, especially while we were in class. I wanted her like I had never wanted anything, and I was scared. So it seemed that when I thought McGonagall was onto us, it was the perfect excuse to end things before they got too intense.

But then her father had gone into the hospital, and McGonagall told me and the other professors that he wouldn't make it—she told us so that we could all give support to Rose and Hugo in the coming months. All I wanted to do was hold her and be there for her, and I knew then that I was already in too deep. I couldn't be without her, and it was time that I just admitted it to myself more than anything. I'd seen that fool Underwood at the hospital, and the jealousy that had reared up like a lion inside me—trying to claw at my chest and get out—had nearly overwhelmed me.

And then she was there. She was outside my door looking vulnerable and beautiful, and I couldn't say no. I wanted her too much, and I knew she wanted me.

I knew we were both raw, and I knew she was exhausted, but I also knew what I heard.

"_I love you."_

I'd said "sweet dreams," and as she was drifting she had curled closer to me and murmured that she loved me. I didn't even know if she knew she'd said it at the time or if she had remembered it later. I doubted that she had or she certainly would have said something because I hadn't said it back. It scared me because we'd only known each other for about a month and a half, and we'd only been seeing each other for a few weeks, but I knew what I felt, and I knew that I loved her, too. If it wasn't love, I didn't know what it was. When I looked at her, I saw perfection—her milky, perfect skin with occasional freckles, her big blue eyes, her long, wavy auburn hair that I loved to bury my hands in, her body that had curves in all the right places, her legs for days, her lips. I loved the feeling of her breasts in my hands and in my mouth. I loved the feeling of being inside her, and when I wasn't inside her it felt like something was missing—like I was so thirsty and nothing ever quenched the thirst except for our connection.

It wasn't just what I saw on the outside, though. She was funny. She would laugh and her smile would light up the room. She would make me laugh even when I didn't want to. She was strong. If anything that I'd seen with her and Underwood and the situation with her father had showed me anything, it was that Rose was strong. She didn't want to be taken advantage of and she didn't want to let her guard down. But she loved fiercely. She loved her cousin and her parents and her brother and certainly her uncle—along with the rest of her family. She was talented and passionate and smart, and I admired her and revered her, and I'd never known anyone like her, and it was obvious.

I was in love with her.

But I didn't know if she was _truly_ in love with me. She hadn't said it _to_ me, and she'd been so vulnerable at the time. So I decided I would wait. I decided I would wait until we had been together longer and until we knew each other better—even though I already felt I knew her better than I knew almost anyone—and until the dust had settled a bit more. I wanted Underwood out of her life completely, but I didn't know how to tell her. He was clearly smitten with her and who knew what he would do if she said no—obviously he didn't respect that. But I'd seen her with him and her friends and family the other day, and I knew he was a part of her life. But I wanted him out. Now.

"What are you thinking about?"

I jolted a bit and looked at her. "You."

I glanced down when I saw her rubbing her thumb across the tips of her fingers again. She always did that, and I didn't know why. Maybe it was just some kind of nervous habit she had picked up. I didn't even know if she was aware that she was doing it, but she did it often. It made me smile.

"What about me?" Her chinks pinked a bit, and I smiled.

"How sexy you are. How incredible you are in general."

Rose arched an eyebrow. "Is that so?"

I nodded. "Tell me you're staying in bed with me all day."

She smiled. "You have no idea how badly I want to."

"So you are?"

She rolled her eyes and I smirked even though I felt a pang of sadness at the thought that she was going to have to leave our bubble. "I have to check on my brother," I said. "And I'm going to have lunch with my parents in Hogsmeade. McGonagall's letting me and Hugo go since we weren't there yesterday when Ron got to leave the hospital."

"Fine," I said, trying not to smile about the fact that she always called her parents by their first names. "I'll allow that." She rolled her eyes again. "What about after?"

"I've gotta see Al," she said, shaking her head. "I'm sure he's worried. And we're going to play a little tonight. It's been a while."

I knew it was irrational for me not to want her to go. She had only become my girlfriend yesterday morning, and I knew she needed to see her family. It wasn't normal for us to be around each other all day, every day.

"When can I see you?" I asked.

She scrunched up her nose in a ridiculously adorable way. "Probably not until tomorrow, fritz. Practice will get done late. Hugo wants to have a Quidditch practice tomorrow morning, too."

I sighed. _It's fine. You don't have to see her constantly. Chill._ "All right, I guess I can live without you for that long."

Rose smiled and pushed herself up on her knees so she could crawl across the bed. She stopped on all fours with her hands on either side of me and kissed me gently. "It won't be too long, boyfriend," she said when she pulled back a bit, her lips brushing mine. It was then that I noticed that the sheet had slipped off her, leaving her breasts and torso exposed. I groaned.

"Tell me you've got some time for me right now," I said.

She nodded and smiled, moving so she could shrug out of the sheet the rest of the way and straddle me. "I've got about an hour, fritz," she said. "You better make it count."

I'd like to think that I did.

* * *

_Next chapter:_

_"I shouldn't be so mad about not being able to spend a night with you. I should be able to live without you." _


	30. Ill With Want

_A/N: Thank you so so so much to everyone who keeps reviewing and reading this story. Your insight is so important to me, so PLEASE keep it coming. This story isn't nearly over, so keep letting me know what you think so I can keep my motivation up! xoxo  
_

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**Chapter 30**: **Ill With Want**

"Hey."

Hugo looked up at me from where he was sitting in the library.

"Lily told me you were here," I said as I sat down across from him. "Are you okay?"

"What do you mean?" he said without looking up at what he was doing. From what I could tell, he was writing something, but I couldn't tell what it was from my angle.

"I mean, I've probably only seen you in the library twice since you've been at Hogwarts."

His mouth twitched a bit, but a full smile didn't come. "I'm working on Quidditch plays. The common room was too loud."

"Hugo."

Hugo finally looked up at me. He looked wary and tired. The gleaming light that was always in his laughing eyes had dimmed to almost nonexistence.

"What's wrong?"

He shrugged.

I wasn't sure, but I thought I might know what was wrong. I felt the feelings myself over the last few days. The feeling that things were too good to be true—that any minute the other shoe was going to drop. I felt a strange edginess that was only dulled by Scorpius's presence. "Dad's okay," I tried. When I saw Hugo's features tighten a bit, I knew I had hit the nail on the head. We'd gone through something fucking difficult. It was hard to just act like everything was okay even when it seemed to be. "He's okay, Hugo. You know that, right?"

He looked at me with slightly wild eyes. "That was scary, wasn't it?"

I nodded. "It was awful."

"I mean, they were _sure_ he wouldn't make it. And now he's just, what, fine?"

"Hugo—"

"Nothing's ever that easy and simple in this family."

"The healers said they found—"

"No trace of the curse, I know, but I still… I don't know."

"Hugo." I reached out and touched his hand. He was so caught off guard by the rare show of affection from me that he jumped. "Ron is _fine_. It's normal for you to be—nervous or whatever—after just going through something like that a few days ago. It was intense and scary, but you can't let it control you. You can't just be afraid that he's gonna drop dead any minute."

He sighed and nodded. I could tell he knew I was right but that he was still scared to admit it. I was just as scared, but it was different for me because I had Scorpius to distract me. I knew that was exactly what Hugo was down here doing—writing plays and trying to distract himself from his thoughts. I knew he was doing that because before Scorpius, that had been my exact M.O. I couldn't even begin to count all the hours that I sat in the library alone trying to get out of my own head and stop thinking about my entire life.

"Where have you been anyway? I haven't seen you in the common room and Meg said you haven't been in the dorm."

"I've been with Albus," I said without hesitation. He was my go-to excuse nowadays.

"You're lying," he shot back. "Albus has been hanging out in Gryffindor with Fergie." He arched an eyebrow. "Which you would know if you'd been around."

I opened my mouth to respond but he cut me off before I could mumble out some other half-assed excuse.

"I just think you're more stressed out about dad than you're letting on."

I sighed, grateful that he had formulated a reason in his own mind about my absence. He must have thought I was off sulking alone. What else would I be doing? Of course he would never think that I was off in our professor's quarters, fucking him senseless.

"I know it's a tough situation—wait, why are you talking to _Meg_ about me? Is she your spy or something?" I saw the tips of his ears turn pink—a telltale sign that something was up in the Weasley family—and I narrowed my eyes at him. "Hugo," I said in a warning tone.

"She… we…"

"Spit it out."

"I think we're kind of seeing each other. Or something."

"What!" I screeched. I couldn't have been more shocked if he'd said he was going to drop out of Hogwarts and join the circus.

Hugo's face reddened. "Well—"

"For how long?"

He cleared his throat. "A few weeks."

"_Weeks_! Hugo!" That was all I could say. I was so utterly speechless. Now, that conversation her and I had had last week made more sense. She didn't want to spend her time hating me if she had a thing for my brother. She felt better about moving on from Hadley because she had another guy—and a much more amazing one—to occupy her time. "How did this happen?"

"I don't know. I just… I don't know, I saw her one day in the common room late after everyone had gone to bed. And she just looked so sad. So I asked her what was wrong, and we talked all night. Look, I know you don't like her—"

"Hold it right there," I said, holding up a hand. "Meg and I have had shit in the past, but… we've come to an understanding. I—well, I think it might have something to do with you."

"Maybe," he said, looking a bit sheepish. "And probably also the fact that Hadley is such a dick and he treated both of you like shit."

I chuckled a bit, but I had to get back to the topic at hand. "So is she your girlfriend?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. That's another reason why I'm down here. I just have so much I need to think about."

"Like what? Meg is gorgeous. She's…" I didn't know what else to say. She _was_ gorgeous, and generally a nice girl, but I still did have bitter feelings toward her despite the talk we'd had. I didn't know what to think. It was all so completely unexpected. I didn't even know Hugo and Meg even knew each other, let alone that they knew each other well enough to _date_. This was so confusing.

"She has a reputation."

Okay, that made me angry. I knew Meg had a reputation and I knew exactly what that reputation was, but if he liked her, he shouldn't have been hung up on something like that. "Who cares?" I said angrily. I didn't know why I was defending Meg, but I felt like I had to. "If you like her—"

"That's not…" he sighed. "We've been seeing each other since that night I guess. We've stayed up late talking almost every night since. We've snogged. A lot. And I took her on a date."

"So what's the problem?"

"When I even come close to bringing up the girlfriend/boyfriend topic, she freaks."

I sighed. "She's scared. Hadley burned her, Hugo—wait. That's why you've been so angry with him."

"No, I'm angry with him because he tried to rape my sister," Hugo hissed.

"Hugo!" I snapped back.

"Sorry," he shot back, although he didn't sound or look sorry at all. "But yeah, I guess Meg is another reason why I hate him."

"Well, you just have to see it from her perspective. I understand her completely. She dated Hadley for a year and then he cheated on her and destroyed her. Hello." I pointed to myself. "I turned into a royal bitch for an entire year after Hadley did that to me. You have to give her some time."

He sighed and looked at his hands, and I could tell he wanted to say something else. I liked this. I liked sitting and talking with my brother. Normally it was him comforting me and telling me everything was going to be okay, and it was nice to be the one who was needed for once, rather than the one who was needing.

"It's not just that," he said finally, quietly.

"What is it?"

He sighed again. "She won't—" he cut himself off and started again. "We've been dating for two weeks, and…"

"And what?"

"She—I mean, she has this reputation, you know, and I don't know, she just… Well—shit." He shook his head and then apparently decided to just spit it out. "All she'll do is snog!"

I gaped at him.

"I mean—"

"Hold on," I said, holding up a hand. "You mean to tell me that you're upset because Meg won't fuck you?"

Hugo looked horrified, and to my relief, he looked embarrassed. This conversation had certainly taken a turn for the worst…

"No!" Hugo shook his head wildly, and looked around the library frantically as if expecting someone to pop out of the shadows. But it was Saturday, and the only people in the library were the kinds of people that were going to be so absorbed in their work that they wouldn't hear Hugo and I if we screamed. I knew that because I had often been one of them. "No—Rose, god, no. It's just… Shit, forget it."

I sighed and tried to release some of my anger. "Just explain."

"It's not that I expect her to… you know," he whispered. "But it's been two weeks and there's been _nothing_. I just… I feel like if she really actually liked me, she'd want to, you know?"

"Given her reputation?" I said with an arched eyebrow.

"I shouldn't have said it like that," Hugo said quickly. "It's just… Why doesn't she? She's older. She's… experienced. I just… And she won't be my girlfriend. I don't want to be a rebound, Rose."

Ah. That made much more sense. He was just feeling vulnerable because he clearly really liked her and he was afraid that she didn't like him in the same way. But I thought the very fact that she was going slow meant the opposite of what Hugo thought it meant. She must have wanted things to be different. She must have wanted Hugo to like her for more than just _that_, the way so many other boys at school hadn't. And even though he was my brother, I could admit that Hugo was a catch. He was handsome and tall and athletic, and he was adorable and hilarious, and everybody loved him. Meg must have wanted to make it work—and obviously her formula hadn't been working for her before so she wanted it to be different this time. I understood completely. I explained as much to him, and after I finished, he seemed like he felt a lot better.

"Just follow her lead," I finished. "She'll show you when she's ready, but you have to give her time."

"I like her a lot, Rose," Hugo said.

I smiled. "I can tell."

"She's just…" I watched a small smile form on his face as he stared at a spot on the table. "Beautiful. And sweet. And kind… And she just… We have a lot in common. We think the same way. She makes me laugh, and she makes me feel good about myself. I just… I don't know."

"Hugo," I said in a slightly awed voice. I had never seen him like this. "You really like her."

"Yeah," he said, looking up at me. "I really, really do."

I smiled and then let out a small huff. "We should go," I said, checking my watch. "Ron and Hermione will be waiting."

He rolled his eyes at my use of their first names and stood up to shove things into his bag. We left the library and headed for the exit to the grounds that led to Hogsmeade—McGonagall had charmed it so it would open for us. When we left the castle, Hugo nudged me with his shoulder.

"Thanks for listening, Rosie," he said with a grin.

I rolled my eyes and punched him in the shoulder. "Don't call me that."

We walked the rest of the way laughing and joking. His mood was much, much better after he had been able to talk about what was bothering him. I was glad I could do that for him. Briefly and suddenly, I thought of Scorpius, and the longing I felt for him overwhelmed me. The feelings came on so suddenly that I almost felt lightheaded. For a brief moment I thought of running back to the castle away from my brother and my parents before my rational mind came back and told me to relax. _What the hell?_

The bell above the door tinkled as we entered the Three Broomsticks. I immediately spotted my father's red hair in the corner, and my mother looked up and waved to us brightly. I waved back and we walked over. I tried not to be worried that it seemed a bit of a struggle for my father to stand. Hermione must have noticed the worry on my face.

"Oh, don't mind him, he's being dramatic," she said with an eye roll as she embraced me. Then I turned to my father and Hugo went to hug Hermione. _"Getting so tall,"_ I heard her murmur as I hugged Ron. He looked a bit paler than usual, but otherwise he seemed fine. He was grinning broadly and when I pulled away, he brushed a hand down my hair.

"You get more beautiful every time I see you, Rose," he said quietly. I blinked back the tears that immediately burned in the back of my eyes. To think that I had almost had to go the rest of my life without a hug from my father—the thought was unbearable. "You look different," he then said, tilting his head a bit.

I shrugged, blushing a bit. Scorpius was changing me. I could feel it, and it struck me that my father could see it on my features, in my eyes.

"I think she has a secret boyfriend," Hugo said after holding my mother's chair out for her and letting her sit down. She looked at him with pride before taking her seat. He then sat down next to her—across from me, with my father on his right at the circular table—and my dad and I sat. I shooed him off when he tried to pull out my chair like Hugo had done.

"I do not," I said.

"Rose—"

"Stop," I said to my mother. "Don't believe a word he says. _Hugo_ has a secret girlfriend."

His face reddened and he gave me a look. "Rose," he hissed.

"Hugo!" my mother screeched almost exactly like I had. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

"_Mum_, it's not—"

Luckily for my brother, he was saved when the elderly but still beautiful Madam Rosemerta came over to take our order. She chatted with our parents for a while—she'd known them when they were at Hogwarts, and of course she knew them from the war. She asked how my aunt and uncle were, and finally, she left with our order, and my mother immediately started in on Hugo like no interruption had even occurred.

"I'm going to kill you," Hugo said to me before he was forced to answer her questions. I just smiled and looked over at my father who was grinning like a fool. I realized in that moment how incredibly, ridiculously, embarrassingly happy I was, and I adopted a matching grin because in this moment, my life was perfect.

* * *

After Hugo and I got back to the castle, I hugged him goodbye—which shocked him—and headed for the Room of Requirement. I knew Albus had never said specifically that we were having practice, but I knew that he liked to jam during the day when he didn't have Quidditch practice, and I had it on good authority that the Slytherins weren't practicing until tomorrow afternoon (it paid to have a boyfriend on the inside).

When I got inside the room, I was greeted by a familiar, and yet not-so-familiar sight.

My eyes immediately went to the area near the drum set, and I saw a back to me—a strong, muscular, bare back that had nails raking down it. The back belonged to someone with brown floppy hair, who was straddling someone I couldn't see. Both were lost in each other, not noticing at all when I walked in and the door clicked behind me. There was a small heap of clothing on the floor, apparently belonging to the two people who were snogging each other soundly, making moaning and whimpering noises occasionally.

Rolling my eyes with a grin, I cleared my throat. Both figures jumped, and the boy with brown hair and a muscular back looked over his shoulder quickly.

"Hi, Fergie."

I heard the figure underneath Fergus Bossenen groan when he recognized the sound of my voice. A moment later, my cousin's black-haired head peaked around Fergie's frame.

"Hey," Albus said.

"We gotta stop meeting like this," I said as I walked toward them and Fergie moved off of Albus. I noticed then that Albus was down to his boxers and I suddenly felt a bit bad. They were clearly in the middle of something pretty heated… "I can come back," I said quickly.

Fergie laughed as he reached down and yanked his shirt over his head. I couldn't help but admire his abs right before he did so. I looked at Albus, who had been looking to, and when he looked back at me, he didn't even bother to blush. He reached for his pants and stood up to yank them on before sitting back down and grabbing his shirt to pull it over his head.

"No worries, Rose," Fergie said. "I was… We were done."

Albus shot Fergie a look, but Fergie kept his eyes on me. I frowned a bit, but didn't say anything.

"Are you guys supposed to be practicing?"

"No," Albus said, narrowing his eyes at me.

"No, I just wanted to play, and I knew you'd be here." I grinned. "I didn't know you'd be here like this, though. I'm sorry. I really can just come back later."

"No, no," Fergie said, smiling. Then he leaned down to kiss Albus goodbye. "I'll see you later, baby," he said right before he pecked him. But before Fergie could pull away, Albus put his hands behind the other boy's head and held him there, kissing him soundly. Fergie put his hands on Albus's shoulders to steady himself, and I just watched, happy and amazed. "Whoa," Fergie said when he was finally able to pull away. Albus grinned and wiped his lower lip with his thumb.

Then Albus stood up and put his hand on the back of Fergie's neck and leaned in to whisper something in his ear. I saw Fergie nod, and when he turned around, his face was bright red.

"I'll see you later, Rose," Fergie said hoarsely before he rushed from the room. As soon as he was out the door, Albus collapsed back into his seat and rubbed both hands down his face before looking at me.

"He's so hot, isn't he?" Albus asked, glancing at the door Fergie had just exited from.

"Majorly," I said, reaching for a nearby chair and sitting in it, facing Al. "What was all that whispering?"

Albus smirked. "Just a promise for later."

I shot him a disgusted look. "Gross."

Al laughed. "Oh, don't give me that. I know you've been off in the dungeons fucking Malfoy for the past two days."

My eyes widened. "Stop," I said through a short giggle.

"I knew it," he said, shaking his head.

"So are you and Fergie official or something?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Not really. We're just having fun."

I arched an eyebrow and suddenly became serious. "That's not what he thinks and you know it."

"Rose, I'm taking it slow. I'll let it get there. I promise."

"What did you just whisper in his ear?" I said in an accusatory voice.

Albus flushed, confirming my suspicion that it had been something illicit. "It's not like it matters," he said. "He won't do anything but snog."

I scoffed. "You should talk to Hugo," I muttered, standing up and walking toward the piano we had set up in the corner.

"What?"

"Nothing. Do you want to play?" I knew that if I pressed Al more about Fergie, we would just both end up upset with each other. I knew Albus still had feelings for Lysander whether he chose to admit it or not. I knew that he was trying with Fergie, though, and that was really all I could hope for. There was no use rehashing the same conversation we'd already had a dozen times.

"Rose, we haven't even gone on a real date yet," Albus said as he walked over and grabbed his guitar. "I'm not going to be—I don't know—intense about something that's so fresh." I supposed I understood. Not everyone could be like me and my near obsession over Scorpius when he'd only become officially my boyfriend the day before.

"That's fine," I said. "I get that. Just don't make him think it's more than it is. You know he's crazy about you."

"I know."

"Okay," I said. "Then let's play."

* * *

We got finished with practice late. Lysander and Nate had showed up later, and we'd jammed almost all night, since we'd gone so long without it. It felt amazing. We got better all the time, and things between Lysander and Albus had finally seemed to cool off. They were being normal with each other—no bitterness, no sexual tension, just the two of them being like they'd been before.

I was exhausted. I'd gone a bit crazy at practice, letting out a ton of energy and tension. I was stressed about Scorpius. My feelings for him were too strong, and they terrified me. I needed the practice to loosen up and feel free and wild, rather than wound so tight from the coil that Scorpius had seemed to permanently wind in me. I wanted him so much all the time. It was ridiculous.

In order to satisfy my craving for him, even though it was well past midnight, I was walking toward the dungeons to Scorpius's quarters. I had wandered toward Gryffindor first so Albus wouldn't say anything when he saw me, and now I was walking quickly down, unable to hold in the little skip in my step as I did.

When I got to the entrance to his quarters, I pressed my palm to the wall, and the wall slide aside.

The room was completely dark except for a small candle that was almost burned completely out that was sitting on Scorpius's end table. Through the soft glow, I could see Scorpius laying on his back with a book on his stomach. I smiled and walked toward him as the door slid shut behind me.

I couldn't wake him. As much as just seeing him there, shirtless and stretched out, made me want him, I didn't have the heart to bring him out of his sleep. We'd exhausted each other the past two nights, and I knew he needed to catch up on his sleep just like I probably needed to as well.

Instead of waking him, I walked up to him and pulled the book from off his stomach and set it on the table. Then I blew out his candle, and I walked quietly to the other side of his bed. I shed my clothes quickly after I set my bag at the foot of his bed. I was down to my bra and panties, and then I crawled into his bed. Trying not to wake him, but also desperately wanting to be as close to him as possible, I shifted myself onto my front and laid my head on his chest and wrapped an arm around his torso as I snuggled close. He smelled so good and I took a deep breath.

Then Scorpius shifted, and I looked up at him—both wanting him to wake up and be asleep—but he was still asleep.

Then my heart leapt when I felt his arm move and curl around my shoulders. I looked up briefly but he was still asleep while all the while holding me closer. I smiled and snuggled closer to him. It wasn't long before sleep took me down.

* * *

I yawned and stretched as I blinked my eyes open. It took me a second to realize where I was since I still wasn't completely used to being in Scorpius's bed. I blinked a few times and let my brain focus. I heard the shower running, and I smiled when I realized that Scorpius had let me sleep—probably thinking the same thing I had thought last night and knowing that we both needed sleep.

I turned over and looked at the clock on Scorpius's end table.

_Shit._

Hugo had told me yesterday that he wanted to have a Quidditch practice today, and the time he wanted us there was a half hour from now. I wouldn't have any time with Scorpius. Sighing, I slid out of bed. Then I smiled. I had to get ready, and I had to do it quickly. There was only one way. And with a grin, I took off my bra and panties and walked into the bathroom.

I opened the door to the shower and Scorpius whipped around to face me, gasping when he saw me standing there naked.

"Rose," he breathed. Then he reached a hand out and grabbed my wrist, pulling into the shower and up against his chest as he pressed his lips to mine.

When the kiss began to heat up, I pulled away. "Sorry, fritz," I said. "No time for any funny business. I have to get to Quidditch practice."

He groaned. "Are you serious?"

I nodded. "Sorry," I said with a smile as I reached around him and pulled his soap off the ledge.

I tortured him for the next ten minutes, cleaning myself slowly and letting him clean me, running his hands slowly over my body as I did the same to him—both of us lathering each other up in more ways than one. I wanted to stay—my entire body was on fire and all I wanted to do was have him touch me and take me to that place that only he could take me, but I couldn't. I promised Hugo I would be there, and that I would be there on time and ready to go.

"Stay," Scorpius breathed, running his hands down my hips and around to my arse, cupping it and yanking me against him.

"Stop," I sighed, reaching up and wrapping my hands around his neck. "I'll come back later."

He grunted in annoyance. "I have to go the greenhouses anyway."

"Okay, I'll see you after," I said. "But I can't stay all night. I have prefect duty."

"Rose," he buried his face into my neck and we both tightened our grip on each other as the hot water cascaded over both of us. "I shouldn't want you this much," he whispered.

I gasped and pulled back so I could look at him. "Scorpius."

"I shouldn't be so mad about not being able to spend a night with you. I should be able to live without you."

"Stop," I said, even though I didn't know why I said that. I didn't want him to stop at all. But I also couldn't bear to hear this. My feelings for him were already overwhelming, and when he said these things, it would only make everything harder. And I knew exactly how he felt. I loved him. I never wanted to be without him. All I wanted to do was stay in this shower and hold him for the rest of both of our lives.

"I'm sorry," he said. _Why was he apologizing?_

"I'll be late," I said suddenly. "I don't care." I pressed myself against him and I felt him pressing hard against my stomach. Hugo would just have to get over it. I needed this—needed him.

"No," he said. "You promised your brother. I get it."

I huffed and reached down between us so I could grip him in my hand. "It's fine," I said breathily. "I want you."

Scorpius stared at me long and hard for a few seconds and then he grasped me harder against him. "I'll be quick," he growled and turned me around, pressing me against the wall of the shower. My nipples hardened almost immediately when they were pressed against the cold tile. He brought a hand down in front of me, and a few swipes at my clitoris had me bucking against him. I was ready. Him lathering me up in the shower had turned me on wildly, and I could feel my arousal between my legs. He then slipped a finger inside me, and he knew as well as I that I was desperate for him.

"You're ready," he said.

"Always," I said, tipping my head back against his shoulder.

He kicked my legs apart and I felt his length rubbing along my folds. I moaned and arched back, and he dragged my hands up so they were flat on the wall in front of me and he brought his hands up to cover mine. His big hands dwarfed mine, and our fingers alternated before he began to rub against me, and his hands gripped mine against the wall.

"Keep your hands there," he told me before he slid his hands down my arms and cupped my breasts. I moaned and pressed my chest into his hands. He moved one hand away and rolled a nipple in between the fingers of his other hand. I felt him lining himself up with my entrance and then he was inside, and I bucked wildly as I moaned loudly. Then his other hand was on my nipple and he was thrusting hard and fast. There was no time, and he was trying to get both of us off quickly. I pushed myself back into him, meeting his thrusts, and he drove into me, whispering filthy words into my ear as I moaned loudly, unable to control myself, loving the feel of him and loving the sound of his voice whispering harshly in my ear. I wanted him so madly. Then he brought a hand down and swiped at my sensitive nub, and I was coming around him, calling out his name and clenching my walls around him. A moment later, I felt him spilling himself inside me.

We stayed like that for a moment, him inside me, panting into my ear and my head against the cool tiles of the shower as I panted along with him. And all I could think about was how much I loved him.

* * *

"You're late," Hugo said as I ran up to the pitch, miraculously only ten minutes late.

"Sorry," I said as I got up to the rest of the group. Hadley looked over his shoulder and smiled at me. I smiled back.

"It's fine," Hugo said exasperatedly. "I'm going to have the beaters first anyway. I was just telling the rest of them. I need to go over some plays with them. The rest of you stretch and warm up while we're doing this. It'll only be a few minutes"

"Hey," Hadley said to me after the group dispersed and I had walked over to the side—away from everyone as was my ritual—sitting on the grass and stretching my legs out in front of me. My hair was still wet from the shower, and I pulled it up on top of my head to get it out of my way. I felt warm and sated, and I tried not to let it show to Hadley or anyone else who might be looking in my direction. Hadley sat down in front of me.

"I haven't seen you in a few days," he said as he stretched. I couldn't help but admire the muscles in his arms as he did so.

"Oh," I said. "Yeah. I've been around."

"Are you still worried about your dad?"

I shook my head. "Not really. The healers said he'll be fine."

"That's great. I'm really glad."

Silence fell for a bit as we stretched. I watched Hugo, huddled on the grass with his beaters as he moved his hands around and demonstrated his new plays to them. I was glad all his angst from the day before had at least paid off on the pitch—the place he cared about most.

"Thanks for coming, by the way," I said suddenly to Hadley. Thinking about Hugo being worried about Ron made me remember that Hadley had come to see me when he was there. "You didn't have to do that."

He shrugged. "I wanted to. I had to know you were okay."

"Well, thanks," I said, looking up at him. When I looked up, he was already looking at me. He seemed to be regarding me, considering something, but then he just shook his head slightly.

"Did you see that thing in the _Prophet_ about Lysander's mum and dad?"

I laughed and nodded. "They're always doing ridiculous explorations like that. Who ever thought one would ever actually turn out to be something?" The _Prophet_ a week before had said that Luna Lovegood and Rolf Scamander had discovered a rare plant species while searching for "spargles"—distant cousins of nargles—that infest certain plants and have healing qualities (although magical creature specialists discounted their existence). They hadn't found the spargles, but they had discovered another rare plant species that most people had thought had gone extinct over a thousand years ago. "My dad always says that Luna found the only man in the world crazier than her."

Hadley laughed. "I think there's something to be said for that."

"It works for them," I said, laughing.

I watched him and it looked like something had suddenly dawned on him. "Are Lysander and Albus still…?"

I shook my head. "No. He's with someone else, but I don't know if I'm allowed to tell yet." I leaned in toward him and he smirked and leaned in. "It's Fergus Bossenen," I whispered.

His eyes went wide. "I didn't know ol' Bosse was gay! He never said anything."

"Oh my god, Hadley. He's lived in your dorm for seven years. And I fucking told you a _million_ times. You never listen." I gave an exaggerated eye roll and he chuckled, holding his hands up in surrender.

"Maybe you might have mentioned it."

I raised both eyebrows. "Might have?"

He shrugged and laughed. "I can neither confirm nor deny. I'm getting old. My memory isn't what it used to be."

"Oh, shut up. Your birthday isn't for three months."

"You remember," he said with a smile.

I frowned at him with a smile on my face. "Of course I remember, idiot."

He laughed. "Well—"

Hadley was interrupted by Hugo calling for the rest of us to join him and the beaters, and Hadley nudged me with a grin right before we joined everyone else. The rest of practice went by smoothly, and I could tell that Hugo felt a lot better than he had after our last couple practices. He told us all to hit the showers and that he would let us know in a few days when our next practice would be. He said we could have some time off since we'd improved so much over the last week or so.

Hadley tried to catch me after practice, but I told him I was skipping the shower so I could go work on some things. He accepted my excuse since I'd been out for a few days, and he said he'd see me later right before I practically ran to the greenhouses.

I checked the first two greenhouses before I finally opened the door to the third greenhouse, knowing he was in there. I walked through rows of magical herbs and plants before I turned one row and saw him. My breath caught in my throat.

He was huddled over a short row of some kind of plant that I didn't recognize. He was pulling the plants out by the roots and wiping his sweaty brow occasionally. His shirt was off, and I could see the muscles in his back flexing as he worked. I leaned against a tall shelf that was housing rows of potted plants and crossed my arms in front of me so I could watch him work. He was moving with sensuality and fluidity and strength as he squatted in front of the plants. Each time he would reach into the row with his left hand, yank the plant up, and I would see the muscle in his bicep twitch as he did so, right before he moved the plant to his right hand and set it into a carrier. He had sweat glistening on his bare back, and he was wearing a pair of cut off jeans to keep him cool in the heat of the greenhouse, so I could see his muscular legs while he squatted. God, he was sexy.

And he was mine.

His head was turned slightly, and after he pulled out another plant, he wiped his brow again and blew a wayward piece of his blond hair out of his eyes before putting the plant in the carrier. The small movement was incredibly sexy and caused heat to pool low in my belly. After he did that, he paused, not immediately moving to his next plant, but bracing his right hand on the carrier, seeming to study the plants he had uprooted.

"How was practice?"

His voice made me jump and I gasped.

He stood up and turned to face me, and I had to stop myself from bringing a hand up to cover my mouth. His chest was glistening and covered with smudges and lines of dirt, and the button of his jeans was undone, revealing the V of his torso that led down to the area that I knew intimately. I drank in his body without shame—he was my man, I was allowed to look.

When I finally looked up into his eyes, he was watching me intently, and I realized that I was panting slightly, my chest heaving. I tried to get my breathing under control, but he was looking at me like that, and his looks always drove me mad. I ran my thumb across the tips of my fingers as my heart started to race and my body temperature rose.

He was on me in a flash.

His hands went around to grip the back of my neck so he could tilt my head up and do what he wanted with me. I responded willingly, letting his tongue slip easily into my mouth as little whimpers began to escape from my throat. I gripped his hips and yanked him closer, wanting our bodies to touch and never stop touching. He growled in response and moved to walk us back until my back hit a metal shelf and I heard the pots of plants rattle, but I didn't care. I inhaled sharply as his mouth left mine and moved to my neck—kissing and biting—and my hands moved to wrap around his neck as his hands slid down and cupped my arse. I sighed his name and ground my hips against his.

The greenhouse was so hot and humid and I felt a light sheen of sweat erupt on my skin as his kisses and his body pressed against mine just made me even hotter. I felt a bead of sweat begin to slide slowly down my chest between the crevasse of my breasts, and his head dipped down and he dragged his tongue up and licked it up, making me moan and wrap my arms tighter around him.

I didn't know what had happened—everything happened so fast, but before I knew it, the top of my Quidditch uniform was ripped open and he was yanking my pants down, taking my underwear with them. I kicked them both the rest of the way off before his mouth latched to mine again and I felt his chest pressing against mine. I sank my hands into his hair at the back of his head—starting at his neck and sliding them slowly up—and as his tongue fought mine, I tightened my grip in his hair. He groaned his approval, and his hands squeezed my arse before sliding a bit lower so he could lift me up against the shelves. I gasped and wrapped my legs around him tightly.

It was him. Only him. There was no one else and there would never be anyone else. He made me feel beautiful and sexy and loved and special. He devoured me and drank me in and ravished me like no one ever had or ever would. I wanted him so badly that my heart clenched painfully, tightening and bursting in my chest simultaneously. I whimpered his name into his mouth, and I reached down so I could push his jeans below his hips without parting our mouths. I felt him spring free and hit a spot right above where I wanted him to be inside. I wrapped my arms around his neck again, trying to steady myself, and he reached in between us and positioned himself before pushing himself inside.

I broke my mouth away from his and tipped my head back and moaned loudly, and Scorpius grunted low and long as he slid all the way in. My head was fallen back against one of the shelves and his face was buried into my neck as he began a steady rhythm, pushing up into me.

Would I ever tire of this? Would I ever not want him this desperately? Would his touch ever not ignite every part of my body? Would I ever stop loving him as wildly as I did?

He was so deep inside me with gravity pulling me down and him rising up to meet me. With each slide all the way in, I moaned as he breathed heavily into my neck, letting out heavy puffs of breath with each upward thrust.

Then it became hard for me to take it anymore—I craved release. I never wanted him to stop, but I also needed to feel the relief that only he could give me. On one particularly hard thrust from him, I bore down on him and clenched my walls, making him buck into me and cry out my name. He pulled his face out of my neck and kissed me, briefly swiping his tongue against mine before our mouths separated a bit but our lips continued to brush against each other as he thrusted into me and I bore down to meet each of this thrusts.

"So close… Scorpius… Ah, I'm so close. Like that, yes, like that. Like that." Our open mouths continued to brush against each other and I felt him shudder, warning me that he was close, too.

"So tight. Fuck you feel so good," he panted against my mouth. "I'll never get enough." Then he shifted his hips a certain way, and I came hard around him, tightening my legs around his waist and moaning loudly and continuously as he continued to push inside me, making my orgasm last as he rubbed against my sensitive walls and finally released himself inside me with a loud grunt.

After we were both finished, he slid out slowly, making me twitch, and then I dropped my legs, but he didn't back away. He bent his head and pressed his forehead against mine as I let my eyes drift shut while we both caught our breath, both of us clearly blown away but our raw desire for the other. Before Scorpius, I hadn't even known I was capable of feeling things like this.

Finally, he pulled his forehead away from mine, and I opened my eyes to see him smiling the sweetest smile at me.

I wanted to tell him then because I felt it so unbelievably strongly. _I love you_. Fuck my fingers, my entire _body_ was tingling and humming, and my heart felt so tight in my chest. I tried to steady my breathing, but I couldn't. Not when he was looking at me like that after making me feel incredible.

"Rose," he said.

"Fritz," I responded with a smile and a shaky voice.

He shook his head with that adorable smile and my chest clenched painfully.

"You… Man…"

"What?"

"I don't know… You're driving me crazy," he said. "I don't know how or why, but whatever you're doing… don't stop."

Before I leaned in to kiss him, I whispered, "Never."

* * *

_Next chapter:_

_A few weeks pass, and Rose and Scorpius get caught in a sticky situation._


	31. Time Slips By

_A/N: Thanks so much to all of you! Please keep letting me know what you think! I just wanted to tell you that there is a two week time jump between the last chapter and this one, just in case it's confusing. Let me know if you have any questions about anything, and enjoy!_

* * *

**Chapter 31**: **Time Slips By**

He was staring at me.

I was sitting at a table in the potions classroom doing lines, looking down at my parchment while trying to hide my smile, and Scorpius Malfoy was staring at me.

He hadn't assigned me any lines. This was the last day of the two-week detention that I had been ordered to serve on McGonagall's orders after sending her a letter saying that Malfoy was sleeping with a student, even though the only student he'd slept with was me, and he hadn't been sleeping with any student at the time of the letter. Ironic.

Since he was an amazing boyfriend that rocked my world on a daily basis with his words as much as his actions, he had asked McGonagall if I could serve my detentions with him. She hadn't thought anything weird about it—since what I had done affected him more than anyone, she thought it would be only fitting that I served my detentions with him.

Little did she know that every detention for these last two weeks had consisted of no punishments, unless you counted a few smacks on the arse. No, these "detentions" had consisted of Malfoy fucking me senseless on his desk and probably every table in this classroom—as well as up against the walls, on the floor, in his office, and in his quarters. They had consisted of him going down on me for so long that I had to beg him to stop after I couldn't take another orgasm. They had consisted of us lying naked on the floor or on the tables just talking about dumb things or important things or just any things that we could think of.

I got to know Malfoy so much over those two weeks. He talked about his apprenticeship in Germany and his time at Hogwarts. He told me about his friends, and he even said that one day he wanted me to meet them. I loved when he talked about future plans—"one day I'll take you here" or "one day I'll show you this"—because it told me that he didn't think of us as temporary. Obviously he couldn't introduce me to his friends until I was finished with Hogwarts, which meant that he planned on being with me after the school year ended.

Every day I thought about telling him I loved him. The more we laughed and talked and cuddled and screwed each other to exhaustion, the harder I fell. When he smiled at me, I wanted to tell him. When he whispered in my ear, I wanted to tell him. When he talked about his parents, I wanted to tell him. When he talked about how hard it was being an only child, I wanted to tell him. When he kissed me sweetly, I wanted to tell him.

Right now, as I sat at this table and wrote lines and I could feel his eyes on me, I wanted to tell him.

Sometimes I thought he wanted to tell me, too. Sometimes when we were together—laying in his bed looking at each other or just sitting and talking or whatever—he would get this look in his eyes. It was a look I'd first seen a couple weeks ago—the night of our first detention.

McGonagall had sent me a note telling me that I would be serving my detentions with Malfoy _at his request_, and I had smiled so big that a muscle in my jaw started to hurt. I'd practically skipped down to the dungeons, and as soon as I had opened the door, he was all over me. He'd taken me right there, against the door of the potions classroom, making me blush when I was reminded of it the next day in Potions class.

But afterwards he had gotten this look on his face. I couldn't even accurately describe it. It was a mix of a lot of things—most of which I couldn't identify, but I thought it looked like he wanted to say something. He was staring at me so intently and with so many emotions and he looked like he was on the edge of something. But just like all the times since, it passed, and I was left wondering.

With a smile, I stood up from my desk and walked up to Malfoy's. He watched my every movement—his eyes roving across my body. I held the parchment on which I had written lines in front of him, and he glanced down at it before looking back up at me. I pushed his chair back and walked so I could sit on his desk in front of him. I was in my school uniform—a dark skirt and white shirt, but I had taken off my Gryffindor tie and it was abandoned on the table I'd just been at. The first several buttons of my shirt were undone, exposing my cleavage to him. I crossed my legs and his eyes traveled up and down my legs. I leaned back on my hands.

"I finished my lines, professor."

He rolled his eyes. "Red—"

I nodded toward them. "Aren't you going to check them?"

"I'd rather have my cock inside you."

Even though I was used to him talking like this by now and I wasn't embarrassed, my face still heated up. It was a natural reaction.

Scorpius moved his hands, but I kicked them away with my toe and nodded toward the lines. He rolled his eyes again and looked down at them. I watched as his eyes widened, and when he looked back up, it took his brain a moment to register that I had slid from the desk onto my knees in front of him. I pushed his chair back a bit as I shimmied into the little alcove where his legs usually went under his desk.

As my lines, I had written, _"I can't wait to suck your cock"_ over and over.

I unzipped his black slacks and tugged his pants down a bit, and my mouth was on him before he could even register what was going on.

"Rose, fuck." He instantly hardened in my mouth and his hands sank into my hair, gripping the roots as he tried to slow me down as I began to bob. "Easy."

But I just shook my head and fought the resistance he was trying to apply. I loved him like this. I loved it because he couldn't control himself or his reactions, and he was always trying to stop me because he couldn't take it. It was the same thing when he put his mouth on me, but he was always relentless even when I begged, so I liked to return the favor.

"Shit," he said, panting heavily. His grip in my hair was so tight that it was almost painful, but it just spurred me on. "You're so hot."

I looked up from what I was doing where I had been so concentrated, and I saw him staring at me, his gray eyes blazing and searing me. My skin tingled and my chest clenched, and with my eyes on him, I pulled my mouth up and off him, and then tilted my head so I could lick him from root to tip. He shivered and his eyes drifted shut as his head tipped back. I took his tip in my mouth again and then slowly slid down—him releasing a low hiss as I did so.

The next time I pulled away, I sucked in my cheeks and sucked at him hard as I pulled back, making him release a strangled cry. I slid back down and I was sure he was going to come, and I craved it, wanting to taste all of him. His grip in my hair tightened and his breath was coming out in short bursts, and I could feel his thighs quivering beneath my palms—but then suddenly I heard a noise, and he jolted up, choking me a bit, and I pulled back, covering my mouth.

"Good evening, professor," Scorpius said. I looked up at him from where I was kneeling underneath his desk, but he kept his eyes off me, staring straight ahead.

"Hello, Professor Malfoy."

My eyes widened and my stomach churned so hard that I thought I might throw up when I heard the sound of the familiar voice.

"Everything all right?" Malfoy asked.

"Yes, yes, of course. I was near the dungeons so I thought I'd come remind you of the staff meeting tomorrow evening." Her voice was clipped and tight like it always was, betraying nothing and not letting on that she was suspicious of anything.

I finally released a breath I hadn't known I was holding. There was no way McGonagall would see me unless she walked around his desk, and I couldn't see any reason why she would. I felt myself relax at the thought. We were safe. When I released my breath, I saw Malfoy twitch, and I smiled in spite of the situation, thinking of my hot breath on his cock driving him mad while he talked with McGonagall. She started talking to him about something, and she didn't seem bothered by his nods and one-word answers. Apparently, he wasn't able to form words at the moment.

I looked up at him briefly before looking at his cock, which had started to go soft but had a small drop of come sliding down from the tip. I frowned. But then I bit my lip and grinned right before I leaned forward and licked the drop that had begun to slide down with just the tip of my tongue. He jerked a bit, and I heard McGonagall ask if he was okay.

"Yeah—yes," he chuckled breathily. "Just a chill."

She said something about the dungeons, but I didn't hear because I had scooted up and swallowed his tip in my mouth. His hands went up to fold on top of his desk, I assumed in an attempt not to touch me how he wanted and draw attention. I smiled and began to move up and down his length slowly. He became fully hard again and I felt his legs tense underneath my palms.

I went slow. I didn't want to make any sounds so I was careful with how my mouth was moving. Each suck, however, was a slow, hard suck, and after one particularly suctioned suck, his knee jerked a bit, but he just kept listening to McGonagall and talking to her when it was required. And although his body was reacting, he was doing an incredible job of keeping it together with his voice and expressions, which I noticed when I looked up at him through my lashes. There was no way McGonagall suspected anything.

It seemed to go on forever, but then finally, he slowly moved one hand to grip my hair tightly and I almost squeaked in pain, and he pushed my head down quickly, and I sucked hard as I pulled up slowly, and I felt him spilling himself into my mouth. It took all my power not to moan or make any noise at all as he filled my mouth and his grip in my hair remained firm. It was by far the hottest moment of my entire life, and I could feel my arousal in my underwear after he lost control but seemed to hold onto his control so well at the same time. This man had, yet again, rocked my world and taken me to a place I had never been. I wanted him. I loved him, and I wanted him inside me immediately.

There was a roaring in my ears as I pulled away and sat back on my heels, looking up at him as his hand moved from my hair and went back to the top of his desk. His cock was laying soft, and I couldn't help but look at it and think about how it felt inside me. Even soft, it was still so thick and long, and I just wanted to reach out and touch it, but I was afraid I might actually lose control this time if I did. So I waited and prayed for McGonagall to finish up and get the hell out.

"Okay, I'll let you get back to work." It took all my power not to audibly sigh. I heard a swish of robes and then—"Oh, isn't Weasley supposed to be here?"

I saw Scorpius's legs tense as my eyes widened. He chuckled—I could tell it was a nervous chuckle but I suspected McGonagall had no idea. "She was here. I let her go early—last day of detention and all."

She didn't laugh, but when she spoke, I thought I heard humor in McGonagall's voice when she spoke. "You're finally softening to the girl, aren't you?"

My hand flew to my mouth as I attempted to stifle a laugh. I saw a muscle working in his jaw. He smiled at McGonagall. "Perhaps."

"She really does mean well," McGonagall said, her voice softening. "She had a hard go of it last year, but… I've noticed a change in her lately." My smile faded into a thoughtful frown as I listened to McGonagall talk about me. The hand on my mouth slipped a bit and I looked up at Scorpius, who was staring resolutely ahead. I had no idea McGonagall even noticed or cared about me or my life. In that moment, my respect and love for McGonagall soared. "I think the old Weasley will be back soon."

"I'm somewhat fond of this Weasley," Scorpius said after a pause, making me smile and stupid fucking tears burn in my eyes. Why were they being so fucking nice? "As long as she's not breaking school rules." I smirked up at him, but he didn't look down, of course.

This time, I actually heard McGonagall chuckle. "Yes, this new Weasley does have spunk. But I just mean… She was… sad… And I see her now, and she looks happier than I've seen her in a long time." _Love would do that to you, McGonagall._ "I just hope it lasts."

Scorpius just smiled and nodded. A few moments later, the two said their goodbyes, and as soon as the door was shut, Malfoy flicked his wand at the door and I heard a faint click. Not a moment later, he was hauling me up by my shoulders, and I stumbled a bit and lost my balance and fell into his lap. His hands were still gripping my shoulders hard.

"Are you crazy?" he said angrily. His eyes were like molten silver lava.

"I—" I knew he'd liked it, but it certainly had been risky.

"You are…" I smiled at him weakly and squirmed a bit under his gaze. He hissed and I felt him harden beneath me. "God, you turn me on so much."

"What—"

But before I could say anything else, his mouth latched onto mine. Soon I was on my back with my skirt hiked up and my underwear pushed aside, and he was pushing inside me hard and rough, growling about how dangerous and stupid that had been, while at the same time saying how hot I made him and how sexy I was. I came apart on the desk, my arms above my head, gripping the desk above me, and my shirt yanked open as he grabbed my breasts roughly and continued to push in and out at an unforgiving pace until he finally spilled himself inside me.

After we both finished, he carried me to his bed, undressed me, and kissed me all over, whispering words of praise and adoration as he did so. I was so lost in him, and my heart was pounding fiercely and my entire body was on fire. After I'd lost count of my orgasms and the moon was shining brightly in the window, I laid on my back and he hovered over me, his torso over me and his legs to the side of me. He brushed a strand of hair out of my face and braced himself on his elbows so he could look at me.

"Why are you crying?" he asked me quietly as he reached up to brush a tear that had fallen out of the side of my eye. He looked wrecked at the sight of me crying. I just smiled up at him. I took a moment to think before I considered what I would say.

"It's just all so much—how I feel about you, how you make me feel," I whispered. "It overwhelms me."

He smiled the sweetest, most beautiful smile, and the pain in my chest threatened to overwhelm me. He then reached down and grabbed my hand and moved it up to place it over his heart.

"Do you feel that?" he asked hoarsely. I did. "Rose, I feel the same way about you." _I love you_. "My heart is racing. It hasn't stopped racing in six weeks. I… I know how you feel, and I feel it, too."

I didn't know what to say. Was he trying to tell me he loved me without saying it? Should I say it? I didn't know. Instead of saying anything, I just cupped his face and pulled him into a kiss as more tears began to slide out of the sides of my eyes and land on his pillow. He pulled away from me and kissed them away, which only made me cry harder. When we finally fell asleep, he was laying on my chest and I was clutching him to me tightly, afraid that if I let him go I would lose this moment. I couldn't let this go.

* * *

I snuck out early the next morning before Scorpius woke up. I was embarrassed that I had cried, and I didn't want to have to sit there while Scorpius assured me that it was okay. _Ugh._

And anyway, today was the first Hogsmeade weekend of the school year, and I needed to get ready. I had told Al that I would hang out with him and Fergie for a bit, and I had also told Hadley that I would come hang out with him and some of the Gryffindors at some point. Hadley and I were nearly back to completely normal—at least, normal before he had been my boyfriend. We talked a lot in class—although not in Potions because I didn't want to talk to him in front of Scorpius—and at Quidditch practice, which had become nearly almost every other day because we had our first match the following weekend against Ravenclaw. We were friends again, and it was nice, I had to admit. Really it was just nice to have friends in Gryffindor again. Because as much as I loved Albus, it was just nice to sit in the common room and be with them. It felt amazing to just be normal Rose again.

No one seemed bothered by my renewed presence. Some people were confused at first, but after they realized I wasn't there to harass or berate them, everyone essentially accepted me back into the fold without question, as if nothing had really happened. Ainsley Dale, one of my dormmates, was especially excited. She'd gossiped with me for hours a few days after everything had started to go back to normal. It was like she was catching me up on everything that had happened in the last year, and I just laughed and rolled my eyes and listened. She was so excited to have me back, and I was excited to be back.

As well as telling Hadley I would hang out with him and the Gryffindors, Scorpius had also promised to sneak me away at some point so him and I could have some alone time. The anticipation had my fingertips tingling already.

When I got into the dormitory, I saw Meg standing in front of a full length mirror we had hung on the wall next to the door back in third year for all of us to use. She was just staring at her reflection.

I frowned at her and chuckled a bit. "Hey," I said, walking over to my four-poster and throwing my bag onto my bed. None of them ever questioned the fact that I stayed out all night on many nights, but I could tell that all of them but Lucy were desperate to know. I then started digging in my trunk as I heard her mutter a greeting.

I straightened with a dress in my hand and turned to her. "You okay?"

Meg looked at me through the mirror, her back to me. She let out a deep, shuttering sigh. "No."

I smiled at her, amused by her silliness. I had an idea of why she was so stressed. After Hugo had told me everything about them, I had made a stronger effort to get on better terms with her. I figured if I could be friends with Hadley, I could certainly be friends with Meg. "What's wrong?"

"It's just…" She sighed heavily. "Hugo…"

"Okay."

"Is it okay for you to talk about this? I mean, he's your brother."

I laughed and sat on my bed so I could look at her. I crossed my legs and leaned back on my hands. "Shoot."

I heard the click clack of her heels as she walked over to Lucy's bed and sat on it, facing me. She did look really pretty. Her black, shoulder-length hair was voluminous and framing her face perfectly. She was wearing a casual, strapless caramel colored dress that brought out her eyes incredibly and made her olive skin look flawless. It was set off with a pair of nude heels, and a long gold chain hanging around her neck. She crossed her legs and leaned forward on them. I knew Hugo would be mad for her when he saw her.

"It's just…" She huffed. "God, okay, I really like Hugo." She waited for my reaction but I just raised my eyebrows for her to go on. "Like, I really, _really_ like him. And it's crazy because at the beginning of… you-know-who—" I just shook my head with a smile and she went on. "—I never felt like this. It wasn't like this. I wasn't like a ten-year-old girl giddy over her first crush, but that's how I feel about Hugo. He's just… He's so sweet and funny and hot—oh. Sorry."

I laughed. "It's okay. My brother's a catch." She smiled back. "But if you like him and you think he's so amazing then what's the problem?"

Meg opened her mouth and closed it a few times, then she blurted, "He just makes me so nervous! Like when I'm around him, I can't form words sometimes, and when he smiles, I just—I lose it because—I don't know. I like him and I want him to like me, and I'm afraid I'm going to mess it up. And I know he's younger, but he's—god, I don't know! I just… It's hard for me to feel like this after everything that happened!"

"With Hadley?"

She exhaled and nodded.

"Look, take it from me, I let what happened with Hadley run my life for _way_ too long. The sooner you move on, the better. Hugo is a good guy, believe me. I know you feel vulnerable and scared, but if there was ever a guy to feel vulnerable with, it's my brother. He'll never hurt you, Meg. You don't have to be afraid of that. Hugo is the most protective and loyal person on earth, and he would never hurt the ones he cares about. And besides," I added. "If he did, I'd kill him."

Meg laughed, and I saw relief sweep over her features. She exhaled and smiled at me. "You're right." Her smile grew. "You're right, you're right." She jumped up from Lucy's bed and smoothed her dress. "You're right."

"You keep saying that," I joked.

She laughed. "I know, but you are! Okay, I have to go, I told Hugo I'd meet him downstairs ten minutes ago."

"He's used to women being late," I said through a laugh. "Between me and my mother, trust me."

She bit her lip and grinned. "Okay, I'm gonna go." She rushed to her bed and grabbed her clutch purse, and then rushed to the door. Right before she turned the knob, she turned back to me. "Hey, thanks," she breathed. "I needed that."

I nodded with a smile. "Go," I urged. "Don't keep him waiting too long." She gave me a knowing look, and I think she understood my double meaning.

A while later, I was putting the finishing touches on my make up in the bathroom when I heard a vibration coming from near my bed, and I practically ran out.

Last week, Scorpius had charmed a piece of parchment so that we could send messages to each other without owls, figuring we could be more discreet this way. He'd charmed it so it would vibrate whenever he sent me a message so I could know, and the ink dissolved after a couple seconds so there was no trace.

When I got to my four-poster, I unrolled the scroll and saw his message.

_Where did you sneak off to?_

I smiled, and grabbed a quill and sat down to write him back.

_**I had to get ready for Hogsmeade**_**. **

He wrote back quickly.

_Okay. You're sure this has nothing to do with last night?_

Dammit. Of course he knew. He knew me better than anyone, so of course he realized I felt weird about last night. How could I not? I'd gotten all weepy after sex. Who does that?

_**No, I just needed to get ready and none of my stuff was there.**_

_You know you don't have to be embarrassed, right? I feel the same way about you._

_**I know.**_

_Are you sure?_

It took me a moment to write back—was I sure?—but finally I wrote:

_**I think so.**_

_You don't ever have to question how I feel about you, red. _

My heart was pounding. I couldn't do this right now. My system was already so frayed from last night, and if he kept saying things like that, I would die.

_**Okay.**_

_I'll still see you later, right?_

_**Of course.**_

His response didn't come for a while, so I thought that was the end of the conversation. I set the parchment down and stood up so I could finish getting ready, but then I heard the vibration, and I leaned down to pick up the scroll and unroll it.

_Rose, please don't be afraid._

My breath caught as my mouth fell open, and I exhaled a moment later. I felt tears stinging the backs of my eyes and I looked up and away from the scroll, trying to blink them away.

Then I took a deep breath, threw down the scroll and rushed around for the next ten minutes so I could finish getting ready. I couldn't think about this know, or I could go crazy. No, I would just have to think about this later.

* * *

"Rose, you look incredible."

"Thanks, Fergie," I said with a smile as I walked up to Albus and Fergie, who were perusing the shelves at Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, a place they had to keep their hands off each other because our uncle could be anywhere. But I could tell they were both itching to touch. The thought made me grin.

"Yeah, Rose, what's the occasion?"

"I just wanted to look nice for the first Hogsmeade weekend," I said with a shrug.

"Yeah, I'm sure that's it," Albus muttered. I elbowed him.

I knew I looked good, though. I was wearing a blue dress that perfectly matched my eyes. It had thick, lace straps that led down to a tight lace bust that pushed my cleavage up nicely without being indecent. It got looser after the bust, and changed into a chiffon material that fluttered against my skin. The dress was almost—_almost—_indecently short, so that when I was outside and the wind blew too hard, I would have to hold it down so every witch and wizard in Hogsmeade wouldn't get a show. My hair was pulled to the side in a thick, loose braid, and I was wearing the long chain with a turquoise charm at the end that Albus had gotten for me, along with a pair of short turquoise, peep toe heels that matched the necklace.

It was still unseasonably warm, but I had a sweater shoved into my brown leather messenger bag that was hanging off one shoulder just in case.

"Are you going to the Three Broomsticks with the Gryffindors in a bit?" Fergie asked me.

"I might go for a little bit, you?"

I saw Albus studying a bottle of something intently, but I could tell he was hanging onto every word of Fergie's. "Probably not," he said. "We were thinking about heading back to the castle soon."

"Oh?" I said, feigning innocence.

"Yeah, we're kind of over it, you know, after seven years…" he trailed off, but I noticed neither he nor Albus would look at me or at each other.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, grow up. If you guys want to go back to castle and fuck, just say it."

Fergie's mouth fell open, and Albus gasped.

"_Rose!_"

"What?" I said with a shrug.

"We—what—okay, we aren't going to—do _that_."

"Well, you're going back because you want to fool around, right?"

Neither of them said anything, and I laughed.

"It's okay with me," I said. "I get it. Everyone's away at Hogsmeade—dorm to yourselves. I'm surprised you guys have even made it this long."

"It's a struggle," Albus mumbled. Fergie elbowed him this time.

"Well, I should go hang out with the Gryffindors for a while anyway," I said. "You two go. Have fun and don't do anything I wouldn't do." Albus arched an eyebrow at me and I punched him in the shoulder. "Just go, you deviants." After saying goodbye, they both practically ran from the shop.

I walked slowly over to the Three Broomsticks, looking in shop windows and appreciating the sun and warm weather. Briefly I thought of Hugo and Meg, but when I got an image of them snogging in Madam Pudifoot's, I shook my head in an attempt to get the thought out of my head. It was one thing to give Meg advice, it was another to get the mental images. Gross.

"Hey! Rose, wait up!"

I looked over my shoulder and saw a tall, muscular, light-brown-haired figure coming toward me.

"Hey, Hadley."

"Are you on your way to the Three Broomsticks—you look amazing, by the way," he said, panting a bit as he caught up with me and started walking in step with me.

"Thanks," I said, smiling.

"New dress?"

I rolled my eyes. "Hadley, you've seen me in this dress before."

He frowned. "When? I think I would remember a dress like this."

I just shook my head and didn't say anything. The only other time I'd worn this dress was at the end-of-year celebration in the Great Hall last year. He'd bumped into me and told me I'd looked pretty. I'd run from the Great Hall and out onto the grounds and cried in front of the lake until Albus came to carry me back to Gryffindor.

"Anyway, yes, I'm going to the Three Broomsticks. I thought you'd already be there," I said coldly, recalling my bitter memory.

"Oh, no, I was on the pitch." That was when I noticed that his hair was still wet, apparently from a shower. He saw me glance up and then he shrugged. "I'm just trying to make up for my shitty practices a few weeks ago. I want to win next weekend. I don't… Well, I don't want to let Hugo down." He looked at the ground, and just like that, I wasn't mad about the dress anymore.

"That's really good, Had," I said, using the nickname for him I hadn't used in over a year. He looked up at me and grinned like a fool.

We chatted for the rest of the way until we got to the Three Broomsticks and immediately spotted a group of sixth and seventh year Gryffindors in the corner being loud and disruptive. I smiled as we walked over and waved to the people who had turned and waved at us.

As soon as I got to the table, Ainsley pounced. "Are you and Hadley back together?" she whispered frantically. "Is that why you've been coming back late every night… or not coming back at all?" She raised both of her perfectly-sculpted eyebrows.

I shook my head with a smile. "No, we are definitely not back together. Just friends."

She narrowed her eyes at me and gave me a knowing look before shrugging. "By the way, what do you think of Meg and Hugo?"

It was nice to be sitting around with my classmates. Lucy and Nate were there—even though Nate was a Hufflepuff—but as always, they were in their own world, and my cousin Lily was there, as she was seeing a seventh year, both of whom were _extremely_ into public displays of affection. We all hung out for a while, just laughing and talking and joking, and it hit me then how much I had missed it—how much being with my classmates made me happy. I realized then that it hadn't necessarily been Hadley that had made me so isolated, but maybe it had been my choice to isolate myself from everyone. It was all intertwined. Hadley had made me unhappy, and I thought I needed to isolate myself in order to protect myself, but the isolation only made my unhappiness worse, not better.

_Look at me_, I thought to myself. _Growing and changing and shit._

Currently, Hadley was telling a ridiculous joke to Ainsley and me that had me snorting into my butterbeer while Ainsley just rolled her eyes at his crude humor.

Then, I heard the bell above the door tinkle and immediately my fingertips started to tingle. I frowned and jerked my head over my shoulder, and I saw Scorpius standing in the doorway. I tilted my head a bit, and he jerked his head toward the door before he headed out of it and back outside on the streets of Hogsmeade. My heart started pounding and my breathing picked up, and my mind started racing as I tried to think of an excuse to leave.

"I'll be right back," I said quickly, and then I got up and headed out the door without explanation.

"Rose, hey!"

As soon as the door to the Three Broomsticks had shut behind me, I looked back and saw Hadley, looking confused and upset.

"Did I do something?"

"What? No, I just… I forgot I had to… do something." I glanced around and saw a bright blonde head turn a corner, and my heart leapt. "I'll be back in a minute," I said.

"Okay…" Hadley still looked confused, and he turned to go, but then he turned back. "I'm glad you came today," he said.

"Yeah," I said quickly. "Me, too. I'll see you soon." And then I rushed away, leaving a confused Hadley Underwood in my wake.

As soon as I turned the corner of the alleyway Scorpius had gone down, I felt a hand grip my wrist and yank me down. Scorpius dragged me down until he found a small alcove that we could fit in and be concealed. I looked up at him, expecting him to start kissing me, but he looked angry. I frowned.

"What's—"

"He's still in love with you."

"Scorpius."

He ran his hands through his hair. "I can't stand you spending time with him."

"What? What are you talking about?" I was confused by his attitude. I remembered back to a few weeks ago when he'd gotten angry after seeing me walking to Potions with Hadley. After that, though, he hadn't mentioned it since, and I assumed it was because he realized how I felt about him.

"I didn't want to be a controlling boyfriend—I _don't_ want to be—but I can't fucking stand it, Rose. He's in love with you."

"You have nothing to worry about," I said, repeating what I'd said the first time we'd had a similar conversation. "I'm not in love with him." _I'm in love with you._ "I promise you, we are only friends. I want nothing more than that from him."

"I don't care. I don't want you spending time with him."

Anger flared inside me. "You aren't going to tell me what to do."

"You need someone to tell you what to do," he snapped. "Or you get yourself into stupid situations."

I narrowed my eyes at him, knowing he was referring to the letter and to the night when he caught Hadley forcing himself on me.

"How can you even want to be his friend after everything he did to you?"

"Because I'm with you now," I said angrily, my voice raising. "I can go back to normal and have friends again because I'm fucking happy with you now. How can I possibly think about wanting anyone else when you occupy roughly 90% of my thoughts?"

His features softened a bit and his hands went up to cup my face. And then he got that look in his eyes—that look that I thought _meant_ something, but I didn't know what. He kissed me softly.

"Come on," he said, his mood completely shifting. He took my hand and laced our fingers together, and then he looked out of the alcove to make sure no one was around and then he pulled me out. "I have a surprise for you."

He dragged me along behind the shops until we reached the Shrieking Shack.

"Really?" I said, smirking, all my anger from earlier gone when I looked up into his smiling, boyish face. I couldn't possibly stay mad at him when he was so bloody gorgeous.

"For some reason, everyone still thinks it's haunted. Come on." He pulled me past the gates, and flicked his wand at the door. It creaked as he pushed it open, and he pulled me inside. I looked into the large open space at the entrance, and saw there was a wide beam of sunlight coming in from where the ceiling had fallen away years ago. Underneath that beam of sunlight was a checked blanket with a wicker basket sitting on top.

I looked up at him with a bright smile.

"I know it sucks that we can't have a real picnic out on the grounds since we can't be seen. But I hope this will be okay." He gave me a shy smile, and I wanted to slap him for making me love him so much. But instead, I lunged at him and wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips to his. He laughed into my mouth and wrapped his arms tightly around my waist, lifting me off the floor.

"Why are you so perfect?" I asked, after leaning back so I could look at him.

Scorpius shrugged with a grin. "I guess I was just born this way." He kissed me hard again and then set me back on my feet so I could go over to the blanket of our makeshift picnic. I sat down and bent my legs underneath me, and he sat down next to me with his legs slightly bent in front of him. "You look incredible," he said, while looking into the basket. "I can't wait to rip that dress off of you." I blushed as he opened the picnic basket and pulled out a tray of covered sandwiches and a bowl of strawberries.

"My mother sent these to me yesterday," he said casually, as if he hadn't just said he was going to get me naked in the Shrieking Shack. "They're fresh from her garden."

"Does she know you're sharing them with your secret girlfriend?" I asked, leaning in to nuzzle against his neck and smell him before I pulled away and looked at him. My whole body was on fire. I shifted closer to him, craving constant closeness with him.

"I don't think so," he said with a smirk. Then he pulled out a bottle of champagne and two glasses. He held the bottle out toward me. "Do you want to open it?"

I nodded eagerly with a smile. I had always been jealous when I watched my parents opening bottles of champagne during the holidays. "I've never done it before," I said, taking the bottle from his hands.

He smirked. "Glad I could be your first." I shoved at his shoulder before ripping the foil off the top of the bottle and twisting the metal that held the cork down.

"Ready?" I asked, grinning broadly. He nodded, smiling at my excitement. Then I pushed the cork out and it popped loudly, and I yelped. He laughed and grabbed the bottle from me before it could spill all over and he filled both of our glasses. Then he handed me one and raised his toward me.

"A toast?" I asked.

"A toast," he said, nodding. "It was six weeks ago today that we kissed for the first time, red." I faltered. He remembered. "Since then, you've been driving me crazy and making me mad and frustrating me to no end."

I arched an eyebrow. "How romantic."

He grinned. "_But_," he said. "You've also been challenging and beguiling me and making me the happiest man on earth. We've got a lot ahead of us, but I'm so ready to face it all with you."

_TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM_, the voice in my head screamed at me. "I… I'm so happy," I breathed. I tipped my champagne back into my mouth and swallowed it all. It burned a bit from the bubbles, but I didn't care. I then threw myself at him and kissed him with everything I had. Needless to say, it took a little while for us to get to those fresh strawberries.

* * *

_Next chapter:_

_Hogwarts has a Halloween dance!_


	32. Halloween

_I am sick with wanting,  
And it's evil how it's got me,  
And everyday is worse than the one before.  
The more I have the more I think:  
I'm almost where I need to be,  
If only I could get a little more._

_A need for something,_  
_Now let me break it down again._  
_A need for something,_  
_But not more medicine.  
_

_Something has me  
__Acting like someone I don't wanna be,  
__Ill with want and poisoned by this ugly greed._

_-The Avett Brothers_

* * *

**Chapter 32**: **Halloween**

"First round, girls!"

I looked over my shoulder and saw Ainsley walking in the room cradling five bottles of firewhiskey in her arms. She grinned at us and handed out bottles to Meg, Lucy, and Harriet before coming over to me and handing me a bottle.

"Wait, wait, before you drink!" she screeched as I put the bottle to my lips. She raised her bottle. "A toast," she said, grinning. "To seventh year—and to this being the best Halloween party we've ever had!" Meg, Harry, and Ainsley cheered while Lucy smiled absently and I just laughed before clanking my bottle against theirs and taking a large swig. It burned going down, but I loved that feeling.

"How did you nick these?" I asked Ainsley before turning back to the mirror.

"You look hot—you don't have to keep primping," Ainsley said first. "Hadley and the other boys have a huge case of this in their dorm."

I rolled my eyes at her reprimand for me looking in the mirror. But I had to admit that I had spent an obsessive amount of time in front of the mirror tonight. My hair was pulled up into a high ponytail and my makeup was extravagant with heavy eyeliner and colors all over my face. As for my outfit, I was wearing a muggle cheerleader's uniform with a skirt that was so short it could hardly be called a skirt, and a top that was at least two sizes too small for me, exposing my cleavage to an obscene extent. I grinned. I also had fake blood splashed across my costume and a fake red gash across my neck.

Albus and I had had couples costumes since our first Halloween party at Hogwarts first year. This year we were going as a dead cheerleader and the football player who killed her. We had had the most amazing time thinking about our back-story for these costumes when we'd first decided to do this. We'd decided that the cheerleader was a slag who'd slept with half the team while she was dating the quarterback, who ended up killing her in a jealous rage. When we'd told Hugo, he'd just rolled his eyes and told us how disturbed we were. We'd roared with laughter.

I was excited about the Halloween party because of our costumes, because it was our last one, and because I knew that Scorpius was going to be chaperoning. I knew I would drive him crazy in this skirt.

I tipped my firewhiskey back and chugged half the bottle.

"Jeez, easy," Ainsley said with a laugh as I looked over at her with a grin and wiped my mouth.

"I plan on getting thoroughly drunk at this thing," I said. "The guys are planning on spiking the punch right?"

"Duh," Ainsley said.

"It's like a seventh year requirement," Meg said, laughing. "Seventh year duties: N.E.W.T.s and spiking the Halloween punch."

The rest of us girls laughed.

Ainsley walked up to where I was standing at the mirror. "You should see Hadley," she whispered. "He looks so hot."

I rolled my eyes. Ainsley was still convinced that Hadley and I were either seeing each other in secret or still secretly in love with each other. She had no idea how wrong she was.

"What's he going as?"

"Werewolf after transformation."

I rolled my eyes again. "So basically he's just wearing a ripped up shirt?"

"And ripped up jeans that are too tight and show off his fine ass."

I arched an eyebrow at her. "Please tell me you don't have a thing for him."

"No way," she said quickly. "After what he did to you and Meg, not a chance, not ever. No offense."

I laughed. "None taken."

"But that doesn't mean I can't admire a fine male specimen when I see one."

I shook my head.

"Anyway I'm into Otto."

Every single person in the room squealed and exclaimed.

"AINSLEY!"

"Daltondale?"

"Oh. My. God."

"Holy shit, Ainsley!"

Ainsley shrugged and smirked.

"But…" Lucy started. "He's such a…"

"Nerd," I finished for her. "He's a nerd."

Ainsley smiled and shrugged again. "I think he's cute."

Otto Daltondale was the headboy of the school. He was pretty cute in a gangly, nerdy way, but he _was_ cute. And I had to give it to her, he was incredibly smart and ridiculously nice. But I don't think I'd ever seen him with a girl _romantically_. I couldn't imagine him wooing Ainsley at all. I just had this image in my head of Ainsley walking up to Otto and telling him he was now her boyfriend. I laughed to myself thinking about how he wouldn't know what to do about it all, and he'd probably end up marrying Ainsley as a result.

She was a catch for him, though. She was a tall, hot blonde who didn't give any guys our age the time of day. She'd dated my cousin James for a few months back when we were fifth years, and she made out with plenty of guys at parties and stuff, but other than that, tons of guys pursued her and she always just brushed them off.

"Finally, someone Ainsley likes," Harriet Bones said.

Ainsley laughed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

I arched an eyebrow at her. "She means that you have only ever given one guy the time of day and it lasted two months before you broke his poor heart."

"I did _not_ break James Potter's heart. He had more girlfriends in his time at Hogwarts than spells exist in the world."

"She's only saying that because she was in love with him," Meg said, digging through her trunk.

Ainsley shrieked. "That is not true!"

I laughed. "Yes it is."

"Why'd you break up with him?" Lucy asked.

"Be—I don't know—because he had too many girls fawning over him, and he didn't pay enough attention to the one girl who—" she cut herself off and her cheeks went adorably red.

"The one girl who… loved him?" I asked with an innocent tilt of my head.

"I have to finish getting ready!" Ainsley said quickly before rushing into the bathroom and slamming the door.

I laughed. "I'm gonna go meet Albus," I said before tipping the rest of my firewhiskey into my mouth, and reaching into my trunk to grab something and shove it in my top so it was concealed. "See you guys at the party?"

We said our goodbyes, and I rushed out of the room. I was giddy as I skipped down to the dungeons. I had to pass Scorpius's quarters in order to get to Slytherin House, so I'd decided before I left Gryffindor that I'd just stop in for a minute.

When I got there, I pressed my palm to the door and it slid open. As soon as I stepped in, I heard Scorpius's shower going, and I smiled. I had hoped he would already be gone or getting ready.

On his bed, there was a black robe with a high collar laying out. He was going as Dracula, like a nerd. I rolled my eyes and reached into my top to pull out what I had retrieved from my trunk before I left. I threw it onto his bed and walked over to his end table to grab out a piece of parchment so I could scribble a note for him before I left.

_Find me later._

_-R_

I threw the note on top of what I'd left him—the pair of red lace panties that he had handed me in potions on a Friday weeks ago after I'd left them in his quarters after a long night with him. And with that, I practically ran from the room.

* * *

"Whoa," Albus said when he greeted me outside Slytherin.

"What?"

He looked me up and down. "You can't wear that."

I frowned. "Why?"

"I can basically see your tits!" Albus snapped. "And that skirt. My god, you might as well just go in your underwear."

I grinned at him. "Aw, look at you, playing the protective older brother role."

He clenched his jaw. "Rose."

"Oh, shut up, Albus, it's fine. Everyone will be dressed like this."

"Yeah, but they don't have your fucking legs and your curves. Jesus, what would Hermione say?"

"She'd kill me," I said, laughing.

He brightened a bit. "Maybe McGonagall won't let you in."

"Al!"

"What's Malfoy gonna do when he sees you like that. You said he gets jealous."

I rolled my eyes. "He'll get over it."

Albus sighed heavily. "Fine," he said. "Let's just go."

Albus and I walked down to the Great Hall together while he glanced at me occasionally and shot glares at whoever even looked in my general direction.

One of Albus's dormmates passed us on the way and he looked back and said, "Damn, Rose." I'd had to grab Albus's arm to stop him from hexing his friend.

The Great Hall looked amazing. There were floating jack-o-lanterns, and as they did every Halloween, most of the ghosts had decided to play along and pretend to be scary, even though no one in their right mind would be scared of Nearly Headless Nick. Cobwebs hung from the walls, and the lights were dim and letting off a purplish glow along with the golden light of the lanterns. As soon as we got there, we walked over to the punch bowl and I watched as Albus poured something from under his sleeve into the bowl.

I looked up at him with a smirk.

"What?" he said. "It's my duty as a seventh year."

I laughed, and we walked over to Fergie, Lucy, and Nate, who were standing off to the side, sipping the unspiked punch.

When we got up to them, I handed Fergie my drink as he leaned in to kiss my cheek.

"Your cousin is so weird," he whispered into my ear before he pulled away and took a large swig. He grimaced and handed it back to me. "Yeah, I'm gonna need more of that if I'm gonna deal with this," he said quietly, jerking his head slightly toward Lucy. I just laughed.

"You get used to her," I said.

He smiled and then looked down at me before raising his eyebrows. "Thank god I'm not straight," he said.

I laughed. "Yeah, Albus isn't too pleased," I said, glancing at my cousin who was talking to Lucy and Nate.

"He's just in a bad mood," Fergie whispered.

I raised my eyebrows at him.

"I won't sleep with him," he said with a shrug. He looked like it didn't bother him, but I saw the way he looked at Albus with longing in his eyes, and it was obvious to me that Fergie's resolution not to have sex with Albus was wearing on him just as much as it was wearing on Al. I watched as Fergie's gaze traveled across Albus's body, which was shown off by his tight jersey over his shoulder pads, and the tight spandex pants that showed off his ass and legs.

"Why?" I asked, snapping Fergie out of his Albus trance.

"Because I don't think he's over Scamander," he said. "And as much as I want him… I'm no one's second choice."

Albus snapped his head to look over his shoulder at us. I jumped at the unexpected movement. "I can hear you, you know," he growled.

Fergie just shrugged and reached for my drink again, and I gladly gave it to him. He needed it more than I did right now.

"Come on," I said to Fergie, grabbing his elbow and leading him over to the punch and snack table. I popped a mini-sausage into my mouth when we got over there, and Fergie smiled weakly at me.

"Thanks," he said. He downed the rest of my drink, and I took my glass from him and turned to fill up two glasses. When I turned back to him, he looked a little better.

"Talk," I said as I handed him his own glass of punch.

He sighed and shook his head. "Rose, you know how I feel about Albus."

I nodded. "You're in love with him."

His eyes widened. "Is it that obvious?"

I smiled. "Not to everyone. I just have a sense about these things."

He sighed again. "Yeah," he said. "I'm in love with him. And I have been for… forever, but… he's always been with Scamander. They play this back and forth game, and I've never been able to put myself in Albus's way until now. I just don't want to do anything to blow it. I can't just sleep with him and give him what he wants so he can go back to Scamander."

"I get that. I really do, but Fergie… I really think he's over Lysander. Or at least he's trying really hard to be. For you."

"I know," Fergie said. "I know that. But…"

"That's not enough."

"How can it be?" he said frantically. "Just _trying_ to be over someone isn't enough when the person you're with is in love with you and has been since he was eleven."

"Fergie," I breathed, a smile spreading across my face. "Is that true?"

He sighed and nodded. "I knew I was gay because I knew I loved him."

"Oh, Fergie. Does he know that?"

"No," Fergie said quietly. "I… He's not serious enough about me for me to tell him something like that. He would just freak."

"I think you'd be surprised," I said. "Look. Sometimes you have to freak someone out in order for them to see what they want. If you think he sees you as some kind of temporary fix, let him know that you are anything but temporary."

He sighed and smiled. "How'd you get so smart?"

I shrugged with a grin. "Believe me, I don't take my own advice."

"Oh, great to know," Fergie said with a laugh.

"Look at you!" I said suddenly. "You are seriously one of the hottest guys in school. You're a sexy pirate. Go show him what he wants and needs."

Fergie just rolled his eyes with a smirk. "I'm definitely going to need more of that punch."

"Yeah," I said, laughing. "Same here." I downed my glass right when I felt someone come up behind me and wrap their arms around me from behind. I thought it was Scorpius and I jumped. _What the hell? Not here!_

"S—hey," I said when I looked over my shoulder and saw Hadley grinning like a fool.

"I'll see you guys later," Fergie said with a smirk. I rolled my eyes. When were people going to stop thinking that Hadley and I were together? "I have a boy to woo."

"See ya," Hadley said with a chuckle. "I still can't believe he's gay," Hadley said once Fergie was out of earshot. I turned around and pulled out of Hadley's arms.

"You're such an idiot," I said good-naturedly.

"I know, I know," he said. Then he changed the subject. "Did you have the punch?"

I raised my empty glass.

"No empty glasses!" Hadley said. I could tell he had already had a lot to drink. It made me laugh. He yanked my glass out of my hand and sloshed some punch into it before handing it back to me. "You look… incredible, by the way."

I scoffed. "I look like a bimbo."

He laughed loudly. "Isn't that the point? Where's your quarterback?"

I shrugged. "Somewhere off being a dick to the guy who loves him."

"We only hurt the ones we love," he said. I looked up at him, and he was looking down at me with this strange look on his face. I punched him in the shoulder.

"You're drunk already," I said.

He laughed so loud that some people looked over. "Nah, I'm just bein' honest. Wanna dance?"

I was caught off guard by the change of subject. "Sure," I said, laughing.

Hadley grabbed my hand and guided me to the dance floor. There were already a few other people dancing, but most of them were younger than us. All of the people our age were off chugging punch.

As soon as we were on the floor, Hadley turned to face me and started shaking his hips like an idiot. I tried to stifle a giggle, but it didn't help. He just looked so ridiculous flailing his arms and wagging his hips like some sort of ghoul. I knew from experience that Hadley was actually a pretty decent dancer, so that just made it even funnier.

Hadley grabbed my hand and yanked me towards him so that he could dip me, and I laughed as he did it. When he let me up, I shoved at his chest with a grin, which made him grin even harder. We were like that for a while, just dancing like fools and enjoying our last Halloween dance. It was weird because it was such an enormous contrast from the last Halloween dance when our break up had still been so fresh. Albus had managed to drag me out and we'd gone as Van Gogh and his ear—a costume that took way longer to create than it should have—but I'd left early, unable to stand being in the Great Hall while Meg and Hadley made out on the dance floor.

It also strangely reminded me of Halloween fifth year, when Hadley and me had been a new couple, and he had thought I was so pretty and fun, and he always told me so. We'd had so much fun that night, and we'd had our first kiss afterwards. Now so much was incredibly different from both those years. It was actually crazy how much things had changed.

Eventually, other Gryffindors came to the floor and started dancing around Hadley and me. I saw my brother and Meg off in a corner, looking into each other's eyes and dancing together, oblivious to the rest of the world. It was adorable. I also saw Fergie and Albus who were near the back of the hall, deep in conversation. Albus looked stressed, and Fergie looked upset. I would probably have to comfort both of them at some point in the night, but for right now, I was just going to enjoy the people around me.

After a few songs, Lysander came up and pulled me away and started dancing with me. He was a great dancer, I already knew. I could tell he wanted to ask me about Fergie and Albus, but surprisingly, he didn't, and we just laughed and joked with each other and enjoyed each other's company.

I knew Scorpius was around—I could sense him—but I hadn't seen him yet. The teachers often patrolled the corridors during the dance to make sure there was no funny business (even though they couldn't stop it if they tried), so I was sure he kept coming in and out of the hall. I was also swept in with my friends. I was just so giddy and happy that everything was back to normal and that my life was so fucking perfect that I was caught up in all of it—the costumes, the music, the food and drink, the decorations—it was all making me distracted, which was probably a good thing because I was significantly buzzed and if I saw Scorpius, there was a good chance I wouldn't be able to control myself.

I danced with Ainsley for a while, and some other people from my house and around the school, but it wasn't too long before I ended up back with Hadley. By this point, I'd had several glasses of punch, but I knew he'd had far more than I had, and it was pretty obvious.

"You're drunk," I yelled at him over the music.

"Drunk on you," he said before wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me close. I laughed at first, but then I looked up at his face and saw that he wasn't laughing and his eyes were serious.

"Hadley," I said, frowning and pushing away from him. He just sighed and let me go, but then the music changed to a slow song, and people started to couple up. He smiled at me.

"Dance with me."

"I don't think…"

"No funny business," he said with a grin, holding up his hands in mock surrender. "I swear."

I was still wary, but I felt like he understood that nothing was going to happen between us. Surely he knew that we were over and everything was much better when we were friends.

I thought he understood, so when he pulled me close and slowly slid his hands around my waist, I tried not to read too much into it. It was harmless—two friends (who happened to be exes) dancing—it was normal, fine. When I put my hands around his neck and saw him blink slowly as if he was savoring it, there was nothing to be worried about. It was natural for him to still have some feelings for me, but we were obviously just friends. Wasn't it obvious?

I stared at his chest, afraid that if I looked up he'd be looking at me with some sort of strange look on his face like the one he'd had earlier.

"Hey," he said. I was forced to look up. He was smiling down at me. "See," he said. "I can be a gentleman."

I laughed—a bit of a nervous laugh. "You wish."

He laughed back. "Oh, come on! I—"

"Can I cut in?"

I looked up and saw my cousin looking at both of us with a strange look of his own.

"Oh," Hadley said. "Oh, yeah. Totally, of course." Hadley was still nervous around Albus after the whole I-beat-the-shit-out-of-you-on-the-grounds-because- you-nearly-raped-my-best-friend fiasco.

Albus pulled me close when Hadley walked away, and he whispered in my ear. "There is a very jealous looking Scorpius Malfoy over your shoulder," he said. "Don't look."

My stomach churned. _Shit_. I knew he hated me being with Hadley, and I knew he hated that he couldn't be on this dance floor holding me the way Hadley had. He was probably standing over there fuming.

"Is he looking over here now?" I asked Albus. Albus was looking at me, but I could tell he could see Malfoy in his periphery.

"Yes."

"Does he look mad?"

"Furious."

"Fuck."

"Yeah. He's also had quite a bit of that punch."

_Fuck._ "What do I do?"

"Honestly, I think you should drag him into a broom closet for a few minutes and snog his brains out, and then come back to the party before anyone notices."

I grinned up at Albus. "It's always so simple with you, isn't it?"

He shook his head with a sigh. "If only it was that easy with Fergie."

"Goddammit, Albus," I said, slapping his chest as he reminded me of earlier in the night. "You are breaking his heart."

"He told me he was in love with me," Albus said quietly.

My eyes widened. "What did you say?"

Albus broke into a grin. "I told him I loved him back."

My eyes widened even further. "Really?" I breathed with a smile.

He nodded. "Well, it took me a bit to get there—we argued a bit—but I just… I am, Rose. God, I want to be with him so much. He's perfect."

"Al!" I squealed and hugged him tightly. "What the hell are you doing with me then?"

"Protecting you from Underwood's bullshit and Malfoy's anger," Al said with a short laugh.

"I should go to him," I said, pulling away from Albus slightly.

"I don't think it helps that you're dressed like that."

I smirked. "Good. I want him wound up for me."

"Just go," Albus said, shaking his head before he pushed me away.

I smiled, and then I glanced over my shoulder and gasped when I found Malfoy staring daggers at me. I jerked my head toward an area of the hall that was covered by the house hangings, and I walked toward it, hoping that he would know what to do and follow me.

I walked quickly, and glanced over my shoulder to make sure that no one was looking in my direction. I found that everyone was too occupied with themselves to bother paying attention to me. I darted behind the large hanging for Hufflepuff house, where there was about a two or three feet between it and the wall, and gasped audibly when Malfoy was right in front of me.

"Scor—"

I was cut off then his mouth smashed against mine. I sighed and gripped his hips, opening my mouth to the kiss and feeling his tongue glide smoothly against mine, as his hands dove into my hair and gripped me tightly, guiding my face where he wanted. I could smell and taste the firewhiskey, mixed with whatever the seventh years had poured into the punch. He was drunk.

Suddenly, Scorpius gripped my shoulders and growled as he turned me and slammed me against the wall. My mouth broke away from his and his mouth attached to my neck for just a brief second before it found my mouth again. Then I gasped again as I was lifted against the wall and I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck.

"Scorpius," I breathed when his mouth moved to my neck. I squeaked when his teeth sank into my neck.

The music being played in the hall was loud enough so that no one would hear us, but I bit my lip and tried to withhold the sounds I desperately wanted to release anyway.

Vaguely, I registered the song at the dance changing to a popular muggle song. I became a bit more aware of the music when Scorpius dropped me and turned me around so that my back was pressed to his front. I could feel him hard against the small of my back, and I tried to ignore it. If I focused on that, I would drag him out of the hall and abandon all my friends. But he made it hard to ignore it when his hands slid to my front and gripped my thighs, grinding against me in time with the music.

My head fell back onto his chest and my hands went up so I could brace myself against the wall. When his mouth found my neck, my head fell forward a bit and I tilted my head to the side to give him access as I released a breathy moan.

God, I could get used to this—being grinded into a wall by my sexy as hell boyfriend with the beat of the loud music that was reverberating through me. My body was on fire. But wasn't it always when I was with Scorpius?

I grinded against him, and I heard him hiss.

"Do you like dancing with me?" he growled into my ear.

"Yes," I breathed, grinding harder, trying to create any and all friction that I could. I could feel that sweet heat of desire between my legs. It was spurred on by the fact that both of us wanted each other so badly that we didn't care that there was a room full of people just a curtain away that had no idea what was going on between us.

"Do you like my hands on you?" he asked as one hand slid up my stomach and underneath the top of my costume and the other slid around to grip my inner thigh. I gasped and bucked a bit. If he moved his hand up just a bit more, he'd be touching me, and that was all I wanted. It was all I ever wanted. "Why didn't you tell me this was your costume?" he asked, without letting me answer his previous question. I could hardly speak anyway.

"To—I wanted to surprise you," I said, my voice breathy. "Scorpius…" How could I tell him that I wanted him to take me out of here and fuck me senseless?

"Quite a surprise," he growled. His hot breath on my ear was driving me absolutely insane. His hands slid to grip my breasts tightly and I arched, pressing them further into his hands.

"Scorpius, I—"

"That boy couldn't keep his eyes off you."

"What?"

"Seemed like you liked his attention."

I tried to turn my head. "Scorpius—what—?"

"Did you?" he grinded hard against me and then grabbed my hips to turn me around to face him. He looked livid, and my stomach suddenly churned with anxiety. "Did you like him looking at you?"

I was scared of the look in his eyes—I hadn't ever seen him like that. "Scorpius," I tried, squirming a bit under his gaze. "You're drunk." He had brought his hands up to lay flat against the wall behind me. He had me caged in and I knew he was pissed, but I couldn't resist touching him. My hands slid up his chest, and I reveled in the fact that he blinked slowly in response.

"Why were you dancing with him? You know I get jealous."

"I know," I admitted. "But we're just friends."

He clenched his jaw and I heard an audible growl come from his throat. "My arse," he said. "He wants you."

"I don't care. You know I don't."

"I do!" he said loudly, shoving a hard finger into his chest. "I fucking care."

"You shouldn't," I protested. "You know I feel about you."

"Do I?"

My eyes widened in shock. How could he _possibly_ question how I felt about him? "You should. I don't—"

"You come here, dressed like that, and dance with your ex. What am I supposed to think?"

"You're supposed to think about the fact that your cock was inside me less than 24 hours ago," I snapped, reminding him of the night we'd spent together just the night previous.

I saw a muscle twitch in his jaw.

"Why are you acting like this, Scorpius?" I asked him, softening a bit and letting my fingers move against his chest, watching them before looking back up at him. His eyes were blazing.

"I'm not acting like anything. I—"

"I know you get jealous, but you have _nothing_ to be jealous over. But I have to be able to have friends."

"Have all the friends you want. I'm asking you not to have just one. I don't fucking like you spending time with him, Rose!" he nearly shouted, pushing off from the wall and turning away from me, one hand on his hip and the other in his hair. I reached out to touch his shoulder, and when he jerked away from my touch, I yanked my hand back like I had been burned.

"Scorpius—"

"He wants you, Rose," he said, rounding on me. We were lucky the music was loud enough to stifle our conversation.

"And I want you!" I said loudly. "You know that—don't be stupid."

"That boy wants you, and who's to say he's not going to try and _take_ what he wants. It wouldn't be the first time he's tried!"

"Goddammit, Scorpius, why are you doing this? You're picking a fight for no fucking reason."

"No reason?" he said, taking a step closer. I took a step back. "Look at you."

"Fuck you, Scorpius. It's just a costume. I thought you'd like it. I don't know why—"

"Of course I fucking like it. But so does every other fucking prick in this school. You knew I wouldn't be the only one looking at you."

I sighed and shook my head, exhausted by this conversation. "You're drunk," I said, turning away. He grabbed my elbow and yanked me back to face him.

"We aren't done here."

I wrenched my elbow from his grip. "Yes. We are. I'm not going to stand here and let you insult me and act like a drunk idiot. If I wanted that, I would have just dated one of my fucking classmates."

"I have no choice but to get drunk when I see my fucking girlfriend out there—"

"OH MY GOD," I exclaimed, throwing up my hands. "Who cares who I dance with? Who cares how I'm dressed? _You_ are the one I want, and if you can't fucking see that… I mean, what—why are you _acting_ like this?" I was genuinely so confused. Of course he knew I didn't want Hadley. Of course he knew he was the only one I wanted. But here he was, standing there, yelling at me behind the house hangings as if I had made out with Hadley on the dance floor. Why was he drunk? Why was he so upset over nothing? I had danced with at least a foot between Hadley and I the entire time. It was a dance between friends. Surely he saw that. And didn't he understand that I needed to have friends? I had been alone for over a year, and now that I had him, I could be myself again. And I wanted that.

"You're acting like I have no reason to be pissed."

"You don't!"

"You can't possibly be that naïve! Honestly, you can't possibly think that Underwood doesn't want you—that every fucking guy in there wasn't looking at your tits and your ass—"

"But your eyes on me are the only ones I fucking care about. _You_ can't be naïve enough not to see _that_! I don't understand why you're doing this. Explain it to me. Explain why you are standing here yelling in my face about my fucking Halloween costume instead of taking me back to your quarters and fucking me. Explain to me why you're worried about Hadley when you _know_ there's no one else I want. Explain to me why you're fucking _drunk_ while you're supposed to be chaperoning this dance. Explain that to me, Scorpius!"

"You want me to explain?" he growled, taking an angry step forward. This time I held my ground.

"Yeah, fucking explain, Scorpius. Because I don't fucking get it. I don't get why you're being like this. I know you're jealous, but you're just acting stupid. I feel like there's something I'm not getting because when a person is jealous, there's usually a fucking reason to be jealous. After everything you know about me and my relationship with Hadley, you know for a fact that I don't want him. There—I mean, god, you could be more jealous of Albus or Hugo—that's how absurd it is that you're jealous of Hadley." I was rambling, and I knew that, but I just couldn't stop it. I'd had a lot to drink, too, and everything was just spilling out. He was just clearly angry. Huffing and running his hands through his hair and occasionally pacing back and forth as I spoke. "You know, and it amazes me that you act like you don't—that you don't know. I'm assuming that's because you're drunk and your brain is fucking scrambled," I said, my arms flailing. "But you can't seriously believe what you're saying. So explain it—"

"Explain—"

"Yeah, fucking explain! Tell me why you're acting like such a prick! Tell me—"

"Because I'm fucking in love with you!"

A chill ran through me, and I froze.

"What?"

"Yeah, whatever, I'm fucking in love with you, and I lose my head with you because—"

"Are you serious?"

He ran his hands through his hair. He looked less angry and much more shaken than he had a moment ago. "Of course I'm serious."

"You can't be serious," I said, taking a step back. "You can't be seriously telling me you love me like… like this. Here. Now. This has to be a joke."

I was horrified. I had to have daydreamed about Scorpius confessing his love for me dozens of times over the past several weeks. I had imagined too many scenarios to count, each of them more intricate and outlandish than the last. I had imagined it going in millions of different ways—after we made love, during a date that he had planned for us, underneath the stars—anything I could think of. I had, however, never imagined that he would be telling me behind the house hangings at the Halloween dance after we'd just fought drunkenly.

"Rose—"

"Fuck you, Scorpius." He took a step forward, but I moved and shoved him hard. He stumbled a bit, which showed me how drunk he was. He was so solid he would have never even budged normally. "Fuck you for ruining this—ruining—" My voice caught. Everything was ruined. Now I would always remember the first time Scorpius told me he loved me wasn't with flowers and kisses, but with drunk slurs and angry shouts and music blaring in the background.

"You wanted me to explain—"

"I didn't think that would be your explanation!" I said, backing away from him as much as I could. "My god, you really are a prick."

"Rose—"

"Go to hell, Scorpius," I said angrily before I turned and stormed away.

As soon as I was out from behind the hangings where he wouldn't be able to come after me without risking exposure, I felt the tears come, and I rushed from the Great Hall without looking back.

* * *

_Next chapter:_

_"Rose, he loves you, and if you're scared of what that means, that's okay. But if you're scared because you think he's going to hurt you like Hadley did, you are stupid and blind."_


	33. If This Isn't Love

_A/N: Hello! I love you ALL, thank you so much for reading and reviewing this story. Please keep letting me know what you think!_

* * *

_There's a pleasure we must all feel,  
__And it's a pleasure I know  
__Of losing your heart,  
__And then letting love grow._

_What can I say that is simpler  
__Than "now is all there is"?  
__And that you're free to be any person  
__And you're all that you give._

'_Cause my bones were made in the womb  
__And they're the grains I'll leave in my tomb  
__And every piece will be consumed  
__By the love my heart endured…_

_So if you trust what's in your heart,  
__What better can you do  
__Than if you do what you do?  
__Yeah, you'll do fine._

_-Noah and the Whale_

* * *

**Chapter 33**: **If This Isn't Love**

My head was pounding when I woke up the next morning.

I smacked my lips together, trying to get some moisture to my ridiculously dry mouth as I blinked my eyes open. As soon as they were open, I slammed them shut again. The sun was blaring in through the window next to my four-poster. In my drunk rage and through my angry tears as I'd thrown myself onto my bed late last night, I hadn't thought to close the curtains and now I was paying the price.

Faintly, I heard the water running in the bathroom and assumed that one of my dormmates was in the shower. I sighed and slowly opened my eyes again, squinting against the light and turning over in my bed to get away from it. That was when everything from last night hit me like a ton of bricks.

After Scorpius had told me he loved me in the worst way he possibly could, I'd fled back to Gryffindor. He hadn't followed even though I thought he would at first. I hoped he would. I hoped that he would follow me and tell me how sorry he was for ruining my night, ruining what we had, and ruining the memory I would have for the rest of my life. I felt nauseated. How could he? How could he get drunk at the Halloween dance and yell at me about fucking Hadley and then tell me that he loves me? Surely he knew how fucked up that was.

But I loved him. I had been madly in love with him for weeks, and now I knew that he loved me. Scorpius Malfoy loved me. He was insanely jealous—albeit for no reason—and he'd gotten drunk and he loved me. We'd had our first kiss only a little over two months ago. He'd hardly been my boyfriend for anytime at all. But I loved him. I wanted him constantly, and all I'd wanted for the past several weeks was for him to tell me that he loved me. And he had.

My love for him had consumed me. When he looked at me, when he touched me, when he kissed me, all I could think was how much I loved him. When I sat in class, when I studied in the library, when I laid in my bed late at night, all I could think was how much I loved him. And I wanted to tell him, but I wanted to tell him in the right way, at the right time. I wanted to tell him, and I wanted him to tell me, but I had been so afraid of what would happen after. I was afraid that if I told him and he didn't feel the same I would ruin everything and he would run for the hills. I was afraid that he didn't love me. But he did.

My stomach churned painfully, and immediately I ran to the bathroom, not caring that one of my dormmates was in there. I burst through the door and ran to the toilet and fell to the floor so I could expel all the contents from my stomach.

"Rose?"

"Hey," I said after the shower turned off. I looked up at Meg, who was standing in the shower wrapped in a towel. "Sorry."

She smiled. "It's okay. I think we all had a rough night." She raised her eyebrows slightly as she glanced at me on the floor in front of the toilet still in my cheerleader costume.

I returned a weak smile. "I saw you with Hugo. You two looked like you were having fun."

Her cheeks pinked a bit. "Yeah." Then she studied me. "You and Hadley?"

I shook my head and reached up to flush the toilet before standing shakily and walking over the sink. "Just friends. Trust me."

"Good," she said, coming to stand next to me and looking at me through the mirror. "I was afraid I would have to have an intervention."

"Don't worry," I said with a faint smile. I grabbed my toothbrush and brushed the taste of my vomit from my mouth. My stomach was still churning painfully, and I felt like it had more to do with everything that had happened with Malfoy than it had to do with drinking the night before.

When I was finished—without another word to Meg—I walked back into the dormitory and walked to my four-poster. Briefly, I was aware that Lucy and Ainsley weren't in their beds. Harry was still sleeping soundly. I went to my four-poster and climbed back in, pulling the curtains around me while casting some privacy charms. I had class in about a half hour, but I didn't want to deal with it. I couldn't go. I just wanted to lay in my bed and sleep. I didn't want to think about class or Scorpius or the fact that we would have to talk about all this later. I didn't want to think about Hadley being in love with me. I just wanted to sleep.

So I did.

* * *

"Hey."

Albus jumped in his seat and swiveled to look at me.

"Geez."

I smiled. "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

He just shook his head. "Nah, I think I'm just jumpy. I didn't see you this morning—I didn't see you after you went to talk to Malfoy last night either." He raised his eyebrows suggestively. "Did you get lucky?"

I sighed. "I wish."

Albus frowned. "What happened?"

We only had about ten minutes before Flitwick came in, so I told him everything that happened the night before in the quickest, quietest, and most condensed way possible. By the time I was finished, Albus was frowning so hard that I joked that his face might get stuck that way. His face softened and he laughed.

"Sorry," he said as his frown slowly began to form again. "I'm just confused."

"Yeah," I said, turning and pulling stuff out of my bag. "You and me both."

"Was he drunk?"

"Without a doubt."

"Was he seriously jealous over Hadley?"

I shook my head as I spread my things out on desk in front of me. "I don't know, but the more I thought about it, I realized that that really couldn't have been it. I—"

"He said he loved you."

I glanced up at Albus and he looked incredulous. "I know. That's why I think it wasn't just about Hadley. I mean, he got drunk and picked a fight and then told me he loved me. And you should have seen his face when he said it—"

"He was freaked?"

"Completely."

"Did you skip your first class?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I just—I needed to sleep and think, and I thought about last night, and that's the conclusion I came to. He's freaked because he loves me, and…" I trailed off as an overwhelming feeling of warmth came over me and settled right in the middle of my chest. I smiled, and I realized it was the first time I had really let it sink in—the first time I had really embraced the words since last night. I mean, I had thought about them over and over. I hadn't stopped thinking about them. But in this moment while I was talking to Albus, I realized… Scorpius _loved_ me. After everything that had happened and after all the apparent odds stacked against us, Scorpius Malfoy was in love with me. And he was freaking out, and I understood that, but he _loved_ me.

"It's hitting you, isn't it?"

"Yeah," I said, unable to stop grinning.

"The man is smitten with you," Albus said with a smirk. "He hardly knows you and you've been seeing each other for only a few months, and he's in love with you. And you're a menace—you're mean and unbearable and sarcastic and you say words that no one would or should ever use in polite company." I let out a short burst of laughter as he spoke. "No wonder the man is freaking out—he's in love with a monster."

I made a noise of protest and punched Albus in the arm. "Fuck off—"

"Case and point," he said with raised eyebrows. I rolled my eyes at him. "But seriously, Rose, being in love freaks people out."

I smiled and nudged him with my shoulder. "You would know," I said, remembering what Albus told me the night before. I watched as Albus tried to control the smile that was trying to break across his face, but it was a losing battle.

Albus looked across the room to where Fergie was sitting with the other Gryffindor seventh year men. "Just look at him," Al said dreamily. "How can I not be in love with him?"

As if sensing us, Fergie looked over his shoulder and grinned at Albus. My cousin had a point. I couldn't help but admire Fergie's figure from afar—he was a fine specimen.

Albus snapped himself out of his reverie. "But I was freaked, too, Rose. But now… Knowing that I'm in love with the perfect man and that he loves me back, that makes it a hell of a lot easier."

"Tell that to Scorpius, not me."

"I can tell you're freaked, too," he said.

I frowned and looked at him.

"Don't give me that look," Al said. "You wouldn't be so pissed at him if you weren't equally freaked about the whole thing. You're in love with him, right?"

I opened my mouth and closed it a few times. "Yes," I said finally. It was the first time I had admitted it out loud and it felt like a huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders. "Yes, I love him."

"You didn't say it back last night, though, did you?"

I gaped. "That has nothing to do with it! I'm not going to tell him I love him while I'm drunk at a Halloween dance!"

"Fair enough," Albus allowed. "But I think the reason you got so exceptionally upset is because you're just as scared as he is. You—"

"Of course I'm scared," I snapped. "Need I remind you of the last time I was in love?"

Albus rolled his eyes. "Stop," he said. "Malfoy is nothing like Hadley and you know it. This situation is completely different."

"Yeah it's different because I already fucked Malfoy," I said bitterly.

"Rose, stop, I'm serious," Albus said sternly. "Now, if you ask me, Malfoy has been in love with you since the night of the concert, he's just been too afraid to admit it. He wanted to let you wait to sleep with him, but you insisted, and a man can only resist so much. He cares about you and loves you. He held you in his arms the night of that concert when he felt bad for not letting you go. He carried you off into his quarters after Hadley tried to force himself on you. He came to see you in secret at the hospital when your father was there _even_ _though_ he was still pissed about that letter." Albus was ticking off his fingers with each thing he named. "He practically made out with me in class after I beat up Hadley." I laughed a bit. "He asked you to be his girlfriend, and he took you on an adorable secret date to Hogsmeade even though he's risking his job if anyone found out about either. He's so distraught and jealous of a guy you _clearly_ don't have feelings for because he's so desperate to hold onto you. Rose, he loves you, and if you're scared of what that means, that's okay. But if you're scared because you think he's going to hurt you like Hadley did, you are stupid and blind."

"Al—"

His words were hitting me like a ton of bricks, but I couldn't do anything about it. Flitwick had just walked in, and the class was falling silent. With one final stern look at me, Albus turned in his chair and faced the front of the classroom.

Why was it that Albus could see and I couldn't? He was completely right. I was afraid. I was terrified. I liked who I was now that I was with Scorpius, and I didn't want to go back to being the girl I was pre, during, or immediately post Hadley. I was terrified that if I let my guard down, and Scorpius and I fell in love with each other, that everything would change. Because we couldn't possibly be happy. Soon he would wake up from whatever odd spell he was under, and he would see that he could do better—that I wasn't worth everything that he was risking—and then it would all be over, and I would have to turn into a person that I didn't want to be.

I tried not to think about it for the rest of class. Hadley glanced back at me a few times during class and smiled, and it took all my power to smile back at him. I knew this wasn't his fault, but how was it that even after everything between the two of us was over, he was still controlling my life?

I hardly took any notes in class. I was far too distracted by my own stupid brain. The distraction only worsened when I felt my bag vibrate at my feet. My heart leapt, and I reached down to pull out the parchment that Scorpius had charmed so we could send messages to each other.

I unrolled it under the table and glanced down at it.

_Didn't see you at breakfast. You okay? I'm sorry about last night._

I glanced over at Albus, but he was writing and listening intently to Flitwick. I grabbed my quill and scribbled a quick response.

_**I'm fine. Everything's fine**_**.**

He wrote back quickly and I could tell that he was upset—his handwriting was messy like his hand was shaking and he was writing in a hurry.

_Can I see you on your break? We need to talk._

I couldn't. I wasn't ready yet. I just needed to think. And I couldn't think if I was looking at him and his body and face and fucking presence had me wound so tightly and craving every inch of him.

_**Can't. Busy. Sorry**_**.**

I rolled up the parchment and moved to put it away, but I felt it vibrate again. I unrolled it discreetly.

_I know you're mad. I'm sorry, Rose._

I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. Then I opened them, rolled up the parchment and shoved it into my bag. I would just have to think about this later.

After class, Fergie came over and started being cute and flirting with Albus, and it made me absurdly happy. I asked if they were going to lunch, but they just giggled and said they had something to do down in Slytherin. I rolled my eyes before they hurried away like two giddy schoolgirls.

I felt my bag vibrate as soon as they left the classroom, and I pulled out the parchment.

_Talk to me, baby._ A moment later, the text disappeared and a new text formed there. _I want to talk about what happened. I'm so sorry._ And then—_Please don't hate me_. Bitterly, I couldn't help but think that he deserved this. Now he would get a taste of what I felt after he refused to talk to me after I told him about the letter. Now he would understand the pain of sitting outside your boyfriend's office and weeping on the floor while he shut his light off and just walked away.

"Rose?"

I jolted and looked up and saw Hadley standing in front of me—his light brown hair tousled—and I shoved the parchment in my bag before looking up at him with a tight smile.

"Hey," I said, before putting the rest of the stuff into my bag and slinging it over my shoulder. I felt the vibration again but this time I ignored it.

"I didn't see you later at the dance," he said as I moved to walk out of the classroom. He fell into step next to me.

"Yeah, got tired," I said, walking quickly. I needed to get somewhere private before I started doing something stupid. Like crying.

"Are you okay? You seem upset."

"Yeah, yeah, fine, just in a hurry."

"Are you going to the Great Hall? I'll go with you."

The hopefulness in his voice made me want to smack him. Maybe Scorpius was right. Maybe Hadley was in love with me. But I was still right—I didn't care who Hadley was in love with.

"No, sorry, I have to go to the library, I'm really behind."

"Rose—" He grabbed my elbow and turned me around. I crossed my arms and stared at him. He frowned. "Did I do something—?"

"Jesus Christ, Hadley, not everything is about you," I snapped before I could stop myself. He looked hurt, and that only made me angrier. "I'm just in a hurry. Sorry." Although I didn't feel or sound sorry at all.

"Did you not have fun last night?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, I had fun with you, but I didn't get enough work done so now I need to focus on that. Look, I have to go." And with that, I turned and walked away from him. Lucky for both of us, he didn't come after me.

* * *

By the time I had gotten settled in the library, I had three more messages from Scorpius apologizing and asking me to talk to him. I ignored his messages, but what annoyed me most was that no matter what I did, I couldn't stop thinking about him.

I was trying not to think about last night, and I was succeeding at that. But it was like my brain wouldn't allow me to just have no thoughts about him, so instead, my brain was bombarded with images. I couldn't stop thinking about our afternoon in the Shrieking Shack—how after we'd eaten in a highly sexually charged, near-silence, he had slowly undressed me until I was completely naked and he remained fully clothed. And how he had pressed me back onto the blanket until I was flat on my back and my knees were bent up, and his head had dipped between my legs.

As I sat in the library, my body heated up as I remembered how hot he had made me—the heat of that beam of sun warming me along with what he was doing to me. We had made love so sweetly that entire afternoon, and I remembered how quiet we were—the only sound our heavy breathing. I think he went slow so that I would be quiet and no one who happened to be around would hear us, but it was like the silence made everything more intense.

I crossed my legs—trying to relieve the pressure between them—and I tried to free my mind of the memory of us that afternoon. So, of course, my traitorous brain replaced it with the image of us yesterday morning before potions, and him fucking me hard, bent over his desk—both of us nearly fully clothed and only exposed enough so that he could be inside me—and then a few minutes later, him teaching the class and me taking notes as if nothing had happened.

I sighed and pressed my thighs together. I couldn't hold out much longer. I needed to see him, but I also wanted to punish him. I wanted to punish him because I wanted him to know what it felt like to be ignored, and I wanted him to know that it wasn't okay for him to be stupid about stupid things. And I wanted him to know that it wasn't fair that he had said he loved me like that.

As if on cue, I felt my bag vibrate, and I pulled out the charmed parchment.

_Where are you?_

_SITTING IN THE LIBRARY THINKING ABOUT HAVING YOUR COCK INSIDE ME,_ I screamed in my head. I took a deep breath. _Relax_.

_**Library. **_

_Can I come see you?_

_**I don't think that's a good idea.**_

I wasn't in my normal, secluded spot. There were a lot of other people around, and it would be weird if Scorpius came here just to talk to me. People would definitely think that was suspicious.

_Will you come see me then?_

I couldn't go to his quarters. If I went to his quarters I would just fuck him, and if I fucked him I would forgive him for everything and we would never talk out the underlying issues, and then nothing would be better.

But I had to see him. I couldn't just ignore him forever—as much as I wanted to teach him a lesson. I wanted him too much. I just liked being around him. I wanted him to put his arms around me and hold me. I wanted to feel the warmth of his hand in mine while we sat in his common area on his couch and just talked. I wanted to bury my face in his chest and smell him. He always smelled heavenly.

_**Where are you?**_

_My quarters._

_**I can't meet you there.**_

It took him a bit longer to respond. I thought he was probably trying to consider what kind of tone I was using. Was I angry or was I just stating simply that I couldn't meet him there. Was it that I couldn't or that I wouldn't? Well, if he was thinking it was either of those, he was thinking incorrectly. It wasn't that I couldn't or wouldn't. It was that I shouldn't.

_Okay. Then where?_

I had no idea where it would be so secluded that no one would see us, but also not so secluded that I would risk sleeping with him. I closed my eyes for a moment as I thought.

_**Will you meet me in the astronomy tower?**_

He replied quickly.

_Of course, baby. When?_

It annoyed me that my heart hurt when he called me "baby."

_**Now.**_

_Okay, I'll leave now. I can't wait to see you._

I was just going to reply with something short and snarky. _"See ya" _or _"Okay."_ But I was already being cruel enough. I wanted to get my point across, but I didn't want him to think I hated him.

_**Me, too. See you soon.**_

* * *

"Rose."

As soon as I whipped around to face him, I forgave him.

He loved me. I loved him. I wanted him more than I had ever wanted anything in my entire life. He had become my entire world in such a short time, and I didn't know if he understood. I didn't know if he understood what the weight of his words meant to me. I wanted him to understand.

Scorpius opened his mouth, and I held up a hand.

"I have some things I want to say first. So just… Okay?"

He nodded and turned so he could seal the door that led to the top of the tower. The stars were shining brightly above us, and under any other circumstances, it would have been romantic.

"I just want you to understand why I was upset." He looked like he wanted to say something, but he respected my initial request and stayed silent. "What you did… What you said. It wasn't fair. It's just…" I sighed. "I wanted you to say it. I imagined how you would say it for so long, and then—god, Scorpius, I _know_ you get jealous. I know that, and mostly I'm okay with it. But Hadley? Really, Scorpius? It makes absolutely no sense for you to be jealous over him."

"That's the point of jealousy, Rose," he said, clearly unable to keep silent. I guess I shouldn't have expected him to—not when we were talking about something like this. "It's irrational."

"I understand that. But there has to be some _rational_ part of your brain that understands that your jealousy of him is _completely_ unfounded."

"Is it?" he said, running a hand through his sexy blonde hair. I blinked slowly, trying to cool my traitorous thoughts. "You were his girlfriend for a year. You were just his girlfriend a few weeks ago."

I rolled my eyes. "You know that meant nothing."

He shook his head. "It didn't mean nothing." I opened my mouth to protest but he held up a hand. "You may have been doing it to get back at him and you may not have felt something romantically toward him, but it didn't mean nothing. If it had meant nothing, you would have never done it."

I opened my mouth and then closed it. He had a point, and it was a point I had never considered. I had never considered it from his perspective. In my head, everything with Hadley was pretty simple: I wanted to make him fall in love with me and then break his heart like he'd done to me. From Scorpius's perspective, I was still hung up on the relationship that had ended a year ago so much so that I was trying different kinds of plans and schemes to get revenge.

"You see now," he said quietly. "You see how I feel."

"Yes," I said. "I do. And I'm sorry I made you feel that way."

He sighed. "You don't have to apologize."

"I know I don't have to, but I want to. I want you to know that I understand where you're coming from, and I'm sorry that I gave you any inkling of doubt. Because you have no clue how deep my feelings for you are. You have no idea how much my feelings for Hadley never even came close to comparing to how I feel for you. Here. Now. You don't know that I would imagine you telling me you loved me—that I hoped for it for weeks—and then that was how it happened."

"Rose—"

"Scorpius—"

"I need to talk now, Rose."

I stared at him long and hard for a moment. "Okay."

He sighed and ran a hand through is hair. "I fucked up last night," he said. "I… Okay, let me explain, okay?"

I nodded, too tense to respond—too desperate to hear what he had to say.

"I realized I was in love with you a few weeks ago."

My breath caught in my chest, and my heart rate sped up.

Scorpius started to pace in front of me. "It freaked me out because—you know—we've only been seeing each other a month or so. I shouldn't be in love with you when we've only known each other for two months. I shouldn't be in love with you so soon, but I am, and there's nothing I can do about it, and I got freaked out."

It took all my power not to run up to him, throw my arms around his neck, and kiss him senseless. I took a deep, shaky breath.

"Rose, you have to understand. The last time I was—well, I thought I was in love—I had my heart broken. It was—well, it was part of the reason why I went to Germany. I was trying to escape."

"Would you… will you tell me about it?"

Scorpius sighed and continued to pace slowly, one hand on his hip and the other waving in front of him and occasionally running through the hair that I so loved running my own fingers through.

"There was a girl back at Hogwarts—back when I was a student here. We dated for two years. I thought I was in love with her. I didn't really know what love was then, though, you know, and looking back, I don't really think I loved her. But she was there, and she loved me. Until she didn't. Rose…" He stopped pacing and looked at me before he sighed and went on. "There's a lot you don't know about me—about who I used to be. I was… Cold. I was cold and serious and all I cared about was Quidditch. Marie—my ex-girlfriend—she was warm. For a Slytherin at least. She came from a good family, and she was sweet and kind and warm. When you're like that, there's only so much of a cold, arrogant prick that you can take. And when my obsession with winning the final got the best of me, she ended it. I don't blame her. I never loved her truly, and I never showed her that I did anyway, and I was… I wasn't the man that I am with you, Rose.

"With you… Well, so," he went back to the subject at hand, "I was devastated when she ended it. Not really because I loved her and wanted her back but because I had lost something that was _mine_, and I was selfish and self-centered. I had never had anything taken from me in my life. I was distracted during the Quidditch match when I saw her in the stands with another guy a few weeks later. That moment of distraction cost me the Cup and my spot on the Cannons. So, my dad sent me to Germany."

"You were running?"

He nodded. "I was running. And it was good for me. But the point is that I've never felt like this, and I was terrified, and I'm constantly afraid that I'm going to lose you. I mean, the odds aren't in our favor, are they?"

I smiled weakly. "Not really."

"I'm afraid of every little thing that could make me lose you. I'm your teacher. Hadley. The fact that I love you and it's too soon—that I'll scare you off. So I freaked, and I got drunk, and I lost my head, and I said I loved you. I shouldn't have said it, Rose—not like that. But… but baby, I meant it."

I didn't know what to say.

All I knew was that I had been naked with Scorpius dozens of times in the last month. I had seen him in all his beautiful glory and he had seen me. But in this moment, I felt that neither one of us had ever been more exposed.

"I—"

"You don't have to say it back yet. I know you're still upset, but Rose." He looked at me hard and took a step forward. "I know you love me, too."

I could feel my hands trembling. "Scorpius—"

"You said it. One night a few weeks ago you were falling asleep and you said it."

"Well, I—" _Shit._

"But you don't have to say it if you're not ready," he said, and I knew he meant it. I could see in his eyes that he was sincere. "Do you see?" he asked, changing the topic back. "Do you see why I got so crazy?"

I nodded with a forced smile. "I do."

I loved him. Of course I loved him—I had loved him for weeks. I had loved him probably even before I had actually admitted it to myself. He was perfect in every way. How could I not love him? But he loved me, and now I knew it, and I knew why he had done what he did. We understood each other on a level we never had before, and I loved him.

But for some reason I just couldn't bring myself to say the words. Was I still mad at him for how he'd said it to me? Or was I just afraid?

"But let me explain why you shouldn't be crazy, okay?" He gave a short nod and I went on. "I get it. I honestly understand why you got upset, but I'm telling you right now that the only thing that can come between us… is us. Hadley and I… Scorpius I wish you understood how completely that relationship is over. And I know you got scared because you saw how much what he does affects me, but I think the fact that we're friends now should show you how over it I am. I _can_ be friends with him because I don't hate him or want to get back at him or anything anymore. I don't have to do that because I have you. You matter to me more than anything."

Scorpius ran a hand down his face, and I noticed how he was slowly and steadily moving closer to me. I didn't even know if he was aware of it.

"We've been able to keep this a secret for over a month," I continued. "We've been careful and we'll continue to be. That's not coming between us. And as for that girl—Marie?" He nodded and the space between us got smaller. My heart started thumping as it did every time he was close. "She wasn't willing to work at it. She didn't want to break through your exterior, but Scorpius, I do. I'm not going anywhere."

He was finally a little bit under a foot in front of me and he reached out to put a hand on my hip. Even though there was a layer of clothing separating our skin from touching, I ignited under his touch.

"I'm sorry, Rose," he said, his eyes averted from mine. "I'm sorry for the way I acted and I'm sorry for being an idiot and I'm so sorry for making you doubt how I feel about you."

"Scorpius—"

"I know I made you doubt it. You thought 'he can't mean it. He's drunk,' but I did. I meant it with all of my being. Rose, I love you. I can't… I know it seems crazy, but I feel like you and I… I think I was meant for you. I can't imagine being without you."

I took a deep, shuttering breath before I smiled and threw my arms around his neck. "Oh, Scorpius."

He wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly to him. I drank in the feel of him around me as well as his smell and the way he felt—the way he held me—god, it felt so good. I buried my hands in his hair and then pulled my face back so I could press my lips to his. I couldn't believe this guy was mine. He was perfect in every imaginable way from his beautiful soul to his dorky sense of humor to the blonde hair I clutched in my hands and the gorgeous gray eyes that stared back at me. And he loved me.

I took his hand and I moved to sit against the wall of the astronomy tower. He sat down next to me, and I admired the way his body moved with such fluidity and grace—in a clear show of his athletic ability. Briefly, I glanced up at the sky above and was awed by the stars shining brightly above me. It seemed like there were millions of stars in the sky, watching me and winking at me, telling me that everything was going to be okay.

"I love it up here," I said, and I looked down to find Scorpius watching me as I watched the stars. I smiled. "What are you staring at?"

"You," he said with a crooked smile that made me smile back at him even bigger. "You're just so beautiful."

I blushed, but it was dark enough so that he didn't see.

"Does anyone know about us?" he asked. _Wait, what_? That was a sudden change of subject, causing me to frown.

"Only Albus," I said.

"He's your best friend?"

I nodded and scooted a bit closer so that my crossed legs were brushing up against Scorpius's bent ones. "In the world." He took one of his hands off his knee and moved it so he could clasp my hand in my lap. Then something occurred to me. "Do you have any friends?"

Scorpius shot a glance at me before he threw his head back and laughed heartily. His laughter was infectious, and I grinned along with him.

"Yes," he said, shaking his head. "I have friends."

I raised my eyebrows. "Who? Flitwick?"

He shot me a wry smile. "No," he said. "I've got friends. I'm just here and they all live in and around London. My best friend is named Jasper. We went to Hogwarts together. There's also Cassandra. We grew up together. And some others."

"Ah," I said, shooting him a look of mock disbelief. He nudged me with his shoulder and smiled.

"You can meet them sometime," he said casually.

I looked at him with raised eyebrows. "Really?" I loved it when we discussed future plans. It meant he planned on keeping me around, and that made me happier than anything ever.

"Sure. In June when you're finished I'll let you meet them."

I sighed. "I wish we didn't have to be a secret."

He looked over at me with a small, sad smile. "Me, too."

I shrugged. "It's not so bad, though. I don't mind having you all to myself." I leaned my head down on his shoulder.

"Yeah," he said quietly. "Me, too."

I loved being like this with him. We were both just sitting here, peaceful, no longer worrying about the night before or the fact that we were in a secret relationship. It was just he and I. Together. And it felt perfect. I moved a bit closer.

"Will I get to meet your parents, too?"

"Of course," he said. "They would love you." I couldn't see his face but I could hear that he was smiling. My fingertips started to tingle just a bit and I rubbed the pad of my thumb across them on the hand that wasn't holding his. "What is that?" he said. I was about to ask what would possibly make him think that his parents would like me when he had asked the question. I knew enough about my parents and Scorpius's parents that they probably really wouldn't be too fond of me.

I lifted my head up and looked around, thinking that he had seen or heard something. "What's what?" I asked before putting my head back on his shoulder when I didn't see anything. It just felt too good to have my head on his shoulder that I wanted to keep it there as much as possible. I was exhausted and he smelled like heaven.

"That thing you do—when you, you know." He put his free hand in front of me where I could see it and mimed what I did when my fingertips would tingle and ran his thumb across the tips of his fingers.

I blushed fiercely. I had no idea he had noticed that I was doing that. I had hardly noticed that I did it myself. It was just an unconscious thing that I did in order to get some relief when my fingertips were tingling from the affects that Scorpius had on me.

"I noticed it weeks ago," he continued. "And I have no clue why you do it. He turned his head to look at me and I moved my head from his shoulder to look at him.

I shrugged, trying to play it off, but my stomach felt a bit queasy. "It's…" I rolled my eyes and smiled. There was no reason to be embarrassed. He drove me mad with want and desire and this was how my body sometimes responded. I had no cause to feel weird or ashamed about it. "It's you," I said with another shrug. "When I'm around you my…" I swallowed as his gray eyes bore into me in the dark. "My whole body reacts, and sometimes…" I chuckled nervously. "Sometimes my fingertips just start to tingle, you know, like my hand fell asleep and it's trying to wake up. Sometimes I'll feel tingly around my whole body but it's mostly in my fingers." I finished with another shrug. "So I do that"—I repeated the gesture—"when I'm trying to get some relief from it."

By the time I finished explaining it to him, he was grinning so broadly that I thought his stupid face might split in half. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Oh, get over yourself."

"I have that much of an affect on you, do I?"

"Get that look off your face," I said, scooting away from him playfully, trying to contain a smile.

"Ah, ah, ah," Scorpius admonished, grabbing my wrist and pulling me back to him. I smiled as I fell into him and he cupped my face to pull me into a kiss. I grabbed at his waist to pull him closer and I moved until our legs became tangled and the kiss began to heat up. I felt it in my fingertips. This kiss felt different—like he was pouring more of himself into it—like he was trying to tell me he loved me. His tongue slid against mine slowly, but with purpose and his hand slid back into my hair to pull me closer. "Come back to my quarters," he murmured against my mouth.

"I—"

"I just want to hold you, Rose," he said, clearly understanding why I was hesitating. I still felt too raw.

"Okay."

I pulled away from him and moved to stand up, brushing the dust off my clothes as he stood up and did the same. Then I moved so that I could lace my fingers with his, and I looked up at him with a small smile before we walked out of the astronomy tower together.

* * *

_Next chapter:_

_"I love you, Rose. I know you love me, too. Just… baby, tell me you love me." _


	34. Gryffindor vs Ravenclaw

**Chapter 34**: **Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw**

"Harder. _Scorpius_."

I cried out and arched my back as my head fell forward and my hands gripped Scorpius's sheets tightly.

I was on all fours on his bed, my long hair pulled to one side and hanging down in front of me, while Scorpius gripped my hips hard enough to bruise and drove into me unforgivingly.

I was moaning loudly and uncontrollably as he hit _that_ spot within me each and every time he sank into me. He was grunting as he thrust into me, and the sounds our bodies were making were erotic as he slapped into my behind with a wet sound. I was so wet—everything was wet. He'd woken me up with his fingers trailing along my back softly as he admired my flesh. He had lifted my shirt up so that he could have access, and I had shivered violently and arched into his touch, scooting closer as my body craved closeness. At the same time that his fingers moved below the waistband of my underwear and sank into me with me still lying on my front but spreading my legs willingly for him, his teeth had sunk into my shoulder and I'd cried out.

He'd twisted his fingers inside me, bringing me to a quick climax before moving behind me and lifting my arse up just enough so that he could yank my underwear down and put his mouth between my legs. I had been helpless, my hands fisting his sheets, half clothed and on fire for him, while he kept a firm grip on my hips to keep me from moving.

The night before, after we'd finished talking in the astronomy tower, he had convinced me to come back to his room, but he hadn't tried anything. We'd gotten undressed slowly, and I didn't look at him because I'd known that if I did, I would have lost it. So I kept my back to him while I slipped out of my jeans and pulled my bra off before slipping one of his t-shirts over my head. He was down to his boxers when I turned to face him and it took all my will power not to jump him when I saw his strong arms and rippling abs tempting me.

I couldn't really say why I'd decided not to, but I had decided much earlier in the night that I couldn't sleep with him last night. I had too much to think about, and when he was taking me to new heights, there was no way I could concentrate on anything but that. Last night, I just wanted to be with him. I just wanted to look at him and talk to him and understand him. So we'd stayed up late in the dark, our eyes adjusting, and laying on our sides just looking at each other as we talked into the night. He'd kept apologizing about what he'd done on Halloween, but I had forgiven him long ago, and then he kept telling me he loved me, which made my heart hurt. He had always been touching me in some way—a hand on my shoulder or my waist or my thigh, trailing and teasing and igniting my skin—but that was as far as it went.

Perhaps that was why now, the morning after, we were both so desperate for each other that we'd hadn't even spoken as we'd ripped what little clothes we'd both been wearing off of each other before ending up like this.

His thick length was sliding in and out at an unforgiving pace, and I wanted him faster, deeper, harder, and he did everything in his power to comply.

Everything was so sensitive. My skin was tingling and even the slightest touch from him had me shivering and moaning. My walls and my bundle of nerves were sensitive after having come twice already and from having him pushing into me like this for so long. I needed release—I wanted to come so badly again—but I also never wanted him to stop. I wanted him like this—pounding into me and bent over me, whispering words of love and affection harshly into my ear.

But I couldn't hold back anymore. My body quickened. As much as I wanted it to go on forever, there was only so much I could take. "Scorpius. Baby, I'm coming," I told him as I pushed back against him, meeting each of his thrusts. He growled and went deeper—almost so deep that it hurt—and I clenched around him before my breath caught in my throat and my orgasm tore through me. _Fuck, fuck, fuck._ I cried out and moaned loudly as he continued to thrust, extending my pleasure until one orgasm rolled into another and I was sobbing. My body couldn't take the pleasure, and it felt so good that I felt tears leaking from my eyes as I came and came, my legs wobbling uncontrollably before they gave out.

I hardly registered Scorpius spilling himself inside me and pushing in a few more times before pulling out slowly and turning me onto my back and brushing my hair away before he began trailing kisses all over me while he whispered words to me that I couldn't make out.

It was still early, and I had a long time before I had to be in class, so as I felt my eyes drifting shut with exhaustion, I gave into it. I curled into Scorpius's arms and pressed my cheek against his chest as he continued to whisper. My mind was incoherent—I was overwhelmed with everything we'd just done and all of my emotions from the last few days were spilling over into this moment. I could feel tears leaking out of the corners of my closed eyes, but I didn't feel sad or upset in any way—it was just my body reacting to everything inside me.

Scorpius was pressing his lips to the top of my head, and I finally caught some of the words he was saying.

"I love you, Rose. I know you love me, too. Just… baby, tell me you love me."

I shivered at the desperation in his words. Why hadn't I said it back yet? I loved him. I had for weeks. But it was like when he told me, suddenly I became terrified. I was scared of what it meant. I was scared that everything was going to change if I told him. As much as I had longed for him to tell me, now that it had happened, I didn't know if I was ready for it.

"Just sleep, baby," he whispered, running a hand through my hair. "But tell me soon… Tell me you love me…"

* * *

A bit later, I woke up and showered alone in Scorpius's quarters. Scorpius had to leave early. I didn't have class until later, but he had to get to the Great Hall for breakfast and then back to the classroom for his first class of the day. He'd kissed me on my forehead before he left and told me he loved me. As it did each time when he said it, my heart clenched painfully. I knew he was saying it so it could sink in and so that I would know that he meant it, but I couldn't tell if my heart was clenching with joy or fear.

I finished my shower and dressed into my school clothes. I had a few extra pairs stashed at Scorpius's for when I stayed over. I didn't put on any make up or fix my wet hair. I was just so tired. I'd hardly slept the night before—I was too busy watching Scorpius sleep and wondering why I hadn't told him that I loved him yet. I thought about everything that had happened over the past few weeks and everything that Scorpius and I had talked about the night before.

He loved me.

I tried to hide my smile as I put on my trainers and yanked on my school skirt and white shirt. I yanked my robe over my head and grabbed my bag, and headed out the door.

"Rose?"

I jumped when I heard my name, and I turned around to see Samson Svenson—a beater on the Slytherin Quidditch team and one of Albus's housemates—coming toward me from the direction of Slytherin House.

"Hey, Sam."

Sam jogged a bit to catch up with me, and I slowed a bit to wait for him. He was one of Albus's more friendly housemates. It wasn't to say that all the Slytherins were rude—it was just that they weren't really the type to go out of their way to strike up conversation with a member of another house—least of all, a Gryffindor. Sam was different though. He had dark hair cut short and olive skin and a strong, firm build. He had sharp features—a strong jaw always smattered with stubble, intense hazel eyes that pierced when he looked at you, thick eyebrows, and a blade of a nose. He was actually quite good-looking. His parents were originally from Russia, and occasionally when he spoke I could hear traces of the accent that he grew up with, but normally he spoke with a raspy, somewhat jovial voice. He was several inches taller than me, so when he spoke, I had to actually look up at him.

"What are you doing down here? I didn't see you in our house this morning. Didn't see Albus either…" He muttered, trying to frown, but only succeeding in failing to hide a smirk.

"I left something in the Potions classroom," I said automatically. It was the stock lie I had created for if anyone saw me down here and asked questions. Sam was only the second person to ever question it, and the other had been another Gryffindor who had a Slytherin boyfriend. The only people who ever saw me down here were Slytherins, and they always assumed I'd been hanging out with Albus, or they just didn't care enough about what I was doing to ask. "Albus hasn't been around lately?" I then said with a small chuckle as we began to walk in step with each other. I didn't really feel like chitchat, but I wanted to change the subject quickly since I was dealing with the one inquisitive Slytherin on the planet.

Sam smiled. "He's been too busy with Bossenen."

I returned his smile. "Yeah, they're pretty serious."

"That's good," Sam said. "Better than Scamander." I glanced up and saw the dark look on Sam's face. He looked at me and gave me an apologetic half-smile. "I know he's your friend and all"—_not really_—"but the two of them were _always_ fighting. In Slytherin and in Ravenclaw. I never got any goddamn relief."

Sam spent a lot of time in Ravenclaw because he also happened to be dating my spectacularly beautiful cousin Dominique. She was tall and thin with long blonde hair and aristocratic, part-veela features. They made an impossibly fucking gorgeous couple. After his last sentence, Sam had looked over his shoulder as if half expecting Dominique to pop up behind him. She hated when he swore.

"Hmm," I said thoughtfully with a smile, shaking my head. "I bet."

"Oh, and Nic told me about your father," he said. "I'm really glad he's okay."

I let out a huff of air in an expression of my own relief. "Same here."

"He's doing all right?"

"Yeah, he's doing well," I said, nodding as we turned a corner. "I got to see him a few weeks ago after he was out of the hospital, and he and Her—my mum have been writing and keeping me updated."

Sam nodded sagely. "Good. Good. You aren't still with that Underwood prat, are you?"

I laughed. Every time I talked to Sam, I forgot how blunt he was and how all of his conversations were constant non sequitors.

"No. Just friends," I said.

"I didn't think so. You've seemed really happy lately, and I feel like being happy and dating Underwood are mutually exclusive."

I threw my head back and laughed loudly. He was right.

I forgot how much I liked Sam. It was also strange because he was so kind and funny and friendly—not really traits that Slytherins were known for—and Dominique was serious and a bit snobbish. But the two of them seemed to fit perfectly. They'd been together for years.

"Very true," I said. "But no, that's over."

"You ready for the game tomorrow?" Another non sequitor.

"Most definitely," I said with a nod. "Hugo has been a slave driver these past few months."

"And you're the new seeker, eh?" He gave me a small nudge with his elbow. "Congrats."

"Thanks," I said, smiling.

"But I still don't think you have a chance against us."

I rolled my eyes and Sam laughed. "Albus seems to think so, too, but I think you might be surprised."

We walked down the corridor and ascended the short flight of stairs that led to the entrance hall and walked into the Great Hall together, talking Quidditch. When we got inside, my head immediately jerked to my right, toward the sound of hushed, upset voices, and I saw a pair of people arguing in the corner. Of course—_of fucking course_—it was Lysander and Albus. I thought this bullshit would be done once they broke up, but apparently not.

"Typical," Sam said with an eye roll.

Albus spotted me and waved a hand in front of Lysander to tell him to stop. Lysander looked up and saw me, and I saw his pale cheeks pink a bit.

"I'm gonna go deal with this," I said to Sam, jerking my head toward Al and Lysander.

He shrugged. "Good luck."

"Tell Nikki I said hi."

"Will do," he said with a smirk. "See you around, Rose."

I gave him a small wave and then turned back to Al and Lysander. Lysander was gone, having apparently ducked out of the Great Hall, and Albus was standing rooted to the spot, looking at me quizzically. I just gave him an angry look and shook my head before turning and storming out of the Great Hall.

I heard him call my name, but I ignored it as I practically ran around the corner and saw Lysander walking quickly up the stairs.

"Hey!" I called after him. "Scamander!"

He looked over his shoulders and sagged in defeat when he saw me at the bottom of the stairs.

"What, Rose?"

"Get the fuck down here," I said, stomping up the stairs to meet him, which essentially defeated the purpose of my command. Lysander walked down a few steps to meet me, and I stood on a step above him so we could be eye level.

"God damn you, Lysander," I said, shoving at his shoulder. I was pissed, and with good reason. Not only was I on edge about everything happening between me and Scorpius, but I was sick and tired of Lysander and Albus. Albus was finally—_finally!_—in a good place in his love life. He had Fergie and he was happy, and of course, Lysander Scamander absolutely hated to see Albus Potter happy. He saw to it that Albus was miserable for two fucking years. I was just tired of men thinking they could say and do whatever they wanted and that they would get away with it.

"Rose—"

"Shut up!" I shouted, cutting him off. "You need to leave Albus _alone_," I said at a lower volume, shoving my finger into his chest on the last word. "Stop trying to ruin his life. He's _happy_, Lysander. He's happy without you, and you need to. Move. On. Dammit!" I ended with a shout, throwing my hands in the air. Lysander appeared to be speechless—his mouth slightly agape and his eyes wide. "Goddammit, Lysander. Don't you see what you're doing? No, of course you don't," I said without allowing him even a second to respond. "You don't see how terrible you are for him. Surely you don't or you would have stopped this bullshit two fucking years ago!"

"This is between Albus and me," Lysander said, finally finding his voice and trying to sound firm.

"No," I said, shoving my finger in his chest again. "You don't get to say it's between the two of you because when you're trying to hurt two people who I care about, it becomes my business, too."

"Well—"

"You said you wanted to be a better friend to me, well, how about being a better friend to Albus—how about being a better fucking _person_ IN GENERAL—"

"Rose." I heard a voice behind me, but I held up a finger to silence whoever it was.

"I've had enough of it. And I swear to god if you try to pull any bullshit again, I will fucking—"

"_Ms. Weasley._"

I whipped my head around and saw Scorpius standing there, looking impossibly beautiful with his blonde hair tousled and his gray eyes bright with concern.

"Sco—Prof—Professor."

"I think Mr. Scamander got your point."

I clenched my jaw and took several deep breaths. Scorpius gave me a stern look and my anger at Lysander dissipated just a bit. Scorpius seemed to have a calming affect on me. I couldn't focus on hating Lysander when all I could think about how much I loved Scorpius and wanted to throw my arms around him. I whipped my head around to Lysander.

"Just leave him alone, Lysander," I said, my voice low. "I mean it."

Lysander looked at me sadly and then just shook his head and turned to sulk up the stairs. I rolled my eyes and then turned back to Scorpius.

"Hi," I said. I was a few steps above him on the stairs, and all I wanted was to throw myself forward into his arms. I was so on edge, and even though he was part of the reason, I still needed the comfort of his arms.

"Hello, gorgeous," he whispered. "Everything okay?"

I shrugged. "Not really." I moved to walk down the stairs and he walked beside me. "I really wish you could put your arms around me," I whispered honestly.

I was looking down at my feet on the stairs, and I heard his sharp intake of breath. "Rose."

I looked up at him.

"_I love you,"_ he mouthed. My heart leapt, and I couldn't help it—I reached out to squeeze his hand briefly. He returned the squeeze and then pulled his hand away quickly. "Do you want to go somewhere and talk about it?"

I didn't know if he was referring to him not being able to put his arms around me, or what had just happened with Lysander, but I shook my head. I didn't want to talk about either. "How was class?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Fine. The first years make me laugh," he said with a small smile.

"Because they're such idiots?" I asked with a smirk. He shook his head at me, but he didn't say anything, which told me the answer. He just couldn't voice it because he was their professor.

"You have Transfiguration in a bit?"

I nodded, feeling my mood lift by just being able to talk normally with Scorpius. "Yeah. Ugh, Loodle gave us so much work. You need to have a talk with your bestie."

Scorpius smirked at me. "My _bestie_?"

"Yeah, well besides Flitwick."

He rolled his eyes at me, trying to contain a smirk, and shook his head. "Whatever. Have you heard from your father?"

"I got a letter yesterday morning. He's still doing fine."

"Good, Rose," he said sincerely with a nod. "I'm glad." He paused, and I could tell he wanted to say something else so I didn't fill the gap. "You look beautiful," he said quietly.

I gasped and looked at him. "Don't."

"What?" He frowned.

"I already want to jump your bones as it is."

He grinned, and we made it to the doors of the Great Hall. "Come by after class if you want to hang out or something."

I arched an eyebrow at him. "Hang out?" I smirked and walked ahead of him so I could go and sit with Albus at the Slytherin table. "Yeah, right," I said with my back to him. I could sense his grin.

When I sat down next to Albus, he didn't look up at me.

"I don't want to talk about it, and I don't need to hear a lecture."

_Fine. Whatever,_ I thought to myself. _We can play it like that_. I raised my eyebrows and sat down next to him without a word, scooping stuff onto my plate once I sat. Several moments of silence passed before I saw Albus turn his head out of the corner of my eye. I didn't say anything, and I didn't look at him. If he was going to snap at me and say he didn't want to talk about it or "hear a lecture," then he wouldn't get a peep out of me. I was tired of talking about him and Lysander anyway.

"Well?"

I glanced over at him before looking forward again and shoving a bite of potatoes into my mouth. "Well, what?" I said with my mouth full.

"I hate when you talk with your mouth full. Well, what do you want to say about Lysander?"

"Nothing I didn't already say to him."

Albus sighed. "I wish you wouldn't have gone after him. What did you say?"

I shrugged. "I thought you didn't want to talk about it."

"Rose—"

"Albus, I'm tired of it. I'm tired of this shit with the two of you. If you want him, then just fucking be with him. But don't string Fergie along because you're lonely. He loves you, and you owe him at least that much."

"That's what we were arguing about," Albus said quietly. "He wants me back, and I told him I loved Fergie and that he couldn't keep doing this."

I raised my eyebrows and looked at Albus. Well, that was something completely different. I didn't expect that at all. "I take it he didn't take it well."

Albus snorted. "Of course not. What did you say to him?"

"I told him to leave you the hell alone," I said forcefully. "And if he doesn't, he'll have to answer to me."

"I'm sure you have him shaking in his boots," Albus said sarcastically.

I scoffed. "I may have stopped being the biggest bitch in school because I'm all happy and in love now, but that doesn't mean she isn't lurking inside me somewhere."

"In love, huh?"

I looked over at Albus and he was smirking. I punched him in the shoulder and went back to sulking into my plate. I didn't have time for this.

* * *

I spent the night with Scorpius again. He was still doing everything he could to make up for Halloween, and I didn't know if my body could take much more of his "apologies."

It was the day of the first Quidditch match of the year—Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw—and I was exhausted from the work out Scorpius had put me through the night before and this morning. Hugo wasn't going to be pleased if he knew I hadn't gotten much sleep. And I felt a soreness between my legs that only aroused me when I thought about the cause of it, which was another thing Hugo wouldn't appreciate—distractions.

The memory of Scorpius wishing me luck was also clouding my brain, making me smile and giggle like a stupid idiot as I walked down to the pitch.

"_I think you're trying to sabotage Gryffindor."_

_Scorpius smiled at me sweetly from his spot on the bed, bending his arms and putting them behind his bed and stretching out his bare torso. I looked at him through the mirror, and I tried not to stare. But it was just so hard not to. _

"_Why in the world would I do that?"_

"_Because you want Slytherin to win the cup, and you know Gryffindor is their only real competition."_

_Scorpius laughed, and I watched his Adam's apple bob as he did so. It gave me the urge to run my teeth down his neck. _

"_And how, pray tell, am I trying to sabotage the Gryffindor Quidditch team?"_

"_By exhausting their seeker with sex."_

_Scorpius laughed loudly again, and I rolled my eyes at him before turning and going over to hop on the end of the bed near his feet so I could face him. God, he looked so good, stretched out, with the blanket just resting at his hips, threatening to slip down at any moment. _

"_Rose, you're going to be incredible today. I just can't help it that you make me constantly hard."_

_I gasped and reached for a pillow so I could smack him with it. He blocked it and laughed, but it wasn't really meant to hit him. It was mainly to distract him so I could hide my blush at his words. It always made me shy—but also hot as hell—when he said things like that. _

_When Scorpius smacked the pillow away, he reached forward and grabbed my wrist, yanking me toward him. I yelped but had no choice to give in, and before I knew it, I was cradled in his arms, my head resting on his chest and his arm around my shoulders. The hand attached to that arm was playing with a lock of my hair, while the other hand was resting on my wrist while my fingers splayed out on his chest and explored the blonde hair there. _

"_I'm nervous," I said quietly, voicing my fear for the first time. I felt like I was back in fourth year, playing my first game. I had never played seeker before in a _real_ game, and I was afraid I was going to make a fool of myself. _

_Scorpius gave my wrist a small squeeze. "Hey."_

_I tilted my head back so I could look up at him. "You're going to be great," he said. "Hugo knows what he's doing, and if he has faith in your abilities, why don't you?"_

"_I—I guess I do. I just—"_

"_He made you seeker because you were the best one for the position. And I've seen you play, and he's right. You are incredibly fast." _

_I smiled shyly and he tapped my nose with his finger and smiled back. "Always keep your back to the sun." I felt my smile slip, and I tensed a bit as Scorpius began to give me advice. I knew I probably looked eager for the information he was giving me, but I didn't care how I looked. Scorpius had been an incredible seeker back in his day, and any advice he gave was welcome. _

"_That's an elementary thing that people often forget," he was saying. "When the sun is in your eyes, you won't be able to see the snitch as well. But if your back is to it, a little glint off the snitch can win the game for you." _

"_Okay," I said breathlessly, hanging onto his every word. _

"_Only pay attention to what you see. Ignore the other seeker. This is risky, but if you focus on yourself and what your own eyes see, you won't be fooled by a distracted seeker or one who's trying to distract you. Okay?"_

"_Yes. Okay."_

"_And if you see that the snitch is near the other seeker and you can't possibly get to it in time, feint. Most other seekers spend too much of their time focused on the other seeker. If it's too close to him and he doesn't see it and you feint, nine times out of ten, he'll come flying in whatever direction you go in." He nodded at me, and I nodded in return to let him know I understood. His voice was a bit quieter on his next sentence. "Don't be afraid to take risks. You may miss out on something amazing if you don't."_

I grinned like a fool. I knew he was talking about me—I was a risk he took—_us_—and he was glad he took that risk. I recognized the double meaning in his words. Today I would take risks. Today I would drown everything else out—the crowd, the other seeker, and the fact that I still hadn't told this man I was crazy about that I loved him, too. Today I would put my back to the sun, and its heat would blanket me and protect me from everything.

Today, I would catch the snitch.

* * *

_Next chapter:_

_Rose has a secret..._


End file.
